Blue Version Poké Battles #46-50: Insulting Temptations
Archived 2.23.2000

Insulting Temptations
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue

Bulby should have known better than to insult the chef.
This battle involves a conflict with food (this is quickly becoming a popular Blue Version theme) in which the trainer "Bulby" uses his (maybe her?) Missing No. to battle an irate chef. This battle does a good job of blending the chef's reality-based attacks with Bulby's game attacks. Check out the battle below!
Battle #46: Restaurant Rumble  January 5, 2000
Setting: Game 50% / Reality 50% / Anime 0%
Player: Bulby  [No Record]
Written by tdconway@knology.net  New Author
Readers' Choice: Award Winning Battle

Ugh, this sandwich tastes like mud!
CHEF is enraged!
Well, it's true.
CHEF wants to fight!
O.K. BRING IT ON!!!!
CHEF sent out POT!
O.K. Go for it, MISSINGNO.!
BULBY sent out MISSINGNO.!
POT used LID!
It's not very effective...
MISSINGNO.! Use your SKY ATTACK!
MISSINGNO. used SKY ATTACK!
It's super effective!
POT fainted!
Ha! You give up?
CHEF sent out PAN!
MISSINGNO.! Use WATER GUN!
MISSINGNO. used WATER GUN!
It's not very effective...
Uh oh…
PAN used FRY!
It's super effective!
MISSINGNO. fainted!
NO!!!! MISSINGNO. return!
BULBY withdrew MISSINGNO.!
Go! GAMEBOY!
BULBY sent out GAMEBOY!
PAN used FLIP!
GAMEBOY was FLIPPed!
Hang in there, GAMEBOY! Use your LINKCABLE attack!
GAMEBOY used LINK!
PAN is LINKed!
Alright! Use your TRADE attack!
GAMEBOY sent PAN through LINKCABLE!
Use BREAKLINK!
GAMEBOY used BREAKLINK!
PAN was deleted!
PAN fainted!
BULBY wins!
Yeah! Woohoo!
CHEF ran away!
WAITER appeared!
WAITER used BILL on BULBY!
AAAAGGGHHH! Look at this!
WAITER wants to fight!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Get me out of here!!
BULBY ran away!

Gloom was tempted to catch the gardener.
This battle pits a gardener against a vicious Oddish. Using a blend of the game and reality settings, the gardener in this battle uses his gardening equipment to fend off Oddish's Pokémon-based attacks. The Oddish quickly turns the tables however.
Battle #47: Plant Killer  January 12, 2000
Setting: Game 70% / Reality 30% / Anime 0%
Player: Gardener  [No Record]
Written by donny_young@yahoo.com  New Author

What a great day to garden my garden
ODDISH appeared
Get away you pest
ODDISH wants to fight
Hahaha, you don't stand a chance you plant
ODDISH is getting angry
Oh so the plant is mad!
Ok, I'll fight you, you pest
Go Weed Killer
Gardener sent out Weed Killer
Weed Killer, spray!
Weed Killer used spray
Weed Killer Missed
No!
ODDISH used stun spore
Weed Killer was Paralyzed
Return Weed Killer
Go Thorn Bush!
Gardener sent out Thorn Bush
Thorn Bush, use thorns!
ODDISH is hurt badly.
Yeah!
ODDISH gives an evil eye
ODDISH uses Sleep Powder
Thorn Bush is sleeping
No!
ODDISH drop kicks thorn bush
Thorn bush fainted
ODDISH is in pain from the thorns
Haha! You're gonna lose now ODDISH
Gardener sent out Gardener
Where's that hose at?
Here it is!
Gardner used Hose on ODDISH
ODDISH fells revived
NO! Wrong move!
ODDISH drop kicks Gardner
ODDISH used Sleep powder on Gardner
No... must sleep, tired *yawn*
ODDISH is evolving!
ODDISH evolved into Gloom
Gloom took the Gardener's Poké ball
Gloom threw the Poké ball
Gloom caught a Gardener!
To be continued...

David's temptations to win his next badge were not enough for a victory.
This battle is not funny in the least. It was not the author's intent for it to be funny, either. This battle was written with only the battle itself in mind, rather than on taking the traditional comedic stance on Pokémon. This isn't the first battle to do this, but it is fairly rare to see battles of this type.
Battle #48: Trainer Challenge  January 12, 2000
Setting: Game 100% / Reality 0% / Anime 0%
Player: Blaize  [No Record]
Written by Squrtle083@aol.com  New Author

So David you want to challenge me
David: Yep meet your doom
Go Pikachu
David: Ha go Raichu
Pikachu agility
Pikachu: Pika
Pikachu moves around Raichu real fast
Raichu: Raichu
Raichu's confused
David: Raichu thunderbolt
Raichu: Raichuuuuuuuuuu
Thunderbolt came back and hit Raichu
Pikachu Quick attack
Pikachu: pika pik
Raichu faints
David: You lucked out.  Raichu return
David: Go Diglett
Ok Pikachu swift
Stars fly at Diglett
David: Diglett dig
Diglett went under ground
Pikachu agility
Pikachu's speed rose
Diglett came out of ground and missed Pikachu
Pikachu Quick attack
Diglett is hit hard
David: Diglett dig
Diglett went under ground
Pikachu agility
Pikachu failed to do that
Diglett came up and hit Pikachu
Pikachu fainted
Pikachu return Go Pidgeot
Peck
Pidgeot pecked Diglett
Diglett fainted
David: Ok my last Pokémon is Charizard
David: Go Charizard
Pidgeot peck it
Half of Charizard's damage was taken away
David: Charizard Flamethrower
Pidgeot fainted
Ok for my last Pokémon go Blastoise
David: Charizard slash
Blastoise's speed fell
Blastoise hydro pump
Charizard fainted
YES I WIN!
Good match
David: Yeah

Bob was understandably insulted by the death of all his Pokémon.
This battle, written by returning author charmy@ist.ca, pits the angry trainers Bob and Pikachu against Jason Ross (a.k.a. the webmaster of this site). Bob is first to step into battle, desiring revenge against the webmaster who decided that all his Pokémon should be killed. The best part about this battle is that it blends in perfectly with the rest of the Poké Battles universe, supporting the fact that Bob has always been aware of the existence of an almighty webmaster. This fact was revealed in the Poké Battles fanfic last December, but this battle was written before that.
Battle #49: Revenge of the Trainers  January 19, 2000
Setting: Game 70% / Reality 30% / Anime 0%
Player: Jason Ross  [Record: 0-1-0]  Last Battle: Loss vs. Queen Victoria (Battle #27)
Written by charmy@ist.ca  Author of Literacy Letdown (Battle #32)
Author of Nightmare Vision (Battle #11)
Webmaster's Choice: Award Winning Battle

Well, I have finally finished a long day of updating.
Bob appeared!
Well great, what do you want?
Bob is angry!
And why is that?
You killed all his Pokémon!
so..
Bob wants to fight!
Great, Go me!
Bob sent out computer!
I'll delete you off the page.
Jason Ross used delete!
Bob was deleted!
Good..
Pikachu appeared!
And you want..?
Pikachu wants to fight!
Why?
Bob said he'd give him a rare candy if he did!
Oh, well I deleted him.
Pikachu is enraged!
I can't delete you, you're too cute.
Jason Ross used delete!
Pikachu's PP for thundershock was deleted!
All but one PP for thunder was deleted!
I'd like to see this.
Pikachu used Thunder!
Pikachu's attack missed!
Hehehe..
Pikachu's thunder kept going and crashed!
Into tree!
Uh oh..
Tree used fall!
Tree fell beside Jason!
That was close.
Tree knocked down metal pole!
Metal pole fell on Jason!
Ouch.
Jason fainted!
Pikachu wins!

The temptation to use the N64 caused insults to be hurled between trainers.
This battle has the honor of being the 50th Blue Version Poké Battle on the site. Since the author included her own summary, and since this is the 50th battle, I'll break the rules this time and let the author explain her own battle:

"My Poké Battle. :) Apparently my Vaporeon secretary, Ceciliana, and my Raichu janitor, Reno, have been fighting over the N64. Unfortunately, they are both stuck-up, self absorbed Pokémon who really aren't as powerful as they think, compared to their trainer, the Emblem of Light, Anne, me, hehe, and they must never displease her, or she will squash them. Uh-oh…"
Battle #50: Poké Battles 64  January 19, 2000
Setting: Game 70% / Reality 30% / Anime 0%
Player: Ceciliana  [No Record]
Written by sternlin@hal-pc.org  New Author

Gimme the N64 controller!!
RENO said no way!!
RENO pulled N64 controller!
Give it back!!
CECILIANA smacked RENO!
RENO said OWWWWW!!!!
RENO is in pain!
RENO said stuck-up, stupid, clumsy excuse of a Vaporeon!! Lemme show you
how a Raichu fights!!
RENO wants to fight!
Heh! Prepare to get squashed!
RENO said why you!!
RENO sent out RENO!
Oh yeah?!
Go, CECILIANA!
CECILIANA used HYDRO PUMP!
Critical hit!
RENOI said owww!
RENO is dizzy!
RENO used DIZZY PUNCH!
It's not very effective!
CECILIANA used SIT!
CECILIANA SAT on RENO!
RENO said get off me you fat, ugly GIRL!
RENO insulted CECILIANA!
CECILIANA is ENRAGED!
CECILIANA used KABOOM!
RENO fainted!
RENO said I did not faint!
Whoo-hoo, you stink, loser!! Ha ha!
CECILIANA used LAUGH!
CECILIANA is LAUGHING!
RENO sent out SAILOR MOON!
You have SAILOR MOON?! Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha!!!
CECILIANA used HYSTERIC!
CECILIANA is HYSTERICAL!
Hee hee, bad one, Mr. Sailor Moon Raichu-boy! Take this!
CECILIANA withdrew CECILIANA!
Do it! VEGETA!
SAILOR MOON is cowering in fear!
RENO said g'ah! Kill 'im, Sailor Moon!
SAILOR MOON used MOON HEALING ACTIVATION!
VEGETA regained health!
RENO said I said KILL, you idiot!!
VEGETA used BLAM!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
SAILOR MOON became petrified!
RENO said arrrrgggghhh!!!! Hit him with everything you've got!!
SAILOR MOON used MOON TIARA MAGIC!
SAILOR MOON's attack missed!
Ha ha, ha ha ha! KYA HA HA!!!! Vegeta, this battle's over!
VEGETA used STOMP!
SAILOR MOON was crushed!
SAILOR MOON fainted!
CECILIANA defeated RENO!
RENO said aaaah!
Heehee! Winner takes all! Kya ha!
CECILIANA used FLORESCENT BALL!
RENO was caught!
CECILIANA received a SAILOR MOON!
Oooooh nooooo!!! I don't want a crybaby wimp! Waaaah! Oh well. At least
I get to play Zelda and Smash Brothers. Kya ha ha! KYA HA HA!! KYAAAA
HAAAA HAAAA...
ANNE used GASP!
ANNE GASPED!
ANNE asked why you're playing with her N64!
Oooops...
ANNE wants to fight!
ANNE sent out EMBLEM OF LIGHT!
Gulp…
Hehe. Poor Ceciliana. Sequel coming soon… er… maybe not soon… hehe.

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January 5, 2000 - January 19, 2000
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