|
: : a r c h i v e s : :
Old stuff. Lots of old stuff. Read, and be happy (or something like that).
1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 |
16-20
|
¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨
Battle #11: I
Got Your Storylines Here! Get Your Storylines! Just Spend Half of Your Brain Power and You
Get a Storyline!
February 8th, 2001
Location: Moonlight Version's "Drawing Board"
Player: Skyler
(Author: Skyler)
SKETCHES of THINGS such as a BLOODY U and SOMEONE who looks like PIERCE BROSNAN and BOB
BARKER fighting ADAM SANDLER and a RUBY RING are SCATTERED throughout the ROOM!
Ugh, this won't work...oh, Hiya, Narrator...
Heya...what's up?
Oh, nothing...just trying to come up with a storyline...four BQ
stars...I thought I'd never see the day -_-;
Maybe SKYLER should write FUNNIER battles!
Well maybe DEB should WRITE! PERIOD!
NARRATOR scolds SKYLER for his use of CAPS!
;_;...I'm sorry...I'll never do IT again!
THAT's IT! NARRATOR can't take anymore of YOUR LIP!
NARRATOR used SEND!
SKYLER was SENT to his ROOM!
But...but...I...
No BUTs, young man!
But-
Go.
I-
GO.
...Okay...
Location: Skyler's Room
SKYLER sulks into his ROOM!
You followed me HERE, too?!?
What did I say about caps?
...Just let me do my work, Dad...er...Mom...er...whatever the hell you
are.
Okay.
...aren't you gonna leave?
NO!
Er...Okies...
PAD of PAPER and PENCIL appears!
Ooh...thanks...now...let's see...there have been battles starring
indirectly everything in my room...a Navi plushie? Eh...Mah computer with IRC on it...a
giant novelty pencil...an N64...my Matchbox Twenty CD...mah new SNES...mah James Bond
movies...all the plushies...and that Ruby Ring. Dunno where that came from...
SO?
So, why not use my room for more inspiration?
There isn't ANYTHING in your ROOM!
Eh...
And besides! I thought you were trying to get a storyline!
Hm...I'll need a character...one that either talks funny...(LA-EEK
NEENJLOR!)
Aye, ye should, sir...
Come on, that Irish Accent is annoy...ing...
LIGHTBULB appears above SKYLER's head!
THAT'S IT! NARRATOR! PLEASE MAKE THE DRUNKEN IRISH NUTCASE!
Caps...
Eep...sorry..
DRUNKEN IRISH NUTCASE appeared!
DIN: Eh? Aye, what be I dooooo*hic*ooooin' heeere....
You are...
LONG LECTURE on POKEBATTLES occurs!
DIN: Ooh...me hears a giant disembodied voice...*hic*..me must be drunk...
Did you just listen to a word I said?
DIN: Mommy? Is that me mommy? Give ye son a hug, mommy...
DIN hangs onto SKYLER!
Eep o_o;...er...Perhaps this was a bad idea...
Naw, I think he looks good on you as an accessory.
...You're disturbed
I know n_n...now...we need a battle...so...SBP appeared!
SBP?
STIFF BRITISH PERSON!
Oh...eep...uh oh...I know where this is going...
SBP is DISGUSTED by DIN's appearance!
SBP wants to fight!
DIN wants to drink!...er...fight!
Hn...I guess the winner of this fight becomes a regular character?
Sounds like a plan...uh...DIN used BURB? Bleh, that's sick...
I mean...It's super effective!
SBP fainted of DISGUST!
Er...that was quick...
DIN wins, I guess...which also means that DIN becomes a regular
Moonlight Character...joy -_-;...Any more characters today?
Eep...you need I have to write more? No chance! I'll let Deb come up
with the next Moonlight character...
DIN: *hic*...yay, me's found me place on a version....now...
Ready to leave, Narrator?
Yeah, let's go...
SKYLER and NARRATOR leave!
DIN: Fwhee hee hee, now I can take off my ridiculous disguise...VWHEE HEE HEE!
DIN is really...
Discover who Drunken Irish Nutcase really is on the next Moonlight Battle!
???: ...But I'm not-
QUIET, YOU!
???: ...fine.
Good. Now I will dance while the battle fades out. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO!
???: ...Can I dance, too?
NO! Only I may dance
???: ...Who are you?
I am the person who ends the Liquid Version battles. Liquid's dead, I moved here. NOW
BOW TO ME AS I DANCE FOR YOU!
???: ...If only I could reveal myself now.
DON'T YOU DARE! THAT WOULD MAKE ME A LIER!
NARRATOR appeared!
NARRATOR punished LIQUIDBATTLEENDING DUDE for using CAPS!
LBD died a horrible amazing death!
Fine, I will dance to my death.
Just shut up and die.
???: Good thing that's over. Let's go.
Fine. BATTLE used END!
BATTLE ENDED!
Battle #12: Mwha...I
bet you want to know who ??? is. Well. TAKE A GOOD LOOK!
February 25th, 2001
Location: Wherever ??? is
Player: ???
(Author: Skyler)
...can I reveal myself yet?
Not my call.
Fine...I...AM...KEFKA! VWHEE HEE HEE!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It's the most obvious thing in Pokebattles
History! Stare in Awe at it's obviousness! It's so very obvious that-
Do shut up. Now...
Uh, may I ask you WHAT you plan to do in Moonlight Version?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the version.
Ooooh, that's it. Ah, okay...er...wait a second...
Well, I don't know how I'm going to do it without any army...Hey, Giant
Red Voice, do you know what the leaders of this world are deathly afraid of?
ME! MWHAHAHAHA!
Note to self: No narrators when I rule the world. Vwhee hee hee.
...I can't let this guy do this! Must get to Deb and Skyler's cast-ERK!
NARRATOR was struck from behind with...the fist of a Sock 'm Bop 'm Robot? AIIIIIEEEEE!!!
NARRATOR is DEAD!
VWHEE HEE HEE! Now, to use this Narrator Fabricator to make a narrator
biased towards me! VWHEEHEEHEHEHEE!
KEFKA-RATOR appeared. VWHEE. HEE. HEE. WHAT. ARE. YOUR. ORDERS.
SIRE?
I want you to kill the leaders of this world.
KEFKA-RATOR needs. names.
...I don't know who they are! Just find a large castle and destroy
i...t....Oh boy.
LEADERS appear. LEADERS. were. renamed. Skyler. and. Deb.
AHA! Just who I was looking for! You both do know you are going
to die, c'rect? VWHEE HEE HEE!
DEB. was. given. white. text. Skyler. was. given. green. text.
You two really ARE getting annoying, did you know that?
Who. me?
I expected more than THIS from you, Kefka. Of course, following
Gehstal's orders all the time must have crushed your creativity. I understand.
But...I...you...he...we...they...It...
Joy, now he's screwing up his pronouns. This was a bad idea, Skyskys.
Oh, just quit the chit chat and FIGHT MY SOCK M BOP M ARMY!
You know, I'm reeaally starting to get scared now. Oh may gawd! Oh may
gawd!
You ARE Kidding, right?
Of course.
Good.
SMBM ARMY. used. Unison. Punch.
What the...*BOOM*
NO! YOU SON OF A..........How could you? She's unconcious...
VWHEE HEE HEE! ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO! SOCK M BOPS! Use UBER PUNCH!
SMBM ARMY. used. UBER. PUNCH.
OH NO! I CAN'T LET THIS HAP...
SKYLER. has. died. a. death. worhty. of. Matt. Beswick. Let's. just.
say. he's. dead.
Ugh..that was a...SkySkys? SKYSKYS? NO! YOU BASTARDS!
BLAHDKJFAKDSJKLAJD.
KEFKA. used. HANDCUFF. Deb. was. taken. capture. KEFKA. WINS.
AGH...No...must...protect...Moonlight...WEBMASTER FABRICATION!
DEB. used. WEBMASTER. FABRICATION. NEW. CHARACTERS. WERE.
FABRICATED. CHARACTERS. were. WATT. and. LAKISTER. from. PAPER. MARIO. BATTLE. ENDED.
SKYLER. is. DEAD. VWHEE. HEE. HEE
Battle #13: I'm Dead? Aw, Damn
it... (GOD: Whatever you say!) ...Bah
February 26, 2001
Location: Subway to the Astral Plane
Player: Spirit of Skyler
(Author: Skyler)
...I died...I died. I DIED TRYING TO PROTECT MY
VERSION...and I failed...Waaai.
SPIRIT of the NARRATOR appeared!
SPIRIT of the NARRATOR sits next to SKYLER on the SUBWAY TO THE ASTRAL PLANE!
You were Moonlight's narrrator? Why is your text green?
Because I don't have Narrative Powers after death. Only our God
does.
Er, yeah, what religion do you follow?
...Isn't it obvious? Narrativism! Why do you think I was a narrator?
...I was ordained as a priest of Narrativism on December 29th of last year...which turned
me into a narrator.
And December 29th is when Moonlight Version was born...Now, why
are you shaped in that form? You look like an eighth grader.
Don't you read your own battles? In ML Battle 5, you revealed that I
was an eighth grader!
Ah, okay. So, what's your name?
Chris. Just Chris.
...o_O;...er...What do you call your god?
Jeff.
...uh...Really..
CONDUCTOR: NEXT STOP, NARRATIVISM! ALL NARRATORS GET OFF HERE!
Up, that's my stop. Gotta go, Skys...Let's just hope that we
can get back to Moonlight Version..Baaai
Baaaaai...
CONDUCTOR: CHRISTIANITY! ALL CHRISTIANS, NEXT STOP! JEWS, GET READY,
YOU'RE NEXT!
Christianity...well, I've eaten that bread, so I guess this is
my stop...Okay...
SKYLER steps off of SUBWAY TO THE ASTRAL PLANE!
You're still here, Chris?
Hey, I'm your Narrator, thought I have no real power, I'm here to
tell readers what you're doing.
Ah, the first time a narrator did what the dictionary defines it as.
SKYLER reaches a SPLIT in the ROAD! SIGNS say TO STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
and TO BULLET TRAIN TO HELL!
Well, we know which one I'm going in
SKYLER heads towards BULLET TRAIN!
O_O;
No, just kidding n_n
...Way to Stairway to heaven...Alright. Ooo, steps are purdy
SKYLER begins to climb steps!
Whoo, phew, whoever knew getting into heaven would be such hard
work? I thought they'd have escaltors by now! It's been 2001 years since the place
opened...
SKYLER reaches PURDY GATES!
Ah...finally...Ahem...*knock knock* Anyone home? Hello? ...Where
the hell is everyone?
GOD appears!
EEP!..er...Chris, why is your text red?
That's not me!
THAT is RIGHT! GOD is a NARRATOR!
How did I know this was the way it was?
Perhaps your mortal mind is not ready for me yet. I
will explain to you through my son...
...Sure.
JESUS appeared!
JESUS was granted WHITE TEXT!
Thank you, father...
...er...that's weird. You sound like a god person
would, but you look exactly like Deb..
I took the form of a man back...in the year 1, but
up here, I take the form of the heart's greatest desi-
ACK! QUIET, YOU!
...Did you just shush me?
SKYLER just SHUSHED you!
O_O...er...Chris, if I go back to that bullet train,
you follow. You're tied to me as my narrator.
He's got you there.
Stay outta this, Jesus.
You are SO lucky you are a narrator. I can't send
you away without sending this one.
Uh...anyway, Jesus, is there anyway for me to,
like...get back to Moonlight Version?
JESUS scoffs!
OH, come on, pleeeease? I need to save Deb!
Oh, don't worry, she'll be up here soon.
Oh, fine, that's goo...er...WAIT A MINUTE! THAT WOULD
MEAN SHE'D DIE!
Yup. That Kefka person, he's going to hell, but
right now, he has your "world" in a stranglehold. Deb did manage to create two
new inhabitants to protect it, but...They aren't doing much.
That's because the only narrator in my world is that
damn Kefka-rator, and he's biased towards Kefka!
And I want my red text! I control in a fair and
balanced manner!
Really? You put a tumor in my head in ML#3! You snapped
at IRC in ML#4! ...You laughed at my class in ML#5! You killed a spoon in ML#6!...
...Uh...That was to be funny! I'm a Pokebattles
narrator!
Fine, I'll give you that. But, Jesus, please, if ML is
destroyed, you'll be flooded with people up here!
Aiie, that IS something to concider...Tell you what.
I'll give you the equivelent of TEN Moonlight Battles to kill Kefka. If you fail, you will
spend eternity in hell. That goes for you, O One of Green Text, also.
My God, you-
You called?
Er, tis an expression
...Ah.
Anyway...You'll seriously give me that chance? Thank
you so much, Jesus. I won't let you down.
Alright, Skyler, remember. You have 10 battles to
kill Kefka. If by ML 22, he is not burning, you take his place
SKYLER wets his PANTS!
Quiet, you o_o;
Er, anyway, you need to tell me where you want to
materialize in ML Version.
I want to end up wherever Deb is being help captive by Kefka.
Alright...Dad?
Gotcha covered. SKYLER appeared in the
DUNGEON of SKYLER and DEB's CASTLE!...now called KEFKA'S IMPERIAL PALACE!
Location: Dungeon of Kefka's Imperial Palace
CHRIS...er...NARRATOR has RED TEXT back!
May I still call you Chris?
Uh...SURE!
...OH NO! DEB is chained by her WRISTS to the WALL of the DUNGEON!
Oh, God! Narrator!
CHAINS erode off of DEB's arms!
DEB is set FREE!
Okay, good, now wake up, Deb, please!...You have to!...Please...
Skyler...She won't...
PLEASE!
DEB: ...Uh, not so loud...Mom, just five more
minutes...
Deb, it's me! Please! You're in Kefka's dungeon! Wake
up!...
Can Skyler and Deb defeat Kefka before Moonlight
Battle #22? Will Skyler go to hell, or live to see another year? Our storyline is set.
Stay tuned...
Battle #14: Ketchup and Makeup
March 17, 2001
Location: Kefka's Dungeon
Player: Deb
(Author: Deb)
... *poke poke poke*...
... ow ow ow... >_<
DEB needs to WAKE UP!
I am awake, thank you.
No problem.
... and now I have a bruise. How long have you been poking me? o.O
Ohh... for around two or three weeks?
Agh. Do that again and die!
Oi, ok. DEB is fully AWAKE now!
DEB needs to get out of KEFKA's DUNGEON!
Lemme guess... I've been here for two or three weeks, too?
Yep.
Where's SkySkys?
SKYLER had to go away for LENT!
Oh. Pooh. -_-; Oh, well. Hmm... If I remember my FFVI
correctly... this place should be a large but simple series of passageways and tunnels
that require the pressings of switches and stuff to successfully maneuver through... Lucky
for me, I have my trusty Final Fantasy Anthologies strategy guide!
FFA STRATGUIDE appeared!
Yaaay! Now, lesse... characters... run-through... where's the
map for Kefka's Fortress? o.o
EVIL VOICE appeared!
... voices appear?
Sure, why not?
EVIL VOICE: Vweeheeheee...
Oii... not him...
EVIL VOICE: Vwee, 'tis me! FEAR AND BOW and other acts of
submission brougth about by my utterly fearsome presence and stuff! VWEHAHAHA!
EVIL VOICE renamed KEFKA!
KEFKA holds up FFA MAP(x1)!
Agh... and he managed to snag the one for his palace, too. I
thought the Narrator was on our side. ;_;
Er... oops.
Bah, you suck.
KEFKA: Vweehahhehe! Looking for this!
Yes.
KEFKA: Do you want this?
Yes.
KEFKA: Do you fear me?
No.
KEFKA: ... why not?
Because you are kawaii. o_O;
...
KEFKA: ...
DEB thinks KEFKA is KAWAII?
Yes! All tiny and pixelated and colorful. ^_^ Kawaii, ne?
... heeeeey... If he's just a little square of pixels...
KEFKA: *cough cough* Back to business! You must fight me for
it!
Why should I? I can figure my way outta here on my own.
KEFKA: Err... Because! Vweehee!
Move out of the way, little man, I've got a version to save!
KEFKA: Gaahh... GUARDS!
SB ROBOT appeared!
SB ROBOT appeared!
Ack, forgot about those things... Evil Sock'm'Bop robots!
I'll get you for what you did to SkySkys!
KEFKA: Vweeheeheee... Defeat them and I will give you your
little map back!
Fine, for I have something that can help me defeat
these evil minions of yours... I have...KETCHUP!
...
KEFKA: ... oi, vweehee...
SB ROBOTS want to fight!
Hahahaha! Bring it on, feeble little plastic things!
SB ROBOT sent out SB ROBOT!
SB ROBOT sent out SB ROBOT!
DEB sent out DEB!
Come and get me... mwuahaha...
SB ROBOT used SOCK!
Fuzzy Sock! ph33r! -> http://i.am/fuzzysock!
It's super effective!
... advertizing my homepage is effective? o.O
DEB is looking at FUZZY SOCK!
How is that eff-- oooo... sock... fuzzy fuzzy, kawaii! ^_^
SB ROBOT used BOP!
FUZZY SOCK was BOPPED!
Fuzzykawaii-- HEY! It's not nice to bop socks! YOU DIE NOW!
DEB used KETCHUP!
FRENCH FRIES appeared!
FRENCH FRIES go great with KETCHUP!
... Um... ok...
DEB put KETCHUP on FRENCH FRIES!
FRENCH FRIES are all CHARGED UP!
o_O;;
FRENCH FRIES used SPUDSPEAR!
SB ROBOTS' JOINTS were SPEARED!
It's super effective!
SB ROBOTS are PARALYZED!
KEFKA: ACK! Stupid robots! Vweeheehee!
Mwuahaha... NEVER bop fuzzy socks, or you will pay. ^_^
DEB used CHARGE!
KEFKA was CHARGED ¥100,000,000,000!
KEFKA facefaults!
KEFKA: I don't have that kind of money! ... and how do you charge that much? You haven't
done anything for me!
I have no idea, either, Kefka-chan. o_o;; But pay up, or I'll
mess up your make-up and clothes with my handy ketchup!
KEFKA: AIEEEE!
KEFKA faints!
... yay! Gotta get my maps back!
DEB used SEARCH!
DEB found FFA MAP(x1)!
Mwuah... Now, off to find my way outta here! And maybe I'll
find Skys...
Will Deb find her way to freedom? Will Skyler be able to join
her? Can Kefka be stopped? Why is the currency in PokèBattles always in ¥? Find the
answer to all these questions and more... someday!
Battle #15:
...I'm BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
March 24th, 2001
Location: Kefka's Casteel
* Ditto36 eats his own name, puts castle there ...Kefka's Castle
Player: Skyler
(Author: Skyler)
SKYLER appeared?! HE'S BACK O_O;
SKY SKYS!! SKYSKYSKY!!
* BubbleTape tackle hugs SkySky
...BubbleTape? Oh, right, Deb. Greetings to you, too. Now, what
happened since I've been gone? WHAT WHAT WHAT?
Moonlight version got to 3rd
O_O!!! YAAAAY!!!
Uh huh. And Deb got the map to the castle.
Ooo...good, now...let's get out of here!
Skyler...there's a problem with this map.
What's that?
Your hamster just chewed it up. BUT ISSOKAWAII! But he ate the
map...BUT ISSOCUUUTE!...The map...KAWAII...the map...AIIIE!! I can't choose!
DEB is CONFUSED!
Hoooo, boy...
DEB prepared to smash HAMSTER in her CONFUSION!
ACK! NO! DON'T SMOOSH JUB-JUB!
Jub-Jub? AWWWWWW!! KAWAII!...BUT HE ATE THE MAP!
JUB-JUB used RUN ON WHEEL!
Hee hee, that should do it.
O_O!!! KAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*bzzt*
...Whoops, we broke her o_o;; Uh...let's see...This means I'm going to
need a new webmaster o_o;;
...Skyler, she's not dea-
Who should we get, whooo should we get...
SKYLER, I-
...I'VE GOT IT! NARRATOR! Open a portal from Lavender Version!
Oh, god, not...
Come on! I've got some purple jello to meet!
...Fine. PORTAL FROM LAVENDER VERSION appeared! DITTO walked out!
Ja? Va!...What the Donut am I doing here?
*BZZZZT*...AAAAAAAAII! Hamster so cute on wheel ^_^;
Uhm...what?
Told you.
Mmm...Hamster...
Eat it, and I murder you. Oh, and did I tell you
that Jub-Jub'll eat anything?
...Not as much as Me...Zzzz...mmm, yummy Zzs.....How
about I fight that donut-colored thing to see who can eat more...Ja...I'm hungry
Fine. Go, JUB-JUB!
ISSO KAWAII ^_^
...Uh, Deb, go play with...that giant hamster wheel
with a fuzzy sock hanging outside?
...FUZZY SOCK.
DEB runs around on GIANT HAMSTER WHEEL trying to get
FUZZY SOCK! JUB-JUB began eating!
Jaaa...Must eat. Mm...Jub Jub looks like donut...
DITTO used EAT!
DITTO attempted to eat JUB JUB!
Whoops! I forgot to mention! Jub-jub's favorite food
is GRAPE JELLO!
Mmm...jello tastes good...but...hey!
JUB JUB begins gnawing on DITTO!
Hey, what...Jub...ow, quit it...
JUB-JUB swallowed DITTO!
HAH! Now use EXCRETE!
...Ew.
Just do it.
Fine...JUB JUB used EXCRETE!
Ew, Ja...Why the donut is my text BROWN?!
...EW
...EW...Jub Jub issokawaii...BUT EW.
EWEWEWEWEW. Jub Jub wins due to EWWIEness O_o;
Ugh, go wash off, and you can join the ranks of the
Moonlight Webmasters.
Ja, ew, Ja.
Wait...we did nothing in this entire battle other
than get a new webmaster...and we don't have a map any more, either...Oi...End it,
Narrator.
Ugh, I'm too grossed out -_-;;...Ugh, fine,
Battle ended.
|
