Aqua Version Special Battle:
Char Gone, or, how the All Mighty Jason Ross Really Met His End.
March 4, 2001
Player: Jason Ross
Setting: Pseudo Reality, JR's room

JASON ROSS sits in a corner, shivering and muttering NONSENSE!
Can't sleep Chargon will get me…can't sleep Chargon will get me…
What has YOU so scared?
Have you even seen "Sir Chargon's" new picture on Mr. Kite's picture page?
Uh…no…err, address?
Do I look like a webpage or something? Find your own link.
…-_-' What the? How'd I do that? Oh yeah, I'm almighty. Silly me.
NARRATOR loads picture page, NARRATOR scrolls DOWN, NARRATOR looks for Sir…HOLY SHIT! AAAAHHHH!!
Everyone has that reaction. He just has that affect on people. And…disembodied voices of pure evil too it would seem.
Eric put it pretty well…
Uh-huh…ACK! JASON should look THERE!
Huh? What….AAAAHHHHH!!!!
JASON turns to BED! SEES CHARGON standing on other side of the ROOM!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
SIR CHARGON: I see by your panicked reaction and continued screaming that you know I am here to kill you.
KILL ME?! I KNEW IT!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
NOOOO!!!!!
I just can't go out like this! I'm popular, I'm almighty, I'm pretty, I'm…I'm WORSHIPPED!
SIR CHARGON: Forget it Jason. You have no chance to survive. Or even make your time.
NOOOO!!!! PLEEEAAAASEEE!!! ALL MY BASE ARE BELONG TO YOU! JUST DON'T KIIIIILLL MEEEE!!
SC: Oh no, it is far too early to kill you. I can think of far more entertaining things to do involving you and this giant gunblade I have with me.

AAAHHH--*GAG* Urg! Pain…in chest…heart…going…crazy…*URP!* could…this be…what they…call…a heart…attack?
SC: Actually I think it's what they call William Shatner style acting.
Joke…not funny…going to…pass out!
JASON ROSS hits the floor and lies STILL!
SC: Sorry Jason, not buying it.
NARRATOR thinks SIR CHARGON sees RIGHT THROUGH JASON's attempt to play possum!
…dang it! Ix-na on aying-pa ead-da!
…PIG LATIN…cute…-_-'
SC: Stop this ridiculousness Jason. You're acting almost like this site's main character.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EX….EEEPP!!!
JR ducks!
JR looks around!
What? No anti-cursing storm clouds?
No…HELL isn't a SWEAR WORD, it's a GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION!
…right across the street down the fiery hole to be exact.
Urrh?
This is AQUA VERSION!
…um…point taken…
SC: Excuse me, but I believe we're off track here.
Oh, yes right, I believe you were about to do horrible and painful things to my person.
SC: Exactly.
WINDOW shatters inwards!
ERIC lands heavily on the floor!
ERIC: Owchies…
Urrh? EricMHE?
ERIC: No… I'm the Aqua Webmaster. I've decided I can't allow the almighty Jason Ross to be killed on Aqua! …I must climb back up the ranks and all you know.
Jeez…how touching.
SIR CHARGON looks at ERIC!

ERIC: O.O FABIO MONSTER!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
ERIC jumps out WINDOW and lands even HARDER than last time!
ERIC twitches randomly in a GROSS HEAP!
Well, thanks Eric, now I know you're TOTALLY USELESS!
ERIC: Ah shut up…this HURTS!
SC: Not nearly as much as you well when I'm through with you.
EEP! ERIC! Stay right there! I'M GOING TO USE YOU AS A CUSHION TO BREAK MY FALL WHILE I RUN AWAY FROM CHARGON!
ERIC: LIKE HELL! You stay up there! HEY! DON'T YOU… IF YOU CLIMB ANY FARTHER OUT OF THAT WINDOW I'LL…I'll…I'll have the Narrator evolve you into Super Sailor Pokébattles!!!
JASON looks back and forth between SIR CHARGON and ERIC!
Unknown fate at the hands of Sir Chargon……crossdressing, maybe even gender switching…… Unknown fate… loss of manhood… Sir Chargon… getting in touch with my feminine side…
NARRATOR grins evilly at ERIC!
ERIC: Oh no…what are you thinking about?
NARRATOR finds that SUPER SAILOR POKéBATTLES thing…interesting!
ERIC: Uh…NO! DON'T YOU DARE TRY USING MY OWN IDLE THREAT AGAINST ME!
IDLE THREAT? NARRATOR did not say anything about "IDLE THREAT"!
ERIC: Uh-oh…
Hmm…Hey, Chargon, how'd you get in here anyway? I have the place locked up tight just for fear of you tracking me down.
SC: I have…my ways.
Ah man, don't tell me you're going to grow horns or something!
SC: Look into my eyes. Tell me, do you think I need horns?
EEEEPP!!
SC: I can do other stuff too. Look.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
SC: Now Jason, time to say goodnight.
NUH-UH!!
Only one thing has any chance of saving me! ARISE MY DEFENDER!
DOOMPUFF appeared!
SIR CHARGON looked at DOOMPUFF!

DOOMPUFF instantly deflated!
O.O I'm screwed.
SIR CHARGON looks at DOOMPUFF REMAINS!
SC: Interesting…this looks like an inflatable toy…
Urrrr…
SC: What are you doing with a Doompuff toy in your room? What? Do you have some old GI-Joes around here that are snapped in half or something?
Ah-heh…how'd you ever guess I usually role play my battles out before I write them?
SC: O.O …well…it certainly explains something about Red Version quality.
Yes it….HEY!
SC: Now, it is time to begin our little adventure into the wonders of the human nervous system.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
EWWWW! WHAT is THA….OH GROSS! Err…NARRATOR is leaving NOW!
Good thing JASON's already DEAD or he'd be in a LOT of PAIN right now…
OWW! HELP!

All right, NOW IS THE TIME TO POST FEEDBACK! If you don't, I might just try to get Sir Chargon to pay you a visit! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!