Let's see... wonder
what's on TV today...
MIKE sent
out REMOTE!
REMOTE used
INFRA-RED!
TV FUNCTION
was ACTIVATED!
TV used ON!
TV became
ONned!
SNOW-FILLED
SCREEN appeared!
....that's
a lot of narrating to just switch the thing on...
NARRATOR
doesn't do this for his HEALTH you know!
Ah... Watching
programs with that thing around wouldn't be good...
TV wants
you to WATCH it!
Inform me,
TV; What is on?
TV wants
you to WATCH it!
...TV hasn't
got a very complete way of making me interested...
TV LISTINGS
notes that MIKE's FAVOURITE is on!
Oh... Well,
'Mike's Favourite'; sounds like a good show...
TV LISTINGS
notes the show is called 'Mike's Favourite'!
But... 'Mike's
Favourite' IS my favourite show...
NARRATOR
sweatdrops!
PROGRAM used
START!
CREDITS used
APPEAR!
Hey... Don't
the credits roll on..? Not just go POOFLE and appear?
Er...CREDITS
used ROLL!
CREDITS ROLLed
away!
Uh... Just
start the program...
MAIN PROGRAM
started!
TV...*_*
MIKE slipped
into PEACEFUL WATCHING!
...
...
...
...
...
...
AMOUNT OF
TIME passed!
SHOW used
BORE!
MIKE became
BORED!
Zzzz.....Eh?
I'm bored? Then I'll go off and---
TV wants
you to KEEP WATCHING!
Would YOU
keep watching if the show was boring?
TV would,
since it has no CHOICE!
Well, I do...
so g'bye, I'm going to-
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to do that!
...it's a
perfect time to do this...Are you some sort of idiot?
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to say that!
I concur.
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to be funny!
...it's a
poké battle, there's always room for humour...
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to--
Can you just
die, please; Be like the Red Version Oak...
OAK used
DIE!
Uh..
OAK died!
...it killed
itself... Weird thing O_o;;
NARRATOR:
If all you could say had to follow "MIKE, this is not the time to..", wouldn't
you kill yourself too?
...point...
MIKE went
into KITCHEN!
...I have
a kitchen?
MIKE is WEIRD!
Heh, joking;
course I have a kitchen..
NARRATOR
knew this; but even so, you're still WEIRD!
.....bah...
MIKE needs
SOMETHING TO EAT, badly!
Wouldn't
have come in otherwise... Me, use make a pizza...
MIKE used
MAKE!
MIKE started
to MAKE a PIZZA!
DOUGH was
MADE!
CHEESE appeared!
TOMATO appeared!
TOPPING appeared!
....Oi....
MIKE used
SHOVETHEMALLTOGETHER!
PIZZA appeared!
PIZZA was
SHOVED in OVEN!
...uh...What
I mean, I have a frozen one here...microwave in 3 min, rather then cook in...uh...how
long...
PIZZA will
be done in 3 DAYS!
...Wha? I
thought you said I needed food BADLY!
NARRATOR
notes he said you needed SOMETHING TO EAT, badly!
You're telling
me there's a difference between food and what you eat...
MIKE ate
KITCHEN!
MIKE ate
TV!
MIKE ate
HOUSE!
YUK! Bleh...
Why did I just do that?
NARRATOR
wanted to MAKE a POINT!
Yes... Fine,
so there isn't a difference... Ick...
NARRATOR
gained a POINT!
Now, just
need to go to the next house...
NARRATOR
wonders WHY!
...to borrow
some laxative...
NARRATOR
wonders WHY!
...because
I ate my house, and what goes in always comes out...but I need it to happen
quickly, y'know...
NARRATOR....now
wishes he didn't ask. Bleh.
NARRATOR
notes MIKE is 100 MILES from EVERYTHING!
...INCLUDING
the EARTH!
Uh....Eh?
MIKE is FLOATING
in BLACK AREA!
...this is
to stop me from getting my house back, isn't it...
NARRATOR:
Yep.
Well, I don't
see what much else can--
MÉLISSA
appeared!
...who?
NARRATOR:
You have no wish to know...
MÉLISSA:
Hello! ^_^
....a pink
pikachu. Fun. I thought this battle was set in 'Reality'.
Uh....MÉLISSA
went away again!
...come to
think of it, where does eating my house and floating in a large amount of
black enter reality? Someone has written wrong...
NARRATOR:
Ehh.....
NARRATOR
starts BASHING up AUTHOR!
MATT:
Hey....HEY! OW OW OW! GET OFF O_O
NARRATOR:
Fix the battle, please...
MATT:
Oww.... okay... Gah, why did you have to say anything, Mike?
Felt like
it :P
MATT:
...Fine. But I've never bothered to before. You'll be sorry..
Hah. Just
write, boi... Dunno how you're going to get out of--
BATTLE restarted!
What the-
--------
This weeks battle sees me trying to slip a return tribute in to the early days; how Pokémon affects our daily lives. Why? I re-read Red Version (fun to say fast is that :P) - and discovered a lot of LOLs could be extracted from it n.n
Battle #29:
Today November 26, 2000
Setting: Game /
Reality
Player: Mike
[No Record]
...Eh? You can't
just RESTART a battle!
MIKE sent
out REMOTE!
REMOTE used
INFRA-RED!
TV FUNCTION
was ACTIVATED!
TV used ON!
TV became
ONned!
SNOW-FILLED
SCREEN appeared!
I know this....
We've done this before..
NARRATOR
doesn't do this for his HEALTH you know!
...no, you
do it to lower mine, of course...
TV wants
you to WATCH it!
Uh... No,
I know what's coming, I sat through this program already...
TV wants
you to WATCH it!
Well, whoopie
doo. I don't WANT to...
TV LISTINGS
notes that MIKE's FAVOURITE is on!
...I know
it's on... but I've SEEN this one already...
TV LISTINGS
notes the show is called 'Mike's Favourite'!
I KNOW WHAT
IT'S CALLED, I'VE SEEN IT!!
NARRATOR
sweatdrops!
PROGRAM used
START!
CREDITS used
APPEAR!
Grr... Why
won't anyone listen...?
Er...CREDITS
used ROLL!
CREDITS ROLLed
away!
You've said
that before...
MAIN PROGRAM
started!
Well, I'm
gonna get forced to watch it... so I'll sleep instead. Hah. :P
MIKE slipped
into PEACEFUL WATCHING!
...
Zzz...
...
Zzz...
...
Zzz...
AMOUNT OF
TIME passed!
SHOW used
BORE!
MIKE became
BORED!
OW OW OW
IT'S DRILLING INTO MY HEAD GETITOFFF!
TV wants
you to KEEP WATCHING!
That was
a REALLY rude awakening... Why did you do that?
TV would,
since it has no CHOICE!
Of course,
this narrator... Sigh, well, I'm leaving before I eat the--
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to do that!
...you die.
I saw you kill yourself. YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to say that!
I want to
say it. Because it's true. So go crawl off and die now.
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to be funny!
...I'm not
JOKING here, you're FATED to DIE!
OAK: MIKE,
now is not the time to--
See, the
next thing this narrator says...
OAK used
DIE!
And then
you get forced to kill yourself and so...
OAK died!
...I'm right.
Fun. That's twice he's died. STAY DEAD!
NARRATOR:
If all you could say had to follow "MIKE, this is not the time to..", wouldn't
you kill yourself too?
...I would
yes - But I've told you that BEFORE!
MIKE went
into KITCHEN!
I ATE THIS
PLACE, IT'S DIGESTING RIGHT NOW!
MIKE is WEIRD!
I'm talking
the TRUTH!!
NARRATOR
knew this; but even so, you're still WEIRD!
.....eh....If
you knew this then why are we still in this battle?
MIKE needs
SOMETHING TO EAT, badly!
....That's
a SWELL reason. Me, make the Narrator remember stuff...
MIKE used
MAKE!
MIKE started
to MAKE a PIZZA!
DOUGH was
MADE!
CHEESE appeared!
TOMATO appeared!
TOPPING appeared!
Topping....
Anchovies? Gah, it deserves to cook for 3 days...
MIKE used
SHOVETHEMALLTOGETHER!
PIZZA appeared!
PIZZA was
SHOVED in OVEN!
And I'll
have the frozen one later. Now I leave, so I don't eat--
PIZZA will
be done in 3 DAYS!
But I'm not
hungry.
NARRATOR
notes he said you needed SOMETHING TO EAT, badly!
I ATE THIS
WHOLE HOUSE! SERIOUSLY, I'M FULL!
MIKE ate
KITCHEN!
MIKE ate
TV!
MIKE ate
HOUSE!
.....I think
I'm going to throw up...
NARRATOR
wanted to MAKE a POINT!
You already
MADE that point!
NARRATOR
gained a POINT!
...you already
had that point o_o - THIS IS MADNESS...
NARRATOR
wonders WHY!
You keep
repeating what you said, and you've already done it...
NARRATOR
wonders WHY!
Because that
idiot webmaster Matt decreed it so. What more proof do you need?
NARRATOR....now
wishes he didn't ask. Bleh.
NARRATOR
notes MIKE is 100 MILES from EVERYTHING!
...INCLUDING
the EARTH!
Of course,
and because of that..
MIKE is FLOATING
in BLACK AREA!
Shouldn't
I be falling now...?
NARRATOR:
Yep.
But I'm not....Whee.
Now then, next we have...
MÉLISSA
appeared!
you, wherever
you sprung from... Hey, how DID Matt think her up, anyway?
NARRATOR:
You have no wish to know...
MÉLISSA:
Hello! ^_^
....wait,
this was the first problem... This isn't real either! MÉLISSA DOESN'T
EXIST IN REALITY! He's messed up again, I swear....
Uh....MÉLISSA
went away again!
Now, I'm
supposed to remind you that reality doesn't ever have me floating in the
middle of a load of black stuff... SORT IT OUT O_O
NARRATOR:
Ehh.....
NARRATOR
starts BASHING up AUTHOR!
MATT:
Ow OW OW! PREVIOUS WOUNDS! Leave off....
NARRATOR:
Fix the battle, please...
MATT:
It's fixed enough for my purposes...
...uh....Why
am I repeating things constantly?
MATT:
You're trapped here until I make a reality battle. Until I can finish this.
Until then, you'll live out what I write... and I'm not writing any new material
now. Or, for that matter, ever. Have fun re-eating your house into infinity...
.....damn
you. I have to do this AGAIN AND AGAIN?
BATTLE restarted!
NOOOOOOOO!
--------
This weeks battle sees me trying to slip a return tribute in to the early days; how Pokémon affects our daily lives. Why? I re-read Red Version (fun to say fast is that :P) - and discovered a lot of LOLs could be extracted from it n.n
Battle #29:
Today November 26, 2000
Setting: Game /
Reality
Player: Mike
[No Record]
.....wah, wah
WAAAAAH....;_; - Lemme out, Matt, you dumbass...
MIKE sent
out REMOTE!
REMOTE used
INFRA-RED!
TV FUNCTION
was ACTIVATED!
TV used ON!
TV became
ONned!
SNOW-FILLED
SCREEN appeared!
*sigh* Gonna
be a long eternity... I wonder if there's food....
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