| Fan Battle #3: A Show Tonight (On Trampoline) Player Name: Kite Setting: Cinnabar Version By MrKite15 DACTA: ...what the hell are you doing here? I thought I'd write a fan battle for you guys. CK: And what, praytell, makes you think we need a fanbattle? I looked over your last few battles and thought you could use some decent writing. CK: I've seen better writing than yours on a bathroom wall. Me too, apparently Dacta gives great... DACTA: THAT'S JUST A RUMOR! Oh... too bad really, I wonder who wrote that. Setting: Bathroom JASON: hahahaha! I shall have my revenge! Setting: you know... Now, look, I know how this works, who's first? DACTA: What? KITE gets to his KNEES! ...I really hate this part of it, but who's first? CK: ...we... don't do it that way here, Kite. Funny, that's how I got into Aqua Version... oh well, what can I do to let you guys let me write a battle? CK: I'm sorry, like I said, fanbattles suck. ...$^!^!# DACTA: What the hell is that? Umn, I censored myself. DACTA: Oh, fuck that. ...f...f...these are new words to me... CK: You really should get out of the house more often. ...what? You mean the place with that big burning ball of gas that is all warm with no central air? CK: Yeah, go, please, get a life Kite. You need one. Can you buy one of those at radio shack? CK: You're hopeless. DACTA: No... wait, I think I can help... 5 minutes and a pint of vaseline later... These pipes are clean! DACTA: I hope I never have to do that again, ick. So, what do I do, leave a $20 on the table? DACTA: Do I LOOK like a hooker?! That was free?! SWEET! DACTA: I really should rethink this... I see a whole new world... of porn shops and big guns and... CK: Atta boy, Kite. You may have hope yet. You'll still suck, but... Right. Oh, and Mike, I'm sorry about your mom. CK: Mother jokes suck. ...god damnit work with me here>< CK: Just what the hell is a ><? It's... an anime statement. For anger. CK: Oh, right, that sucks too. Anime... sucks? CK: Yes, cartoons suck big time. But... it's not a cartoon. CK smacks KITE around! CK: Now, who's your daddy? ...you are, sir. CK: Do you talk back to your daddy? ...no sir... CK: That's what I thought. Good, well about a ba- CK: Did I tell you to talk? No sir. CK: That's what I thought, now bow down, bitch. KITE bows! CK: ...you know, I really could get used to this. Wait, why the hell am I being subservient? CK: Because... you're too much of a wimp to put up a fight? ...damn, you're right. CK: Now go fetch me a beer, or I'll kick your ass again. Yes sir. KITE ran away! DACTA: Don't you think you're being a bit harsh on Kite? CK: Harsh would be breaking out the gimp on him like we did when Robby tried to send in a fan battle... and you saw what that did to him. DACTA: Oh. KITE returns! Here you are, master. CK: What the hell?! Miller Light?! This isn't beer, you asshole! CK beans KITE with BEER CAN! CK: Now get me something worth a damn or I'll put you where I put DoubleD. ...shit... yes sir! KITE ran away! CK: God damn he sucks as a lackey. Do we have anything we can send out to hurt him? DACTA: Oh, wait, I have an idea. KITE returns! I brought Guinness, is that better? CK: Better, but we still have to punish him, send it out Dacta. DACTA sent out BISHOUNEN BRIGADE! Touji, Tamahome, Ferio, Kuja, Kamui, Inuyasha... I'm surrounded by girly men. CK: Do we really need all of them to kick his ass? DACTA: ...good point. DACTA returned ALL BUT TOUJI! ...alright then... he looks harmless... TOUJI pulled DEATH JAVELIN out of CHEST! ...oh shit. TOUJI tossed DEATH JAVELIN! DEATH JAVELIN hit CK! ...umn, you alright man? CK: Nothing too bad. How about I treat you to a Mike's Hard Lemonade? DACTA: I saw that one coming. Oh well, let's go. Wahoo, I even got the patented Cinnabar battle fizzle out down! CK: Oh... can't have you living to produce an actual battle, can we? CK shoots KITE! KITE died! DACTA: Hn, too bad, I kinda liked him too, oh well. CK recieves KITE's WALLET! CK: Damn broke ass doesn't even have anything in here, oh well, let's go tell everyone the good news. DACTA: Alright. |