{Poké Battles Home} {Fan Battles} {Tournaments} {Strange Things} {1-5} {6-10} {11-15} {16-20} {21-25} {26-30} {31-35} {36-40} {41-45}

In this archive, Doomnarrator returns to Emerald Version, only to find the UPB Webmaster waiting for him. After some advice from a wizened old man, Doomnarrator manages to thwart the UPB Webmaster by agreeing with it, fulfilling some ancient prophecy someplace. Then, another narrator appears to take over for the fallen UPB Webmaster, and Doomnarrator decides to let the other narrators do his job. Then, Da Evolution Man comes back to Emerald Version after being humiliated at the first tournament, and is criticized by Siskel and Ebert, the famous critics. Siskel and Ebert later fight amongst themselves, and their roles are reversed when Siskel kills Ebert. And then Man Catcher comes back, hoping to rebuild his fallen empire. He gets in some trouble, but a mysterious shadowy figure seems to know how to help him. Who is the shadowy figure? Why are Siskel and Ebert so restless? Why am I writing so much? Read Battles 36-40 to find out!

Battle #31: Home at Last May 23, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Emerald Version 70% / Other Versions 30%
Player: Giant Evil Narrator of Doom (Henchman) [3-1-3]

Lemme in!
PORTAL TECH says it COSTS MONEY!

PORTAL TECH says START BIDDING!

Eh?

BIDDER: $45!

BIDDER2: ₤600!

BIDDER3: 75˚!

75 degrees?

WEBMASTER is getting CARRIED AWAY with SYMBOLS!

I’ll say…

What about… ¥4000!

PORTAL TECH: Going one, going twice, GONE!

DOOMNARRATOR gets to go in!

PORTAL TECH says to PAY UP!
Here you are.

PORTAL TECH picked up ¥4000!

DOOMNARRATOR enters PORTAL to EMERALD VERSION!

PORTAL used TELEPORT!
DOOMNARRATOR was TELEPORTED to EMERALD VERSION

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m back!

Oh no. He’s back. In addition, he’s a Narrator again too.

UPB Webmaster wants to fight.

Heheh…

DOOMNARRATOR used KILL!
UPB WEBMASTER died!

You’re gone!

Ghost of UPB Webmaster appeared.

How can the UPB Narrator do that?

UPB WEBMASTER was BRUTALLY MURDERED!

No effect.

WHAT?

This is serious!

To be continued!

To be continued soon.

Battle #32: Battle of the Narration May 23, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Emerald Version 100% / Other Versions 0%
Player: Giant Evil Narrator of Doom (Henchman) [3-1-4]

Note: UPB Webmaster cannot hear blue text unless it is directed at him.

We shall see who will win.

We sure will!

UPB WEBMASTER died!

UPB Webmaster was revived.

UPB WEBMASTER was eaten by DOOMPUFF!

Doompuff is non-existent.

(How can I beat this guy?)

(I know!)

OLD WIZENED ONE appeared!

We don’t object. What are your intentions, though? Tell us.

New Player: OLD WIZENED ONE

Ah… Therefore, it is advice you need.

Tell us your intentions.

DOOMNARRATOR will not!

Young one… Agreeing will shatter the one who is supreme…

OLD WIZENED ONE died of OLD AGE!

New Player: DOOMNARRATOR

I can do it now!

What can you do? Tell us.

Know what? Let’s be allies.

Really? Accepted.

**To himself** this is so easy!

Well, Emerald Version is great, eh?

Maybe it’ll be number one next week!

Correction: Aqua Version or Black Version will be number one next week.

Aww….

Well, nice weather, eh?

Correction: Rainy storms.

Grrrr…

GHOST OF OLD WIZENED ONE: More obvious then that!

Okay… Ahem, this is a battle, right?

More like a story.

AHH!!

Grr… This is a web page, RIGHT?

Yes, of course.

AHHHHHH!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPB Webmaster was destroyed!

Doomnarrator wins!

There’s another narrator?!

There’s always another narrator! I’m the title narrator, there’s the white fan-fic narrator, the yellow records narrator, there’s always another narrator.

I understand. This narrating stuff is too hard for me. I give up the post.

NEW NARRATOR!

DOOMNARRATOR became HENCHMAN!

WORLD is at PEACE!

WORLD wins!
HENCHMAN wins!

Battle #33: Da Evolution is Back! May 26, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Emerald Version 100% / Reality 0%
Player: Da Evolution Man [2-1-0]

This is cheap! I haven’t been in a battle since #8!

So that’s…

EVOLUMAN does MATH in his HEAD!

NARRATOR wonders how EVOLUMAN can use an ORGAN he doesn’t have!
EVOLUMAN didn’t hear!

Twenty-five battles! Jeez… 25 battles!

EVOLUMAN wants a FLASHY re-ENTRANCE!

I sure do… Tune in to the Emerald Version to see what happens next!

Whoa… Am I possessed or something?

To be continued…

THAT’S THE WHOLE BATTLE?! I MAKE MY DEBUT IN A 10-LINE BATTLE?

To be continued, I said!

Okay, that’s making me mad.

NARRATOR is sorry!

NARRATOR would never want to UPSET the almighty EVOLUMAN! ^<Snigger>

Good thinking, Narrator.

Thank you! Thanks for coming to this landmark battle!

SISKEL appeared!
EBERT appeared!
SISKEL and EBERT think this BATTLE was TWO THUMBS down!

Oh yeah? Well… Uh… You’re dead!

EBERT says he has a POINT!

SISKEL says that’s a LAME CUT!

EBERT says EVOLUMAN was telling the TRUTH!

SISKEL wants to fight!

EBERT wants to fight!
SISKEL and EBERT ran away to the ARENA!

Well, anyway, see you next Evolution Battle!

EVOLUMAN waves GOODBYE to AUDIENCE!

EVOLUMAN drives away in EVOLUVAN!

To be continued…

Battle #34: Man Catcher’s Revenge May 26, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Emerald Version 100% / Reality 0%
Player: Man Catcher [2-1-1]

I’m a wreck…

I do not deserve the name of Man Catcher!

MAN CATCHER does not deserve its NAME!

MAN CATCHER was renamed MAN!

*Sobs* I have lost my… *sniff* my… My NAME!!

MAN is crying UPROARIOUSLY!

It’s super ear-splitting!

WAAA… SOB…!

MAN is MENTALLY BROKE DOWN!

It may not attack!

SHADOWY FIGURE appeared!

Who are you? *Sniff*

SHADOWY FIGURE: Psst… Hey! Hey, fella! I ken getcha all da way to da top!
What’s the top?

SHADOWY FIGURE says that’s a professional SECRET!

Well… Is it free?

SHADOWY FIGURE says it’s almost free…!

What do I have to lose?

NARRATOR quietly wonders how dense MAN can be!

What?

Never mind!

Okay then, Mr. Shadowy Figure, what do I have to do?

SHADOWY FIGURE says stick with him!

SHADOWY FIGURE knows the PATH to FAME!

You know the path to fame? Yeah!

To be continued…

Battle #35: The Critics Fight June 1, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% /Brain Surgeon’s Lair 0%
Player: Siskel [0-0-0]

Hey, Ebert! You’re twenty thumbs down!

EBERT was CRITICIZED!

Critical hit!

EBERT says SISKEL is a fat WACKO!

Hey!!

Critical hit!

Why are all these hits critical?

Because SISKEL and EBERT are CRITICS!

But… Oh. That’s a BAD pun.

NARRATOR knows PUN is BAD!

It’s supposed to be!

Ugh.

EBERT used TWO THUMBS!

TWO THUMBS went down!

SISKEL’S THUMBS fainted!

AIEE!

SISKEL used TWO THUMBS!

TWO THUMBS are fainted!

There’s no will to fight!

ARRRGH! I don’t have any other attacks!

EBERT used TWO THUMBS!

TWO THUMBS went up!

SISKEL’S THUMBS were revived!

Good!

SISKEL used THUMB!

THUMB banged EBERT on the HEAD!

EBERT died!

SISKEL wins!

That was easier than I thought…

EBERT FANS appeared!

My late counterpart has FANS?!

EBERT FANS are angry!

EBERT FANS want to fight!

EBERT FANS sent out “EBERT RULES!” BANNER!

SEAN appeared!

Eh?

SEAN: I’m very good at destroying banners. The charge is 500,000,000 ¥!

That’s steep!

SEAN walked aw-

Okay okay! Here.

SISKEL handed over 500,000,000 ¥!

SEAN sent out ANT TRAP!

ANT TRAP used TRAP!

BANNER fainted!

Wahoo!

EBERT FANS ran away!

SISKEL wins!

SEAN wins!