An Aqua Version Christmas
Christmas Eve, 2000
Player: Santa Claus

Well, guys, looks like we have a short night this year.
Sad thing is, I decide whether to feel bad about the carnage or thank Doompuff for making our job so much easier.
NARRATOR votes thank it!
It might spare you for a bit when it comes back!
Oh, it's….HO-HO-HO!
What are you doing here?
What NARRATOR always does!
HARRASSING someone!
Can't you be good for once? It's Christmas time, people are supposed to be happy!
Exactly why NARRATOR is working EXTRA HARD!
…
figures…
NARRATOR takes SANTA's LIST and looks it over!
COAL, COAL, COAL, PRESENT, COAL, COAL, PRESENT, BOMB, COAL…
BOMB?!
WHO on EARTH gets a BOMB from SANTA?!
You of course.
NARRATOR facefaults!
Err…NARRATOR will now carefully DISCARD his CHRISTMAS STOCKING!
Now, go bug Mammy or Sabrina, you know, someone who deserves it. I've got to go spread Christmas cheer.
NARRATOR will not ALLOW anyone any HAPPINESS!
NOT on my watch!
NARRATOR brings PAIN and SUFFERING! On behalf of MISERY, NARRATOR will stop you!
Tough luck! The Sleigh's loaded and I'm about ready to take off!
You won't win this round you booming-voiced grinch!
NARRATOR thinks FAST!
ERICMHE is yanked out of RED VERSION and popped into SANTA's SLEIGH!
ERIC: Oooh, nifty!
Hey! Please don't touch that…
ERIC pushed it!
What is it?
Er…the sled's hyperdrive…
*VOOOOSSSHH!!!*
WOW! ERIC and SLEIGH disappeared in a streak of LIGHT!
Oh no…
ERIC: WH…
ERIC: OOO…
ERIC: OAAAA…
ERIC: AAAHHH!!!
WHAT THE?!
NARRATOR looks up!
NARRATOR sees a STREAK of LIGHT with occasional BREAKS in it!
That would be because he's orbiting the Earth of a speed of about 2.3 times a second…
Wow, so that's how you got EVERYBODY back when there was still a population of 6+ BILLION!
Uh-huh, I'm afraid that it's really not needed anymore, the population's back down to about 11,500, only about a third of which are children…
That helps explain why all NEWSPAPERS stopped trying to keep up with ORBITUARIES!
ERIC: …AKE…
ERIC: …THE…
ERIC: …IDE…
ERIC: …TOP!!!!
Make the ride stop?
Poor Eric, I really should try to help him.
…
HELP ERIC?!
Yes, I'm rather fond of the boy, he's kept the faith far longer than anyone sane ever could have.
…-_-''
It FIGURES that ERICMHE would still believe in SANTA!
Come in Eric, this is Chris Cringle to runaway sleigh, do you read me Eric?
NARRATOR has to check this out!

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
RADIO: *psht!* This is Santa… *psht!* ..do you read? *psht!* Over.
UUURRRRGGGG…Santa?
ERIC strains to move forward!
Just a little…more…
ERIC grabs RADIO!
ERIC is slammed back into SEAT!
…owww…
SLEIGH used 180 G's!
It's super effective!
Urg…Santa, this is MHE…what do you want?
SANTA: There should be a brake, it's a big black lever to your right.
I…see it…

SANTA: Good, now try to get to it.
Ok…
ERIC fights his way forward!
ERIC has progressed 6 INCHES! Only one and a half feet more to go!
Gah…GOT IT!!
SANTA: Good! Now squeeze and pull it back!
Ok!
Me, use BRAKE!
ERIC used BREAK!
The BRAKE broke!
…O_O'
AAAAAUUUUUUHHHHH!!!!!!
SOMEBODY SLOW THIS THING DOWN!!!!
DOOMPUFF could slow it down nicely!
NO WAY! YOU AREN'T BRINGING THAT THING HERE!!!!
True…
DONNER, PRANCER, COMET, BLITZEN, EVERBODY, WHOAH!!!!
REINDEER slow SLEIGH DOWN!
Yes!
Very SLIGHTLY!
Nooo…
What's that!
…oi, time to fight 180+ Earth's gravity again…
ERIC struggles forward!
GOT IT!
ERIC used YANK!
ERIC yanked the power cord out of the WARP NACELLES!
SLEIGH comes to a dead stop!
Ok…good…
ERIC looks over EDGE!
OH SHHHH…OOOT…
Ok, I don't move, I don't die…
ERIC feels a SNEEZE coming on!
Do not…
YES he DOES!
DO NOT!
Oh, yes you do!
DO NOT! DO NOT!! DO NOT!!!
…
AAAAAUUUUUUHHHHH!!!!!
ERIC learns that JUMPING up and down and SCREAMING is not good for SLEIGH's stability!
SLEIGH plummets towards EARTH!
SANTA: *psht!* Eric, this is Santa! *psht!* Grab the reins and pull up!
Ok…
ERIC sadly comes out of deadly PLUMMET!
Not in my opinion…
Hey, Santa? Mind if I joy-ride a little?
SANTA: WHAT?! YES I…
Goodie!
Come on guys!
ERIC is cruising!
In the weirdest ride on the planet!
Ooh, Saffron City…
Come on, a bit to the right, ah! Perfect!
ERIC begins dumping BAGS OF COAL onto SAFFRON GYM and SABRINA's HOUSE!
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
With all the Doompuff damage, the roofs aren't intact so it's into them too.
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
SANTA: Eric! Get back here right now!
Aww…why?
SANTA: Um…your presents aren't on the sleigh yet.
OOH! PRESENTS!!!
I'm there!

Oi, that kid can get so carried away…
ERIC appeared!
WHOAH! …What the?! …does that stupid DBZ personality have that "Instant Transmission" or something?
ERIC shakes his head no!
ERIC points to PARKED SLEIGH outside!
Ok then…
Well, Eric, since you're needed in Red Version I can't give you your presents yet, but I tell you what, I'll keep them on stand-by for you for as soon as you get back.
ERIC: YAY! PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS!
"Youthfully exuberant…" at what? 18?
NARRATOR has present for ERIC!
NARRATOR sends ERIC back to RED VERSION!
ERIC: EEP!
Even CLOSER to DOOMPUFF than he was BEFORE!
ERIC: ACK!