Alright Pikachu, you got the beer?
PIKACHU: Pika! Chu chu *gurgle*
Don't tell me you're wasted already, Pikachu. It's only 9 o'clock!
BROCK: Pikachu, you're a lightweight!
Yeah, he can't really hold his liquor.
POKEDEX: Pikachu. 13 lbs.
BROCK: That explains it.
BROCK, where are those chicks you promised?
BROCK: They're coming, man. Chill the fuck out and take a HIT of this BLUNT.
Alright.
ASH used HIT!
BLUNT was HIT!
ASH is confused!
Oooof.
PIKACHU used HIT!
PIKACHU: o_O O_o ^_-
PIKACHU fainted!
BROCK: Pussy.
Wild MISTY appeared!
Oh, hey, Misty, right on cue!
MISTY: Hey Ash! Hey Pikachu!
MISTY ran away!
Where'd she go?!! Doesn't she like me? OH SHIT, I'm FREAKIN' OUT MAN!
BROCK: She went to get a drink, dude. Relax.
ASH used FOCUS!
Sorry, that BLUNT hit me pretty hard.
BROCK: It can do that.
Wild SABRINA appeared!
Wild ERIKA appeared!
Nice! Hey ladies!
BROCK: You know, girls are easier to catch when they are asleep or paralyzed.
...good to know.
JIGGLYPUFF: Hell yeah, I'm getting laid tonight.
What the hell are you talking about JIGGLYPUFF, you're like a foot tall and spherical.
BROCK: Nah Ash, the ladies love that jiggly motherfucker.
JIGGLYPUFF: Plus I've got a mean LULLABY attack. I'm a regular Sinatra over here.
SABRINA: Heyyy Jigglypuff!
ERIKA: Looking good, hot stuff!
BROCK: What'd I tell ya.
JIGGLYPUFF, SABRINA, and ERIKA ran away...
To get drinks?
... to have crazy SEX!
...don't even want to know how that works...
BROCK: Hey look, GARY is talking to MISTY over there.
GARY? Who invited that punk?
GARY: Hey babe, I'd love to make you use SQUIRT tonight.
MISTY: Ooh, I love SQUIRTLE!
GARY! You sleazebag!
ASH is angry!
BROCK: Whoa dude. Relax. Blunt.
Not now!
ASH used DOUBLESLAP!
Hit 2 times!
BROCK: Jeez dude, once was enough.
BROCK picked up BLUNT from the floor!
BROCK: More for me I guess.
BROCK used HIT!
GARY: Why don't you come back to my place. I'll let you play my POKe FLUTE.
MISTY used GIGGLE!
Grr... that's it!
ASH wants to fight!
GARY: You got a problem Ash?
Put up your dukes, you scoundrel!
GARY: Who the fuck says that. This is POKeMON, not the WILD WEST.
Look, I've had a few DRINKs and a HIT off this BLUNT!
Anyway, it doesn't matter! Let's fight!
GARY: Fine, I'll take you.
MISTY: No, don't fight! Even though I'm going to sleep with the winner! Don't do it!
GARY sent out GYARADOS!
This'll be a piece of cake! Go, PIKACHU!
...
Oh, right.
Fine, go, BULBASAUR!
Get'm, BULBASAUR!
GARY: Ha ha ha! Walked right into my trap!
GYARADOS used ICE BEAM!
It's super effective!
Ah shit!
GARY: Hell yeah GYARADOS! You're so huge and awesome!
BROCK: Hang in there ASH. I have a secret weapon!
You what?
BROCK: BULBASAUR is a GRASS type!
BROCK used BLUNT!
That's going to help?
BROCK: Trust me bro.
BULBASAUR HIT the BLUNT!
It's super effective!
OK, now BULBASAUR, use RAZOR LEAF!
BULBASAUR is loafing around!
Um... But when he attacks, it's going to be awesome, right?
BULBASAUR: Why we always gotta fight like this. Let's be friends.
BULBASAUR lay down on the COUCH and might as well have fainted!
BROCK!!!!
BROCK: Oh wait. That just makes the BLUNT super effective on BULBASAUR, not makes it super powerful...
GYARADOS used BITE!
BULBASAUR actually fainted!
Goddammit you STONEr!
BROCK: I prefer the term GEODUDE.
Whatever. What other POKeMON do I have...
GARY: Ready to give up? GYARADOS is too long and hard for you, huh?
Never! Uhh... go, DITTO!
GARY: Ha! Know greatness when you see it, don't you? GYARADOS is one sexy, throbbing beast!
That's kinda fucked up... DITTO, TRANSFORM!
DITTO transformed into GYARADOS!
Now what attacks do I have here?
GYARADOS has HYDRO PUMP, ICE BEAM, BITE, and JUICE!
JUICE?
GARY: Err... just ignore that one!
Like hell I will! GYARADOS, use your JUICE attack!
GYARADOS got bigger!
GYARADOS' POKe BALLs got smaller!
Holy shit, this GYARADOS is just a MAGIKARP on steroids!
GARY looks nervous!
OAK appeared!
OAK: GARY! I see you have failed to treat your POKeMON with TRUST and LOVE!
GARY: What are you talking about, old man? That MAGIKARP was a shrimp! Well it's a carp, but, really shrimpy...
BROCK: Perhaps the word you were looking for was "wimp."
OAK: Doesn't matter! You've betrayed the sanctity of the POKeMON LEAGUE!
GARY: But this is just a drunken brawl, not a LEAGUE match!
OAK: Maybe so, but I'm your father, and you're grounded!
GARY: Goddammit! I'm 22!!
OAK: You're gonna get it now! Get your butt home right away! Is this your BLUNT?
OAK and GARY ran away!
ASH wins!
Hell yeah! I guess.
BROCK: Hey, where's MISTY?
JIGGLYPUFF: You're lookin' pretty jiggly yourself tonight, miss.
MISTY used GIGGLE!
JIGGLYPUFF: And giggly.
MISTY used SQUIRT!
JIGGLYPUFF and MISTY ran away!
Goddammit, Jigglypuff is insatiable!
BROCK: Tell me about it. I'm probably going to have to go home with ODDISH.
...BROCK, that's fucked up.
BROCK: Not literally. It's a euphemism for smoking more GRASS.
Gotcha. Pass that BLUNT over here.
ASH used HIT!
ASH and BROCK basically fainted for all intents and purposes!
JIGGLYPUFF wins!