Battle
2: Two Vivis and their SC!
Date:
27th October 2001
Setting: Large Evil Castle (Probably made less threatening by the fact that there's a Fuzzy Sock hanging on the doorway)
SANDY
VIVI appeared!
SANDY
VIVI: Anything?
No luck, you?
SANDY
VIVI: Nope.
HOW
CAN THERE BE NO SC IN THIS ENTIRE VERSION?!?!?
Well,
this is a new version.
WITH
LOCATIONS FROM TWO VERSIONS IN THERE EARLY 30’S!!!
…
GIVE
US SC OR WATCH US DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE VERSION!!!!!
Your
stressed… And anyway, you don’t speak for both of you.
SANDY
VIVI: GIVE US SC OR WE’LL DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!!!
…Or
not.
Look,
you two. Calm down. I’m sure one location in this version will have SC.
There’s plenty of computer stuff in Narrator’s Tower… Haven’t seen SC there
yet, but I’m sure it’s there.
TAKE
US THERE OR DIE!!!
…You have no idea how pathetic that threat is to me. Number 1, I’m a ghost, and number 2, I’ve died a ridiculous amount of times.
SANDY
VIVI: HOW ABOUT BEING IRRADICATED FROM EXISTANCE!
O.O
That
works....
GIVE
US SC OR FEEL OUR WRATH!
STEMI: Haunt, what’s up with them?
They
appear to be on a rampage at the lack of SC in this version. If you have,
please give it to them.
SALMON: I know every inch of this path, and there aren’t any games here.
…
Please
leave the path, before I punish you for questing.
SALMON: I’m not on a quest. I’m on an exploratory mission.
…
Isn’t
that a type of quest?
STEMI:
Even if it is, it’s my exploratory mission, he’s tagging along as my guide.
…You
do know that rock-headed fish has the sense of direction of a pea, right?
SALMON:
Lemon was directing.
GET
ON WITH IT OR BE IRRADICATED ><
Look, I really don’t have time for this, I’ll deal with you later.
Setting:
Narrator’s Tower, Computer Room.
Here we are. Now, lets start looking for that SC disk.
VIVI-HATER appeared!
…There goes the perfect Deb content.
FUZZY SOCK appeared!
FUZZY SOCK: ^_^
FUZZY SOCK ran away!
…
SANDY VIVI: …
VIVI-HATER: …
What?
VIVI-HATER: I find myself at a tricky metaphorical crossroads. Do I kill the Kawaii One of infinite infinitesimally small grains, or the Kawaii one of the life giving fluid that runs through my veins first? Shalt I be reduced to utilising the ancient and traditional childish way of drawing of a rhyme involving an unfortunate man named Moe? Nay, for I hath derived at an exceptionally cunning and vaguely scientific method of deriving the path I shalt take.
You sound like a Movius written by a guy who hasn’t the foggiest what he’s doing o.o;
VIVI-HATER used DRAW!
VIVI-HATER DREW a SC DISK!
VIVI-HATER’s ART SKILLS are IMPRESSIVE!
VIVI-HATER: If I was of more crude a mind, I would note well to though face that you consume though drinks through a thin tube of plastic. On much more important matters that concern themselves, however. I hath possession of this newly formed versions feature most treasured by those who art facing me, the only disk that contains the game which finds itself treasured by the one known as Deb. It appears, alas, to be in my container of loose items and change, this most delightful illustration shall surfice for the purposes of illustrating to certain entities what I have in my plan. Here I find myself averting my eyes in a most annoyed fashion towards the Narrational entity known as haunter_uk. The possession of mine residing in my lining indentation happens to be attached, by means of buckled strips of dried hide of a spotty creature of the essence of both good and evil to a miniscule device of pain and fireworks. The beings of infinite Kawaiiness shalt engage in honorable combat to the point of extermination of one or the other, or the most delightful possession shalt find itself in a most unfortunate predicament.
o.o;
…As far as evil plans go, that one just plain sucks.
O.O
SANDY VIVI: O.O
Well…
Considering we think alike, I know that you know what I’m thinking, and
I also know that we both consider it to be the only alternative.
SANDY VIVI used NOD!
SANDY VIVI NODDED its UBBER KAWAII HEAD in an UBBER KAWAII FASION so that the POINTY LITTLE HAT moves in an UBER KAWAII WAY!
Aww.
BLOOD VIVI wants to fight!
SANDY VIVI wants to fight!
HAUNTER_UK wants to CRY as two BROTHERS of KAWAII are going to go THROAT to THROAT!
Actually, I will.
;_;
BLIZAGA!
BLOOD VIVI used BLIZAGA!
SANDY VIVI used BLIZAGA!
VIVI-HATER: I am undergoing a most fascinating transition, for I find myself compelled to laugh in a most stereotypical villainous manor.
…Oh, that’s what they knew they had to do…
VIVI-HATER: Where I of more common a breed, I would make reference to a most clichéd pokebattles term, which was invented by the original playing entity of the primary coloured version which is primary for all pokebattles.
BLIZAGAs were used on VIVI-HATER!
VIVI-HATER: Although I am inclined to make an exclamation of fear, I feel that this would be the appropriate temporal location for the device of destruction and fireworks to use its explode attack.
BOMB used EXPLODE!
LITTLE BOMB attached to SC DISC in VIVI-HATERS POCKET did IMPRESSIVE BLOWEY-UPPEY STUFF!
LITTLE BOMB fainted!
VIVI-HATER fainted!
SC DISK’s life force is LOW!
SC DISK might not MAKE IT!
If
it doesn’t make it, neither will you, or the version ><
Urrh… SC DISK was FULLY RECOVERED!
That’s
much better.
BLOOD VIVI found SC DISK!
BLOOD VIVI put SC DISK in KEY ITEM POCKET!
Battle Three: Of Utter Nonsense
and....thats it...yea.
Date: November 4, 2001
Setting: Circle Path
Player: Davis
DAVIS appeared from SANDY PORTAL!
VEEMON appeared from SANDY PORTAL!
Wha-What?
This isnt the Digiworld O_o;
No, it isnt.
Well, WHY ARE WE HERE?
Because I narrated it- hey! You
came from Sandy ^__^
...haunter?
Yes?
J0?
-.-
Anyway, back to the battle.
What battl- aw, damn.
IOA appeared!
O_O
O_O
O_O
GOOD LORD!
...Oh wait; heh heh. thought I
was writing for Blood for a second there ^_^;;
...You almost KILLED me.
IOA disappeared!
Now, as I said, time to bring in
your oppo-
VIVI-HATER appeared!
...Oo
VIVI-HATER: My goodness, I bear
the upmost quality of surprise and shock, to have been alone and then suddenly
with thee...
HAUNTER_UK kicks TRANSLATOR!
VIVI-HATER: < Hello is what
I say.>
O_O Translator was renamed BABBEL-FISH!
...How can ANYONE hate Vivis?
VIVI-HATER: < Hardly, I do not
klnow why. Hardly they displease to me. >
VIVI-HATER: <...God, Babbel-Fish
hatred.>
Okay, I need a good battle for
today. Vivi-Hater, you fight Dave.
VIVI-HATER: Such a odd remark as
was that gives me surprise, and my eyes round with one slightly larger,
pertaining to a look of-
HAUNTER_UK kicks BABBEL-FISH!
VIVI-HATER: < O_o >
VIVI-HATER: < Why must I fight
it? >
It? ><
MURRAY: LeChuck talks like Yoda!
...Oo
IOA appeared!
O_O
O_O
O_O
ACCCCCK!
Er, heh heh. Sorry about that.
STOP DOING THAT!
IOA disappeared!
RUSTY SPOON appeared!
VIVI-HATER: Mine eyes again show
my expression, as they each increase in diameter by a large amount.
O_O
RUSTY SPOON: Im rusty.
That you are.
Okay, Im getting tired of an utter nonsense battle.
Setting: School
Player: Your Math Teacher
What is 3(x+4)/5x + 6y(4 + 50a)
equal to?
...nah, I dont like this either.
Setting: Blood Version
Player: Gavel
WE SHALL GET INTO GHOST VE-hey,
we did it!
IOA: Hooray!
GAVEL hits (on) TABLE!
TABLE: STOP IT!
Urrh, thats not what Im looking
for either.
Setting: Hell
WE ARE STILL IN GHOST!
IOA: Hooray!
O_O What? It didnt move!
Like theres a difference?
Oh, yea ^_^;;
View/Post comments on Battle 3
ASSORTED
INANIMATE OBJECTS are THERE ALSO!
It’s
times like this when I wish I wasn’t genuinely writing the battles, but
having someone whisper in my ear like last week…. If it was one of those,
like last week, the guy writing it would have a hell of a lot of explaining
to do O.o;
GAVEL
used HIT on TABLE!
TABLE
died!
Stop
hitting on me ;_;
GAVEL
used HIT on HECHOFME!
HECHOFME
died!
OK…
So, that hasn’t changed.
TABLE
and HECHOFME became GHOSTS!
TABLE
and HECHOFME stayed in GHOST VERSION!
TABLE
and HECHOFME re-entered their BODIES!
And
yet again I find myself in a version which actually finds itself acting
as it’s own Land of the Dead ¬_¬
Wait a second… Is that haunter? One of the reasons we came into this version?
…Not
if you intend to re-force me into the IOA.
…
Oh.
SEAL:
…
…Haunter has that seal.
…Yes.
…The Seal is with you.
…Yes.
…Your haunter.
…
…
…No.
Oh.
FUZZYSOCK
appeared!
FUZZYSOCK:
Heya haunter.
Heya
Fuzzysock.
FUZZYSOCK
used NOTICE!
FUZZYSOCK
NOTICED the SETTING!
FUZZYSOCK
ran away!
…You are haunter.
…No.
…
…
No
tricking me this time. You are haunter.
Fine, but this time the tables are turned, for I am the Narrator, and you are the lowly player!
…
…I’m
not turned.
TABLE used TURN!
TABLE was FULLY TURNED!
You are now.
Oh.
Now… How best to torture a table… I know…
HORDE of DISGRUNTLED STUDENTS with BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS appeared!
WTF?
You’ll see…
HODSWBP used THROW!
HODSWBP THREW TABLE at the TEACHER!
What
teacher?
…Ooops….
TEACHER appeared!
TABLE used HIT on TEACHER!
TEACHER: WTF? A nude table just hit on me o.o;
HODSWBP used FLAVOURLESSGUM!
HODSWBP have FLAVOURLLESS GUM!
HODSWBP TOOK GUM out of THEIR MOUTHS!
HODSWBP need somewhere to PUT IT!
Well,
there is a bin on the mat.
HODSWBP look at BIN!
HODSWBP look at TABLE!
HODSWBP use STICK!
HODSWBP STUCK GUM to TABLE!
Eww…
Gross >_<
TABLE fainted!
Use next INANIMATE OBJECT?
Player:
Burger
…
Great, a traditional Inanimate object that stays shut-up… This will be just great to Narrate for.
…
VERY FAT MAN with NO INTENTION of DIETING appeared!
!!!
VFMWNIOD used EAT!
O.O
I’m not going to ask ¬_¬
VFMWNIOD ate BURGER!
BURGER fainted!
Use next INANIMATE OBJECT?
Player:
Hechofme
…
WTF? Another one?!?!?
…
Hmm… You’re from Sandy, aren’t you?
^.^
…That would be a yes… I really don’t want to torture you… Would you be willing to leave the IOA?
>.<
…I’ll take that as a No…. But why do you like them?
…
…Should of known I wouldn’t get a straight answer out of a wordless inanimate object… Sorry about this, but… What the hell can I use against a heavy chunk of metal? I know…
WATER appeared!
OXYGEN appeared!
O.o;
…I thought it was already here too o.o;
SALT appeared!
Mmmmm… Saaaaaaaaaalt….
WATER used SPLASH!
HECHOFME became DRENCHED!
OXYGEN used REACT!
OXYGEN started REACTING with WATER!
OXYGEN: You know, you’re really hot.
WATER: Thanks, so, you new to this part of town?
OXYGEN: I’m not sure, I’ve never been mentioned before.
WATER: Same here. You want to pop out for Coffee soon?
STORM PORTAL appeared!
TOBY appeared!
TOBY used DRINK!
TOBY DRANK a LIQUID SUBSTANCE of SIMILAR CONSISTANCY and COLOUR to COFFEE!
???
TOBY: ...Why didn’t you just say Coffee?
…That wasn’t Coffee…
TOBY: Then WTF was it?
…The water came from Blackpool Beach… The water in Blackpool is not only liquid and, like most water, a similar consistency to Coffee, but it’s also a similar colour.
TOBY: O.O
TOBY used SPIT OUT!
TOBY SPAT OUT WATER!
TOBY ran away THROUGH STORM PORTAL!
STORM PORTAL closed!
OXYGEN: Sure thing.
Will you two please shut up?
OXYGEN: Sorry.
WATER: Sorry.
SALT used ACCELERATE!
SALT ACCELERATED the PROCESS!
HECHOFME used RUST!
HECHOFME became RUSTY!
HECHOFME fainted!
Use next INANIMATE OBJECT?
Player:
Gavel
GAVEL used HIT on TEACHER!
TEACHER: What did I do to deserve this?
TEACHER died!
TEACHER: Yay ^_^
TEACHER became a GHOST!
TEACHER stayed in GHOST VERSION!
TEACHER returned to its ORIGINAL BODY!
TEACHER: Damn.
GAVEL used HIT on HAUNTER!
…And people wonder why I hate inanimate objects so much…
HAUNTER_UK died!
HAUNTER_UK is ALREADY a GHOST!
NO-EFFECT!
Send
in the doghouse.
DOGHOUSE: Awww… Do I have to?
…Blow this for a lark, I may be ready to torture most inanimate objects… But not this thing.
HAUNTER_UK ran-away!
Use next NARRATOR?
Battle Five: All three versions
in one battle! Scared?
Date: December 1, 2001
Setting: Blood Version - IOA
Player: Gavel
GAVEL hits TABLE!
TABLE: Good god...
ATTENTION IN THE DOGHOUSE!
DOGHOUSE: Yea.
Now that we are once again in Ghost Version,
what is the plan?
CUP: To FORCE HAUNTER_UK BACK INTO IOA!
*gulp*
MR.WRAP: I tell you, bring me my bbubbububububleeel
wrap now or the auththorothies will be called.
Shut UP, OLD MAN. Now, ba-
HAUNTER_UK will NOT PUT UP WITH ANYMORE BLOOD!
Setting: Cold Version - Newly
Created Stream
Player: Disembodied Voice
And so, our her-hey!
Why the heck did our readers double?
COLD NARRATOR: Yea, they went from one, to
two!
PSYCHICJACK appeared!
DISEMBODIED VOICE ran!
Player: PsychicJack
Welcome, Ghost readers....er....reader....
SOMEONE'S READING? OMG!
COLD NARRATOR: Oh wait, no, that was just
a speck of dust on the radar screen.
Dang.
Setting: Ghost Version - Circle
Path
Player: Salmon
*sigh* questing isnt the same without LeMon
and DeMon.
Wait, what's this?
SALMON found MYSTIC KEY!
Whoa. What do I do with it?
SALMON found MYSTIC KEYHOLE!
Ah.
SALMON used MYSTIC KEY with MYSTIC KEYHOLE!
SALMON found MYSTIC PATH!
MYSTIC PATH led to COLD VERSION!
Setting: Blood Version
Player: MetalMike
You know, PsychicJack wont allow it, but I
DO have a bit of psychic powers. I can sense anyone who commits evil.
MENDIN: Really, Metal Mike?
SENSORS PICK UP MORTAL SIN! BEEP BEEP BEEP
BEEP GRAHHHH
MENDIN: What is it?!
YOU SAID METALSPACEMIKE YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEE
METALMIKE's SENSORS OVERLOADED!
METALMIKE's SENSORS BLEW UP in MENDIN's FACE!
MENDIN went to-
No cursing in this battle.
-IOA!
I said, no cursing in this battle!
Ah, sorry.
MR. WRAP: BUBBLE WRAP....BUB-
I SAID, NO CURSING IN THIS BATTLE!
Good god, MetalMike's become RSACI.
Who the IOA said that?
I did.
And...who are you?
I'm the shadowy figure from the beginning
of Ghost Version. Remember?
Ah, yes...I wondered who you were. Who are
you?
SHADOWY FIGURE took off its CLOAK!
SHADOWY FIGURE reveals his TRUE IDENTITY!
SHADOWY FIGURE IS.....
Dun dun dun!
...spare the dramatics.
...SHADOW E. FIGURE!
Wow, look at that! -.-
MR. FIGURE bows!
Setting: Ghost Version
Player: haunter_uk
Why do I have the feeling that something important just happened?
Setting: Blood Version
Player: MetalMike
You know, this looks like an early Blood battle
where I was obsessed with changing settings.
...Except this is changing versions. O_o
Remember, no matter who you vote for, a politician will win. x.x