| Battle #18: Jesus was Jiggy, Biatch Player Name: MC J-Zus Krist Setting: Da Holy Hood By CrimsonKing J-ZUS sat at the TABLE with the HOLY DAWGS! Yo brothas, ya'll know I'd like ta be chillin' down in the hodd wit ya, but the white man gonna nail my azz to a cross, y'know? HOLY DAWGS catch ya DARTS, black! Yeah so I was thinkin', yo, while I'm dead an' shizat, ya'll brothaz gonna have ta hold things down here while I get mah resurrection on, knaamean? BIG DADDY PAUL: Yo but J, m'man, how we gonna bust up them wack Romans witout yo' mad freestyles, black? Yo, just keep ya dome focused on mah dope lyrics, homie. BIG DADDY PAUL: Word, J-Zus! ROMAN PIG POLICE appeared befo' yo AZZ! Damn! Looks like I gotta get mah death on, disciple dawgs! Peace out, peeps! ROMANS put J-ZUS in tha WACK ROMAN WHIP! WHIP drove to DA CROSS! Yo, Big G, if there be a way ta take this stress from me, yo, hook a brotha up man! BIG G is SILENT! J-ZUS cries! Hey, yo, that ain't cool, black. Don't be hatin' on a saviah, ya'll know I'm f'real. J-ZUS was brought to DA CROSS! PONTIOUS P appeared! PONTIOUS P: Aiight J-Zus, ya'll get up on dat cross NOW, biatch, I ain't playin' with you. Aiyyo, don't be sweatin' me, I'ma get on. J-ZUS was NAILED to CROSS! Fo' some reason I gots a premonition of a Crimson King recievin' mad hate mail fo' this battle in tha distant future... J-ZUS is DEAD! J-ZUS is DESCENDIN' to da HELL SIDE PROJECTS! NARRATA sez it's GOOD ta be HOME! DR. DEV appeared! DR. DEV: These punk brothaz think they can step in mah hood, huh? Hell no J-Zus, ya'll goan' get bucked on mah block, G. Do yo' worst! DR. DEV: Aiight Krist, les' battle! Ya'll don't have a chance 'gainst tha illest saviah this side a' Mecca, biatch! DR. DEV wants to fight! Go! J-ZUS! DR. DEV sent out DR. DEV! Aiyyo, check dis fly ice, biatch! J-ZUS used BLIND! J-ZUS BLINDed DR. DEV with HUGE PLATINUM CHAIN! DR.DEV cannot attack! Yeeeaahh boy!! Now fo' mah supa-black double fly fliggity-- NETWORK INSPECTORS appeared! NETWORK INSPECTOR 1: Hey, there's no battle on this page! What the hell is this? I can't read a word! NETWORK INSPECTOR 2: Uh. Just tell Jason to skip it. NETWORK INSPECTOR 1: Right. Hey yo, wha'appened? NETWORK RERANK began! Word? But, yo, what about-- BATTLE ended! Hey, nah, that ain't cool man, what tha hell? TO BE CONTINUED! Yo, I ain't goan' stand here fo' a whole week am I? Hello? Yo, I'm talkin' to yo azz, ya'll listen to ya Lord! Hello? |