Dark Version Tournament

Tournament #1 Battle #0: Could anything else go wrong? 2000e 0% Players: Garrett the Holy [Record: 5-2-2] Last Battle: Win thru forfiet vs. Narrator (Battle #9) Webmaster [Record: 0-0-0] Last Battle: No participation (Battle #10) Ooh... I get a fancy silver type. Yes, Garrett, you must feel proud. So, I'm in an interview with the almighty Webmaster, correct? Yes, Garrett. So... do you think you could have chosen a more inconvenient time for a Tournament? Well, Garrett... I wasn't expecting such a question, but yes, you're right. Shouldn't there be a narrator talking during this interview? Well... I had to download a Tournament upgrade for the computer narrator... So, in this Tournament, there won't be any fancy move alters, jokes or anything like that? Unfortunately, yes. Isn't that kind of defeating the purpose? You're starting to irritate me. Oh... Okay. But... couldn't you narrate yourself? ... If there was narration here it would be telling you about the very evil look I'm giving Garrett right now. Ah... point taken. It would also be telling you about how nervous he's getting, how he's sweating profusely and... Yes, yes, we get the picture. Well... couldn't you have waited until later? I made a promise that there would be a Tournament every ten battles. I'm not backing out. Still, you could have waited for a new narrator so we'd have a proper battle... Actually, Garrett, I must admit there's another problem... Now, if there was narration here then it'd be telling you about how nervous the narrator is getting, and... You shouldn't try to anger me, Garrett the Holy. Right. So... what's this other problem? Well, quite frankly we don't have enough players to have a proper tournament... WHAT? To qualify for the first tournament all you have to do is actually win a match. But we only have two people available who meet that condition: You, and Jessie from Team Rocket. I'm sure there's more than that... let me see... ... In case you're wondering, he's looking up the records. ... The Editor has won two battles! Yes, but, he's currently floating in the void between the versions... Well, you could bring him back for just this match and banish him back there afterwards... Hmm... I guess so. There's still one position left standing. Who'll take that, do you think? Well, it just so happens I've called up someone... Who would that be? Well, I was wondering how to put him into the battles, and couldn't work out how, but... Yes, yes, who is it? Garrett the Holy, meet Deven the MHE. A Mental Hospital Escapee? Isn't that just slightly copying Aqua version? Oh... Eric's nothing compared to this guy... What? Eric's just weird. This guy's more closely related to Doompuff... What? gulp Oh, and one more thing... to participate in the Tournament, he'll need to win a battle... What? Will you stop saying 'what?' like an idiot? OK, Deven, sic 'im. Err... nice MHE... Ah, at last, that upgrade has finished downloading. I'm letting Deven in and leaving, OK? The narrator can handle it from here. I guess I'd better fight him. Go sword! There's no will to fight! What? Hey, you Webmaster! Let me fight! I'm going to win this battle, Garrett. Oh... Deven... you don't sound so insane... DEVEN is advancing! Say your prayers, Garrett... Hehehe... I'm sure we can talk this over... HOLYGARY is RETREATING! Nyahahahaha... DEVEN used INSANE LAUGH! It's super effective! HOLYGARY ran away scared! DEVEN wins!
Tournament #1 Battle #1: 0% Players: Garrett the Holy [Record: 5-3-2] Last Battle: Loss thru forfiet vs. Deven (T1 Battle #0) Jessie [Record: 2-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Narrator (Battle #10) HOLYGARY, please enter the arena! Yes! Hello everyone! I'm Garrett the Holy, hero of Dark Version! AUDIENCE uses SILENCE! It's super effective! HOLYGARY's confidence greatly fell! What happened to the Narrator not making any jokes? WEBMASTER upgraded NARRATOR! Oh. So it's learnt a few jokes. TRJESSIE, please enter the arena! Yes! I am Jessie, mistress of style of Team Rocket! We own Dark Version! CROWD used WILDCHEER! HOLYGARY's confidence greatly fell! That's not fair... Tsk tsk, Gary-boy. You'll never win a fight with such low confidence! How come everyone cheers for her? She's a loser! CROWD is almost completely composed of TEAM ROCKET AGENTS! Grr... Well, let's see you fight! I beat you last time hands down... JESSIE wants to fight! Well, I've been doing some study since our last matchup... What? Send out your pokemon! HOLYGARY wants to fight! Alright, Arbok, attack! I choose... Sword! ARBOK, go! RUSTSWORD, go! I must remember to clean that thing... Arbok, acid! ARBOK used ACID! RUST was eaten away by the ACID! What? RUSTSWORD is evolving! RUSTSWORD evolved into SWORD! Thanks! You've just saved me a lot of work! Are you sure that's a computer narrator? NARRATOR is just pointing out the facts! If the facts should be funny, that is an added bonus! Whoa, that must have been quite an update... it can even defend itself now! Alright, sword, Crushing Blow! SWORD used CRUSHING BLOW! ARBOK is CRUSHED! It may not attack! No... Arbok return... Hahaha... I think I work better with this new narrator... Well, let's see if you can face Likitung! Oh no... Don't rust up my sword again, please... Likitung... Slobber! LIKITUNG used SLOBBER! It's super effective! What? SWORD is DEVOLVING! SWORD devolved into RUSTSWORD! No... Why must you do this to my sword? That does it. Sword, time for the plan we prepared earlier. RUSTSWORD used CUT! Whoa, Likitung dodge it! LIKITUNG used DODGE! It had no effect! What? RUSTSWORD used CUT... ... on TRJESSIE! SWORD gave TRJESSIE a HAIRCUT! It's super TERRIBLE! My... Hair... Hahaha... I did some research and realised you couldn't stand having your style damaged in any way... You... ruined... my beautiful hair... THAT'S IT! TRJESSIE wants to DESTROY! DIE! Whoa... TRJESSIE used FANWHACKER! Deflect it! RUSTSWORD deflected blow! TRJESSIE wants to KILL! TRJESSIE used SCRATCH! It didn't affect HOLYGARY! You can't scratch me... I'm in full battle armour! JESSIE wants to MAIM! What is she, a Doompuff? JESSIE used SEISMIC TOSS! It's super effective! HOLYGARY is BLASTING off again! HOLYGARY has left the arena! JESSIE wins!	...	Tournament #1 Battle #2: 0% Players: Some Unimportant Guy [Record: 2-2-2] Last Battle: Loss vs. NNA (Battle #9) Deven [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win thru forfeit vs. Garrett the Holy (T1 Battle #0) SUG, please enter the arena! What? What am I doing here? I'm not complaining or anything, but how did I get out of Limbo? You were summoned to fight in the tournament! So... I'm free? No! You'll be sent back straight after! Damn. DEVEN, please enter the arena! Are you ready to die, little man? Whoa... he's scary... Oh no! I just realised I don't have any attacks! Or any pokemon! DEVEN grins evilly! I'm going to enjoy ripping you apart piece by piece.Alright, Bulldog, eat him!.. Does this guy know how to use anything but death threats? DEVEN used INSANE LAUGH! This is going to be a massacre... And not to my advantage... Wait! I just remembered, I've still got that bag of pokemon trainers equipment that Oak gave me! I'm sure there's a pokemon in here... Alright, Bulldog, eat him! BULLDOG, go! SUG is looking for pokemon! Oh, cool! Oak must have been so happy he gave me all three starting pokem... BULLDOG used PEOPLEEATER while SUG wasn't looking! SUG has been EATEN! It may not attack! This narrator has a habit of understatement... HELP ME! SUG is fully digested! SUG died! WEBMASTER appeared! Well... that was a quick battle. Nyahahaha... too easy... I need someone else to kill... Hmm... I just realised, since that annoying editor's moved to Black Version, I can't send him back to the void between versions! The NNA isn't going to be happy about this... DEVEN wins!
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Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like an exciting matchup for the final of this tournament. With the mustard text, we see Deven, MHE and overall nasty person, whose powerful Bulldog devoured his last opponent without a second thought... And, with the Violet text, we find Jessie, who is currently in a nervous breakdown because of the awful haircut she was given by the sword of Garrett the Holy! As the trainers limber up and prepare for battle, I'm going to let you all in on a small secret. One of the Team Rocket Agents is giving Jessie a coaching, but she doesn't seem to be listening. So, the second plan they've cooked up is to use a Hypno to hypnotise her into thinking that it was Deven who had damaged her hair so. If this happens, this is going to be a bloodthirtsy fight to the death, no doubt about it! In fact, I've decided to commentate on it. Not narrate, but tell you what's going on. ... Well, there's not much time left until the battle starts, and Jessie hasn't shown any signs of improvement. So... Yes, they've brought out Hypno and put Jessie into a trance. A few seconds later, and she's woken up, and looking at Deven with pure, utter hatred. This is going to be a slaughter, people, on both sides. Both contenders appear ready. Let's rumble! You're going to die for this! I'd like to see that! Nyahaha! DEVEN wants to fight! JESSIE wants to KILL, MAIM and SLAUGHTER! Ooh, Jessie's even angrier than I expected. DIE! JESSIE used INSANE SLASHING! DEVEN used INSANE PUMMELLING! Amazing! Neither contender has bothered to call out a pokemon, but they've simply decided to try to try to rip each other to shreds! They're... well, I hate to borrow a line from that cheesy Stadium Narrator, but neither of them are conceding an inch! JESSIE used ANIME GROWTH! Oh, and Jessie has resorted to using the powers of the Pokemon anime to transform into her giant devil-like form! DEVEN used FOCUS FURY! Deven uses a similar attack, allowing him to match Jessie's huge power! JESSIE used ULTRA-THRASH! DEVEN used APOCALYPTIC FURY! Note that so far, ladies and gents, the contenders have yet to use a single existing attack! Forces collided! What will happen next? Forces dissapated! What? Anger dissapated! It seems... that all the power and urge to destroy has been drawn out of the fighters! JESSIE doesn't want to fight! DEVEN doesn't want to fight! What has happened? The battle looked so promising! Say, Deven, you're a good fighter, and downright evil to boot. Wanna make something of it? DEVEN might want to fight! There might be some hope for this battle yet... Would you like to join Team Rocket? We could use someone like you... And I need a new partner... What's in it for me? You get paid for stealing pokemon and destroying things. I like it. I'm in. I... I don't beleive it! They've actually allied! What a huge twist in the battle! And what a bummer for me! I wanted a battle to the death! This isn't going to look good in my score at the Network! Battle ended in a draw!