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PROLOGUE
It was a dark and stormy day. Count Chocula was at rest, and the Big Bad Wolf was hunting.
Hunting...for the hunted. And who was the hunted? Well, Wolf didn't quite know right about then.
But he knew he was hunting. And for what? I think we've been over that. With nothing better to do, Wolf hunted for the sliding glass door that constantly eluded his grasp as he trudged around and around in circles.
CHAPTER ONE: '2M
CHAPTER TWO: Linked to...uh.. >.< I can't think of any "link" jokes to put in this title!!!
CHAPTER THREE: Skating Champion
CHAPTER FOUR: Driving Mr. Robo
CHAPTER FIVE: Finally, Good Old-Fashioned Battle #1
CHAPTER SIX: Bundle of Big Booming Voices...argh, Voices doesn't begin with a "B" x_x
CHAPTER SEVEN: PUFFFF! DOOM! hehe, gotcha scared there ^_^; Just kidding...
CHAPTER EIGHT: Johnny, Trapped in the Deep Dark Caverns of Light Version....
CHAPTER NINE: Captain Injury, AKA Slowpoke-Man
CHAPTER TEN: HAL, AKA "The Dissapointing Lead-On to a Battle Scene that Never Fully Developed"
CHAPTER ELEVEN: OY/OI!
CHAPTER TWELVE: Good Old-Fashioned Battle #2, Complete with Emu-Proof Tiling!
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Hee, Tickle Me! OW! I was KIDDING! LEAVE THE CHAPTER TITLES ALONE!
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Guess Each Monster's Version and Win A Prize...Or Not
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Blatant Ripoff Number #1...hey, wait, there only IS one in this Fanfic!!!
Battle #23: Jigglypuff Disaster!
*sigh* Do I HAVE to dress up like Eric? We don't look alike at all!
Uhh..lessee...
Wait! Lemme try that again!
So Mike, we've got a month and a half until the big Pokemon League competition, what should we do?
So Mike, we've got a month and a half until the big Pokemon League competition, what should we do?
Allies HAUNTER and GYRADOS are loafing around!
ERIC and MIKE ran over!
MIKE: Someone beat the crap out of Fanboy!!!
MIKE: All six of his "Pokemon" are fainted!
ERIC: Oh no...
TWO HOURS LATER....
ERIC: What the hell would that look like?
RABID JIGGLYPUFF used ROAR!
MIKE: Go get'm JIGGLYPUFF!
Enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF used COSMIC PUNCH!
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Link floated along the river, just as he'd been doing before a plot hole had dropped him temporarily into a little slumber party...now he was hurt, wounded, and gnawed on to great extent.
Still, he floated on........and on, and on, and so many more "and on"s that I won't even bother to say them all.
He'd left the frigid, barracude-and-pirannha-no-matter-how-you-spell-them-infected...er, infested...waters a while back, as well as the bodies of Zelda and Mario.
He was alone...the only warmth that kept him alive was the bomb he had lit.
Or is it litten? No, that doesn't sound right. Suddenly, out of the blue, for no apparent reason, a huge explosion sent Link flying. He hit the ground hard.
Of course, he could have climbed out of the water earlier, but he felt like a nice swim.
Link shook the water from his hair, howled, and scratched at some fleas before he realized he was in the wrong fanfiction. He blinked and stood up, checked to make sure all his equipment was set...somewhere, then looked around to see where he was.
A large, open plain, covered with smoking wreckage.
Looked like the far corner of Hrule Field, but strewn with metallic bits and pieces, dragon-like masks of former life, claws broken to pieces, and a huge pile of gore and blood, which he purposefully avoided looking at to keep the ratings low and his political standings nonexistant.
The ruins of the Dragon Tanks. Link gasped at the site, and it's annoying scrolling text, and slowly walked forwards as if drawn by the grisly horrors.
Actually, he was drawn by a really good artist, but you couldn't tell from his all pointed-looking nose. Very pointed, you could poke someone's eye out with it!!!
And then, like a bunch of munchkins from the beginning of the Wizard of Oz, except much more pathetic-looking, thirty-six thousand costumed heroes emerged from the wreckage.
"BANZAIIIIIIIIIII!" Nny yelled, slipping through a small crack in a wall and past.
He was roller blading along a very small track, screaming and yelling while holding a gun and a sharp knife, slicing and shooting anyone he got near, purely out of habit (not the roller blades, the killing).
His mind raced as he leaped over a Mankey, then landed on it on purpose to send the pig monkey into a tar pit.
He landed smoothly, although he'd never skated before. Things just seemed to...work out that way for him.
A police car sped by, but for some strange reason, the car's tires seemed to deflate all at once, for no reason at all.
But Johnny the homicidal maniac didn't have any tiem to marvel at his luck right now, or to attempt some handy-dandy suicide, or even to exterminate some bugs.
He was chasing a treasure, and a robot. Nny skated up a ramp and onto a building's roof like something out of a psychotic Tony Hawks Pro Skater game, ignoring the white numbers and letters zooming by.
5000 points.
"Oooooh...nifty," Nny commented. Then he spotted the target. The limousine, below on the street. And the key to the treasure.
Robo beeped and whrrrrrrred.
R2-D2 did the same back. They shared a brief kiss...more like a mutual headbutt, but they're robots!
C'mon! Then, Robo swung open the door of the limousine.
R2-D2 only had time to beep in alarm once before being flung out the door. Nny watched R2-D2 become some schrapnel and roadkill on the ground, scattering a full thirty yards before hitting a wall with a small explosion. Robo laughed.
"All the pieces are falling into place," he droned to the driver, an automated driving system Robo had found crashed near Death Mountain in a huge crater, probably of alien design.
Robo had repaired it himself, and it served him well and without complaints.
The limousine was heading in the direction the map Robo held indicated.
The city he was moving through, in the very center of Light Version, was known as the Gateway, the stairs to the Webmaster, or so the legend went.
And the map pointed straight down...to the underground catacombs.
The limousine shrunk down at a single command from Robo, and practically, or impractically if you want to look at it that way, flew into a small tunnel leading down...far down...past the underground catacombs, and into the deepest regions of Diablo I...Robo chuckled and swiped one of R2-D2's spare screws, rolled up the window, and tossed it out.
He rolled the window back up dramatically.
Buffy growled and ducked under a swinging pole. It flew past, breezing through one of her hairs and slamming through a wall.
Her crossbow was out in an instant, not that it mattered to the foe she faced.
Kari Kamiya, dressed in darkly-colored robes, muttered a few words and balled her fists.
A ray of light burst through the air at the well-known vampire slayer.
She ducked and fired a bolt, but it bounced harmlessly off a powerful glowing shield that surrounded Kari.
It flashed for only a moment as Buffy's arrow bounced off, and during that instant Buffy vanished.
Buffy faded into the shadows and was gone, blasting a hole right through the floor and sliding in without a sound.
Kari waited a moment, sweating and panting from the exertion of the battle, then glared and started floating towards where buffy had been, a magical sword ready in her grip.
Kari raised it slowly, ready for an attack from the front...suddenly, she glanced down as she remembered that in all the movies the monster attacks from below.
A sound from above made Kari turn up and start slashing the air above her.
During that instant, strong hands reached out and grabbed Kari's feet. Kari screamed and plunged into the chilly waters below.
Buffy came kicking and clawing like someone out of a Xena episode, sending Kari flying through a wall.
But Kari wasn't done yet...she floated forwards, eyes glowing red, and balled her hands into fists. Dark energy seemed to flow in front of her cute, innocent face, as a huge, dark ball of evil materialized before her.
Buffy dropped her crossbow and ducked for cover, barely dodging the huge surge.
The energy broke through the sewer tunnel, and instantly a barrage of water rushed in.
Buffy leaped, grabbed a sewer ladder's wrungs just in time, and held on tight as the water rushed by. Kari wasn't so lucky.
She disappeared under the current, and Buffy struggled until she made it to the top. Once above, Buffy quickly ran across the narrator...er, narrow...street, then at a seemingly random interval as she ran, stopped and leaped into a manhole cover.
She stood up, wiped away a bloody nose, ripped away the cover, and leaped into the hole this time. Buffy managed to grab Kari's hand, with a triumphant "Action Man, nothing!" as she dragged the nine-elevenths-drowned Kamiya girl, sorceress robes badly shredded, up to the surface.
Kari slowly started to come around. The first thing she saw was Buffy's long sword pointed between her eyes. "Okay, Kari...I've got one question for you..." Buffy said, in a very determined voice.
Kari tightened her bluish lips.
"Where is Ultimate Evil?"
NARRATOR is ready!
Came the booming voice from above. The setting was a volcanic wasteland. Rocky canyons and hills covered the area.
The Narrator had arrived at the chosen place, and waited eagerly for the mysterious "Purple Voice" to show itself.
PURPLE VOICE appeared!
And so it did, although no form was visible, just the echoing voice from the sky, accompanied by purple crackling bolts of lightning coming from hazy purple clouds.
Ah...excellant! PREPARE TO DIE!
The Narrator and Voice were ready to fight.
How, I don't know. All I know is that there was a lot of thunder and lightning, some slapping, a fewmountains thrown around, and a lot of arguing.
It was completely unlike anything I had ever seen before.
Absolutely. *chuckles* Er, anyway, after a few hours...
BASTARD! You will never...defeat...me...!
Oh really? Wellll......why don't we follow the yellow brick road?
Purple Voice asked, in a complete disregard for quotation marks, and in a seemingly nonsencial set of words.
But...
AHHHH!
I knew it!
Everyone did! JUST SAY IT ALREADY! I can't live in fear ANY MORE!!!
And with those words, a tendril of purple mist lashed out.
A red curtain inconspiciously hidden in the corner of the world map fell back...to reveal an old man with a microphone.
"Hi!" he said cheerfully, waving and pulling the curtain back.
Purple Voice sweatdropped and quickly opened the curtain again, but the Wizard of Oz was gone...or was he?
COME OUT, WIZARD!
I'm right HERE!
A giant face emerged from the cloud and started glaring at Purple Voice evilly.
Very very evilly. Purple Voice merely chuckled.
Don't taunt me, old man. I am more powerful...than you can ever imagine...
Slowly, a purple cloud bank started to drift away.
A tiny, horrendous pinpoint of evil slowly drifted down...the Wizard's simulacrum backed away slowly, flinching at the sight of IT.
The purple form unfolded and grinned, revealing it's slimy emerald belly, and cackling evilly as it landed on the ground. The Wizard of Oz drifted back, shocked, from the evil little beast.
I...I never knew...
He murmered, over and over, his eyes diluting as thunder crackled...wait, doesn't lightning crackle and thunder roar? Well, whatever.
The abyssal black orbs focused on the floating head. The purple-and-green dinosaur stood tall, and roared.
It's shining scales bristled back, and it's tale whipped against the ground, cleaving a cactus inappropriately placed near a volcano in two.
It roared again and charged to attack. "Barney's coming to give you a hug..." it screeched evilly.
"I'm not so sure about this..." Derik said cautiously, terrified, as he walked slowly towards the platform.
It was a raised section, a small floating area of Light Version, linking back to Red Version.
Beside it was a link to Lime Version, but that was of no consequence to Derik.
He had his own plans. "So...we just have to get the webmaster to link to Aqua Version?" Derik asked his comrades timidly, poking the hole to Lime Version and come back with a green finger.
"Feeling green just got a fourth meaning..." he murmered obscurely as the straight jackets huddled next to him and conversed in silence like a bunch of football pads.
"Alright, Mr. MHE..." the largest, gruff jacket said with a good itallian accent. "We simply need to convince the Webmaster to link to Aqua Version, and we're all set. Now, the Webmaster's a lazy son-of-a-bleep, which I wouldn't normally say if this isn't a fanfic. But anyway, he's so lazy he won't put a link without a very good reason. We need a good reason," he said, taking out a cigar and smoking it.
"Now, the only obvious reason is if good 'ole Webmaster plaguearizes something. Then he has to link or be attacked by the version. This goes fine with weaker versions like Shell or Purple, but he's not going to risk such a thing with a powerful Version like Aqua. Do you see what I'm getting at?" the straight jacket asked, before bursting into flames from the cigar lighter.
Another jacket with a sombrero shuffled the dying mafia leader away, and another hitman took up his job immediately, smoothly inventing an itallian accent that actually sounded like Dracula combined with Elmo.
The jacket continued where the last one left off, ignoring the expression on Derik, mental hospital employee's, face.
"So, you must understand the position we're in. You HAVE to start copying Eric, MHE in every way if the Webmaster's going to make a link over to Aqua! The name isn't enough, there's already a few characters mimicing the legendary figure. You have to actually QUOTE him, copy ligns of text, even if only for this short block of text in the fanfiction. Okay?" he asked calmly, lighting a cigar.
"Uh...okay..." Derik said. "But..I have a few questions," he said.
"Fire away." the jacket said smoothly, puffing a ring of smoke into the air and gazing at Derik nonchalantly.
This unnerved him even more, considering the jacket had no eyes. "Well, first of all, um...how do I copy Eric? I mean, he doesn't have any personality at all!" Derik pointed out.
The straight jacket shrugged. "You mean he DIDN'T. Now that he's gone psycho, you should be able to copy at least one of his personalities. Here, try this..." he said, blowing some more smoke away and handing Derik a script.
Derik read it over, then said...
DOOM!
"...that's it?" he asked. "It's enough..." the straight jacket explained.
"Just keep reading..."
EVIL! Rabid! JIGGLY! of! PUUUFFF! Jiggglyy...
"This is demeaning!" Derik said angrily.
The straight jacket blew up in a cloud of smoke, so another one stepped forwards and sighed in his place.
"We want Eric as much as you do. Fine, that's enough...for this fic. Let's just hope it's enough for the Webmaster to put up a link...or you may have to have a little 'accident'..."
Derik gulped, then thought that over as the straight jacket lit a cigarette and pointed it at him.
"But why would you kill me if the Webmaster doesn't put up the link? It makes no sense! You need me, and I haven't done anything wrong..."
The cigarette started burning the straight jacket alive (sorta?? o_O) slowly, but through it he coughed out, "Just shut up and hope!" before dying.
Derik sighed, looking longingly back at the mental hospital.
Then he remembered the mental hospital memories, and started eagerly waiting for a link to Aqua Version.
And so, Derik, mental hospital employee, and a bunch of Ash waited......
Nny scurried into the tunnel after the limousine, still skating along.
He ducked under a swarm of Zubat, Keeze, Bats, and Sinisters from various games, then skated along a lava pit, racking up another 305 points.
Nny hopped over a few fireballs and bubbles, and then ahead he could see the limousine moving along...Nny slowed down to silently follow as the limousine headed deeper and deeper...After a few more hours of monotonousness, the limousine passed over a final barrier, and arrived.
The temple holding the ultimate treasure of Light Version.
Nny meant to stop at that point, to take off his skates and quietly sneak in...except...they wouldn't come off! He couldn't stop...Nny approached the temple at alarming speeds.
The limousine also sped in. There was a doorway ahead, and a small, gargoyle-like face. The face spoke, "If you wish to recieve the ultimate treasure, you must pass three tests..." The limousine simply sped past the face.
"Hey!" it shouted, scratching the roof of the car. Nny approached next, dropping his knife in surprise, and also sped right past the face. "HEY!!!" it shouted angrily. "You have to pass three tests!"
The face angrily locked the door, trapping Nny and Robo within the temple...Nny continued skating, dodging two more faces, and entered the main chamber.
It was a large, stone room, with torches circling the whole place to focus on an alter in the second with a small box on the top. As Nny skated forwards, though, something large and red slammed into his face, sending him flying backwards.
Nny only had time to see the convertible pull to a stop and Robo slide out before everything vanished in a tidal wave of crimson.
Link sweatdropped, backing away from the unfathomably huge mob of weak-looking people in costumes.
There was Living Paperclip, Tepid-Man, The Blisterer, and so many more...escaped from the Dale Massacre.
"What...happened here?" Link asked, looking over the carnage.
A hero from the crowd, Quark, spoke up. "It...it was horrible...the...chipmunk appeared...and..." he collapsed into nervous shivers, not that you could actually SEE him since he bounced around so much.
"A chipmunk?" Link asked. "What are you guys ON?"
"Nothing...it was Dale! An evil enemy from Limbo, the place where all characters go when they die!" Young Man answered.
Link scratched his head as the sun beat the dampness out of his clothes. "So you all got beaten to a pulp by a dead rodent?" he asked.
The depressed band of adventurers nodded slowly.
Link stiffled a laugh, then remembered the huge pile of bodies. "How'd you all escape if he's so powerful?" he asked.
A half-man, half-pigeon squawked and looked at Link. "'cause Hammy can't count! He thought there were only 4,000 of us, when they were really 40,000!"
Link nodded in understanding.
The Masked Jello continued in a quivering tone where The Pigeon left off to eat some birdseed sprinkling out of someone named 'Refreshmentizer'. "Of course, we took advantage of that typo to escape just in time! Super-De-Duper Man, the greatest hero of Light Version and also a major snob..." at this the jello ducked under a punch coming from his sidekick, Not-So-Super-De-Duper Man. "It's true! Well, a ton of monkey imps came and beat up Dale and Super-De-Duper Man, but both Dale AND Super-De-Duper Man escaped!
Dale ran off to take over the version, while Super-de-Duper Man is cleaning his clothes!"
"I hear he's got a snazzy new outfit," Miss Fashion whispered to Gossiper, unnoticed by the others.
Link asked. The Wave, a large assortment of people who could do things simultaneously, shrugged all at once. "WEWEWEWEWEWEWEWE..." the Wave started, each talking after the other, but Sarcasmo, on vacation from a TV show and depressed to be stuck in this fanfiction, shut them all up by punching one of them and making all of them faint at the same time. "Oh yeah, sure, just go ahead and clobber Dale up close!" he said sarcastically.
He crossed his arms sarcastically. "Why wouldn't I?" Link asked, showing off his sword technicques.
Sarcasmo shrugged sarcastically and walked away to pick on Angular Man.
"For we are the League of Light-Weights!" Captain Injury declared proudly.
"You're about five minutes too late..." Superwimp squeaked, then recoiled as Captain Injury glanced at him.
Tiki Man hopped over Evilarn, the deceased Mistress of Death, and pointed south. "Dale went that way! He's heading for the south pole, me thinks!" Tiki Man said, then hopped away.
Link nodded. "Then that's where I'm going!" he ran across the site of the battlefield, ignoring the nagging voice in the back of his head that wondered how Tiki Man could hop, much less talk, then shrugged and moved on.......
"No! I shall come with you!" Captain Injury said a few hours later. "It's too dangerous!"
Robo chuckled lowly as he rolled over to the altar.
He sent out a metallic arm and grabbed the lid of the box. Slowly, it came open...
Robo tried to peer over the box, but couldn't see inside, so he grabbed the box and brought it down to view the insides.
Inside, was a small round object. It was pink, and shone as if newly painted.
It was lightweight, and not cracked even slightly, a perfect sphere that didn't look old at all...
Robo looked over it questioningly. "Certainly bizarre...but why the greatest treasure?" Robo asked.
Robo felt the little ball, then turned it over to see the other side.
"!" Robo exclaimed, surprised. On the other side of the ball was a face carved into it.
It was simple, yet startlingly ugly. A slightly smiling mouth under a cycloptic eye, the lips and eyelids carved extremely intricately....
Robo, startled, dropped the treasure, and it started to roll away.
"NO! GRAB IT!" Robo screeched, rolling after it.
Suddenly, the convertible drove forwards a little bit to block Robo's way.
"Out of my way!" Robo shouted. The convertible growled at him.
"...eh?" Robo asked, looking his convertible over.
It slowly turned to face Robo.
"What are you doing?" he asked the driver.
The mechanical system started humming the "Wacky Hour" theme song in response.
Robo glared and pushed his car out of the way. "Out of the way, foolish car!" he declared, chasing the strange pink...thing.
The convertible glared. "The name is..." he said. But, before HAL could want to fight, Robo shot a lazer at him, making him blow up.
Robo angrily rolled after the ball and grabbed it. "Note to self: never trust AI cars."
Robo started rolling out of the cavern, when he noticed a thin teenager dressed all in black wrestling with a small red fuzzy creature.
Buffy quietly walked through the jungle.
Mage Kari hadn't known where Evil was, but she knew who would know.
She'd mentioned a creature living deep in the jungle, one who would certainly know the whereabouts of him.
Buffy sweated under the tropical heat.
It couldn't be much longer before...there it was!
Leemur Boy, half-human and half-lemur, swung from tree to tree, jibbering quietly in a tone too low for Buffy to hear.
Fortunately, he didn't notice her, and continued swinging past.
Buffy ducked down and quietly followed after him, shuffling through the trees as fluidly as she could.
Leemur Boy squeaked in fright, dropping a bundle of berries he was about to eat and ducking into a hole in the tree upon seeing Buffy.
Buffy angeily put away her crossbow and ran over to the tree.
She banged on it, and found to be hollow, so she reached a hand inside of it to start ripping off chunks of the bark...the screamed as Leemur Boy sunk his fans into her palm and leaped onto her face.
"Ow! Ow! GET OFF!" she yelled, pulling at Leemur Boy, but he tangled himself in her hair, mumbling something about pancakes tasting bad mixed with gummy bears.
Buffy finally succeeded in tossing him away, and he landed in a small pool of mud.
Leemur Boy jumped out, large black eyes blinking at Buffy, suddenly calmer although nervous as ever...which makes no sense, I know.
Buffy reached for her crossbow again, then stopped as she noticed Leemur Boy about to run away.
She sighed. "Look, I'm not here to fight..." she started, and Leemur Boy immediately leaped onto her face and started screeching, "NO LEEMUR GIRL! LONELY! I AM THE ONLY HALF LEEMUR HALF BOY!!!" over and over until Buffy's ears felt like they'd explode.
She reached for a dagger to stab the pathetic little thing, but reconsidered and just lifted her foot up, wedged it between herself and Leemur Boy, and pried him off, sending him back into the mud puddle again.
"Leemur Boy! Kari sent me to find you!" Buffy yelled, aiming her crossbow at him again and backing away a bit in case he tried to leap onto her again.
His claws looked sharp, and indeed she now had scratches along her face, and was very, very muddy.
Leemur Boy looked up at her timidly, but even his tiniest voice was extremely loud and high-pitched.
"LEEMUR BOY NO! HI! NO NO KARI!" he screeched.
Buffy growled, stepping forwards and menacingly holding up the Crossbow.
Leemur Boy retreated deeper into the mud puddle.
"LEEMUR BOY! TELL ME WHERE ULTIMATE EVIL IS!" Buffy yelled, starting to get very irritated.
Leemur Boy shrugged. "BYE LEEMUR BOY MERCHANDISE? BYE BYE BYE! NEED COCONUTS!" he held up some buttons with "Leemur Boy" logos on them, and a few baseball caps, but Buffy swatted them away, causing Leemur Boy to start screeching frantically again.
"LEEMUR BOY!" Buffy yelled, so loud that the trees shook, and Leemur Boy looked at her.
"WHAT?" he screeched back.
"Do you know any way I can find the Ultimate Evil???" she asked, calmly, putting away her crossbow to rub her temples to try and get rid of her sudden splitting headache.
"NO NO!" Leemur Boy squawked, leaping up into his tree again.
"GO SEA MIYAKO! SHE NO!" Leemur Boy screeched, before leaping straight up and vanishing into dense vegetation again.
Buffy sighed. "And I wouldn't suppose you'd know where to find this 'Miyako'..." she said more to herself then anyone, knowing that Leemur Boy was already gone but wishing she could ask more questions.
The quest to find Ultimate Evil was starting to seem helpless..
"GO GO THAT WAY!" Leemur Boy screeched from right behind her, making her scream and start running away before she knew what was happening, her ears pounding.
Just wanting to get away from that annoying, frantic creature.
Buffy's last thought before falling off a randomly-appearing cliff was that Kari had had her revenge after all...
Barney cackled insanely, rising up into the air somehow.
He whipped back both arms, and brought them together in front of his face with a huge explosion.
A channel of electric current flowed forwards towards the huge face of the Wizard of Oz, but the former Narrator wasn't done yet...he dodged the strike, and it hit something else, something invisible...quickly the rest of the enormous Wizard's body faded into view, a huge armored form that looked ridiculous in proportion compared to the enormous head.
It brought back one hand and started gathering a red pinpoint of Narrator energy.
Barney didn't wait a turn, though...he swung back with his tail, slashing the Wizard's huge armor...but it clanged, somehow, instead of breaking apart at the huge force of Barney's blow.
"What...impossible!" Barney screeched, hopping back a few steps to dodge the beam of energy that shot past him, to hit the ground with a massive explosion.
The Wizard merely cockily smiled.
My suit's made of PURE Gundanium, little purple fool!
Barney growled understandingly as the Oz Mobile Suit fully extended to cover all the Narrator's body, and started firing a barrage of energy beams which Barney easily dodged, hopping back swiftly and opening his mouth.
The Wizard barely extended an energy field in time to block the huge blast of yellow fire that was shooting at him, and Barney stopped breathing fire for a second to lick his lips.
It looked like a ridiculous battle, the miles-high Gundam fighting the incredibly tiny-in-comparison purple-and-green dinosaur.
But the battle was far more even then the Wizard of Oz liked...he would have to play dirty to defeat his foe.
As Barney spun through the air, shredding through minute molecules as he moved incredibly fast towards the Suit to attack, the Gundam brought back a fist and created a giant sword of energy magically.
He sliced forwards, but Barney countered with a dangerous claw.
The sword was fifty times larger than Barney himself, but he easily cut it in two with razor-sharp claws, and slid along the magical energy like a slide to leap up and latch onto the Mobile Suit's face.
The Wizard gasped inside his enormous Gundam, bringing the sword up to stab at Barney, but Barney curled into a ball and spun through the air and away from the Gundam's face, and the sword ended up imbedded in the helmet.
The Wizard growled and charged at Barney, trying to tackle him down with his sheer size, but Barney caught him in an uppercut, denting the Gundanium badly.
The Gundam stood up tall, firing up rockets to fly even higher, but Barney was gaining advantages by the second.
He reached back and used pure evil force to creature a few rings of darkness, which he then threw around the Gundam, and they grew and grew to surround it.
Suddenly, about fifty guns emerged from different spots on the Gundam and started firing huge lazer blasts.
The rings broke apart and vanished, and Barney's angry eyes glowed darkly as he flew into the air again, reaching the cloud level and clawing at the Gundam.
But it fired such a huge wave of energy back that Barney was driven away, unable to hurt him.
The Gundam created another energy sword and leaped forwards to try and cut Barney in two.
He caught the sword just in time and tried to press it away, energy crackling through Barney's fingertips...
Barney finally got hold of the huge thing and swung it away, letting it fall into through the cloud banks, but his energy was depleting more and more.
He gathered a ball of thunder and threw it with deafening force at the Gundam, but the Gundam simply ignored the strike, as it did no damage at all, and the Narrator's cocky laughter echoed while the Gundam moved forwards to cut Barney's tail off.
Barney roared, his tail dropping below and vanishing.
Green and black blood dribbled out of the wound, as, driven by evil vengeance, Barney shredded a large corner of the Gundam's foil, but got a huge swat from one of the hands in return.
He floated in the air, glaring and ready for the next attack, and he got it all right...the Gundam flew forwards, smashing into Barney with a sickening crack and the sound of breaking bones echoed down to the land below.
Barney spat some more flames, but the Gundam raised an energy shield and smashed Barney with it, sending him down to the ground below.
The Gundam opened all his energy cannons and focused them on the falling dinosaur, prepared to end his reign of evil...when suddenly something huge and powerful hit the back of the Gundam, sending it spiraling through the air for a minute.
It flew up higher to see the new enemy..and saw it, all right.
Two Barneys, both with their tails attached. The tail had regrown into a new Barney, while the other Barney had regrown his tail. Both growled and laughed evilly as they flew up, power redoubled and ready to win.
NO...this is looking bad...
The Narrator/Gundam commented, raising his sword and shield to try and fend off the immensely powerful monstrosities.
One Barney simply bent the sword in half, while the other broke the shield into a thousand shards of emerald-green energy and destroyed the large mantel that had created it, throwing it away into a volcano once it was shredded.
The Barneys simultaneously smiled evilly and one rammed the Gundam in the stomach, hard, as the other flew onto it's head and started shredding in.
Suddenly, out of the blue, the head started glowing blue.
The Barney on the head only had time to widen his eyes as the head explodey...er exploded...with the force of a nuclear bomb, reducing Barney to a few particles of dust.
The head quickly returned, and all the damage sustained by the Barneys instantly healed.
The Gundam brought back an arm, and Barney only had time to curse once before being hit by a huge first and sent flying.
Barney stopped in mid-air, hovering and glaring.
That's right! I'm at maximum power now. You've forced me to draw out all my reserves, and for that you will die...
The Narrator's voice intoned from the Gundam, and the Gundam flew even higher up, aiming at the powerful Barney.
All the lasers focused hard, and then fired...they hit Barney point-blank, and his scream filled the air as his flesh exploded.
The Gundam flew straight down, arms outstretched and ready to finish Barney off, when something powerful hit him in the side, disorienting the systems and blasting the Gundam off-course.
He whipped around yet again to find himself facing a slowly-healing skeleton of Barney.
The Narrator growled.
Barney growled.
They charged at each other and went past each other, something I refuse to name-style.
They slowly looked behind each other and smiled.
Barney roared and exploded, falling to pieces, and each piece disintegrated into flames, and then on and on until he was DEAD.
The Wizard of Oz's mocking voice laughed as he turned around and watched the skull of Barney fade into nothingness.
He had won...right? Not quite...the Narrator turned his attention down just in time to see the other Barney, the one who's flesh had exploded, was already fairly well-healed.
He had replaced flesh with metal to enhance himself, using spare Gundanium that had fallen off in the conflict.
Now Robo-Barney flew up and bared metallic claws.
The cyborg charged at the Gundam, unleashing wave after wave of attacks, each one blocked efortlessly by the Narrator.
Finally, the Narrator created a magical bolt of lightning and drove it through Barney.
He gasped and floated there, impaled through the heard and sizzling.
Then he smiled and started growing...
"OW!" Nny commented as the red thing seemed to attack him, but he shoved it off and found it's fuzzy hide to be inanimate.
He stood up nervously, taking a few steps back.
The thing looked humanoid, a pure light red, very small, and very fuzzy.
Nny slowly worked up his courage and rolled the thing over.
It was...a toy! "Tickle Me Elmo?" Nny asked, picking it up and smiling.
"Why did you hurt me?" he asked it in a very pleasent voice, taking out a knife.
"Now I'll have to hurt you!" he said evilly, raising it high above the doll and jabbing it into the thing's stomach...
Nny was about to begin cackling when he noticed the knife hadn't punctured the hard plastic flesh of Elmo....it instantly started vibrating and giggling with glee.
Nny scowled and kicked it away.
It hit the wall and bounced, shaking harder.
Nny roared and threw the dagger at the toy with all his might.
The dagger sunk into Elmo's flesh, and the laughter died.
Blood started pouring out of the wound, and Elmo gasped in pain. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" it yelled suddenly, grasping the knife imbedded in itself.
It stood up slowly, eyes glowing pure-black.
His voice went down about ten octaves or something and started echoing menacingly. "YOU DID THIS..." he said, pointing at Nny.
Nny nodded happily. "Yes, I did" he said, holding out his hand to shake the bleeding Elmo's. "Nice to meet you!"
Elmo glared and grabbed Nny's hands, then clamped on hard. Nny's eyes bugged out for a second before he was swung into the wall.
"Ow! Damn Elmo! Quit that!" Nny said, rubbing his bruised shoulder as he slid down the wall and hit the floor hard.
"THE NAME'S HELLMO..." Hellmo said, glaring at Nny like a demented Bun-Bun.
He started glowing evilly.
Suddenly, a high-pitched wail filled the air.
Nny looked around curiously, not noticing Robo, who was hiding in the shadows.
"The ice cream truck?" he asked, licking his lips.
Hellmo smiled evilly and shook his head. "NO..." he said, as a scampering sound started to fill the air.
"MONKEYS, ATTACK!" Hellmo ordered, and suddenly dozens of monkeys leaped from the shadows and started pummeling Nny.
"ARGHHHH..." Nny yelled, thrown to the ground by the sudden attack.
He reached for his blowtorch and sent the monkeys to monkey heaven in moments, then stood up and pointed it at Hellmo.
"You're dead now, Elmo!"
"THE NAME IS HELLMO..." Hellmo screamed, started to grow bigger and meaner.
His skin turned shiney and metallic, and he raised his fists.
Thousands of tiny robots poured from his fingertips, moving in towards Nny with a single order: Search and DESTROY.
Well, okay, two orders.
And maybe buy Hellmo a cheese pizza later.
Hellmo laughed evilly as the creatures surrounded Nny, but Nny merely took out a dagger and swung around and around, slashing them all to pieces.
Now Hellmo was angry.
He teleported onto Nny's face and lifted a ninja star into the air. "PREPARE TO DIE!" He yelled.
1Nny shoved Hellmo away, barely dodging, but Hellmo teleported in front of him again and threw.
Nny ducked under it and kicked Hellmo into the air.
Hellmo landed in a pool of magma and vanished below the surface.
Nny breathed a sigh of relief, until the walls started shaking, the magma started bubbling, and Hellmo's voice echoed from below the ground. "I WAS THE GUARDIAN OF THE TOMB...FOR DEFEATING ME, YOU SHALL EARN YOUR DEATH.."
Nny took that as his cue to escape...but he had to get the treasure first.
He ignored Robo floating away with the little pink ball, and ran for the treasure chest.....only to see it open and empty.
He stood there, surprised, for a second, as the floor started to rise up.
Then his eyes narrowed and he raced after Robo, but the floor was rising and the door wasn't....he barely slid into the next room in time as the floor hit the roof with a "click".
"That's a change...the floor rising instead of the ceiling lowering...well, time to think about it later!" Johnny murmered, racing after Robo.
Robo was just ahead, leaving the temple, and Nny reached out to grab the pink thing.....only to feel a cold, fuzzy hand grab his leg from behind and pull him back.
The floors continued rising, and as Robo escaped Nny was still trapped inside, with the detatched arm of Hellmo pulling him back towards certain death...
"Oh, big deal, certain death, I've heard THAT before!"
Certain and EVERLASTING death!
"Noooooooo!"
The cries faded away behind Robo.
Robo rolled out of the cavern, the small pink treasure still being held tight in his robot hand.
Now all he had to do was escape the undergrond passageways, and he would be free to investigate this thing at his leisure.
He rolled away from the closed temple, made one last look back to make sure Nny hadn't gotten out, and started rolling away.
After leaving the huge cavern the temple was situated in, Robo started going up a large slope through small tunnels.
A giant, three-headed dog appeared, but Robo blew up all it's heads.
That got rid of it. Past the dog, a flimy wooden bridge led across some lava.
Lots of Red Bubbles flew up, spitting flames, but Robo crossed the bridge and blew up the chamber, killing the Bubbles as vengeance.
Robo moved on to a huge, smoothed-out chamber where a gigantic serpentine monster lived, and threw a few grenades into it's nose.
That got rid of it.
Finally, Robo went into the large, cavernous opening where a ton of Zubat and Keese dropped down to attack, and fired lasers at each one with pinpoint accuracy, with such force the bats were sent flying across the room even as they evaporated and died.
Robo reached the stairway up to the city aboveground.
And tried to go up the stairs. No use.
He tried wheeling straight up, and fell all the way back down.
He tried blowing up the steps, but they were made of ezthasostine, and reflected not only light but also energy.
He tried using some grenades, but they bounce down the steps, almost leading to Robo's death.
Finally he gave up, sat down, angrily glared up at the light he couldn't seem to reach because of a bunch of damn stairs, and started looking the strange pink ball over.
The face seemed like some sort of grotesque, simple, bizarre cycloptic pig...there had to be some way out, and the treasure was the key...or at least it was in most of the movies, and Robo was getting pretty desperate.
Yawning, he decided to head back and fight some more monsters.
BIGDEVILTHING appeared in a flash of sparks, and died in an equally bright flash of sparks.
BIGGERDEVILTHING crashed into the ground and fell to pieces as Robo blew the ceiling down onto him.
An evil minotaur oni thing with horns and stuff leaped onto Robo and turned to ashes, scattering with the winds.
Another demon tried to attack the yawning Robo and was melted by a high-frequency sound wave.
The writer started getting bored of wasting Fanfiction space, but Robo refused to stop his massacre of evil monster-things.
An evil pepperoni being ridden on by a peper demon was cut in two and fell into the llava pools.
A huge spirit appeared from the ashes nearby, wearing armor and with a large sword.
Robo threw a rock at him and he fainted.
Robo yawned more loudly, trying to attract attention from more evil beings.
Catmouse dropped in from a hole in someone's idea box and landed on Robo's head.
Mistaking Catmouse for a demon, Robo threw Catmouse into the ceiling, impaling him on a stalagtite or stalagmite, I can never tell!
The list ran on...Robo breezed passed the resurrected Pepper Demon, his lack of sense of smell allowing him to easily shove the beastie back into the lava.
An evil, giant big chunk of iron flew at Robo and melted into a puddle of iron by the time it had reached Robo, staining him badly.
However, the super-heated metal started frying Robo's curcuits.
"No! Beaten by an inanimate evil object? This reeks of a Ditto Fan Battles!" Robo roared, his sensors starts to break apart.
A big Golem made up of little golems attacked Robo, and the enraged robot broke him into a thousand pieces and fried him, totally ignoring their screams for mercy in a monotone voice.
Robo started to fix his systems, but before he was completely fixed some STUFF attacked.
The STUFF bubbled and hissed, burning through the stone itself and leaving a thin acid trail.
The swampy STUFF rose up and prepared to attack Robo...
Robo started running away, hiding behind a giant stone man but accidentally melting him again.
Robo needed desperately to fix himself, and turned to the pig-thing.
But to no avail, the STUFF prepared to strike...and burned right through the ground, plunging into the lava and dying...or did it?
The STUFF melted even the lava, and continued falling into oblivion...
Robo yawned complacently, whrring back to the entrance of the cavern now that all the monsters had been defeated.
"Well, I've used up a lot of space in this fanfic to make it seem long. I've also gotten a lot of easy experience from random monsters from other Versions who migrated to the underground catacombs. Best of all..."
Robo's eyes would have glinted dramatically like Yoda's if he had real eyes.
"...I now know what this treasure is..."
He held up the pink sphere.
"It is..."
Derik yawned. It had been seven long, long chapters of waiting around while the author put off this chapter as long as possible.
Now, at last, it came.
"Yes!" Derik said, cheering. "Is the Aqua Portal up?" he asked expectantly.
Fortunately for the last few remaining straight jackets, they had run out of cigarettes and stopped commiting suicide.
One of them, the fiftieth-or-so leader in the last hour, shook his head. "No. The Lime Version and Red Version portals are still the only ones left. We'll have to resort to drastic measures."
Derik gulped again. "How drastic?"
After a brief scene switch, Derik found himself stepping towards the Red Version portal in a spacesuit.
The air tank was kept on the ground, with a long tube connecting to Derik's suit, like a diver's.
Heck, that might even be the same as an astronaut does. I don't know!! I'm not an astraonaut, or however you spell it!! Lemme alone!
Err...anyway, Derik continued gulping. "So, what am I doing again?" he asked, having missed everything that had happened during the brief scene switch.
"We explained it to you already!" the straight jacket explained. "NO TIME NOW!" he yelled, shoving Derik into the Red Portal.
"Go!" he yelled. "And grab the Decoypuff!"
Derik squeaked in fright as he fell into a blinding shower of red light.
Ahead, he could see some sort of plain...but as he approached it, the red light vanished very suddenly, leaving Derik drifting in a black inky pool of ebon abyssal darkness.
Derik gulped again, sweating inside the cramped suit designed for space monkeys.
A few pinpoints of light blinked in the distance, too far away to be made out.
Derik suddenly felt something scrabbling against the back his suit.
He squeaked, swatting at it, but it was gone. Derik paddled uselessly in the dead air.
The temperature was slowly starting to drop, and the pinpoints of light were the only things he could make out in the dead realm.
Derik tried to find something to quick at, and found himself pushing off something small and round.
Derik screamed, paddling harder.
He knew about the legends of the Doompuff, of course.
Powerful, immortal monstrosities evolved from normal Jigglypuffs.
That was why every Jigglypuff had been expelled from Light Version long ago, forcing many frusterated trainers to travel to other Versions to complete their Pokedex...most never returned from the evil grasp of the Doompuffs.
Of course, the Doompuff had always found a way to survive, in any way possible.
Even with the Jigglypuffs exiled from Light Version forever, Kirby had taken their place easily, growing stronger and stronger as it devoured more and more.
Derik slowly turned around...and found himself staring into the bloodshot eyes of a red Jigglypuff.
The monster bared huge fangs and leaped at Derik MHE.
Derik screeched, spinning around in space as the Doompuff reached out an innocent-looking fist and grabbed Derik's throat.
Derik struggled against the Doompuff, kicking and punching slowly, but the Doompuff's rubbery hide deflected the blows with ease.
Red Doompuff opened it's mouth wide, and lifted Derik up.
Derik felt a splitting pain as he started bending backwards.
The Red Doompuff lifted him up with both arms, then brought him down on his knee...
Derik's vision started fading "This is the end..." he gasped.
He'd be broken in half for sure...then suddenly, something strange happened.
The Red Doompuff let him go!
Derik, bruised and battered, was facing in another direction and didn't have the strength to turn around, but he could hear the sound of the rabid Jigglypuff's fists smashing something around.
Derik finally spun around enough for to see what was happening.
Red Doompuff was bashing around a feeble, battered and very fake-looking Doompuff-copy, totally deflated and without any life in its form.
Derik smiled slightly, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
"The Decoypuff!" he gasped quietly, and started floating slowly behind Red Doompuff, trying to avoid it's evil gaze.
He reached out a hand below the Red Doompuff...and found his wrist snapped by a spare blow from it.
He screamed, drifting back into space. Apparently the creature's huge eyes easily caught sight of him....now what?
He'd just have to use his Pokemon...Derik reached for a tranquelizer gun and aimed it at Red Doompuff's back.
He fired a single dart at the balloon Pokemon's back. It buried itself in the creature's back, and the creature immediately stopped moving, floating around, it's back still turned to Derik.
Derik waited with his breath held....after a minute, nothing had happened.
He sighed in relief, then screamed as the Red Doompuff reached back and snapped the tranqelizer dart in half.
It whipped around, glowing with an evil crimson light.
The monster launched itself at Derik, who fired dart after dart into the thing's face One struck it in the pupil, and the critical hit made it recoil long enough for Derik to scream more, then it removed the darts and continued forwards very very slowly in the abyss.
But Derik couldn't move at all.
He frantically pressed some buttons on his suit, and suddenly started flying above the Puff.
"Jet thrustors, YES!" then he started flying towards the Doompuff's mouth.
"AHHH NO!" he whipped around , flying the other way.
The frusterated 'Puff picked up it's speed.
It would soon catch up with Derik, and then everything would be over.
Derik needed to get the Decoypuff and get out of there NOW.
He blasted past the Red Doompuff, and was rewarded with a cracked rib, a minor blow surely but enough to spin him out of the way of Decoypuff and nearly knock him unconscious with the pain.
He spun around again and fired towards Decoypuff, but now Red Doompuff was right behind the decoy and moving towards it fast.
Even if Derk managed to grab the Decoypuff, he'd be eaten by Doompuff a second later.
Only one chance...Derik fired a few more darts at Doompuff, the last of his supply, stunning it for a second.
Then Derik reached out and grabbed the weak plastic Decoypuff, and spun himself to dodge a deadly karate-chop strike from Doompuff.
Doompuff roared and opened it's mouth wide.
"MUHH-TROP-LUHS!" it declared, launching itself onto Derik and opening it's mouth to sink it's fangs downwards...
Derik quickly activated the ESCAPE button, and then jetted backwards.
He couldn't see what happened, but a few seconds later he was laying on the grassy field of Light Version by the platform, breathing hard.
He was too exhausted to even ask how he'd gotten away, which was good because the author didn't have a clue.
The straight jacket nodded. "You've done good, kid. Time to make a Doompuff."
He reached out and grabbed the Decoypuff, who was conveniently already named DOOMPUFF.
Then he grabbed a gas pump, attached it to the balloon, and began pumping up the new Jigglypuff...
Setting:
Player: Eric, Mental Hospital Escapee [Record: 9-7-3] Last Battle: Win vs. Giovanni (Battle #21)
MIKE: YOU LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE!!!
Uh...who are you?
MIKE: *sigh* The name's LDragon, but that's not important...
You don't look like a dragon.
MIKE: JUST READ THE LINES!
GYARADOS: *sigh*
AHHHH! BIG AND SCARY!
GYARADOS: Moron, I'm just a Weedle who was nicknamed oddly.
Oh. Well, hi.
ARGH! TAKE TWO!
TAKE THREE!
DOOMPUFF: >_<
Hey Doompuff, that face looks really creepy in html code with all the color changing and...
TAKE FOUR!
MIKE: ARGH! YOU SPELLED IT WRONG!
What?
GYARADOS: SHUT UP, IT DOESN'T MATTER! LET him spell it wrong!
MIKE: But...but...
TAKE FIVE!!!
MIKE: Exactly what Ash never got around to doing! Training for it!
Sounds good to me. Let's get crackin' guys!
Allies HAUNTER and GYARADOS are loafing around!
1
GYARADOS: ARGH! NARRATOR!!
What?
GYARADOS: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SPELL IT WRONG!!! >_<
...well, sheesh. Just give ME a script, too.
NARRATOR recieved SCRIPT!
Better. Take six....
But...but...we have the Earth Badge...they CAN'T disobey us ... can they?
Allies HAUNTER and GYRADOS are literally loafing around, snacking watching TV...
Oh...
MIKE: Well, if they don't think they can't handle the training...
Allies HAUNTER and GYRADOS give in to reverse psychology!
Ok, let's go!
SOMEONE is off in the distance!
MIKE: Ah, a wandering trainer perhaps? Perfect practice!
SOMEONE collapsed!
Huh?!
ERIC and MIKE ran over!
This dude is messed up! Bruises, shredded clothes, cuts and scrapes...and it all looks so real!
FANBOY: ERIC!
MIKE: ERIC!
MY NAME IS DERIK!
HAUNTER: Argh...
*sigh* Take seven.
This dude is messed up! Bruises, shredded clothes, cuts and scrapes...
MIKE: Turn him over.
ERIC turned him over!
SOMEONE is FANBOY!
ERIC and MIKE scream!
MIKE: Someone beat the crap out of Fanboy!!!
Ally HAUNTER points to FANBOY's POKeBELT!
What a Pokebelt?
FANBOY: ALL RIGHT, SO WE HAD A CHEAP BUDGET!
Looks like a sausage to me.
FANBOY: Err...
Take EIGHT!
Ally HAUNTER points to FANBOY's POKeBELT!
What is it?
MIKE: All six of his "Pokemon" are fainted!
gulp!
...was that the webmaster?
*sigh* Actions are green in Light Version. Just change it a bit...
NO! I WON'T HAVE MY MASTERPIECE RUINED!
It's Eric's masterpiece, technically.
o.o Wait a sec...you're the Webmaster? And you've found us ALREADY? *meep*
DOOMPUFF: Heh. No, it was me ^_^
DECOYPUFF! ARGH!!! TAKE NINE, DAMMIT!
gulp!
FANBOY: It's...after me...don't let it...bite...
FANBOY fainted!
ERIC and ALLIES are scared!
SOMETHING is coming down the trail!
ERIC: Uh-oh! Could it be what creamed Fanboy?
Ally GYRADOS suggests not hanging around to find out!
Other allies agree!
Can't get away!
ERIC: Oh no...
EVIL RABID DECOY OF DOOM appeared! Err...I mean...take ten x_x
EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM appeared!
ERIC: What the hell would that look like?
EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM looks like... THIS!
ERIC: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THAT THING'S SCARY!
MIKE: Which one?
ERIC: ...
GYARADOS: Heh.
gurk! Wrong link!
HAUNTER: Gurk???
TAKE ELEVEN!
GYARADOS: Huh?
MIKE: ...what?
...
Dang.
FANBOY: Heh.
That always works on the X-Files. Oh well, take twelve.
EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM looks like... THIS!
ERIC: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THAT THING'S SCARY!
ERIC and ALLIES are hiding behind a boulder!
Ally GYRADOS says it's just a JIGGLYPUFF!
Ally GYRADOS says it can't be that tough, and it's certainly not what defeated FANBOY!
ERIC: I guess he's right, we'll...
RABID JIGGLYPUFF kicked BOULDER in half!
ERIC: EEEKK!!!
RABID JIGGLYPUFF used ROAR!
ERIC and allies are terrified!
ERIC: Kingler, I choose you!
Go, TRANQ DART!
ERIC: ...oh yah, forgot my Pokemon-props.
RABID JIGGLYPUFF facefaulted!
ERIC: Be right back.
Take thirteen when Eric gets back.......Thirteen's unlucky, right?
ERIC and allies are terrified!
ERIC: Kingler, I choose you!
GO, KINGLER!
ERIC: Kingler, Crabhammer attack!
KINGLER used CRABHAMMER!
Enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF caught the attack!
ERIC: Huh?
Enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF used POWER CRUSH!
KINGLER was severely CRUSHED!
KINGLER fainted!
MIKE: Go get'm JIGGLYPUFF!
ERIC: Jigglypuff, use Cute!
MIKE: YOU STUPID! That's MY Pokemon! I'm supposed to command it!
ERIC: Uh...but that's what the script says.
MIKE: ...it does? It does.
GYARADOS: Yep.
MIKE: Uh...'kay.
And so, we take fourteen. It goes on and on...
Ally MIKE sent out JIGGLYPUFF!
ERIC: Jigglypuff, use Cute!
JIGGLYPUFF is CUTE!
It doesn't affect enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF!
Enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF used RABID BITE!
MIKE: OH NO!
JIGGLYPUFF evaded the attack!
MIKE: Jigglpuff, use Take Down, Rage, and Mega Punch!
JIGGLYPUFF used TAKE DOWN, RAGE, and MEGA PUNCH!
It doesn't affect enemy RABID JGIGLYPUFF!
MIKE: Oh sh...
HAUNTER: AHHHH! STOP!!!
MIKE: Huh? What?
HAUNTER: You fool! Don't read that part! Saying that word in Light Version is like an INVITATION for the Webmaster to appear and make a * to hide the vowel! Like in the second Live Battle, and anywhere else a curse word is uttered! OKAY?
MIKE: Oh, I get it.....I think...
HAUNTER: It's like, for example, saying 'Jason is stupid' in a
HAUNTER suddenly was struck by lightning, brutally murdered, turned inside-out, and exploded!
HAUNTER died!
ERIC: I see your "point". Hehehe.
MIKE: Oh, great. Where are we going to get a new ghost Pokemon?
ERIC: I guess he had a real "gas", didn't he? Hehehe.
DOOMPUFF: I think it's "blast".
ERIC: Yah. And now he'll never be able to have a "ball". Hehehe.
GYARADOS: Uhh...riiight...I think my friend Marvin can play the part.
ERIC: Speaking of parts, we'd better...
MIKE: Find him QUICK!
ERIC: Now Haunter will never rest in "peace". Hehehe.
GYARADOS: I will!
ERIC: I suppose I should have lent a "hand" to Haunter. Hehehe.
MIKE: STOP IT! Your ridiculously random jokes are driving me crazy!
ERIC: Really? Then I guess I'd better find you a "doctor". Hehehe.
MIKE: Shut up.
ERIC: Okay.
Take fifteen...
JIGGLYPUFF fainted!
ERIC: Pokeball go!!
The enemy's really strong! Go get'm DIGLETT!
ERIC: Diglett, dig underground, it's your only hope!
DIGLETT dug a hole!
Enemy RABID JIGGLYPUFF used EARTH SHAKING!
DIGLETT fainted!
Is there ANYTHING that this thing can't do?!
MIKE: Well, it is the Evil Rapid Jigglypuff of DOOM, I imagine it's something like a Horseman of the Apocalypse.
ERIC:
