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Hark... yet another peaceful day, perfect in it's blissful serenity...
And rather dull in spite of that...
MINESWEEPER is wandering aimlessly!
Aye.. Not a soul to save, nor greet, nor converse with... With the exception of this odd voice I keep hearing...
MINEFIELD appeared!
A minefield? Hmph!
SMILEYFACE appeared!
SMLIEYFACE wanders into MINEFIELD for some unknown reason!
No! Don't those precious creatures know now to meddle in minefields?!
SMILEYFACE needs HELP!
Fear not, dearest Smiley Face, I shall save you!
SMILEYFACE needs HELP!
I know! That is why I shall battle this foul beast and set you free!
MINEFIELD doesn't want to fight!
Then let the Smiley Face go! It can be of no use to you, most foul tiled one!
MINEFIELD likes SMILEYFACE!
MINEFIELD says SMILEYFACE adds decoration!
True as that may be, that is no reason for you to keep one of them captive! Let it be, or feel the wrath of the Minesweeper!
MINEFIELD laughs at MINESWEEPER!
And what, might in inquire, is so funny?
MINEFIELD wants to know what kind of name for a "hero" is MINESWEEPER!
It's a decent one!
MINEFIELD laughs some more!
It hurt itself in it's mirth!
Grrrrr... Have at thee!
MINESWEEPER threw STICK at MINEFIELD!
MINEFIELD is hit with a STICK!
MINEFIELD blows up!
STICK blows up!
NO! What of the Smiley Face?!?
SMLIEYFACE comes out of the debris unscathed!
Ahh... a miracle...
MACARONI appeared!
SMILEYFACE is scared!
Worry not, little one, I shall protect thee!
MACARONI looks at SMILEYFACE!
MACARONI used FROWN!
MACARONI is FROWNING ANGRILY at SMILEYFACE!
It's super effective!
No! Stop it, ye fiend!
MACARONI's attack continues!
It's super effective!
SMILEYFACE ceases to SMILE!
SMILEYFACE renamed FROWNEYFACE!
NOO! What manner of evil be ye, ya overgrown piece of pasta?!
MACARONI is EVIL! PURE EVIL! MWUAHAHAHAHA!
...Ahem.
FROWNEYFACE just FROWNS!
You... you fiend! You shall pay for what you have done!
MACARONI wants to fight!
Go, MINESWEEPER!
MACARONI sent out MACARONI!
I needn't waste too much time on you... I'll finish you with my powerful flags!
MINESWEEPER used FLAG!
FLAG just WAVED AROUND!
... I meant to STAB my opponent with it, not wave it around...
MACARONI used DANCE!
MACARONI is doing the MACARENA!
It's super effective!
Aaaaghhh! No! Poweful ye be!
Ugh... I must hurry... and STAB it...
MINESWEEPER used STAB!
MACARONI just DANCED out of the way!
Ugh!
MACARONI's attack continues!
It's super effective!
Blacking... out... nooo...
MINESWEEPER faints!
FROWNEYFACE just FROWNS some more!
MACARONI's attack continues!
It's super effective!
FROWNERFACE faints!
Heeeeey, Macarena! NARRATOR faints!
Errrr... wait...
(Link to Network board currently unavailable :/)

Battle #7: Creation August 2, 2000
Location: Kitty's Dungeon
Player: Kitty [2-0-0] Win vs. Deb

It's a DARK and STORMY night!
Yes, how observant of you. Now shut up, we must hurry... My rise must come swiftly if at all.
KITTY has great delusions of gradeur!
THUNDER crackles dramatically in the background!
Delusions?! Reality, yakker-boy! Soon, you all shall bow before the awesome power of KITTY! Mwuahahahahaha! Now stop with the annoying background effects.
NARRATOR says-
Narrator shall shut up now!
...
Good. Now, on with my plans. If I am to rule, I must have servants... and what better a servant than one of those nifty Macaroni creations...
KITTY has a bunch of MACARONI!
Yes, I know... But they all share the level of intelligence as a Chia Pet. I need a smart one, a... general Macaroni, perhaps... yeesss... An idealistic mind to give some control over the "drones"...
KITTY has been watching too much BEAST MACHINES!
"Beast Machines"?
Watch Beast Machines every weekday afternoon at 4 on Fox Kids!
...
Anyway. Bring in a Macaroni!
MACARONI appeared!
Mwuaha... now, let's "evolve" it, as you say.
What? MACARONI is evolving!
MACARONI evolved into LASAGNA!
...
You've got to be kidding me...
Now try again! I don't want Lasagna, I want a smart Macaroni! Give me such or you shall feel pain!
What? LASAGNA is evolving!
LASAGNA evolved into MACARONI!
...
MACARONI is SMART!
Good. Let's change it's name so that I can tell it apart from the other Macaroni...
MACARONI wants to fight!
What?! Fight with your creator?! HAH! Foolish creature, perhaps you are no better off than your bretheren. I shall fight as well!
The enemy is just a limp noodle! Go, KITTY!
MACARONI sent out MACARONI!
Now, since my powers are just unbelievably superior to yours, I shall be charitable and allow you the first move.
MACARONI used CHEESE!
KITTY was DRENCHED in CREAMY CHEESE!
UGH! My fur!!! Curse you villanous lump of wheat and other such materials, you shall pay! KITTY SMACK!
KITTY SMACKED into MACARONI!
Traitorous Narrator!! CHEESE was WIPED onto MACARONI!
It's super effective!
Hm. Now, let's claw the fiend into delectable little strips!
NARRATOR suggests KITTY use a POKèBALL and CATCH MACARONI!
It doesn't deserve to live! Look what it did to my fur!
NARRATOR points out it's STRONG and SMART!
Hmm... Very well. I'll just toss this ball thing at it...
KITTY used a POKèBALL!
MACARONI was CAUGHT!
Give nickname to MACARONI?
Hmm.. let's call it Alpha Macaroni for identification's sake.
MACARONI renamed ALPHA MACARONI!
KITTY wins!
Yet again, mwuaha! Now, with a sentient Macaroni on my side, the fall of darkness shall come quick. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
NARRATOR gets a BAD FEELING about this...
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Battle #8: Salesmacaroni (Shadow Version Crossover) August 7, 2000
Player: Salesman

SALESMAN is taking a WALK!
Hello sir!
...
Would you like to--
SHUT UP OR DIE, SHOP BOY.
Okay sir!
...
MACARONI appeared!
Huh? Macaroni?
MACARONI looks EVIL!
...Hello sir!
NARRATOR 4 facefaults!
Would you like to buy some--
MACARONI wants to fight!
Okay...
MACARONI sent out MACARONI!
Hello sir!
MACARONI used HEEEEEY, MACARONI!
MACARONI started to DANCE the MACARENA!
What in the--?! Dancing macaroni... Now I’ve seen everything.
No you haven’t!
Oh well... Hello sir!
SALESMAN used HELLO SIR!
MUSIC is TOO LOUD for MACARONI to HEAR!
MACARONI used DANCE!
MACARONI is DANCING!
I just came up with a new item!
MACARONI is DANCING!
SALESMAN sees CITIZEN!
HELLO SIR!
CITIZEN SCREAMS in TERROR and FLEES!
Nobody likes me...
MACARONI is DANCING!
This is getting creepy... Can I just smash this thing with my briefcase?
SALESMAN used BRIEFCASE FWAP!
Answers that.
MACARONI stopped DANCING!
Good. That was scary.
MACARONI used FROWN!
...Can you start dancing again? That wasn’t as scary as this.
MACARONI is FROWNING ANGRILY!
Stop it... Please?
SALESMAN is SCARED!
Well, duh...
FROWNEYFACE appeared!
...
FROWNEYFACE used FROWN!
STOP WITH THE FROWNING!!
MACARONI and FROWNEYFACE are FROWNING ANGRILY!
WAAAAAAAHHHH! STOPITSTOPITSTOOOOOOOP!!
SALESMAN fainted!
MACARONI won!
MACARONI began DANCING again!
FROWNEYFACE wandered into MINEFIELD and EXPLODED!
(If there's a link to the Board for this, I haven't found it yet :/)

Battle #9: Clash August 12, 2000
Location: ?
Player: Kitty [Record goes HERE]

Ahhh... the pieces are slowly falling into place, and soon I shall be able to take over Ruby Version without hindrance... mwuahahahaha! How I love being the smart one of the Version.
NARRATOR appears!
As usual, yes. What do you want this time?
NARRATOR somehow seems rather SCARED!
Yes, you should be scared. Once I rule all, I shall bring nothing less than a complete painful experience to you as well as the others who have looked down upon my might...
NARRATOR isn't scared of KITTY!
... FEAR ME, CURSE YOU!
NARRATOR is SCARED of SALESMAN ARMY!
Salesman Army?
Yes!
And just who are they? A gigantic clannish gathering of simple salesmen?
Pretty much!
How is that fear-inducing to one such as the Narrator?
NARRATOR is too FREAKED to EXPLAIN!
Well, tell me how they got here.
SALESMAN ARMY appeared through a PORTAL from SHADOW VERSION!
RUBY VERSION is being INVADED for the sake of a CROSS-OVER!
Hmm... this shall bring only a mere pause to my domination... Send out an army of my best Macaroni soldiers.
MACARONI ARMY was already sent out!
And...?
MACARONI ARMY fainted!
The whole army?
Yes!
Then perhaps we need something more frightening than a motley crew of terrifying Macaroni... mwuahahaha....
Yesss... what we need is a warrior who's might surpasses what others would suppose with a glance at it, who's loyalty shall remain with me and only me... and one who is frightening enough to perhaps ward off these Salesmen before they can do too much damage...
Narrator! By my will, you shall create me such a warrior! And don't mess up, mind you, or you shall suffer greatly!
NARRATOR grumbles IRRITATED-LIKE!
NARRATOR uses CONJURE!
INFERNO appeared!
Eh? What is this? Some kind of gigantic tin bug man...?
INFERNO: FOR THE GLLLLOOORY OF THE COLONY!
=O_o=
INFERNO: SAY THE WORD, MY QUEEN, AND THEY SHALL BUUUUUUURN!
Heh. I rather like this one. Now, to "catch" it to ensure it's loyalty...
KITTY used POKèBALL!
INFERNO was caught!
Give nickname to INFERNO?
No, I think I'll keep it as "Inferno".
Now, let's test this guy out. Go, Inferno, and show me what you can do!
INFERNO popped out of the POKèBALL!
Now, Inferno... I am your master! You shall do as I command, or you shall DIE!
INFERNO: FOR THE ROYALTY!
... er... yes. And I'm that "Royalty", understand?
INFERNO: FOR THE ROYALTY!
...
Yes. O-kay... Now, let's bring in a random Macaroni soldier to test out your skills. Narrator, if you will...
MACARONI appeared!
MACARONI sees INFERNO!
MACARONI SCREAMS in FEAR!
INFERNO SCREAMS a lot of GIBBERISH at MACARONI!
MACARONI ran away!
... well. That worked.
INFERNO begins to MARCH in CIRCLES around KITTY!
INFERNO: For the ROYALTY! For the ROYALTY!
Mwuahaha... simple, yet effective. This shall do. Now, let us take another army of Macaroni out and confront these Salesmen!
MACARONI ARMY appears!
EVERYONE wanders around!
SALESMAN ARMY appears!
Ah! The Salesman be ahead! We shall make them pay for what they did to the other warriors!
SALESMAN ARMY: Hello sir!
It's super effective!
Agh! The sheer horror of it... Go, Inferno, scare them away or something.
INFERNO CACKLES INSANELY!
INFERNO slowly APPROACHES the SALESMEN!
INFERNO SCREAMS a lot of GIBBERISH!
SALESMAM ARMY: Hello sir!
ACK! Inferno, hurry and make them stop!
SALESMAN ARMY wants to fight!
I sent out Inferno...
The enemy outnumbers you by a whole lot! Go, INFERNO!
SALESMAN ARMY sent out SALESMAN ARMY!
This isn't looking good already... Ahh, well. Inferno.. um.... burn them?
INFERNO used FLAMETHROWER!
A few random SALESMEN spontaniously COMBUSTED!
SALESMAN ARMY used HELLO SIR!
It's super effective!
Aaaagggh... I don't know how much more of that I can take... Um... try to burn them all!
INFERNO used FLAMETHROWER!
Some more SALESMEN spontaneously COMBUSTED!
SALESMAN ARMY used BRIEFCASE FWAP!
INFERNO was GANGED-UP on and BEATEN to SLAG!
What? INFERNO is devolving!
INFERNO devolved into INFERNO HEAD!
... And INFERNO TORSO!
... And INFERNO LEGS!
Tough little thing he is.
SALESMAN ARMY's attack continues!
INFERNO HEAD is SMASHED beyond RECOGNITION!
INFERNO TORSO is SMASHED beyond RECOGNITION!
INFERNO LEGS is SMASHED beyond RECOGNITION!
Oh, my. =>_<=
INFERNO TORSO faints!
INFERNO LEGS faints!
INFERNO HEAD: BAAAAAHHHH! FOR THE GLLLLOOORY OF THE COLONY!
INFERNO used BITE!
Several SALESMEN are BITTEN to LITTLE PIECES!
Amazing how his jaw circuits still work after being severed from his body and then beaten to a little lump of crap. Hm.
SALESMAN ARMY uses BRIEFCASE FWAP!
INFERNO HEAD is FWAPPED into the HORIZON!
... Perhaps it would be best if we retreated before they turn their attention to us...
INFERNO HEAD somehow BOUNCES back!
INFERNO HEAD: GRRRRAAAAHHH! FOR THE ROYALTY!
SALESMAN ARMY used KICK!
INFERNO HEAD used BITE!
SALESMAN ARMY's FOOT was BITTEN off as it was KICKED!
=O_o= That doesn't make much sense... but I won't complain.
INFERNO HEAD is KICKED into ENERGON FIELD!
INFERNO HEAD is getting pumped!
It is?
... With ENERGON!
Gah.
INFERNO HEAD suddenly EXPLODES!
INFERNO HEAD faints!
SALESMAN ARMY look at KITTY!
=O_O= Yeeeeps. I think we'll come back later...
KITTY ran away!
MACARONI ARMY ran away!
SALESMAN ARMY: Hello sir!
NARRATOR ran away!
SALESMAN ARMY: Fwuahahahahahahaha! .... Hello sir!
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Battle #10: Return August 15, 2000
Location: At the base of a randomly-appearing cliff
Player: Bounty Hunter Psyduck [1-0-0] Win vs. Narrator

PSYDUCK returns to the story!
'Bout friggin' time, too. Blasted Webmistress gettin' all obsessed with her Macaroni and her Kitty... Forgettin' all 'bout me!
PSYDUCK is IRRITATED!
Bet'cher pants I am. Ahh, well. I'm back so I suppose I'll have something important to do.
BOBAFETT appears!
Agh, not him again...
BOBAFETT looks DEAD!
Good 'fer him. Moving on...
BOBAFETT looks DENTED!
Yipee. Moving on?
...
... ugh... fine.
PSYDUCK slowly WADDLES up to BOBAFETT!
Is he dead?
PSYDUCK gives BOBAFETT a few good POKES!
BOBAFETT woke up!
You OK?
BOBAFETT: Aaaah! The Salesmen... the Salesmen...
BOBAFETT is all MESSED UP!
Obviously... Now, what about these Salesmen?
BOBAFETT: The Salesment are coming, the Salesmen are coming!
...
BOBAFETT: They sold me stuff and they kept yelling this awful, awful phrase...
What? Like, "Hello sir"?
It's super effective!
BOBAFETT: AAAAAHHH! Don't say that!
...
Hello sir.
BOBAFETT CRINGES in FEAR!
Heh. Hello sir.
BOBAFETT is in EXTREME AGONY!
This is fun. Hello sir.
NARRATOR suggests that PSYDUCK do something else!
BOBAFETT wants PSYDUCK to STOP!
Hmmmm... I got an idea... Fight me.
BOBAFETT: Why?
Hello sir.
BOBAFETT: AAAAHHH! Fine, I'll fight, s'long as you stop saying that!
Fine.
BOBAFETT reluctantly wants to fight!
Go, me.
The enemy's still beaten up from its last fight! Go, PSYDUCK!
Let's make this quick. Hello sir.
It's super effective!
Heh heh. Let's toss a PokèBall at him. I've always wanted my very own Boba Fett...
PSYDUCK used POKèBALL!
BOBAFETT was CAUGHT again!
Give nickname to BOBAFETT?
Nope. Just keep him as Boba Fett.
Heeey... BOBAFETT belongs to NARRATOR!
He's pathetic. You want him?
NARRATOR decides to let this pass for now!
Good. Wheeheehee, I got a Boba Fett!
SALESMAN ARMY appears!
Hm. Are these the guys that Fett was ranting about?
Yes!
SALESMAN ARMY: Hello sir!
It's super effective!
It is?
Errrr... It's supposed to be super effective!
SALESMAN ARMY wants to know why PSYDUCK isn't TREMBLING in FEAR!
I'm supposed to?
EVERYONE ELSE has so far!
Heh! You can't defeat me with a simple little phrase!
SALESMAN ARMY is ANGRY!
SALESMAN ARMY wants to fight!
Fine. Let's give mah new Fett a try...
Get'm, BOBAFETT!
SALESMAN ARMY sent out SALESMAN ARMY!
SALESMAN ARMY: HELLO SIR!
It's super effective!
BOBAFETT fainted!
Bah, lousy human. I'll deal with them myself. Go, me.
The enemy kicked your PokèMon's butt so easily it's unbelievable! Go, PSYDUCK!
Hmm... I wonder.... Hello sir.
It's not very effective...
SALESMAN ARMY is LAUGHTING HEARTILY at PSYDUCK!
Hmph!
SALESMAN ARMY used BRIEFCASE FWAP!
PSYDUCK was FWAPPED!
PSYDUCK is getting ANNOYED!
PSYDUCK used TRIGGERHAPPY!
A few SALESMEN were SHOT to BLOODY PULPS!
It's super effective!
SALESMAN ARMY is paralized!
It may not attack!
Heh heh! Now you shall die!
PSYDUCK's attack continues!
PSYDUCK used TRIGGERHAPPY!
A few more SALESMEN were SHOT to BLODDY PULPS!
Remaining SALESMEN are getting VERY ANGRY with PSYDUCK!
Heh. Enough bloodshed for now.. I don't think we want to get the same effect with that battle with iRab in Red Version... And away I go for now. I'll get you later!
PSYDUCK ran away!
SALESMAN ARMY!: HELLO SIR! SHOOT AT US, WILL YOU?! FWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU STUPID DUCK, YOU SHALL DIIEEEE!
NARRATOR doesn't like having its caps stolen.
NARRATOR doesn't like being showed up.
NARRATOR likes being the most annoying of all.
SALESMAN ARMY: HELLO SIR! SHUT UP!
...
NARRATOR used OBLITERATI-
SALESMAN ARMY ran away!
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// Continue to battles 11-15 //