POKé BATTLES
Emerald Version

 

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This archive has battles 1 through 5 included. These battles mark the debut of Sean the Exterminator, the most popular character yet. They also feature Da Bullfighting Man, and Bob “That Guy” Smith in their Emerald debut. Be sure to read these classic battles.

 

Battle #1: Bug Killin' April 6, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 90% / Anime 10%
Player: Sean the Exterminator  [0-0-0]

Dum-dum-de-dum…
Where is that stupid insect?!
Wild ROACH appeared!
Finally, I can get the bug and clear out.
Come to daddy, antie!
ROACH is not an ANT!
SEAN is not ROACH's NIECE!
SEAN is definitely not ROACH's DAD!
Fine then, you fool bug!
SEAN is angry!
You bet I am!
SEAN wants to fight!
Yeah yeah, I wanna fight--whatever.
All right--I choose you! Poison Gas!
ASH appeared!
ASH said that was his line!
Well Sah-ree!
SEAN used SAH-REE!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
ASH fainted!
Ok, now on with the battle.
Go! POISON GAS!
ROACH sent out ROACH!
Poison Gas! Use your spray-spritz attack!
POISON GAS used SPRAY-SPRITZ!
But it failed!
What the hey?!
POISON GAS is out of GAS!
Oh! Why didn't you say so?
Because POISON GAS cannot talk!
Ok, Here's some.
SEAN used GAS REFILL on POISON GAS!
POISON GAS recovered a zillion GP!
GP?
GAS POINTS!
Oh. Your turn, insect.
ROACH is ANGRY!
ROACH used ATTACK!
POISON GAS fainted!
Uh oh! Ok, um... er… I'm outta Pokémon!
Go! SEAN!
No! Not me!!!!
ROACH's RAGE is building!
ROACH used EEW!
SEAN is fully EEWED!
EEEEWWWW!!!
ROACH used TICKLE!
SEAN is fully tickled!
Hee he haw ha heh ha hu!! NOO!!!
SEAN made a hole in FLOOR!
SEAN is falling!
FLOOR is angry!
FLOOR wants to fight!
SEAN used FALL!
FLOOR fainted!
Whew! What a strange battle!
SEAN used REMARK!
ROACH fainted!
Holy Ka-moli! I won!!

 

Battle #2: Squash that Fly! April 6, 2000
Setting: Game 15% / Reality 85% / Anime 0%
Player: Sean the Exterminator  [1-0-0]

 

I hate this job!

All I do is loaf around trying to kill bugs!

SEAN is loafing around!

FLY appeared!

SEAN didn't notice!

FLY is buzzing for attention!

Maybe I'll quit the exterminator business and be a politician and.…

FLY is angry!

FLY wants to fight!

SEAN snaps out of DAYDREAM!

Huh?? Oh, the bug I havta get! Go, Poison Gas!

Get'm, POISON GAS!

FLY sent out FLY!

Why is it that all the insects in Poké Battles have no Pokémon beside themselves?

FLY has no idea!

FLY is confused!

It hurt itself in its confusion!

Yes!

Poison Gas, fire at will!

POISON GAS used FIRE!

WILL: Ouch!

WILL fainted!

That's not exactly what I meant...

FLY got BURNED!

What? FLY is evolving?

What the hey?!

FLY evolved in FIREFLY!

How... Oh. I said FIRE. I didn't mean flames...

That's very lame.

BUG CATCHER appeared!

BUG CATCHER says this will complete his collection!

Good! Get the filthy fly!

Return, Poison Gas!

POISON GAS, enough! Go! SEAN!

Hey! I didn't send out myself!

BUG CATCHER used POKéBALL!

Bug Catcher! Bug Catcher! Rah rah rah!

Press A rapidly to escape!

Rah rah...huh? Me?

You were caught!

AHHHHHHHHHH!

I thought you were a BUG catcher, not a GUY catcher!

BUG CATCHER takes off MASK!

BUG CATCHER is really MAN CATCHER!

EVOLUMAN appeared!

EVOLUMAN: I'm da only man around here!

BUG CATCHER used MASTER BALL!

DA EVOLUTION MAN was caught!

MAN CATCHER cackles!

SEAN is ANGRY!

To be continued...

 

Battle #3: Nice Doggie… April 6, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Bob “That Guy” Smith  [0-0-0]

 

Hey Rover, let's go for a walk!

ROVER shakes his head!

C'mon boy, just a nice little walk outside!

ROVER says NO!

Rover... Outside now!

ROVER is enraged!

ROVER wants to fight!

Now now, Rover, just put on this nice leash...

Get'm, LEASH!

ROVER sent out ROVER!

Just get right in...

LEASH used GETRIGHTIN!

LEASH’s attack missed!

ROVER used BITE!

LEASH fainted!

Oh no… Now I have to get the mutt myself!

The enemy’s barking like an enraged dog! Ge-

HE IS AN ENRAGED DOG YOU DUMB NARRATOR!!!!

-t'm, BOB!

Please, Rover, listen for once!!

ROVER won't LISTEN FOR ONCE!

<Moan...>

ROVER used POOP!

THE FLOOR is fully POOPED!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! ROVER! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MRS. SMITH appeared!

MRS. SMITH inspects THE FLOOR!

MRS. SMITH is angry!

MRS. SMITH says you RUINED THE FLOOR!

FLOOR is angry!

FLOOR insists it isn't RUINED!

MRS. SMITH used VACUUM!

FLOOR fainted!

POOP was destroyed!

MRS. SMITH's rage is building!

Please sweetheart, please...

MRS. SMITH's rage is building!

Honey, you've got to understand!

MRS. SMITH doesn't UNDERSTAND!

Critical hit!

It's super effective!

BOB fainted!

Use next Pokémon?

 

Battle #4: Escape!! April 7, 2000
Setting: Game 100 % / Reality 0% / Anime 0%
Player: Man Catcher  [1-0-0]

 

GIRL CATCHER wants to fight!

You’re gonna die, sis!

GIRL CATCHER sent out TRAINER!

TRAINER sent out BUTTERFREE!

Ooh! A bug type! I have just the guy for that!

Go get her, Sean!

Get’m, SEAN!

SEAN sent out POISON GAS!

POISON GAS used SPRAY-SPRITZ!

Yes! That’ll get ‘em!

At you!

You traitor!

MAN CATCHER fainted!

SEAN escaped!

EVOLUMAN escaped!

Use next Pokémon?

Go, DR. DOCTOR!

DR. DOCTOR used REVIVE on MAN CATCHER!

MAN CATCHER was revived!

Thanks, Doc. Return.

DR. DOCTOR, return! 

I didn’t know that the Pokémon game could say that!

It can’t!

Ah.

SEAN is no longer in your party!

EVOLUMAN is no longer in your party!

Shoot!

I shall get my revenge!

BATTLE ended on CLIFFHANGER!

 

Battle #5: Bullfight! April 7, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Da Bullfighting Man  [0-0-0]

 

Torro! Torro!

BULLMAN is waving CLOTH!

BULL is angry!

BULL wants to fight!

Go, CLOTH!

BULL sent out HORNS!

Torro! Torro! Scared of the puny matador, bully-poo?

HORNS used PIERCE!

CLOTH fainted!

Use next Pokémon?

Yeah, I think I have an extra one in here someplace…

BULLMAN used RUMMAGE!

BULLMAN is RUMMAGING!

No... That’s not it… Um…

HORNS used PIERCE!

OW! OW! OW! OW!

Now you asked for it!

Get’m, SPARECLOTH!

Hey, “Sparecloth” almost rhymes with “Darksloth,” that evil emperor from the Red Version!

DARKSLOTH! © 2000 Red Version! Available now!

!!!!!

How did that trigger an ad?

Oh, forget it.

Torro! Torro!

BULL is enraged!

BULL used CHARGED!

BULL missed!

BULL kept going and crashed-

He he he…

-into STEEL WALL!

STEEL WALL: I hate my life…

BULL is dizzy!

BULL used DIZZY PUNCH!

No effect!

BULL fainted!

BULLMAN wins!

Hah hah! I rule!