| Battle #11 Dacta, The Hentai Setting: Dacta's Room Player: Dacta MPR (I dunno her record. Sue me.) Written by: Dacta Lord. My last battle blew billy goats. CRIMSON KING is ANGRY! CRIMSON KING: You cost us the first place last week! Uh, oops? CRIMSON KING's eye is BUGGING! CRIMSON KING used YELL! ::whimper:: A big sixteen year old is threatening an innocent eleven year old...::sniffsniff:: WAHHHH! CRIMSON KING: W-wait! Don't cry! WAHHH! MOMMY, DADDY, I'M BEING HARRASSED BY SOME STRANGER!! MOMMY and DADDY appeared! CRIMSON KING: Eeep! CRIMSON KING ran away! MOMMY and DADDY won against CRIMSON KING! Yeah, now get out of my room. MOMMY and DADDY exited! DACTA MPR is LOUNGING in ROOM! Ahhh... KNOCKING is heard! Dammit...just a sec! DACTA MPR ripped down PORN of RYOGA, MAMORU, SHINJI and JASON BEHR! Ugh, DACTA MPR is a HENTAI! And damn proud! DACTA MPR opens DOOR! TOUJI appeared! Er... DACTA MPR's eyes wander BELOW TOUJI's WAISTLINE! TOUJI: Ahem! Uh, sorry. Why are you here anyway? I don't even watch EVA. "Mature audiences only!" TOUJI: This coming from a Perfect Blue otaku? Hey! ::blush:: How do YOU know that? TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC plays! EVA 03 stabs ORGANIST! Despite not being able to fit into this room... Hey, I paid good money for him! NARRATOR didn't say ORGANIST was DEAD! Whoohoo! ORGANIST died! ............... ANGEL appeared! Ahhh! DACTA MPR hid behind EVA 03 and shoved TOUJI forward! TOUJI: You idiot, that's David Boreanez! .....kill it, kill it! ................ Uh, Narrator? ................ Well, that's a first. The Narrator just plain quitting. Sorry, NARRATOR was just DISTRACTED by JASON ROSS PORN! Heh heh...who's the hentai NOW? It was from DACTA MPR's STASH! D'oh! DR. DECKER appeared! DR. DECKER spotted ANGEL! DR. DECKER: Heh heh! Finally! A challenge! DR. DECKER wants to fight! Heyyy! I'm the main character! Screw DACTA MPR! ANGEL doesn't want to FIGHT! ANGEL: My soul...so...heavy... ANGEL slapped HAND over FOREHEAD DRAMATICALLY! ANGEL ran off! DR. DECKER won against ANGEL! DR. DECKER shrugged! DR. DECKER: Oh well! DR. DECKER ran away! ::sigh:: Well, Touji, this is a battle, so we have to make some sort of artificial battle. TOUJI: Er...EVA 03 could smush you in a heartbeat. That was if it HAD a heart! Muaha! TOUJI blinked! Anyway...let's just see about that... DACTA MPR kicked EVA 03 in the CROTCH! TOUJI can feel all that EVA 03 feels! Despite not being hooked up... TOUJI's voice went WAY UP! TOUJI grabbed his BALLS! TOUJI: The pain! TOUJI ran out of the room in HYSTERICS! DACTA MPR won against TOUJI! EVA 03 is left behind! Hmm...it could make a nice room ornement. Just have to move it a little... DACTA MPR used SHOVE! EVA 03 moved a MILLIMETER! That's progress! Ugh...just need a few more battles to move it a foot or so...UGHHHHH! DACTA MPR used MOVING ORG ASM! NARRATOR ended BATTLE before it got UGLY! |