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The Saga Concludes
The Final Poké Battles Fanfic
Part One
Posted December 31, 2000 @ 9:00 P.M. P.S.T.
>> Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, Earth
>> December 27, 2000 :: 1100 hrs
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Ding?" asked one of the many crew members aboard the Titanic II military vessel. He was referring to the large mass of swirling colors which the ship was now heading toward.
"Of course I'm sure!" replied Ding Chávez angrily, "And you will address me by my proper rank while aboard my ship. Understood?" The crew member shrugged.
"I apologize, Lord Chávez. I have just been especially worried, since I don't have a name and thus am probably an expendable character." Ding's anger faded.
"I understand, generic crew member," he replied, "But do not worry. Everything is under complete control. Nothing could possibly go wrong." The nameless crew member suddenly went white.
"P- Please don't say such things. I fear that a terrible fate will befall us if you utter such phrases."
"You make a good point," Ding told him, "But there is no need to panic. This ship is unsinkable! Besides, everything is going according to plan…" The crew member shrieked and ran away, covering his ears as he did so.
"What a useless crew member," muttered Ding, "I certainly can't have him as my right-hand man. No, I need someone who actually has a name…" Ding's eyes searched the ship, noting that most of the crew members looked identical to one another, with one notable exception. One man facing away from him was wearing a cape that was as dark as night.
"Anyone wearing a cape that can be described through simile must be an important character," reasoned Ding. And he was proven right when he suddenly recalled the name of this mysterious figure.
"Wakuiseno!" he called out. The man turned slowly and deliberately to face him. Ding motioned for him to join him at the bow of the ship.
"I want you to be my right-hand man," Ding told him as he approached, "Are you up to the task?"
"Wakuseino," was the only reply he got.
"Pardon me?" asked the confused Ding.
"My name. It is Wakuseino." Ding raised an eyebrow.
"I am aware of that," he answered, trying to keep himself from strangling his soon-to-be trusted ally, "I called you here because you are the only crew member here who isn't nameless."
"You misunderstand. You called me 'Wakuiseno'. That is not my name. It is Wakuseino," explained Wakuseino.
"Fine!!" said the frustrated Ding, "I say it's a dumb name anyway." It was now Wakuseino's turn to raise an eyebrow.
"Isn't your name Ding?" he asked.
"That's right. You have a problem with that?" Wakuseino smiled inwardly.
"No sir," he answered, "I was just wondering."
>> The Void, Between Red Version and Earth
>> December 27, 2000 :: 1115 hrs
Meanwhile, in the void between Red Version and Earth, two round, pink figures were discussing their future plans.
"MUHHH-TRRROP-LUHHHHHSSS!!" screeched Red Doompuff.
"DOOM!" interrupted the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom, also known simply as Doompuff, "I HAVE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU SAYING THAT REPEATEDLY FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS! WHY DON'T YOU LEARN A NEW WORD??" Although the two Doompuffs were constantly at each other's throats (despite the fact that they did not in fact have any throats to speak of), they were getting along considerably better than they had when they had first been imprisoned in this void between worlds. When they had first arrived, they had devoted all of their energy toward killing one another. By now they both realized that it was futile, as the two of them were undefeatable, rendering fighting each other pointless.
"...DOOOOOOM…" sighed Red Doompuff. Considering that the 'puffs had gone the past half a year without eating anything, it was no surprise that their energy was waning.
"DO NOT BE SO DEPRESSED. DOOM! CAN YOU FEEL IT? THE PORTAL WORLD IS WEAKENING. WE MUST DEVISE A PLAN FOR WHEN WE ESCAPE!" suggested Doompuff. Red Doompuff floated silently in the empty void, waiting to hear Doompuff's master plan. "I FORESEE TWO POSSIBILITIES," began Doompuff, "WE MAY BE RELEASED BACK IN RED VERSION. IF THAT IS THE CASE, MY GOAL WILL BE TO RETURN TO AQUA VERSION. RED VERSION IS YOURS TO DO WITH AS YOU PLEASE."
"MUHH-TROOOOOP-LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHSSSSSS!!" shouted Red Doompuff excitedly.
"YES, METROPOLIS WILL BE YOURS," Doompuff conceded irritably, "BUT DO NOT FORGET THE OTHER POSSIBILITY."
"PUFF?" asked Red Doompuff.
"IT IS POSSIBLE THAT WE WILL BE RELEASED INTO EARTH. THE REAL WORLD. IF THAT IS THE CASE, WE CAN DESTROY THE ENTIRE POKé BATTLES UNIVERSE MUCH MORE EFFICIENTLY, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT WE CAN DINE ON THE WEBMASTER HIMSELF."
"DOOM!" squealed Red Doompuff excitedly.
"WE WILL NEED TO FIRST DESTROY THE WEBSERVER THAT POWERS THIS UNIVERSE. THAT WILL WEAKEN THE WEBMASTER SO THAT HE WON'T HAVE ANY POWER OVER US." Red Doompuff nodded excitedly. The swirling colors around the two Doompuffs suddenly began to shift and change more rapidly.
"IT IS BEGINNING," said Doompuff with a sinister grin, "WE WILL SOON BE FREE OF THIS INFERNAL PRISON…"
>> A hundred yards west of 'Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean', Earth
>> December 27, 2000 :: 1120 hrs
"Iceberg, right ahead!" yelled out a panic-stricken crew member.
"That is not an iceberg, you moron! That is the portal that connects Red Version to Earth!" replied a disgusted Ding Chávez.
"It looks like an iceberg to me, sir!" protested the crew member as the ship closed in on the portal's position.
"Listen, crew member," said Ding slowly and deliberately, "Icebergs do not float in midair while swirling and changing colors!"
"B-But… th… this one is, sir," stammered the nervous crew member. Ding finally couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed a nearby chair and slammed it into the hapless crew member, who reeled from the blow and stumbled overboard, dying before he even hit the water.
"Extras are so easy to kill," observed Wakuseino. Ding nodded in agreement.
"All hands on deck!" he announced to the remaining crew members, who seemed to have no reaction to one of their comrades being killed, "It is time to activate the portal-opening laser cannon!" The crew members scrambled to set up the large device which Ding had taken special care to load onto the ship early that morning.
"Might I ask where you learned how to build a portal-opening laser cannon?" inquired Wakuseino as Ding kept a careful watch of the inept crew members.
"It was simple, actually. I spent months trying to figure out how to build such a device before I thought of simply Asking Jeeves," he answered.
"And that worked?" asked a surprised Wakuseino.
"Not exactly. But Jeeves did find a concise encyclopedia article on portals for me. I was able to figure out the rest from there." explained Ding.
"I am… disgusted and impressed at the same time," said Wakuseino.
"You have no idea how often I hear that…" mused Ding.
"Sir, lord Chávez, sir! The preparations are complete, sir! Sir, sir!"
"Stop saying 'sir'," ordered Ding, "And proceed to activate the portal-opening laser cannon!"
"Sir, yes sir!" said the crew member as he went off to complete his task.
"Has it ever occurred to you that opening this portal might cause the destruction of the entire world?" asked Wakuseino. Ding snorted.
"If the world ends, so be it. It's a small price to pay to get my son back." Wakuseino reflected on this for a moment.
"No it's not. That's ridiculously overpriced! How will you survive without a world to live on?"
"Do not question my authority, Wakusneio!" shouted Ding suddenly.
"Wakuseino."
"SHUT UP!" Ding was moments away from throwing Wakuseino overboard when a loud noise shifted his attention to the portal. The portal-opening laser cannon had been fired, and the portal had opened. Within seconds, a pink object came flying out.
"MUHHHH-TROOOOPPPPPP-LUUUHHHHHHHHSSSS!!!" screeched the excited Red Doompuff as it proceeded to snap in half and devour the various generic crew members. Ding laughed with glee.
"Hurry, Wakuseino! While the crew members are being devoured, we must get to a lifeboat and make good our escape!" Ding warned. Already, Red Doompuff had chewed through half the crew. Wakuseino simply chuckled.
"That's the coward's way out," he stated simply, "The truly skilled simply teleport." With that, Wakuseino spoke a single word, "…" and vanished.
"Hmph. If I ever meet him again, his arse is grarse. Wait, that doesn't sound right…" Ding's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a loud "DOOM!" behind him. Ding nervously turned to meet Red Doompuff.
"Now now, Doompuff… I am the one who released you. You wouldn't destroy your savior, would you?" Red Doompuff simply bared its fangs.
"MUHHH-TROP-LUHHHSS!" it yelled as it sank its fangs into Ding's lungs. As his body was crunched to pieces, Ding had one final thought as his life faded into nothingness.
"Owwww…"
Red Doompuff then proceeded to snap the Titanic II in half, sending the ship beneath the waves...
>> View/Post Comments on Part One
Part Two
Posted January 1, 2001 @ 9:00 A.M. P.S.T.
>> Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins, Red Version
>> December 27, 2000 :: 1125 hrs
Doompuff surveyed its surroundings. Red Version was just as it remembered it. Moments earlier, Doompuff had defeated the Red Version narrator, ensuring that no more battles could ever take place. Red Version could only exist in fanfic form from here on in, and not for much longer at that.
"DOOM." said the Red Doompuff to itself, "AN INTERESTING TURN OF EVENTS. THE PORTAL WAS OPENED FROM BOTH SIDES AT ONCE. FINE. RED DOOMPUFF CAN HANDLE EARTH, WHILE I RETURN TO AQUA VERSION." With that, Doompuff stomped away in search of victims.
>> Grassy Field of No Return, Red Version
>> December 29, 2000 :: 1400 hrs
Several of Red Version's surviving heroes held a meeting at the portal shrine to discuss their tactics.
"Run away!" suggested Da Evolution Man excitedly.
"I agree, we should be running," said Lord Sloth.
"Not an advisable strategy," noted Garry Kasparov, "Forcing an opponent to retract their position means that they have just wasted two of their moves. They'd be better off going on a suicide run in that scenario, am I correct?"
"What's Kasparov doing here??" asked Emperor Sloth, "Isn't he one of the expendable characters? And wasn't he already killed??"
"You're thinking of Chuck Woolery," pointed out Kasparov.
"It doesn't matter," said Poké Man in a heroic-sounding voice, "Kasparov is correct. To retreat now would be to give up the only edge we have."
"We have an edge??" asked Eric MHE nervously. Poké Man nodded.
"Of course we do. Doompuff doesn't know where we are, so we can use that to our--" he was suddenly cut off by a loud "DOOM." behind him, followed by the feeling of fangs seeping into his invulnerable flesh.
"Arrrrrghhhhh, not again!!" he yelled as the Doompuff snapped him in half.
"Run away!" Da Evolution Man repeated his strategy, and this time there were no arguments. Everyone scattered as Doompuff hungrily chewed on the remains of Poké Man.
>> Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins, Red Version
>> December 29, 2000 :: 1415 hrs
Beto Chávez emerged from his hiding spot behind the remains of a wall of Lord Sloth's former castle.
"I can't believe my luck!" he exclaimed, "Not only did Doompuff pass me by, but it didn't bother to seal the portal when it came here! The path home lies right in front of me… and I will finally be able to get my revenge on the Webmaster for doing this to me. He will die by my hands!" With that, Beto sprinted for the portal, and leaped in.
"Hmmmm…" mused Immortus, watching from his own hiding place on the other side of the field, "I didn't realize how evil Beto truly was until I heard him saying all his plans aloud just now. The Webmaster may have made himself my enemy, but he was a good friend of mine. Death shall not be his fate. The immortal soul approached the portal, but his attention was caught by a red object on the ground.
"A Poké Ball?" said a surprised Immortus as he picked it up off of the ground, "How unusual…"
>> Somewhere in Nevada, Earth
>> January 1, 2001 :: 900 hrs
Red Doompuff had been having the time of its life over that past few days. It had snapped in half and devoured tens of thousands of people, and instead of running away, it seemed that the people of Earth kept meeting to fight it. Dozens of tanks, helicopters, and soldiers provided Doompuff with a constant stream of delicious food. But at the moment, Doompuff was alone in an apparently vacant parking lot. Hungry as always, Red Doompuff searched the area for something that might provide it with sustenance He soon spotted a striking figure wearing a crimson-colored robe and a crown emerging from a sewer grating. Red Doompuff drooled hungrily.
"MUHHH-TROPPP-LUHHHS!!" yelled Red Doompuff at the stranger, who didn't even flinch.
"No, my name is CrimsonKing. I would appreciate it if you addressed me as such. And don't even think about using that as a pun and calling me 'Such', because you will die for it." Red Doompuff paused, taken aback by this stranger who didn't fear it at all.
"CRIMMMM-SONNNN-KIINNNNNNG?" it asked. CrimsonKing nodded.
"Are you proud of yourself?" asked a disgusted CrimsonKing, "You're the least funny thing ever to come from Poké Battles… you know this, right?"
"CRRRIIMMMM-SONNNNN-KIIIIINNNNNG!" Red Doompuff screeched as it bared its fangs. CrimsonKing rolled his eyes.
"You are such a cliché," he said irritably, "Do you really think that people find you funny anymore??" Red Doompuff paused.
"MUHHH-TROPPP-LUHHHHS!!" it repeated.
"You really suck, you know that?" Red Doompuff suddenly felt as if it had been physically attacked.
"MUHHH…?" CrimsonKing snickered.
"You heard me, Doom-thing. You suck. I'm gonna go register doompuffsucks.com - catch ya later." With that, CrimsonKing walked away, leaving Doompuff dumbfounded.
"CRIMMM.. SOONNNNN… KIIINGG?" A single tear formed in the eye of Red Doompuff.
>> View/Post Comments on Part Two
Part Three
Posted January 1, 2001 @ 3:00 P.M. P.S.T.
>> Southern California, Earth
>> January 1, 2001 :: 925 hrs
Beto Chávez had been swimming through the Pacific Ocean for the past few days, and thus was somewhat tired when he finally arrived at land. However, his desire for revenge continued to press him onward.
"Must… kill… Webmaster… must… kill… Webmaster…" chanted Beto repeatedly as he stumbled in the direction of Poké Battles HQ. Suddenly, a familiar voice from behind him pierced Beto's droning thoughts.
"Beto! Where have you been all this time!?" a stern voice admonished him. Beto turned to face none other than Scoutmaster Dave.
"You don't want to know," said Beto in a sinister tone that made the scoutmaster recoil momentarily.
"What about the other scouts?" asked Scoutmaster Dave, "Where did the rest of your troop go?" Beto slowly raised his head to look the scoutmaster in the eye.
"They're all dead," he answered ominously. The scoutmaster was furious.
"How can you let your entire troop die?? I'm very disappointed in you, Beto. I'm revoking your life-preservation badge and suspending you from the Boy Scouts for three day-- urrrk!" Beto's Swiss army knife found a home in scoutmaster Dave's gut. The helpless man slumped to the ground as his blood poured onto Beto's hand. Beto grinned.
"Poké Battles has changed me, scoutmaster," he said to the corpse on the ground in front of him, "I am no longer the starry-eyed young lad who went off to war with Doompuff. I am now evil, maniacal, and ready to kill at a moment's notice!"
"What are you still talking to me for?" asked Scoutmaster Dave's lifeless body, "I'm dead, remember? You killed me!"
"Shut up, or I kill you again," threatened Beto. The corpse remained silent. Beto launched into a fit of maniacal laughter.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…."
>> The Hills, Red Version
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1015 hrs
Da Evolution Man panted breathlessly. He stopped to rest under a nearby Tree, too tired to noticed that it was spelled with a capital 'T'. As he sat there resting, an ominous voice spoke to him from within the Tree's branches.
"Da Evolution Man, listen well to my words of wisdom…" began the voice. Evoluman leaped up and got into his fighting stance.
"Oh, so it's a fight you want, eh? Bring it on, Leafy!" The Tree stood motionless.
"You… are not listening to my words of wisdom," observed the Tree.
"Ha! I am rubber and you are glue!" retorted Evoluman, "Anything you say will… oh wait, you're not glue…"
"That is correct. I am not glue. You are well on your way to attaining true wisdom." spoke the Tree, "There is an ancient prophesy that must be told. Will you listen?" Da Evolution Man finally relaxed.
"Alright, fine… but you better not waste my time. For I am none other than… DA EVOLUTION MAN!" The Tree sighed, although to Evoluman it simply appeared that the wind had rustled its leaves.
"There is an ancient prophesy that states: In the time of greatest need, a man will rise to save a foreign culture. My brothers and I have discussed what this could mean, and I now believe that I know the answer."
"…?" said Da Evolution Man thoughtfully.
"This world is coming to an end," stated the Tree, "Even if Doompuff were to be defeated, without a Narrator this place must whither and die. However, your time has not yet come, Evoluman. You must continue your existence."
"But how?" asked Da Evolution Man, pointing up at the top of the web page he was standing on, "It says right up there that the saga is concluding! Just leave me alone and let me fight this worthless battle!"
"No!!" exclaimed the Tree, "You can live on! There are other worlds with other Narrators! Doompuff is going to use Eric MHE to get back to Aqua Version. You must follow them, Evoluman! You must aid Aqua Version in its time of greatest need, and fight on in the memory of Red Version. Do it for all of my fellow Trees who suffered at the hands of Doompuff. Do it for the Almighty One who gave you your fictional life. Do it for your friends in Red Version!" Unfortunately, Da Evolution Man never heard that eloquent speech. He was already running back down the hill, on a suicide run toward Doompuff.
>> Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins, Red Version
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1015 hrs
Emperor Sloth, Lord Sloth, and Garry Kasparov hid behind a partially demolished wall that once was a part of Lord Sloth's castle. The three of them observed the giant robot NERRA-TORR as it stood diligently in front of the portal, preventing them access to the portal.
"If I could get through the portal, I might be able to warn the Webmaster and save Red Version," though Lord Sloth to himself, "But how…?"
"If I could just get into that portal, I could take over the real world! Then even the Webmaster will bow down to me!" thought Emperor Sloth, "But how…?"
"If only I could make it through that portal, I could play chess against my real-life equivalent on Earth!" thought Kasparov excitedly to himself, "But how…?"
"But how…?" all three of them said aloud at the same time.
"I say we just throw Kasparov out there as a distraction," suggested Emperor Sloth, "While he gets slaughtered, we can sneak through the portal!"
"I like it," said Lord Sloth.
"I think not," protested Kasparov, "I am not some pawn to be used as a sacrifice. What about using that wife of yours, Sloth? She obeys you, right?" Lord Sloth nodded slowly.
"Hnn… yes, that is true. But unfortunately she is out shopping right now. It will be evening before she returns." The three of them returned to thinking up a plan.
"Hmmmmm…." they all mused simultaneously. Moments passed before Emperor Sloth suddenly got an idea.
"I'll just find out what we're going to end up doing anyway!" he exclaimed, withdrawing from his pocket a copy of The Final Poké Battles Fanfic. Lord Sloth muttered something about cheating, but didn't stop his counterpart.
"Here we go," said Emperor Sloth, "It says here that we're going to give up and walk away."
"Huh? Why would we do that?" asked Lord Sloth, "Let's just run at that robot thing screaming and hope one of us gets through."
"Good idea," said Kasparov, "To stay on this world is death. Why not take a chance at getting to Earth?"
"I agree," stated Emperor Sloth, "We charge on my mark. Three, two, o-- aaaah!"
"What? What is it?" asked Lord Sloth, who saw Emperor Sloth looking fearfully at the fanfic.
"Th- the words in the fanfic changed," he stammered, "Now it describes us all dying horribly gruesome deaths." The three of them sat in silence for a moment.
"I say we give up and walk away," suggested Kasparov. The others nodded fearfully, then watched with relief as the words on the fanfic shifted back to the way they were before. With that, the three of them simply gave up and walked away.
>> Geocities Underground Military Complex
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1100 hrs
It didn't take Red Doompuff long to figure out that the sewer grating that CrimsonKing had emerged from was actually the secret entrance to the Geocities Underground Military Complex. Remembering its instructions from the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom, it descended into the heavily fortified complex in the hopes of destroying the Pokebattles.com server. However, Red Doompuff was not enjoying its time underground, as it had been continuously bombarded by non-edible laser-fire, not to mention the various poisonous gasses that were constantly being sprayed at it.
"MUHHHH-TRRRROPP-LUUHHHHHS! CRIMMM-SONNN-KIIINNG!!! DOOOM!!" yelled the Red Doompuff as it slowly but surely closed in on the position of the Pokebattles.com server.
>> Grassy Field of No Return
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1145 hrs
Eric MHE was sprinting toward the portal shrine as fast as he could, thinking only of his home in Aqua Version.
"I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it…" he panted breathlessly. He almost had reached the shrine when Doompuff suddenly appeared in front of him.
"DOOM. YOU WEREN'T GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT ME, WERE YOU?" inquired the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom.
"EEEEEEEK!" screamed Eric.
"TAKE ME TO AQUA VERSION, OR YOU WILL DIE!" threatened Doompuff.
"N- never…" mumbled Eric defiantly, "I'd rather… die than let you back into Aqua…"
"FOOL!" yelled Doompuff, "THIS WORLD MAY END ANY MOMENT. IF WE DO NOT LEAVE, OUR EXISTENCE WILL END!"
"I… I…" stammered Eric. Suddenly, Doompuff was hit from behind by an unusually weak punch.
"Take that, vile Doompuff!" proclaimed Da Evolution Man.
"DOOOOOOM!!!" yelled a furious Doompuff. It was about to devour Da Evolution Man, when the portal to Aqua Version suddenly opened on its own. Thrilled with this change in events, Doompuff floated right through it, dooming maniacally as it did so.
"MUDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM!" The panic-stricken Eric jumped through the portal as well.
"Stop, in the name of Red Version!!" ordered Da Evolution Man as he too stepped through the portal.
"Almighty Webmaster," spoke the nearby Tree in Red Version, "Thank you for granting my wish. Please close the portal now." The portal closed, and the Tree breathed a sigh of relief.
"Now, the prophecy can be fulfilled…"
>> Geocities Underground Military Complex
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1205 hrs
After wandering through the maze of the Geocities military complex for what seemed like an eternity, fighting annoying random battles along the way, Red Doompuff finally reached its target. A huge computer clearly labeled: Poké Battles Server - Do Not Eat indicated that its search was finally over.
"MUHHH-TRRROOP-LUHHHHSSS!" it screeched triumphantly as it snapped the server in half and proceeded to devour it.
...And in that moment, an entire world ceased to exist. The remaining few heroes in Red Version watched in horror as their world disappeared before their eyes. Lord Sloth, Emperor Sloth, The Green Valkyrie, The Yellow Archer, Garry Kasparov, James, Jessie, Rab, Da Revolution Man, and countless others were erased from existence. The only person spared from such a fate was Da Evolution Man, whose existence was transferred to a different server. Red Doompuff wasn't so lucky. With no server available to support its existence, it soon vanished off the face of the Earth.
"Muhhhh…. Trrrooop… luhhhhsss??" it whined pitifully as it faded into nothingness. Meanwhile, both Immortus and Beto raced toward Poké Battles HQ. As long as the Webmaster remained alive, Red Version could be revived. Beto was determined to ensure that such a thing could never happen again.
>> View/Post Comments on Part Three
Part Four
Posted January 1, 2001 @ 6:00 P.M. P.S.T.
>> Southern California, Earth
>> January 1, 2001 :: 1800 hrs
Beto Chávez stood outside of the home of the Almighty Webmaster, smiling inwardly. The sun was sinking below the horizon, and Beto cast a shadow that stretched onto and over Poké Battles HQ. The front door stood slightly ajar.
"...could Immortus have beaten me here?" Beto asked himself, raising his Swiss army knife protectively in front of him. Slowly and silently, Beto creaked the door open. He strained his ears in the hopes of hearing a noise that might give away Immortus' presence. He heard nothing. Beto carefully climbed the stairs. He reached the top, and found himself in a hallway that led forward to a door. The door was labeled "ROOM OF WEBMASTER - DO NOT KILL". Beto grinned and began to approach the room, but suddenly froze when he thought he heard whispered voices within the room. It sounded as if Immortus had already arrived.
"That makes my job harder," muttered Beto, forgetting to think silently. Beto cursed under his breath. Had the Almighty One heard him? A sudden flash of light from within the room of the Almighty One caught Beto by surprise, but it quickly faded.
"What was that??" hissed Beto, "What is going on here??" Once again there was both silence and darkness within the room. Beto cautiously approached the door, and slowly pushed it open. He peered inside, to find a cloaked figure passed out in front of the computer, his head resting on the keyboard. Beto couldn't believe his luck. He crept up behind the Almighty One, barely able to contain his excitement. He raised his Swiss army knife into the air, paused for a few seconds to savor the moment, and….
Immortus raced toward the home of the Almighty One, fearing the worst. Darkness was approaching fast when he reached Poké Battles HQ, and he noticed that the front door was standing wide open. Immortus drew his sword (which had just now conveniently appeared at his side) and raced up the stairs. Immortus burst into the Webmaster's room to see Beto poised for the kill.
"Noooooooo!!!" yelled Immortus as Beto rammed his Swiss army knife home. The cloaked figure jerked violently as blood spewed out of him. Beto laughed maniacally as the body of the Almighty One sank to the ground without a sound. The Webmaster never even knew what hit him.
"Beto!!!" yelled a furious Immortus, holding his sword in front of him. Beto slowly turned toward his new adversary, while a sinister smile played about his lips.
"How does it feel, Immortus?" Beto taunted him, "To have your best friend murdered before your eyes. How does it feel??"
"What are you talking about?" asked Immortus, "I never killed any of your friends."
"I never said you did," cackled Beto, "I just wanted to know how it felt to know you failed. Poké Battles is dead! The Almighty One is dead! The saga has concluded, my friend! And you will be the next to suffer my wrath! So it has been written. So it shall be done. So decrees Beto Chávez! Muhahahahahahahahahaha!!!"
"Blasphemy!" yelled Immortus, "If you have any honor left in you, you will face me now!"
"Hold on, I wasn't finished laughing," explained Beto, "...hahahahahahahaahahahaahahahah!!"
"Shut up, villain!" said Immortus angrily, "And face me like the coward you are!" Beto smirked. He glanced at the screen in front of him, which displayed The Final Poké Battles Fanfic. He quickly typed in an extra sentence.
Immortus suddenly transformed into a mortal soul that can be killed.
"Wh-- what just happened?" asked Immortus, who felt something was amiss.
"You're no longer an immortal soul," replied Beto with a sinister grin, "And with this next sentence I type, you'll be dead!" Beto turned to the computer once more.
"Never!" yelled Immortus, throwing his sword at Beto. Beto ducked out of the way, and the sword clattered harmlessly next to him. Immortus pounced on him in that instant, sending Beto crashing into the wall. Dazed, Beto tried to fight back, but Immortus landed blow after blow upon the helpless boy scout. Beto desperately thrust his Swiss army knife upward toward his opponent. It was a clumsy move, but Immortus took it in the arm and cried out in pain. Having never known pain of any kind before, he was rendered completely helpless by the new sensation. Desperately, Immortus removed the knife from his wound, and clutched his injured arm. Beto picked up the sword that had dropped to the ground earlier. He raised the sword in preparation of finishing off the injured Immortus.
"And now, with this blow, I shall send you straight to hell!!" he announced triumphantly as he thrust the sword downward. Before the sword could reach his fallen adversary, however, Beto was suddenly and inexplicably struck by a bolt of lightning. The electricity traveled throughout his body. Beto collapsed and impaled himself on his sword.
Immortus grunted in pain, but looked around to try to figure out what happened. There, floating in the air, was the RSACi cloud. Immortus suddenly understood.
"Of course… Beto cursed, and thus was punished by the RSACi cloud," said Immortus to himself, gritting his teeth from the pain in his arm. He forced himself to stand, then walked to the computer, where he tried adding a sentence to the fanfic.
Immortus suddenly transformed back into an immortal soul that cannot be killed.
The pain in his arm vanished, and Immortus breathed a sigh of relief. He then looked around him. On the ground lay the bodies of the Webmaster and of Beto Chávez. In the end, their rivalry came to nothing. Immortus' gaze shifted from the two dead bodies on the ground to the computer.
"It was originally my destiny to be the Webmaster of Pokebattles.com…" said Immortus bitterly, "Was this the reason? Was it because only an immortal soul could have survived such rivalry?" He stood in front of the computer, shaking his head sadly.
"A saga has concluded indeed," he said to himself, "Only the original Webmaster has the power to revive what was destroyed, and he is dead now." Immortus stood motionless for several minutes, listening to the quiet hum of the computer.
"But… I am still here," he proclaimed, "And as long as I live, Poké Battles shall not die! His saga has concluded... but now mine shall begin!" With that, Immortus sat down and began to type…
Elsewhere, a shadowy figure watched as events as he had foreseen them came to their conclusion.
"My job is done here, for now," he said quietly, "But the time will come when I am needed again. When that time comes, I shall be ready..."
The End
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A new Poké Battles saga begins this Wednesday in an all-new Red Version battle!
Battle #91: New Genesis January 3, 2001 @ 8:00 P.M. P.S.T.
Published: January 1, 2001
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