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¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ ¨ Battle #16: ...What's this? ML updates!May 20, 2001 Location: Dungeon of Kefka's Castle Player: Skyler (Author: Skyler) ...Whee, I'm back. It's taken almost 2 months, But I have returned! 
Battle #17: Jello It's your own fault, Debs. I told you to write earlier, but did you? Noooo... Bah, fine, I'm sorry. But since we've had a week to think about it, escaping shouldn't be too hard, should it? Uhh... ... we have been planning this in our idle time, right? ... ... gah. NARRATOR wants to get out! Hey! Look at that conveniently placed escape hatch! CONVENIENTLY PLACED ESCAPE HATCH appeared! Yaay! Now, if we just open this conveniently placed escape hatch which should already be unlocked because it's conveniently placed 'n stuff, we can get out! DEB used OPEN! CONENIENTLY PLACED ESCAPE HATCH is, um... locked. ... Narrator, why don't you just go with what we tell you? You wanna get outta here, too, don't you? NARRATOR points to the PA SPEAKER on the WALL! ... Ohh, so that's how he does it... Just open the door! Please? NARRATOR can't just do that! BATTLE would be cut short! What battle? ... hmm. If you're somewhere else, just find the place with the button and push it! Ok? ... fine. SCENE SWITCH! Booya! ...booya? o.O Location: Place with the Button Thing NARRATOR appeared! Hey look, Debbies, a slinky!
May 30, 2001 Location: Garbage Crushing Dealie Player: Skyler GARBAGE CRUSHING BEGAN! BAH, NARRATOR, FIND THE BUTTON! I CAN'T FIND IT!! BAH, YOU'RE A NARRATOR, COME UP WITH SOMETHING!! I'M ALSO THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN USE CAPS AND !'S! ...sorry... Okay...now I can concentrate... Narrator...the slinky's getting cruuuushed! Nooo...not the sliiinkiiieeee TENTACLE-MONSTER2 appeared! Booya! That'll keep them busy for a while. SCENE CHANGE! Setting: Narrator Place Uh...now...what to do... *sniffle* You still here? We. just. got. a. call. from. George. Lucas. You mean he called back about changing the text in the beginning to red? No. ...well, will he agree to my idea about adding my voice to the beginning? I can do it really well! "A long time ago, in a galazy..."...baaah! He. says. that. one. more. resemblance. to. Star. Wars. and. he. comes. in. and. shuts. you. down. DAMN, that quote sinches...wait...I can use this to my advantage. You, go back to Kefka and say nothing. Yes. sir. SCENE SWITCH! Setting: Garbage Crushing Dealie WAAAH! We're all gonna die...gonna die...squisshie...AND I NEVER GOT MY JELLO!!!! Eh, here, Deb, take this suction cup and play with it while I think of something. OOOH! Suction cup! Stick Stick Stick! Whee! Bleee...Sticky sticky suction cups! Yaaay! o.O;;...er...okay...Narrator, got anything? Yes. Just sit there. You killed Tentical thing? ... Good. ..MAN in WHITE ARMOR appeared! What the heck? ...Hey! YOU KILLED FETT-SAMA! DIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!! SKYLER manages to hold DEB back! Good. Now who is that? MAN IN WHITE ARMOR was renamed HANS OLO! Oh, that's why she was going nuts. But isn't it Han Solo? NARRATOR whispers his PLAN to SKYLER and DEB! Oooh, good one... SKYLER was renamed NICK SKYLERWALKER! DEB was renamed PRINCESS LOIA! ... Wait, wait... Narrator... PLAN does NOTHING!...damn...wait, I've got it...BEEPING AND SPEAKING appear- Sounds appear? PRINCESS LOIA was given more SUCTION CUPS! Yaay... Okay, let me try this again...BEEPING AND SPEAKING appear from RANDOMLY APPEARING COM-LINK attached to RANDOMLY APPEARING UTILITY BELT attached to NICK SKYLERWALKER! GEORGE LUCAS appeared!...yay, my plan worked! LUCAS: ...Okay, this is it! You people sicken me! I'm shutting down this scene. Everyone out! We'd love to, but the door doesn't open. LUCAS: Of course it does! Look at this, there's a button right here, dammit! GEORGE LUCAS opens the DOOR! NICK SKYLERWALKER and PRINCESS LOIA escape! LUCAS: Hah. No one will EVER infringe on MY copy- GARBAGE CRUSHING THINGIE used CRUSH! MWHAAAAHAHAHA! HANS OLO and GEORGE LUCAS are CRUSHED! YAY! The battle can end! ...er...No... Why not? YOU decided to write this Doubly-lengthed. Ah. Okay. Scene Change! Setting: Kefka's Computer Room. Player: Kefka Wheee...The Sims are fun ^^ Vwhee hee hee! KEFKA. RATOR. returns. So there you are. Did you find them? ..Yes. I. Did. Good. It seems you have disposed of them. Actually. Sir. They. Defeated. Me. ...Damn. I guess a biased narrator isn't enough...Wait..Kefka-rator, can you hook this computer up to Narration Fabrication Station? ...Ack. Shun. Sound. Overload. Narra...shun...Fabrica...shun....sta...shun...shun...*BZZT* ...I'll do it myself...Yellow....red...white. There. Now...The Sims. ...blah, I'll do it myself. KEFKA went on the SIMS! Hey, I'm good at that. Okay, I make ...Skail-Urrh and D-Urrh-B ...SKAIL-URRH and D-URRH-B were born from the NARRATION FABRICATION STATION...eeeh....he's right, too many SHUNs... Hel. Lo. Mas. Ter. Yes. How. May. We. Serve. You. Bah, it's even worse than Kefka-Rator. Okay, Kefka-Webmasters. I want you to do what your predecessor couldn't. Kill Deb. And keep Skyler away from me, he's dead anyway. Vwhee hee hee! I. want. Suc. tion. cups. I. want. hen. tai. DAMMIT. They're Sims! They need everything, bakadamn! Will this little thing foil Kefka's plans? Will Nick Skylerwalker and Princess Loia ever get their names back? ...DEB: I WANT MY JELLO.
June 17, 2001 Setting: Place Outside Garbage Thing Player: Skyler (Author: Skyler) ...w00t? ish! Shut up, it's the best I can think of. But what's the point of it? ...wait right there! I've got another idea...actually, follow me. We're going up to Kefka's room-place-thing. Okay! Sounds fun! Suspense, Suspense, my control over everything in this version for some SUSPENSE! Setting: Kefka's Room-Place-Thing Wow. That was fast. So fast that if we had to leave, then we wouldn't be able to easily trace our way back. ...at least humor me about the suspense? ...I mean..ah...OH! WOW! THAT WAS SO FAST- Shove it. Hen. tai. In. cu. bus. C. D. s. MUST. GET. O.o;; What the hell? KA. WAII. ZERG. LING. Vwhee hee hee! !!! KEFKA! THERE WE GO! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY SUS- Of course I'm going to be here. It's my room. Duh. ... Release your iron hand control over this version NOW DEB wants to FIGHT?!? A FIGHT IN MOONLIGHT! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY! Now it's your turn to shove it. Kay. I wanna fight, too. Go, D-Urrh-B! I'm standing right here, doof. ...I meant the robot. Whee...KEFKA also wants to FIGHT! KEFKA sent out D-URRH-B! ...might as well make it one on one. I choose myself! Did you just say you played with your- O_O!!! PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH! I don't see any! D-Urrh-B! Use ..Zerg thingie! D-URRH-B used ZERG THINGIE! GIANT ZERG ran over DEB?! ACK! VWHEE HEE HEEEEEE!! Return, D-Urrh-B! And go, Skail-Urrh! Graag...My turn! Skyyys...it hurts...we need to retreat... ...I guess you're right. Let's g- Woo-tish. WTF? o_o;;...OW! IT EVEN HURTS TO MAKE THE FACE ><;...OW. ;_;...OWWW! Deb, stop before you give yourself a hernia. A what? Nothing, let's just- WOO-TISH. What the hell's your problem? Woo-tish! You're whipped, Skyler! I'LL WHIP YOU! SkySkys... Woo-TISH. SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I BASH YOUR LITTLE PIXELED FACE IN! Woot- l33t-er appeared! AAAH! O_O!!! AAAH! O_X.....OWWWWW Vwhee hee hee, another evil villian to ally with me to destroy Moonlight! L33T-ER: w00t? Aw, he even has his own catchphrase...wish I had one, vwhee hee hee. L33T-ER: w00t? ...you die now. SKYLER bruttally murdered L33T-ER! L33T-ER: w...00...t *|)13z* GRAAARGHAJKDLJAFKS!!! SKYLER ran ..rather insanely, AWAY! Gah, SkySky, wait upp ;_;...ow... DEB hobbles after SKYLER! Oh, no! She's very very gradually getting out of reach!...Oh well, we'll get you next time, Gadget...er...I mean, Webmasters. Vwhee hee hee. BATTLE fizzled OUT!
Moonlight Battle Battle #20: I'm the Cute One June 23, 2001 Location: Take a guess o_O Player: Deb (Author: Deb) Run, run, run... Gragh! Stupid... OW... clone... OW... Debs, do you, um... think you should be running like that? Why shouldn't I? ... you've been trampled by a giant Zergling. o_O; So? ... OW... That stupid clone must DIE! ... ow... And Kefka... ... oh, and him too... Maybe we should try a more tactical plan instead of just running around chancing random encounters with him and his little cronies. Screw that, I WANT BLOOD... that isn't mine! Er... Are you ok, Debbies? Yes, why? You seem a little... erm... bloodthirsty. o_o;; That's because I am bloodthirsty, SkySkys. Ah, ok. Run, run, run... Wheeefun! DEB and SKYLER arrive at the OMINOUSLY DARK and STORMY PINNACLE of KEFKA's FORTRESS! Ominously dark and stormy? Hmmm... If my years as an RPG player have taught me anything at all, this should be where-- Hey look, there's a sandbox! SWEET! O_O And look! A disco ball! And Pringles! Look at all those tubes... He's living like a god! And in our version, too... He's got some nerve, the evil clown-like person of evilness... KEFKA: Clown? Gah! Clown!!! Narrator! Sand, pringles, sparkly light-- err... KEFKA appeared! Vweeeheeeheee! Grrr... First you come here and try to take over, and then you kill SkySkys, and now you've taken up valuable Moonlight Version land to make your pretty little sandboxy disco ball-filled pringle playground type thing? No one stopped me so I figured it was ok. Well. NOW YOU DIE! DEB wants to fight! Yes! DIEDIEDIE A HORRIBLE DEATH LIKE THE STUPID YANKE-- Skys. -- erm... Die! Vweehee... You forget that I have the key to your destruction! That being? That shiny red button over there. SHINY RED BUTTON appeared! Psssh, a shiny red button. What could that do? It's so pretty and shiny and red and pretty... SHINY RED BUTTON was renamed TRIGGER MECHANISM FOR AN UNDENIABLY PAINFUL AND AGONIZING APOCALYPTIC END TO ALL IN EXISTANCE! ... oh. Eeep. o.o And not only that, but I control your evil Sim-ish clones! VWEEHEEEEEE! CLONE BAD! CLONE MUST DIE! GRARRR!! DEB still wants to fight! Oh fine. KEFKA wants to fight! KEFKA sent out D-URRH-B! RARRRRR!!! >8D ... OWOWOWOW! D-URRH-B: Ha. Ha. Ha. You. Cannot. Win. But I haven't done anything yet. D-URRH-B: Oh. Yes. Grr... You got me with a Zerglie last time... IT'S PAYBACK BABY! Go, Probe! DEB sent out PROBE! What the - THAT dinky little thing is going to defeat D-urrh-b? Bwuahaha... You've yet to see the power of the Probe. Probey! Use your Particle Beam! PROBE used PARTICLE BEAM! Nearby MINERALS were CUT into NEAT LITTLE CHUNKS! D-URRH-B: Aww. How. Kawaii. Yes! Look at it carry the minerals around! ^_^ D-URRH-B used STARE! D-URRH-B is MYSTIFIED by the UTTER KAWAIINESS of PROBE! Bah! No! Don't look at it, hit it or something! D-URRH-B lost its TURN! Bweehee... Now see that pretty little piece of mineral, D-urrh-b? D-URRH-B: Yes... Want it? D-URRH-B: Yes... Then go get it! Probe, toss it like a cute wittle Probey! PROBE used TOSS! PROBE tossed MINERALS over the side of the ROOF! It's super effective! D-URRH-B used FETCH! D-URRH-B fetched MINERALS! Vweee! Your stupid little trick did not-- D-URRH-B is PLUMMETING towards the EARTH! ... aww, damn it. D-URRH-B: Waaa. aaaaa... aaaa... iiii... sploosh. Sploosh? o_O D-URRH-B fainted! I can't even see her from up here... BWUAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT, SUCKAH! I KILLED YOUR STUPID LITTLE SIM PERSON! HOWDAYA LIKE THEM APPLES?! Owowowow... ... I still have Skail-urrh. ... oh yeah. Well... owow... I guess you're up, Skys. o_o; Bwuahaha, I'll kill his ass so hard-- Whoops, LOOK at THAT! BATTLE has gone on LONG ENOUGH! But-- Nah. I've-- Nope. Plea-- Nuh-uh. ... Join us next time for.. another battle! Oh, nice end line. NARRATOR cares not for your INSOLENCE! Grr....
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