| Recap: Hope this one's better. Battle#81 The Attempt Player: (nobody) Date: 27/08/02 Setting: The Webmaster's House Special text: Squirtle400, Osilver, Ocrystal Morph! Squirtle400 morphed to his Human form, Edward. Time to take a break! Where am I? The Narrator of Truth stumbles into the room. What the- Webmaster, I'm so glad to see you. What happened? Setting: 2 days earlier Hypnotized Narrator awakes! Oh no, Hypnotize! Now that I'm narrating this, you can't do anything to me so, byebye. NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Setting: The present What?! Not only did he waste a ton of space, but his blew my budget! Oh well, do I get my job back? Yes. Setting: Minutes later WarcraftIII is so good! Portal appeareres! The Webmaster's Mom came! Mom what are you doing here? Player: The Webmaster's Mom Why are you playing Warcraft III! Huh? You should be updating! Look at you BQ. LOG ON! Edward logs on to the internet! Look! Edward looks at Ocean Version's BQ! Oh my- You see now work! But- But what?! Can't I finish WarcraftIII first? No, now or I kick Warcraft III out the window. Ok, ok. Player: (nobody) Setting: Somewhere else Ok, quit focusing on me. I'M NOT HYPNOTIZED! Ok, ok. Evilchu and Rick appearered! There he is! HELP!! Quit using Caps you're busting my budget! Don't worry I won't let them hypnotize you! What makes you think we're trying to get him, we're trying to get you Osilver! What, not it cannot be! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Rick says SHUT UP! I'm guessing that the webmaster ran out of ideas and is now going back to the old jokes. SHUT UP! Oh why me? Evilchu and Rick wants to fight! I noticed. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Rick says SHUT UP! Player: Rick Go Totodile! Go Rick! When was I your Pokemon? Osilver sends out Totodile! Evilchu sends out Rick! I refuse to fight! Water gun! Oh no, I can use my electric attacks that means! I feel like I'm on top of the world! Totodile takes out a water gun! A 'crash' noise could be heard! What was that? That was me felling of the top of the world. Rick, Scientist's Pride! I refuse to do it, instead I'll do Warheadlaucher! Rick uses Warheadlaucher! Rick lauches his head into war! MY HEAD! That was disturbing. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Totodile, bite! Totodile uses bite! Totodile takes a big bite out of an apple! Another crash noise could be heard! What was that? That was my face falling. Rick, Headbutt! Never, instead I'll use RUN AWAY! Rick and Evilchu ran away! Rick you idiot! Evilchu and Rick disappearered! Yippee! SHUT UP! :'( Setting: Osilver's home Hi love, hi Chikorita. SHUT UP, I'M BUSY! Chikorita says SHUT UP! Damn it! HIT! Ocrystal and Chikorita faints! Oh no, she'll be angry when she wakes up, RUN! Osilver runs! |
| Recap: No, nobody is going to die today. Battle#82 The Meeting Player: (none) Date: 08/09/02 Setting: The webmaster Master Of Annoyance's home Special Text: Squirtle400/Edward, Mewizard, Master Of Annoyance, Bug, Osilver, Psytle Alright is everyone here? I guess. Good, I hereby annouce that the meeting of the Council Of Five- Six. Huh. There are six people not just five. Look at it this way, you're my Pokemon so you don't count. Then why am I out of my Pokeball. Umm, THERE ARE NO PLOTHOLES! Psytle returned to Edward's Pokeball! Ok, let's take the roll. Edward uses ROLL! Edward STOPS, DROPS, and ROLLS! You're getting lame. What, our BQ is 2 and you're blaming it on me?! Yes, anyways, the attendance. Edward uses- SHUT UP! But- Hey, I said SHUT UP! Ok, sheesh. Mewizard! Here! Master Of Annoyance! Here! Bug! Here! Osilver! Car crashes through wall! Sorry I'm late. Osilver steps out of the car. I knew that he stole that license. You wrecked the wall! Sorry. You wrecked the wall! I know I said sorry! Say something Edward! What's there to say? Get him to pay for the wall! Wait, are you suggesting that I should pay for YOUR wall. Yes. Now why should I pay for YOUR wall. BECAUSE YOU DROVE THROUGH IT! FINE, I'LL PAY. I guess the meeting will be called off until we get the wall fixed. Setting: A day later Ah good to be home, how are you roommate? Fine, the new wall is up. See you didn't have to get so angry. ... I'm just glad that the wall is fix. Yes, it's wait a minute. What? The wallpaper it's different. Oh, yes, but it's only a few millmeters more between the strips. No, I will not have it! What's wrong?! Look, here is nice looking gaps, here are wide ugly gaps! IT'S ONLY A FEW MM. Bug and Mewizard came in! Nice wall. Yeah. It's not nice. What do you mean? Came over here. Edward pushed Mewizard into the wall! Ouch! Look, nice gaps, and here wide ugly gaps! It's only a few mms. SO?! Osilver came in. How's my gift? UGLY. What's wrong with it? Look, nice gaps, and here wide ugly gaps! It's only a few mm. Oh dammit. Edward wants to fight! This is bad. Go Psytle! Go Totodile! Edward sends out Psytle! Osilver sends out Totodile! Seriously, why are two good pals fighting over a wall. You know, he's right, I guess it doesn't matter. Yes, I'm sorry for driving through you wall. That's ok, it's fix. No the other behind me. Edward takes a look. YOU BASTARD! Oh boy, run away! Osilver runs away! Edward wins! Get back here! Battle ran off! |
| Recap: Edward is still chasing Osilver. Battle#83 The Other Meeting Player: (nobody) Setting: Edward and Master Of Annoyance's home Date: 15/09/02 Special Text: Squirtle400/Edward, Mewizard, Master Of Annoyance, Bug, Osilver, Get back here! Help! Setting: 1hour later Quit running! Why?! I'm not going to hurt you! Very funny! Setting: Another hour later Yawn. Finished yet? It's not like I'm going to kill my own creation! If you're the webmaster, why don't you just stop me with you 'powers'? Oh yeah. Edward stops. YOU FORGOT THAT YOU WERE THE WEBMASTER?! Yes, anyways DESTROY CREATIO---- STOP! WHAT?! You get over here. Setting: 10 minutes later Now that we're all seated, I have a feeling that this is going to be another filler. LET ME AT HIM! Edward stands up! Oh no sit down! Damn it, you the only one here that isn't my creation, therefore I have no control over you! Ha ha, anyways, Edward you should tell Osilver what's wrong. Why should I?! Because!!!! Ok... Start! Well, you're so, ummm F- Nice, and pleasant words now. umm, intrudsive. I am? OF COURSE YOU ARE YOU JUST CRASHED INTO TWO OF MY WALLS! That's not intrudsive. YOU! This is going to be long. Setting: 9hour later Ok, I heard of long confernces, but this is stupid Setting: Another 9hours later Yawn have you got it all out yet? I'm tired and bored. Yes, I'm finish. That's good, because when you shout, it's very annoying. You hear that no shouting! That does it I give up, we're going to get a really low BQ for this battle. If you don't mind there's something I'd like to say too. That's enough talking let's just watch a video. Player: Osiltal Setting: Somewhere else Damn it, he left. Setting: Umm, oh forget it! That kid is so persistant. That's what you get for killing somebody's friend. There you are! A battle is about to commence, will Osiltal get his revenge, find out next time! Oh, shut up, you're just lowering out BQ! Not to mention busting our budget. Battle ended! |
| Recap: Osiltal wants revenge, will he get it? Battle#84 Revenge Player: Osiltal Date: 21/09/02 Setting: Someplace Special Text: Edward/Squirtle400 AND NOW THE BATTLE BETWEEN OSILTAL AND EVILCHU! DAMN IT, QUIT BUSTING OUR BUDGET! Ok, sheesh. Go Osiltal! Go Rick! Rick says that he isn't Evilchu's pokemon! Osiltal sends out Osiltal! Evilchu sends out Rick! Rick use your Death Ray! Rick uses Live Ray! Oh, damn it! Rick makes Ray alive! Ok, who's Ray? Rick says that he has no idea. Trying to play two on one, huh? Kick! Osiltal kicks Ray! Ok, I admit it, that was stupid. Rick, use your Death Ray! Rick uses Death Ray! Ray dies! That was stupid. I agree. I'm a kid, things should go my way! Osiltal uses IAKTSGMW! Rick decides to please Osiltal! That worked? Rick, run away! Rick ran away! Oh damn it, go Evilchu! Evilchu sends out Evilchu! Now, an attack that won't be used against me, PULSE GUN! Evilchu uses Pulse Gun! Evilchu takes his pulse and fires it out of a gun! That was disturbing. Evilchu is bleeding badly! Evilchu runs away! |
| Recap: Another 2BQ battle, I bet. Battle#85 This Battle Isn't Funny Player: Mike Date: 29/8/02 Setting: A big fat field Special Text: Edward/Squirtle400 Ah, great smelling flowers! You can't smell! Oh here we go agian. You're a robot, you can't smell! CAN I PRETEND FOR ONCE! Ok, ok. Ah, the warm sun. You can't feel! WILL YOU SHUT UP?! I KNOW I'M A ROBOT OK? SHUT UP! Ok, sheesh. The feeling of happiness. You don't have feelings. Ok, that does it! What you're going to fight me? I'm not that stupid you know. I'm going to Mewizard! You're a robot, you can't go anywhere. Don't try to trick me I'm going. Oh, please I beg you, don't do this to me! No, you remind of the things I can't enjoy everyday! Everyday, it was just today! Just because it wasn't recorded, doesn't mean it doesn't count! A T-Rex appearered! Ok, someone has been playing a bit too much Dino Crisis 2. Oh well. QUIT TALKING ABOUT ME WHEN I'M RIGHT HERE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Sheesh kids these days. Wait! What?! This is a filler right? Yes, so That me my victory won't be counted to my record?! Yeah, problem? Edward disappearers. Ok, since it doesn't matter, go Flamethrower! Mike sends out Flamethrower! What, how did you know that in the game you use a flamethrower? It's called 'hacking and watching'. You shouldn't said that while I'm here. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, that's enough suprises. YOU HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER?! Um, no. Ok, I might have forgiven you if you told the truth. Ok, ok, yes I did hack into your computer! You thought I'd really forgive you? Oh no. Here take the vacine, just forgive me! Thanks. Ok, back to the battle now. Flamethrower use your Fire attack! Flamethrower uses Fire! Fire has no effect! What! You have been playing to much games. Oh, damn it. T-Rex uses Bite! T-Rex bites Mike! What it's Pokemon against Pokemon! Not Pokemon agaisnt Trainer! Who cares, it's going to be a BQ2 anyways. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOCTOR, DOCTOR, HELP! T-Rex spits Mike out! Oh, thank you! Huh, oh right you're a robot. Finally an advantage for me. Missiles! Mike uses Missiles! Mike MISSES the ILES! Ok, what's Iles. That's the T-Rex's name. You did that right on the spot! So what, from the way Edward has been writing this battle, it's going to be a BQ2 again anyways. I think I have someone to fire. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! The legendary appearer when no one notices, huh? I'm sorry, please!!!!!!!! I'll think about it. No please!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll give you me XBox! No, thanks! My Gamecube? Nah. My Playstation2? Got one. My robot? Ok. Narrator Of Truth gives Edward, Mike! I'M NOT YOUR ROBOT! Please help me! The death of this T-Rex and your PS2? Ok fine. T-Rex dies. Since I belong to this version, I'm already Edward's robot. YOU TRICKED ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for your PS2! Get back here! No, you get back here! I want my robot! Please I don't have any robot! I'm going to punish, but first I must end this battle! Another BQ2 battle has ended. YOU BASTARD! Um, byebye. |
| Recap: I have no idea where this battle is going to lead to, probably kick me back down to BQ2 again, oh well. Battle# 86 I Have No Idea Player: (none) Date: 6/10/02 Setting: Just somewhere ok? Special Text: Squirtle400/Edward Ok, I need a battle idea. Battle has already started! WHAT?! WHO TURNED IT ON! You setted a timer to record a battle if you didn't get on before the end of Saturday. How many lines is set? 80 I think. WHAT 80 LINES, THEN I"M GOING TO HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING! You just did. SHUT UP! Ok. .... Anyways, shift the camera to Osiltal I got it now. Is this going to be a filler? No. Setting: Where ever Osiltal is Where is Evilchu?! Osiltal looks for Evilchu, he sees a Pikachu type pokemon! There you are! Osiltal jumps and landed in the mud! Ow. Damn you and your stupid jokes. HEY, NOBODY DISSES A NARRARTOR! I don't believe in that. Osiltal sees the Pikachu Type Pokemon! Evilchu I'll kill you! Dark Pikachu attacks. Oh it's just a cute little Pikachu sorry. *ahem* What? Look at his full name. D-a-r-k P-i-k-a-c-h-u, YOU'RE EVILCHU'S MINIONS! Pikachu says PIKA! Translation? You would have known if you paid attention is Pokemon Speaking Class. SHUT UP AND TRANSLATE ALREADY! OK, sheesh, it means, RIGHT! Go Sword! When did you buy a sword? I have no idea. Ok... Osiltal sends out sword! Dark Pikachu sends out Dark Sword! That's copying. You know what, I don't give a damn. Sword use your Lightning Strike attack! Sword uses Lightning Strike! Sword STRIKES LIGHTNING! You know that that's not funny at all right? SHUT UP! Dark Sword uses Reflect! Dark Sword REFLECTS the lightning! Sword use you Mystic Beam! Sword uses Mystic Beam! Sword mysses TIC BEAM! Ok, who's TIC BEAM this time! The sword. YOU MADE THAT UP ON THE SPOT! Yeah, well we have 80 lines to fulfill. Sword use your Swing attack! Sword went to play on the swings! Damn it! Dark Sword uses Dark Blast! Sword reflect Dark Blast! Sword reflects Dark Blast! Sword uses Tsalb Krad! Ok... Tsalb Krad does the opposite of Dark Blast! Oh boy. Instead of taking life it gives life! Dark Sword has now 100 more hp! Damn you and your puns. Ha ha ha! Sword use your King Of Swords attack! Sword is the King Of Swords! Sword's attack greatly rose! THAT'S IT! Oh well. Pikachu orders Dark Sword to finish off Sword! Oh comon! Dark Sword would not do it! Dark Sword bows to Sword, his king! Osiltal now has two swords! That's was unexpected! Dark Pikachu uses Dark Run Away! Ok, just because there is a 'dark' in front of his name, not every thing he does is 'dark'! Dark Pikachu can't escape! Dark Pikachu uses I am a Dark Pikachu! ok.... Dark Pikachu is a 'dork'! Oh, I get it dark and dork! Ok that was lame. Sword and Dark Sword use your COMBINED RAINBOW BLAST! Sword and Dark Sword uses COMBINED RAINBOW BLAST! I win! And founds out that they have NO SUCH ATTACK! What! Sword and Dark Sword only have the colours Black and White, how could a rainbow be made? Oh damn it! Sword and Dark Sword use your COMBINED B&W BLAST! Sword and Dark Sword use your COMBINED B&W BLAST! YES! Dark Pikachu dies! Yes! Battle ended! |
| Recap: Osiltal is getting trained by his dad. Battle #87 Stupid Plot Idea Player: Osiltal Date: 13/10/02 Setting: Osilver's home Special Text: Osilver Dad, I need your help! Osilver puts down his newspaper! I TOLD YOU I'M GIVING YOU YOUR ALLOWANCE TOMMORROW! IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT! Oh, it's not? Go on then. I need you to help me train. Well then, wait for me in the gym. Setting: At the gym So, what are we going to do first? We're going to get you to lift some weights. .... I MEANT POKEMON TRAINING! Oh, why didn't you say so, to the field! Setting: At the field Alright I'm going to see how good you are first. Osilver wants to fight! Well then, GO SWORD! Go Totodile! Osiltal sends out Sword! Osilver sends out Totodile! Sword use your Summon Sword attack! Sword uses Summon Sword! Sword summons a sword! Dark Sword is send out! Totodile use your I AM YOUR OWNER attack! Totodile uses I AM YOUR OWNER! Totodile aquires Sword and Dark Sword as weapons! Go Osiltal! Osiltal sends out Osiltal! Use YOU STOLE MY STUFF attack! Osiltal yells: YOU STOLE MY STUFF! Counter with I DON'T GIVE! Osilver says: I DON'T GIVE! Wild charge! Osiltal CHARGEs WILDly! Osiltal charged Totodile for stealing! Totodile gave back swords! Yes, Sword, Dark Sword use you B&W BEAM ATTACK! Sword and Dark Sword uses B&W BEAM ATTACK! Sword and Dark Sword conjures a beam that is black and white. YOU TURNED MY MOST POWERFUL ATTACK INTO A PILLAR! Beam not pillar. So, how could you? Look, it was our only chance of getting a good BQ ok? Totodile use KNOCK OVER BEAM! Totodile knocks beam over! Beam crash lands on Sword, Dark Sword and Osiltal! I win! Battle ended! |
| Recap: We now return to... I have no idea. Battle#88 Dinner Player: (none) Date: 20/10/02 Setting: In a car Special Text: Squirtle400/Edward, Master Of Annyonance, Mewizard Ok, where should we go for dinner? How about Swiss Chalet? ....... THERE IS NO SWISS CHALET IN OCEAN VERSION! OH YEAH, LOOK AT THAT SIGN! Edward READS sign. Swiss Chalet, 3000 miles. See? Ok, so there is a Swiss Chalet, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DRIVE 3000 MILES JUST TO EAT CHICKEN AT SOME RESTERAUT! Oh, yes we are. We're not! We are! No! Yes! ..... No! Yes! SHUT UP! THERE ISN'T A SWISS CHALET IN OCEAN VERSION, ITS JUST THE NARRATOR! Man I'm good. Can't believe we fall for that. Yeah. AND WHATS MORE? YOU JUST DROVE US OFF A CLIFF! Edward's car jumps of the cliff! NO! NOT MY BRAND NEW FORD! ..... ..... ..... YOU CARE ABOUT A CHEAP FORD AND NOT OUR LIVES! Edward thinks. Good point. Edward presses eject button..... See, no harm done. ....while the card was upside-down above a river filled with jagged rocks! Stupid eject button. I noticed. Unfortunally due to the fact that really bloody scenes aren't allowed, I guess I'll just cut out this part. ....... ........ ............ IF YOU DARE KILL US, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE NOW! Ok, ok I was just kidding. You better be! Edward, Mewizard and Master of Annoyance landed on soft ground and they're still alive! .......... ......... ......... A loud VOOM! sound could be heard. What was that?! Big plotholes being closed. .....right. Hey, look Tim Hortons. Right, lets go! Edward, Mewizard and Master Of Annoyance went to Tim Hortons! A sandwich combo! Make that two! Make that three! Three sandwich combos coming right up! I have a bad feeling. Three sandwichs came out and dealt three combo attacks at Edward, Mewizard and Master Of Annoyance! That was a lame joke. OH, DAMN IT, TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOLKS TO KNOW WHAT OTHER LAME JOKES WE HAVE! |
| Recap: (blank) Battle#89 No Battle Idea Again Player: (no one) Date: 27/10/02 Setting: The webmaster's home Special Text: Edward/Squirtle400, Mewizard Ahh, I still have no idea for a battle! *Ahem* WHAT?! The battle started already. WHAT?! You nevered turned of the auto recorder thingy. That stupid thing won't turn off that's why! Right... So anyways, what are you going to do? Ok, lets see, I know, I'll play Warcraft III! I was talking about the battle. Don't worry about it something will come up. ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... Ok, maybe not. Maybe I should just watch you play. Maybe not. Edward loads his disk! Edward loads the game! This should be fun! Edward logs on! Lets see, hey cool a new map for Two V.S. Two. Edward clicks on the 'Play' button. A green eye pops up and looks around! Alright, that does it GO AWAY! Ok, sheesh. Player: Mike Setting: Mewizard and Mike's home Alright time to check Ocean's statics. Web wise or land wise? I meant on the web. Ah very good, not bad, WHAT?! What's wrong? Look at this! Mike looks at search engine keywords! Mike sees 'the simsons cartoons bart and homer' at 71.65%! That's outragous! We better not let Edward see this or else he might just delete us all! That's not all, look on the message board, noone even looked at his posts. Don't worry we still have time, he's playing Warcraft III right now. Let's hurry! Setting: Edward's home Edward! Oh, hello guys, I was just about to check our stats on the web. How long have you not check it for? Two months. *whisper to Mike* tell Edward's computer to shut down or we'll all be deleted, I'll distract Edward. Mike walks towards Edward's computer! Like my computer don't you Mike? Um.... yeah. Mewizard's face fell! What's wrong? Oh, um nothing. Ok, let's check the message board first. Desperate times calls for desperate measure, MANUAL SHUTDOWN! Mewizard manualy shutdowns Edward's computer! Run! Get back here Mewizard! This is what I get for saving a version. Mewizard ran off. Setting: Osilver's house What happened? You were knocked out by Osilver in Battle#81 because you told him to SHUT UP! Oh, yeah, OSILVER WHERE ARE YOU?! Gulp, Battle ran for it's life! |