HAMSTAR walked into RANDOM HOUSE!
Isn't random house the name of a video company? Am I there? Cool!
...HAMSTAR walked into A RANDOM HOME!
Damn...
Location: Mr. Fuji's House. HAMSTAR used GREET!
Little Girl: Some cold-hearted people stop caring for their POKeMON. Grandpa takes in poor homeless POKeMON and takes care of them.
Thats so kind. This is my dog. His name is Bizkit!
Little Girl: Did you name that POKeMON after the band LIMP BIZKIT?
I name all my pets after famous bands and/or people... And its not a Pokemon... Its a dog!
Little Girl: You're ****ed up the @$$!
Erm... How old are you?
Little Girl: 5. Why the **** do you want to know...?
...
HAMSTAR turned on the RADIO!
[|Places & People |]
PLACES & PEOPLE!
Brought to you by me, DJ Lily!
Err... Doesn't Jolty have a Neopet named DJ_Lily?
JOLTEON 88811 appeared!
Uh huh... Do you have a problem with that? I name all my Neopets after whatever the hell I want...
N-no... Ma'am, your... g-greatness...
Okeez then!
JOLTEON 88811 disappeared!
SKIER ROXANNE
is quite noisy!
CHAMPION LANCE
Is freakin' HOT!
Uhh...
TERRORIST OSAMA
is going to die a horrible horrible death! Bwahahahahahahahaahaaaa!
...
Route 12
is just my type?
PALLET TOWN
|234||y suxx0rz!
How can you speak 1337 over the radio?
ROCKET GRUNT
Is holding a gun to my head! AAHHH!! TEAM ROCKET IS TAKING OVER THE RADIO STATION!
...Does this mean that I'm gonna have to go save the radio station?
NARRATOR nods.
...Damn...
BIZKIT used PEE!
BATTLE shorted out!
And its gonna take about a week to fix that, so come back later as soon as I figure out how the hell Hamstar is going to save the radio station... O.o;;
Battle 14
Location: Some field or something...
Player: Hamstar
Wild HAMSTAR appeared.
Hi. I never knew I existed until now. I'm not a hamster.
Wild HAMSTAR was captured.
Hey! Thats not fair! I didn't even exist a few seconds ago!
NARRATOR laughs insanely.
Where the hell are we going anyways?
NEON VERSION DANCEHALL appeared.
I guess that answers my question...

Location: Neon Version Dancehall

MUSIC appeared.
MUSIC started PLAYING...
With ITSELF!
O_o eep.
MUSIC stopped PLAYING.
Wait a sec... Does this have anything to do with making ME dance?
NARRATOR nods.
GAH! NO!!!
HAMSTAR is going to HAMPSTER DANCE!
But I'm NOT a Hamster!
Thats why HAMSTAR isn't going to DANCE to the HAMPSTER DANCE!
Really? Than what am I gonna dance too?
NARRATOR points to SONG OF THE WEEK.
Crawling? r0x0r!
HAMSTAR won't think it R0X0RZ in a MINUTE.
Oh, I bet I will... Anyways... Lets start!
CRAWLING by LINKIN PARK starts PLAYING.
Hopefully not with itself...
Crawling: CRAWLING IN MY SKIN!!!
WAAAAIT!!
Crawling: What?
I think Narrator should give you your own text colour!
Crawling: I agree. How 'bout yellow?
CRAWLING gets YELLOW TEXT.
Sweeeet...
Okies, lets start!
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN!!! STUFF is CRAWLING in HAMSTARs SKIN!
Gah!
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL!
WOUND appeared.
WOUND used HEAL!
Missed!
That was lame...
FEAR IS HOW I FALL!!
FEAR greatly fell...
I'm not scared!
On HAMSTAR!
Oww...
CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL!
REALITY is confused!
It hurt HAMSTAR in its confusion...
;_; Owwie! Reality sucks!
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface!
STUFF pulls under HAMSTARs SKIN!
If they pulled any harder, I'd go inside out... O.o;;
Consuming, Confusing!
HAMSTAR consumed REALITYs CONFUSION!
HAMSTAR is confused!
Huh? I wonder what happens if I bang my head on the wall! I'm confused! What'll happen!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Oh. That.
This lack of self control I fear is never-ending!
FEAR has no SELF-CONTROL!
It hurt HAMSTAR in its non self-controlledness...
Is that even a word?
It is now...
Controlling! I can't seem...
You can't seem what?
To find myself again...
I see...
My walls are closing in...
WALLS closed in around HAMSTAR!
AAHH! I hate tight spaces!
Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take it!
WATER appeared!
WATER PRESSURE greatly increased!
This can't be good...
HAMSTAR tried to take IT.
IT was re-named DRUG.
O.o;;
There's too much PRESSURE to take DRUG!
DRUG exploded!
Phfft. That was pathetic...
I've felt this way before...
What way?
SO INSECURE!!!
I see... So have I...
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN!!
LINKIN PARK is CRAWLING in HAMSTARs SKIN!
Brad: Ewww... Our songs have become real...
Chester: How the hell are we gonna get out of here?
Joseph: If this is anything like Crawling, his wounds they will not heal... So...
Rob: We can escape through the wounds!
Joseph: Right!
Mike: This is like a bad horror movie...
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL!!
LINKIN PARK escaped through the NON-HEALING WOUNDS!
Chester: If you use one more word from this song, you have to pay for it!
Brad: Yeah!
Thats not FAIR! Oh and... ITS LINKIN PARK!! SWEEEEET!!
HAMSTAR used AUTOGRAPH ASK!
Can I have j00r autograph?
Joseph: If you get on your knees, and bark like a dog!
WOOF!! WOOF!!
BATTLE used END
It did?
Yeah.
Why?
Because JOLTEON 88811 is LAZY!
That works...
Okay, I just ended the battle because I was getting kicked off of the computer, and I couldn't think of anything else. If you want to insult me (Or rate the battle...), then click Here Recap: Very short, and very pointless, but also very stress-relieving for me... Must... Kill... Brother... Must... Kill... Brother... He's on a spaceship hurtling towards whatever version wants him... Doesn't anyone want him!! TAKE HIM!! PLLLLEEEAAAAASSSEE! ...
Battle 13
Location: Neon Version
Player: Ian AKA Link: Jolteon's brother...
BATTLE is being written!
g do u think u stupid butt!
And WHO the HELL might you BE?
u no that biotsh, jolteon 88811, that dumbbum is my sister!
Oh. So YOU are the FAMOUS IAN I've heard about.
call me link or die buttwipe
LINK should learn proper GRAMMAR and SPELLING
dont u bring my gramma into this shes old and she never did nnuttin 2 u!!!!!!!!!
LINK is a RETARD
I noe i m but whut r u? ... wait...
NARRATOR asks LINK how he'd like to be TORTURED
hey da sis is the pyro not me!
DINK... er I mean... LINK should look up TORTURED and GRAMMAR in the DICTIONARY
AHHHHH!! THE DICKS IN THE DICTSHONARY R PING ON ME!! lolololololol!
SOMEONE kill ME...
gladly
Better yet... ANVIL appears above LINK
lololol! that cant hurt meeeeeeeeee!!!!!
ANVIL falls on LINK
AHHHHH!! it toutched my specail area!
Does EVERYTHING have to be SICK with LINK?
yaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
NARRATOR bets it can find SOMETHING that LINK won't turn SICK
good luck
GARDEN HOSE appeared
!!!
Waaiitt... Bad choice...
PLAGUE appeared!
a plague. hmmm........
LINK got SICK
CHEEEEEEEEAAAAATTTEEEERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LINK fainted.
did not u lyer
LINK fainted!!!
DID NOT!!
LINK fainted!!!!
DID NOT!!
LINK... fainted...
DID NOT!!
I SAID LINK FAINTED!!!
DID NOT!!
I... am... going... to... try... this... one... more... time!!! LINK Fainted!!!!!!!
DID NOT!!
Hmmm...
shove it
LINK lost his TEXT COLOUR!
I did not
Did too!
Did not
Did too!
NOT!!!
TOO! Then EXPLAIN why NOBODY can see LINKs TEXT!
d'oh!!
LINK was tied to a SPACESHIP and sent to WHICHEVER VERSION he ARRIVES at!
The End!
Brother's Reaction: If you put that on the Internet I will hack your site. I really can hack! I just don't like to! STOP TYPING WHAT I SAY! MOOOOMMMMM!!!!
Battle 12
Player: Stana Claws
Location: Hell
Another successful Christmas... It makes me sick.
BARF BUCKET appeared
I don't mean that kind of sick... Although Santa's face does make me sick... He's so old... You never look older than 20 when you're evil.
STANA has BLACK hair, and VERY PALE skin, and GLOWING RED eyes.
I already knew what I looked like. Now go get my brother.
SANTA appeared
Ah... Little bother... So good, all the time...
Santa: LITTLE brother? Actually, I am 3 seconds older than you.
Shaddup. Anyways, I'm gonna torture you now, okay, feeble old man.
STANA used CLUTCH OF DEATH! Santa: AAHHH!! My sister's hugging me!! Get it off!! Get it off!!
Eep, I can't believe I just did that...
Santa: Y'know, I think I'm going to be here the whole battle. Can I have a colour?
You do not deserve a colour! But you can have pink...
SANTA learned PINK TEXT
Wow... COOL!!
Yes, well, now I have to go back to torturing you... I think I'll use... YE OL' MIRC LOG ATTACK!
*coughripoffcough* Shud yo face.
(Jolty) Someone say something about Santa that I can use in my battle...
([DB]FireEmblem) Santa?
([DB]FireEmblem) I dunno
([DB]FireEmblem) He's fat
(haunter_uk) Sandy Clause ^_^;
Oh, Stana, I am so offended. NOT! Nyaa Nyaa!
<[DB]FireEmblem> Santos El Halper
Santa, you're over 2000 years old. Start acting like it. And I am still mad at you because of the time when I was 900, and you saved that kids life... I was trying to kill her you twerp!
Haha! I did something you didn't like!! Nyaa Nyaa!!
Shut up you ugly hairy old man! You want to know what people think of you? Look at this!
(The_Green_Shyguy) Santa=Pimp/Perv
(The_Green_Shyguy) Comon, the guy lives in the north pole with no one but ELVES.
Well TGS is getting nothing for Christmas!
Christmas is a stupid holiday! How come nobody liked my holiday where you put up a rock and in the morning you got little squished animals under it?
O.o;;
Don't O.o;; the goddess of HELL!!
Mom is the goddess of hell, ya dumbass!
I can dream, can't I?
SATAN appeared
Satan: \--/
Daddy! Stana's being MEAN to me!
He started it!
Liar!
Satan: SANTA! Don't you EVER tell the truth! Go to your room!
Ha ha.
BATTLE used END
It did?
Yes.
Really?
Yes!
Satan: 100% ended?
YES!
Satan: Okay...
Seeya...
I have some kids to torment...
The End...
I know, I know, what the hell was that?
...
Battle 11
Player: Bill Gates
Location: The Internet
BILL GATES appeared
Narrator. You seem to think you can just summon me whenever you want.
Gee. Maybe thats because NARRATOR can summon BILL GATES whenever NARRATOR wants.
I was very busy doing something!!
Yes, that would explain why BILL GATES is NAKED.
My relations with the X-Box is none of your business...
BILL GATES used NAKEDNESS
Its super disturbing
POKEBATTLES reader may be VOMITING at the THOUGHT.
There is so much about me nobody knows...
BILL GATES should just put on some CLOTHES
Well, isn't it Jolteon's birthday on December 10th? I mean, thats all she's talked about for the past 4 weeks... Well I showed up for this party in my birthday suit.
O.o;;
Yes... Thats right... Bill Gates is standing naked in the middle of the Internet, his shameful area exposed to all of cyber space!
Excuse me, but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!!
N.. Nothing, Narrator... Sir/Madam... I don't know which...
You were NARRATING weren't you!
N... No...
ITS SURE SOUNDED LIKE IT!!
I can assure you, if you lay one finger on my naked rich body, I will sue you!
I wasn't thinking about touching you're naked body, besides, I don't have fingers, I'm just a big ball o' HTML!
Shouldn't you be doing your CAPS LOCK thing, Narrator?
Right. NARRATOR is NARRATING
Gee, ya think?
CLOTHES appeared in front of BILL GATES
How much did these cost?
Erm, they're made out of HTML.
Thus making them free. Am I correct?
...
I WILL NOT WEAR ANYTHING THAT COST LESS THAN $5000 per square millimetre!!
NARRATOR dresses BILL GATES
NOOO!! NON EXPENSIVE CLOTHES TOUCHING MY RICH RICH BODY!! I'M MELTING!! I'M MELTING!!
The only thing MELTING is BILL GATES MOUTH.
What the heck are you talking about?
BILL GATES mouth MELTS SHUT.
Mmpphhh mpphhh mpph!
MWAHAHAA!!
>x<
Aww, poor little RICH DUDE.
-x-;;
Can't run MICROSOFT without being able to TALK, can you?
Mmmmppphhh Mmmmmppppphhh!!
BILL GATES mouth UNMELTS
What were you gonna say?
I want someone to make me an apple pie!!
-.-;;
WRITERS BLOCK appeared
JOLTEON can't think of any more PLOT!
PLOT OF LAND appeared
Plot of land: Would you like to build on me?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Am I the only one thinking sick and twisted thoughts about what POL just said?
...
...
No...
Actually, I was thinking about a new game for the X-Box. You get to be Barney the Dinosaur, and the key to the game is to terrify small children by singing the "I Love You" song...
0.o;;
o.O;;
LIGHTNING BOLT struck BILL GATES for his STUPIDITY
Lightning Bolt: I don't think anyone has to explain that I am an old Neon character.
LIGHTNING BOLT is an OLD SKOOL NEON VERSION character...
I don't think "Neon Version" and "Old Skool" belong in the same sentence. Neon is fairly new.
Lighting Bolt: Shaddup. Old Skool sounds cool...
LIGHTNING BOLT used EVER ANNOYING MAGIC SCHOOL BUS impression.
Lighting Bolt: At my old school, rich snobs didn't tell us how to talk. Hey, wait! They did! They were called "English Teachers"
Its cool, to stay in school!
LIGHTING BOLT strikes BILL GATES
What was that for?
You're a dumbass, and I hate you. Nyaa nyaa, the homicidal Pokemon hates Billy-Boy
DON'T CALL ME THAT!
LIGHTING BOLT chases BILL GATES around the ROOM
The Internet is a room?
NARRATOR advises that BILL GATES shuts up while he's AHEAD
I'm a head... I always thought I was a body...
Lighting Bolt: You do realize that you aren't funny, right?
I AM FUNNY YOU F...
BATTLE used END due to PROFANITY
The End
Battle 10
Location: A grassy field.
Player: Pyropup (The Pyromaniacal Puppy)
Hee Hee Hee...
NARRATOR wants to know why JOLTEON always starts her BATTLES with LAUGHING.
Because I'm not very smar... HEY! DON'T QUESTION YOUR MASTER!!
Hee Hee Hee...
...
What're you supposed to say?!
...NARRATOR wants to know why PYROPUP is LAUGING...
And why JOLTY can't think of a more ORIGINAL way to start her BATTLES!
SHUT YOUR FACE!!
I'm laughing b'cause I was thinking about lighting my house on fire...
PYROPUP has ISSUES...
Actually, I don't subscribe to any magazines, so I don't have issues.
NARRATOR thinks that JOKE was PATHETIC!
Don't make me burn you, ya b...
PYROPUP notices sign that says BEWARE OF RSACi CLOUDS
b... buddy...
NARRATOR is NOT PYROPUPs BUDDY.
Riiight.
PYROPUP takes out MATCHES.
I love fire...
PYROPUP strikes MATCH
Match: Owwie!! You've really done it this time!
WTF?!
MATCH wants to FIGHT!
MATCH sent out MATCH!
... In that case, goooo... MEEEEEEE!!!
PYROPUP sent out PYROPUP
Match: Me, use my fire attack!!
Okay, I'm gonna use my... Liftleg attack!
MATCH used FIRE
Its super hot.
PYROPUP used LIFTLEG
PYROPUP lifted his LEG.
What? I didn't know that was a two-turn attack... God, I really have to go!!
' Match: Prepare to have your... ehem... burnt off!
MATCH used FIRE.
Critical Hit.
PYROPUP let loose...
Its super fireputtingout!
MATCH fainted.
PYROPUP gained 50 EXP. Points.
YAAAAYY!!!
Woah, I feel funny...
What? PYROPUP is evolving!
Congradulations, your PYROPUP has evolved into a DERANGED-DOG
Cool!! I'm not a puppy anymore!! And I have more than just a few attacks!!
...cool...
I AM GOD!!!
No, DERANGED-DOG is not GOD.
Sorry, I'm sorta dislexic. That looked like dog to me...
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