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The empire of John the Lab Guy/Evil Tyrant begins building in
these battles. Superguy also attempts to thwart a couple of evil plans, but
he’s not very successful. Check out these milestones.
Battle #16:
Superguy to the Rescue! May 1, 2000
Setting: Game 15% / Reality 85% / Anime 0%
Player:
Superguy [0-0-0]
Okay, ready! Let’s shoot!
CAMERAMAN begins taping!
*Ahem* I, Superguy, are here to rescue you, fair ma-
DIRECTOR: CUT!
DIRECTOR points out that that’s incorrect GRAMMAR!
Even MSWORD picked it up!
Wow! Word picked it up? I guess there’s wavy green underlines on it
then.
Okay, again.
*Ahem* I, Superguy, is here to res-
DIRECTOR says CUT!
DIRECTOR says MSWORD picked that up too!
Yeah? Why does Word care anyhow?
BILL GATES appeared!
BILL GATES is angry!
BILL GATES wants to fight!
Okay! Go, utility belt thingy!
Go, UTILITYTHING!
Hah! A rich old bum shouldn’t be so hard!
BILL GATES is insulted!
BILL GATES sent out BILLIONS!
What? Billions of dollars?
No! BILLIONS of BODYGUARDS!
Uhhh-ohhh…
BILLIONS used GUNFIRE!
It’s super effective!
UTILITYTHING received extra damage do to weakness!
Oh shoot! We have to listen to the Pokémon TCG GB narrator?
The trainer hasn’t given an order! What’s the matter, trainer?
Ahhh!! The Pokémon stadium narration is here too?!
SUPERGUY is losing TURN!
No! No, please! Belt, use, um, grappling hook!
UTILITYTHING used GRAPPLE!
BILLIONS are fully GRAPPLED!
It isn’t very effective…
BILLIONS used BILLION-CALL!
Search your deck for BILLIONS!
Sheesh, the new narrator is annoying!
BILLIONS were added to the bench!
What? BILLIONS are evolving!
BILLIONS evolved into TRILLIONS!
Oh no!
TRILLIONS used GUNFIRE-X2!
UTILITYTHING fainted!
Hmm! Go... (What other Pokémon do I have?) Go, um…
Go, SUPERGUY!
Aiee!!! No!
TRILLIONS used GUNFIRE-X2!
SUPERGUY fainted!
BILL GATES wins!
Battle #17:
Loch Ness Catastrophe
May 2, 2000
Setting: Game 20% / Reality 80% / Anime 0%
Player: John the
Lab Guy [0-0-0]
Heh heh heh! Now I
can finally see the loch ness monster!
SCIENCEJOHN peers
through TELESCOPE!
This telescope is
the best kind! Silph Co makes it!
I see something!
Wild LOCHNESS appeared!
Wow!!!!!!!
LOCHNESS is coming
closer!
Eh, that’s a
little close!
LOCHNESS knows
where you live!
Huh?
LOCHNESS will find
you!
This is getting
scary…
LOCHNESS wants to
fight!
Ahhhh!!!!!!
LOCHNESS is tired
of being mistreated and neglected and blah blah blah…
Hey, uh…
SCIENCEJOHN
interrupts MONOLOGUE!
LOCHNESS is
enraged!
Uh… S-sorry, Mr.
N-nice perfect b-beautiful Loch N-ness monster sir…
LOCHNESS is
disgusted by your IGNORANCE!
Now wait a moment!
I graduated from MIT with honors, a PhD., and a doctorate degree and-
LOCHNESS says you
called it MISTER!
Y-yes?
EVERYBODY knows
LOCHNESS is a not a HE!
Oh.
LOCHNESS says you
must be punished!
Uh…
LOCHNESS removed
MASK!
LOCHNESS is really
DRAGONITE!
AHHHHHH!!!!!!
DRAGONITE used
HYPER BEAM!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
SCIENCEJOHN is
running away!
DRAGONITE’S attack
mi-
Whew!!!!
Oops! I mean…
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCIENCEJOHN ran!
Battle #18:
Crushing Power May 2, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: John the
Lab Guy [0-0-1]
SCIENCEJOHN is
RUNNING!
Yeah… I’ve been….
Running… For the past… Six hours…
NARRATOR says
that’s short, considering PREDICAMENTS of OTHERS!
Yeah well… It
isn’t to a self-respecting… But quite smart… Lab guy…
I… Can’t take… The
exertion…
If SCIENCEJOHN
doesn’t stop his SELF-PITY, he will DIE!
Yeah… Right…
DRAGONITE appeared!
AHHHHHH!! (Wow, I
really go ballistic whenever that monster appears!)
Enemy DRAGONITE
wants to fight!
Eh? Can w-we be
f-friends?
Enemy DRAGONITE
considers!
SCIENCEJOHN is
sneaking around his back!
SCIENCEJOHN used
PULL!
SCIENCEJOHN pulled
DRAGONITE’S TAIL!
Enemy DRAGONITE is
enraged!
Here, try this!
SCIENCEJOHN used
CONCOCTION on DRAGONITE!
DRAGONITE was
poisoned!
This slow acting
poison is called Freezius Nervius, first discovered by T. B. Stake, in
1923….
DRAGONITE can’t
stand it!
DRAGONITE’S
tolerance force is running out!
Therefore, when
the cell bio-deduction process gets to step three, the decibel value is over
500,000,000….
DRAGONITE’S ears
are SHATTERING!
The atoms are such
that if your spinal cord reacts to the atomic shields, you DIE!!!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
What? SCIENCEJOHN
is evolving!
SCIENCEJOHN evolved
into MADSCIENTIST!
I WILL TAKE OVER THE
WORLD! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DRAGONITE fainted!
MADSCIENTIST wins!
Battle #19:
Maniacal Plots May 6, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player:
Superguy [0-1-0]
Ahh… This is the
life…
It really pays to
be an actor.
SPEAKER is BUZZING!
Huh? I thought
that was just a prop!
SPEAKER: Superguy!
You must save us from John the Mad Scientist!
I think you have
the wrong number… I’m not really a superhero. I just play one on TV.
SPEAKER: Save us,
Superguy!
SPEAKER fainted!
Uh oh.
MADSCIENTIST
appeared!
HENCHMAN appeared!
Yikes!
MADSCIENTIST says
he will take over the world!
MADSCIENTIST
gestures to HENCHMAN!
HENCHMAN mumbles!
I guess it’s time
to try to be a hero…
CORNY MUSIC plays!
Hey! That ruined
the effect!
NARRATOR doesn’t
care!
Yeah well, okay. I
don’t wanna make this a silly narrator battle…
MADSCIENTIST is
impatient!
Oh yeah? Go,
utility thing!
Go, UTILITYTHING!
MADSCIENTIST sent
out FRANKENSTEIN!
AHHH!!
FRANKENSTEIN used
FEARSTRIKE!
FEAR was STRUCK!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
SUPERGUY is YELLING
loudly!
What’s the matter,
trainer?
FRANKENSTEIN’S
attack continues!
UTILITYTHING
flinched!
B-b-b-b-ah-ah-y-y-y-mm-mm-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
MADSCIENTIST
cackles!
DIRECTOR: Cut!!
DIRECTOR says this
is messed up!
MADSCIENTIST
cackles!
FRANKENSTEIN used
STOMP!
DIRECTOR fainted!
He j-just doesn’t
g-get it… Dumb o-old d-director…
FRANKENSTEIN used STOMP!
SUPERGUY fainted!
MADSCIENTIST took
over!
What? MADSCIENTIST
is evolving!
MADSCIENTIST
evolved into EVILTYRANT!
EVILTYRANT wins!
HENCHMAN wins!
HENCHMAN whoops!
EVILTYRANT:
Shaddap!
Battle #20:
Battle of Wits May
10, 2000
Setting: Game 5% / Reality 95% / Anime 0%
Player: Scientific
Genius [0-0-0]
Oh no… This
formula doesn’t have a proper conductive mechanism…
Hmm… My theory
isn’t proving too well…
HENCHMAN appeared!
Who… What’s that
voice?
HENCHMAN mumbles
about flying pigs!
Flying pigs… A
disturbing idea…
HENCHMAN: Not
flying pigs! Evil tyrants!
I fail to see how
those sound similar…
EVILTYRANT
appeared!
Quite frightening…
Who are you?
EVILTYRANT is here
to KIDNAP you!
You won’t get me…
EVILTYRANT will get
you!
We’ll se… Go get
him, my servant…
Go, FUMING
CREATION!
EVILTYRANT is still
calm!
My dear servant,
show him your power…
EVILTYRANT sent out
FRANKENSTEIN!
Puny robot… My
creation, loom over that impudent whelp…
FUMING CREATION
used LOOM!
FUMING CREATION is
LOOMING over FRANKENSTEIN!
FUMING CREATION
made a TOWEL!
No… My servant,
you have misunderstood…
FUMING CREATION
used MISUNDERSTAND!
Critical hit!
It’s super
effective!
One-hit KO!
FRANKENSTEIN
fainted!
That one hit KO
attack interests me… Good job, my servant…
FUMING CREATION is
confused!
It hurt itself in
its confusion!
How dare you…
I will handle
this…
Go, GENIUS!
EVILTYRANT sent out
EVILTYRANT!
It is now the
battle of the mind…
EVILTYRANT used
THINK!
EVILTYRANT is
THINKING!
EVILTYRANT invented
DOOHICKEY!
Hmm…
GENIUS used FIGURE!
GENIUS is FIGURING!
GENIUS invented
THINGAMAJIGGY!
Mine has four more
letters… In your face…
EVILTYRANT invented
WHOOSEYWHUNKLE!
One more letter…
Pah…
GENIUS invented
WHATCHAMACALLIT!
EVILTYRANT invented
WHATCHAHMAJIGGER!
Pant… Pant…
GENIUS invented
THINGYAMAHOOOOZLE!
EVILTYRANT invented
WHATCHAAMAAHCALLIT!
GENIUS is
exhausted!
EVILTYRANT is
exhausted!
Whoa…
EVILTYRANT conjured
up ROBO-WARRIOR!
ROBO-WARRIOR used
KABOOM!
KAAAAAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
GENIUS fainted!
EVILTYRANT wins!
EVILTYRANT is
victorious!
EVILTYRANT won GENIUS!