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| Battle #27 Cinnabar [Un]Special Battle Dacta MPR meets the Freak--I mean Chargon Setting: Wherever the hell my love--I mean /Eric/ left off Written by: Dacta MPR Player: Dacta MPR (A loss. Let's just put it that way and the world will be a safer place.) DACTA MPR looks down at JASON ROSS' opened CARCASS! Ooo...that's nasty. Yet I have this sudden craving for hamburgers. DACTA MPR is SICK-MINDED! Yeah. Yeah, I am. Hey...where's Chargon? SIR CHARGON appeared! Sir. Pfft. SIR CHARGON demands you NOT insult his KNIGHTHOOD! Pfft again. You're no knight in shining armor. Ch-ch-CHING! Who the hell let that drum guy in? JASON ROSS owns one! Man, those banner clicks really pay off... SIR CHARGON: Now I shall kill you like I killed Jason Ross! SIR CHARGON's EYES begin FLASHING COLORS! ...Is that supposed to scare me? SIR CHARGON: It's not? Dude, I can see the frickin' plug on that supposed body of yours. Now, where's the real master of this operation? SIR CHARGON stepped out from BEHIND JASON's BED! Oh God! It's even worse! |
| DACTA MPR covered EYES! Oh thank God...seconds later, my retinas would've been melted... SIR CHARGON: Now I can attack without your knowing! SIR CHARGON pulled out FLIMSY SWORD! SIR CHARGON: Heh heh heh... Wild SIR CHARGON attacked! Well, I suppose I must take these eye coverings off...but I better take off my glasses as well. DACTA MPR took off GLASSES and EYE COVERINGS! SIR CHARGON was right in her FACE! Ahhh! The horror! |
| SIR CHARGON whacked DACTA MPR with FLIMSY SWORD! Nothing happened! Is that your idea of swordsplay? SIR CHARGON: Uh huh. Well then! Just go insulting me, huh? I'll show you REAL swordsplay! DACTA MPR pulled out SABRE WEAPON! Now, en garde! FENCING DIRECTOR appeared! FENCING DIRECTOR:...Fence! FENCING DIRECTOR demands pay! Dammit... DACTA MPR reaches into her POCKET! SIR CHARGON STRIKES!!! |
| DACTA MPR holds him off with her INDEX FINGER! Not now, I'm trying to get some cash! DACTA MPR pulled out FIFTY BUCKS! FENCING DIRECTOR: Pssha...you got away easy this time. FENCING DIRECTOR ran away! SIR CHARGON won against FENCING DIRECTOR! What about me?! DACTA MPR never wins! Damn yooouu! SIR CHARGON used SLASH! FLIMSY SWORD slashed at DACTA MPR's SHIRT! Now you're getting on my nerves...THIS ISN'T A PORNO LITHIUM BATTLE! SIR CHARGON: Like hell it isn't! It isn't. SIR CHARGON: Oooh...why does everyone have to spoil my fun? FUN used SPOIL! FUN is thoroughly SPOILED! Ew...Jason's body is beginning to smell... DACTA MPR threw JASON'S BLOODY CARCASS out the WINDOW! |
| SIR CHARGON: Shouldn't we give him a proper burial? ...Again, I repeat: Pssha. And anyway, do you know how much money that takes?? SIR CHARGON: You just gave a random fencing director fifty bucks for saying "fence." You! Shut up! Fence! SIR CHARGON: See, you could've done it your- Did someone not hear my /kind/ request for you to F***ING SHUT UP?? SIR CHARGON: Oooh, someone's PMSing. Ooooh, someone's F***ING DEAD! RSACi appeared! Oh. Hi RSACi! Long time, no see! DACTA MPR used INNOCENT SMILE! RSACi took DACTA MPR under CUSTODY! Hey, wait! This isn't fair! ERIC the AQUA WEBMASTER appeared CRASHING through the WINDOW! My savior! |
| ERIC MHE: Actually, I just came in here to steal Jason's stereo, but while I'm at it, I don't see why I can't save you. ERIC MHE grabbed DACTA MPR's ARM! RSACi grabbed OTHER ARM! TWO began PULLING on DACTA MPR! OW! WILL YOU STOP HURTING ME?? IT'S REALLY PAINFUL! ERIC MHE pulled DACTA MPR away from RSACi! You saved me! And only had to disconnect ten joints to do it! Kiss me, you fool! ERIC MHE: Um...I hear my mother calling! You don't live anywhere around here. ERIC MHE: Well, you see about that...AHHHH! ERIC MHE went RUNNING out the WINDOW! RSACi went away! Now it's just you and me, Chargon! Time for...THE ACTUAL BATTLE! Pencils, go! ONE PENCIL came out! Dammit, Jess! Why aren't you ever around when I need you? JESS MPR is still FALLING from SPIRIT REALM! JESS MPR: Yes! I finally beat this stupid Mario game! SIR CHARGON attacked! SIR CHARGON used SLASH! Critical hit! Owww...I'm in pain again...and no more of Eric's beautiful face to soothe the pain... SIR CHARGON: Beautiful face...psssh. I've seen better faces on a mule. ::seething:: What...did...you...say...about ERIC?? SIR CHARGON: Um...his eyes are better than a jewel? YOU LIIIIE! PLASTIC SURGEONS, GO! SIR CHARGON: Ahhhh! Not my beautiful face! PLASTIC SURGEONS began CUTTING at SIR CHARGON's FACE! OPERATION was CENSORED! SIR CHARGON's FACE came out! |
| You look MARVELOUS, darling, simply, MARVELOUS! SIR CHARGON: Ahhh! I'm a freak! SIR CHARGON ran away! DACTA MPR... Just say it, Narrator. You can't resist. ...lost against KELLY MHE! Son of a B***H! RSACi appeared! RSACi dragged DACTA MPR away! Battle fizzled OUT! |
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