Archives Battle #1: Enter the Blubber - 30/10/00 Location: Khaki Town Player: Dane [no record] DANE is WALKING! Yes, indeedy! I need to get out of this damn town! DANE walked into LONG GRASS! Hmm... nice and.... well, long. PROF. FIG appeared! PROF. FIG pushed DANE out of long grass! PROF. FIG wants to know what the HELL are you DOING! I wanna get out of here! It's damn boring! PROF. FIG took DANE to his LAB! PROF. FIG says you need POKEMON to leave! Yes! I've always wanted a pokemon! PROF. FIG points to his DESK! Ah! A Pokeball! DANE took POKEBALL! DANE opened POKEBALL! LLEEMA appeared! What the!? DANE used PS POKEDEX! PS POKEDEX: Lleema: The Tiny Llama Pokemon. Ht: 3'2", Wt: 25 lbs. This pokemon likes to spit! A lot! Okay then............. So what can I do now!? PROF. FIG suggests entering the PLATINUM LEAGUE! PROF. FIG says you need 8 BADGES from CITIES! Hmm, okay then! Lleema, return! LLEEMA doesn't WANT to! Come on........ LLEEMA doesn't like being cramped! ASH appeared! ASH yelled 'RIPOFF!' ASH ran away! Erm.......... Let's go then! Battle #2: Trees...... - 30/10/00 Location: Route 81 Player: Dane [0-0-0] Last APPEARED in Intro

Well, it's just you and me, Lleema. LLEEMA used SHRUG! It's super indifferent! Ah well, let's look for wild pokemon! Wild CLEFAIRY appeared! Ooh! A Clefairy! Gotta catch it! Go, Lleema! Go, LLEEMA! Lleema, use your, umm.... spit attack! LLEEMA used SPIT! CLEFAIRY is GROSSED OUT! CLEFAIRY got enraged! Ahh! An angry Clefairy! What? CLEFAIRY is freakevolving! CLEFAIRY freakevolved into INSANE CLEFAIRY OF TERROR! Oh my GOD! It's a giant psychopathic Clefairy thing! EVOLUMAN appeared! EVOLUMAN sent out RIPOFF! EVOLUMAN's PANTS were RIPPED OFF! EVOLUMAN's EMBARRASMENT greatly rose! EVOLUMAN ran away! Strange...... PLATINUM CLEFAIRY OF TERROR was renamed TERRORFAIRY! Lleema, that's enough...... urmm.. and I don't wanna let you get minced! LLEEMA, return! Go, mm, me! The enemy's unstoppable! Go, DANE! DANE used FATTY BOUNCE! DANE used his FLAB to TRAMPLE TERRORFAIRY! It's not very effective...... RRR! TERRORFAIRY used CRAZED PUNCH! YEOOOOOEOEOEWWOUCH!!!! NARRATOR is LAUGHING! Hey! Why, I oughta.... NARRATOR used MICROWAVE! It's super crispy! Ding! YEOUCH! AH! HOT! LLEEMA shakes its HEAD! TERRORFAIRY JUMPs over DANE and LLEEMA! TERRORFAIRY ran away! DANE won! What a fluke! Okay then... TERRORFAIRY wo- I was just kidding! Fine! BATTLE ENDED!

Battle #3: Munchkins Everywhere! -1/11/00 Location: Strange Village Player: Dane [1-0-0] Last WON against Platinum Clefairy of Terror DANE is in a STRANGE VILLAGE! Gee, this is strange.... NARRATOR reminds DANE that this is a STRANGE VILLAGE! It's SUPPOSED to be STRANGE! Ah, well.... you have a point. MUNCHKIN appeared! Oh my god! It's a little deformed dwarf thing! PS POKEDEX: Munchkin. The Deformed Dwarf Pokemon. Rarely seen, this creature prefers to smile all day in the shadows. Eeep... MUNCHKIN ran away! Where'd he go? WHOLE MUNCHKIN VILLAGE appeared! WHOA! DWARF CITY! WHOLE MUNCHKIN VILLAGE: We represent, the Munchkin land, the Munchkin land.... It's super cute! AWWW! WICKED WITCH OF THE ZEST appeared! WHOLE MUNCHKIN VILLAGE cowered in fear! Oh no! It's an ugly witch! DANE and LLEEMA ran into NEAREST HOUSE! CYCLONE appeared! CYCLONE used WHISK! CYCLONE picked up NEAREST HOUSE and threw it! AAAAAHHH!!! NEAREST HOUSE fell - Oh please oh please oh please, not on the hard bitumen.. - on WICKED WITCH OF THE ZEST! WOOHOO!! DANE and LLEEMA ran out! DANE saw SHINY RED CAPE! DANE used OOOOH! It's super nauseous! DANE put on CAPE! MUNCHKIN MAYOR appeared! MUNCHKIN MAYOR used SPEECH! It's super rewarding! MUNCHKIN MAYOR gave DANE some MONEY! Yesyesyes! DANE received $30000! Ching ching! Okay... so where now? MUNCHKIN BYSTANDER points to YELLOW BRICK ROAD! Thankyou! DANE and LLEEMA skip down the ROAD!

Battle #4: Hells Below! - 1/11/00 Location: Hell Player: Throgor, Damnation Foreman [no record] THROGOR is SUPERVISING the DAMNATION! Yep, that's what I d- Hey! Who the heaven are you!? NARRATOR is the NARRATOR! Ah. Well, those damn demons aren't working hard enough! Pick up the pace! DEMONS groan! I'll get out my whip! OKAY! THAT'S IT! Go, WHIP! Erm... Whip them! WHIP used WHIP MERCILESSLY! DEMONS worked HARDER! Good, good! SATAN appeared! Er, yes, Your Evilness? SATAN says a YOUNG BOY named DANE needs to be punished! Ahhh... why would that be, my Lord? SATAN says that DANE is a GOODY-GOODY, and is also the PLATINUM WEBMASTER's FAVOURITE! Hmmm...... I'll send up the Mad Cows, shall I? SATAN nods! THROGOR yells for MOOPINWHEEL! MOOPINWHEEL appears! Get Dane from Platinum Version and bring him down here! MOOPINWHEEL whistles! MAD COWS appear! MOOPINWHEEL and MAD COWS burst up through the ROOF! Oh, darnit, I just had that painted.....

Battle #5: Terrfairy Returns! - 12/11/00 Location: Emerald City School Player: Tony Campbell [no record] TONY is WRITING in his MATHS CLASS! Shh! It's mathematical! ALGEBRA appeared! Damn complicated numbers... er, better use my pencil. TONY sent out PENCIL! Now, X=785, and Y=X times 3, so, X= 2355! PENCIL used X=2355! It's super solving! ALGEBRA fainted! TONY won! Finally! Mr. McKee! MCKEE appeared! MCKEE looked at ALGEBRA! MCKEE used TICK! It's super corrective! Ah, yes! I'm done! ROOF used RUMBLE! AHHHH! WHAT'S GOING ON? ROOF used CAVE IN! TERRORFAIRY appeared! What the hell is that? CLASS used SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEKKK! TERRORFAIRY used MANIACAL LAUGH! I'll save the class! You watch me! TONY sent out PENCIL! Prepare to be WRITTEN! TERRORFAIRY used HMPH! It's super indifferent! DIE! PENCIL used DIE! MCKEE died! Ahm...... TERRORFAIRY used STOMP! PENCIL broke in HALF! Hehehehe... you made a mistake... PENCIL is now PENCILTIP and PENCILBUTT! I'll use the end of the matter! Pencilbutt! Go, PENCILBUTT! Pencilbutt, use... um... Tail Whip! PENCILBUTT doesn't have a tail! PENCILBUTT instead used BUTT WHIP! TERRORFAIRY ate PENCILBUTT! ARGH! That psycho Clefairy ate my pencil's butt! Go, Penciltip! Go, PENCILTIP! Draw! PENCILTIP used DRAW! TERRORFAIRY now LOOKS like GROUCHO MARX! TERRORFAIRY's ANGER greatly rose! Errr... TERRORFAIRY used ANGRY STARE! OH NO! TERRORFAIRY used WHAP! PENCILBUTT was WHAPPED into DUST! Hahahaha! Dust, use- DUST is not a POKEMON! Damn it! But that means...... NOOOOOOOO! TERRORFAIRY used WHAP! TONY whas WHAPPED out of EMERALD CITY! TERRORFAIRY won!

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MAIN - ARCHIVES: 1-5

Battles

1-5

The Beginnings

SUMMARY OF BATTLES: These five are the very first attempts at Pokebattles for the site. In the first battle, we are treated to a kind of introduction where Dane, a fat kid from Khaki Town, gets his first Pokemon, a Lleema, which is a bit like a small llama. In the next battle, Dane and Lleema face the Platinum Clefairy of Terror, which is shamelessly ripped off from Aqua and Red Version's Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom. The next battle sees Dane in a strange village, inhabited by sickeningly cute Munchkins. However, in the fourth, we switch down to Throgor, Hell's Damnation Foreman, and a plot to eradicate our overweight hero. The final of the series incorporates Tony, a smart guy from Emerald City being ambushed in his maths class by the Platinum Clefairy of Terror.