Battle #7: Who Shot J.R.?
Player Name: Luke Skywalker
Setting:
Somewhere in California

DARKLUKE arrived at STUDIO!
According to the memo at Poke Battles HQ, this is where the final fanfic is being filmed.  Hey, there's Jason now!
JASON ROSS appeared!
Hi boss!  I'm back, and I'm ready to perform!  It's too bad this is our last time doing this, but I want you to know there's no Webmaster I'd rather--
JASON ROSS: Huh?  Who are you?
I... I'm Darkluke, you're character.  I figured that since--
JASON ROSS: Darkluke?  Who the... oh wait, now I remember.  You're the hack I fired after Battle #38, right?
What?  No!  I'm an important person in the Poke Battles Universe!  You were just keeping me on hold for awhile so I could make a big comeback in the final fanfic... right?
JASON ROSS: Security!
LARGE THUG appeared!

Ha, I'm a amaster of the Dark Side!  You can't bully me around with this dullard!
JASON ROSS:  Hmm... yeah, I guess you're right.
JASON ROSS snapped his FINGERS!
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
JASON ROSS: Escort Mr. Skywalker out, would you?

You still can't get rid of me that easily!  I want to fight!
DARKLUKE was instantly DEV--
AAAHHH okay I forfeit!!
DARKLUKE lost to RED DOOMPUFF!
DARKLUKE was KICKED OUT of STUDIO!

This is outrageous!  To think that a brilliant performer such as myself would be pushed around, almost killed by some ugly, monstrous...
RED DOOMPUFF is still standing right next to DARKLUKE!
Well NARRATOR could have told DARKLUKE that a few seconds EARLIER!
Got away safely!
Phew!  Now, to handle this little situation.  R2, fetch my telephone!
R2-D2 is not around!
Oh, right...I forgot, him and C-3PO wet to Hawaii to get one of those "special" marriages...guess I'll get it myself.
DARKLUKE used TELEPHONE!
DARTH VADER picked up on the OTHER END!
DARTH: Hello?

WAASSSSAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
DARTH: WAASSSSAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Listen, we've got trouble.  Round up the Union and head down to the studio.  We're going to tell Jason what we think about this so-called "Final Fanfic."
DARTH: Sure, I'll be right... hey, why am I taking orders from you?
Just shut up and do it!!
DARKLUKE hung up TELEPHONE!
Later, at the STUDIO...

Here they come!
DARTH VADER, STORM DRAIN, CHESSBOARD, and PC appeared!
UNION OF HAS-BEEN RED VERSION CHARACTERS has ASSEMBLED!

Hey Ross, c'mere!
JASON ROSS appeared!
We're going on strike until you put us in the fanfic!  So what do you think avout that?
STORM DRAIN: Y'know, this idea sounded alot better on paper.  Doesn't anything about this plan seem kinda, I dunno, odd?
You mean the fact that we're not working to begin with, and thus can't go on strike?
STORM DRAIN: Woah, that's a good point.  I was just gonna say we forgot to ask for a benefits package...
JASON ROSS: *sigh*, and people wonder why I want to close Red Version...

Enough of this nonsense!  Are we in the fanfic, or not?
JASON ROSS: Let me give you my answer in as few words as possible.
JASON ROSS wants to fight!

So, it's the way of the sword, eh?  Then I've got one up on you!
Go!  LIGHTSABRE!
What say you to that, Almighty Webmaster?
JASON ROSS sent out EVOLUMAN, BETO CHAVEZ, IMMORTUS, NERRA-TORR, JAMES, LSLOTH, EMPEROR SLOTH, DOOMPUFF, and RED DOOMPUFF!
A formidable force...except for James, that is... but luckily I planned for this contingency.
DARKLUKE used HIDDEN COMMUNICATOR!
I created a sub-division of the Union of Has-Been Red Version Characters...the Union of Has-Been Doompuff Spinoffs!
WALL collapsed!
UNION OF HAS-BEEN DOOMPUFF SPINOFFS entered through COLLAPSED WALL!

Epic BATTLE which I'm too lazy to WRITE ensues!
JASON ROSS lost to the UNION OF HAS-BEEN DOOMPUFF SPINOFFS!

Yes!  Ha ha ha!  Now, Jason, I believe we have some demands to be met...
JASON ROSS grudgingly accepts!
FANFIC begins!

JASON ROSS: Okay, Chessboard, you and PC are on the raft.  You ask him where Nightpuff is...and...action!
CHESSBOARD: ...
PC: ...
CHESSBOARD: !!!
PC: ?
CHESSBOARD: !
PC: !!!

Wow!  Great!  I really felt the emotion that time!  What do you think?
JASON ROSS: Now i remember why I fired these guys in the first place.
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