| Battle #2: Snap, Crackle, Pop Player Name: Dacta, MPR By Crimson King Uh oh, the Crimson King is writing a battle about me. He can control my every action! Why does that not strike me as a good thing? A safe distance away, the CRIMSON KING laughs EVILLY! DACTA's CONFIDENCE greatly fell! Well...I'm sure he won't do anything too bad. DACTA entered an NSYNC CONCERT! Damn you, Crimson! Damn yoooooooooouu!! LANCE BASS: Back-streets back, alright! Stupid Crimson King can't even get his crappy pop music groups straight. CRIMSON KING: That's because they were never "straight" to begin with! Ha ha ha ha! CRIMSON KING used HORRIBLE JOKE! But, it failed! Must find an escape from this concert! You, with the 98% artificial body! Want to help me get outta here? BRITNEY: No way! I want to, like, check out that hunk Justin Timberlake. BRITNEY swoons! Mother of God. Is there capital punishment in this state? Never mind, I'll institute it myself. DACTA used GLOCK! BRITNEY died! Now to find some real help out of this hellhole. JASON ROSS appeared! JASON ROSS: Hi! nedd some help out of this hellhole? Yay! Of course Jason would be above the Crimson King's influence! Can you get me out of here, JR? JASON ROSS: Sure! Follow me! DACTA joined JASON ROSS' party! JASON ROSS' party left NSYNC CONCERT! So where are we going? JASON ROSS's party entered an ABANDONED WAREHOUSE! You're lost, aren't you? JASON ROSS: No! Crimson trapped me in this battle and isn't letting me out unless I lure you into this abandoned warehouse! My job is done, so off I go! Sucks for you! JASON ROSS left ABANDONED WAREHOUSE! But DACTA is still in JASON ROSS' party, and left ABANDONED WAREHOUSE also! ABANDONED WAREHOUSE exploded! Hey, that jerk tried to kill me off! What the hell? I'm not even his character! JASON ROSS ripped his FACE OFF! CRIMSON KING was underneath the FACE! Ah, so you used the old "Mission Impossible mask" ploy, eh? CRIMSON KING: What? Uh, no, this is Jason's actual face. Ever seen the movie Face/Off? So right now Jason is just running around without a face, huh? CRIMSON KING: Nah, I think he took John Travolta's face. So John Travolta is just running around without a face, huh? CRIMSON KING: Nah, I think he took Nicholas Cage's face. So Nicholas Cage is just running around without a face, huh? CRIMSON KING: Well...yes, Nicholas Cage is just running around without a face. I knew it! CRIMSON KING: Say Dacta, could you direct me to your former Webmistress? I think I'm supposed to be making an allied poke battles site with her about now. She's up in Battle 1, I think. CRIMSON KING: Okay, thanks. And, uh, no hard feelings about me trying to kill you, okay? Nah, we're cool. Give me a win for this battle and we'll call it even. By the way, do you have a punchline written to this battle, or anything remotely humorous, or does it just fizzle out like your battles usually do? CRIMSON KING: Do you want this win or not? Oh, sorry, sorry. DACTA wins against CRIMSON KING! And don't forget to visit the ALL NEW CINNIBAR VERSION weekly! Home of the anti-climactic, fizzling-out Poke Battles! The End! |