| Battle #4 Touched by an Emmy Player: Director Location: TV Taping Set Author: Dacta MONICA: I am an angel. Cut, cut! TAPING used CUT! MONICA pulled out SMOKE! MONICA: Yeah, yeah, what's the belly-aching? Get rid of the Irish accent. We all know you're from South Carolina. MONICA dropped CHEESYIRISHACCENT! Uh..can't you stop smoking? I mean, you do all those anti-smoking ads. MONICA: Hey. They pay well. ANDREW appeared! ANDREW: Why'd we stop? Monica didn't stress the "am" enough. MONICA: Screw the "am!" RAPIST appeared! RAPIST ranaway with AM! Damn! "I an angel?" Well...hopefully the audience will think it's the Irish accent. Aaaand action! MONICA: I an angel. BARTENDER: No way! And the fat woman too? Cut, cut! TAPING used CUT! That is not in the script. BARTENDER: Sure it is! BARTENDER handed DIRECTOR the SCRIPT! Hmmm..."Noway, and the fat woman too?"....who the hell wrote this piece of crap?! SCRIPT was WRITTEN by TREELOVER! Must be a newbie, oh well. Aaaand action! ANDREW enters! ANDREW: Yes. And you're going to die. BARTENDER: Damn! I just wish the angel of death didn't look like a hippie! Cut, cut! TAPING used CUT! Andrew, put on this black robe and take this sickle. ANDREW: But this is one of those pick-me-up shows! Hey. It's PAX TV. ANDREW: Point taken. And while you're at it, cut your hair with the sickle. ANDREW: ?! But haven't you learned anything from Felicity? DIRECTOR gave ANDREW the EYE! ANDREW used CUT! RATINGS fells DRASTICALLY! They were bad to begin with. TWO MONTHS LATER And I'd like to accept this Emmy- JESUS CHRIST appeared! JESUS CHRIST: All right, all right, world's just ending, nothing to see here, everyone out... B-but what about my acceptance speech? JESUS CHRIST: Give it to the Antichrist over there. JESUS CHRIST pointed to GEORGE BUSH! GEORGE BUSH: Ok, so I'm just the cause of all evil. Is that a bad thing? VOTE BUSH. Hey! I'm TRYING to recieve an Emmy here! EVERYONE left! *snif* I guess I'll just watch Bushy boy and the Lamb of God square off. JESUS CHRIST wants to fight! GEORGE BUSH wants to fight! REFEREE declares INSANT WINNER for JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST: Someone's been reading their Revelations. This will mark well... REF blushes! JESUS CHRIST won against GEORGE BUSH! GEORGE BUSH was CONDEMNED to his ROOM! AKA HELL! GEORGE BUSH: Oh well! What about me? WASN'T the EMMY enough? What about a place in heaven? JESUS CHRIST thinks! JESUS CHRIST: Naw! DIRECTO was left on DESOLETE PLANET! .......................... .......................... QUEEN appeared! Nowhere to run! Nooo! DIRECTOR commited SUICIDE! QUEEN wins! QUEEN: Damn. That felt like a sale. |