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Last updated: February 9, 2002

~Home of the STUFFED MEW~
Battle #1: Belligerent Charmeleon May 2, 2000
Setting: Joe’s House
Player: Joe the Lazy Old Guy  [0-0-0]
 
Oh, I’m hungry. I think I’ll go get some cheese.
JOE went to the refrigerator!
Here it is, but it’s moldy.
CHEESE is insulted!
CHEESE is angry!
CHEESE wants to fight!
CHEESE sent out MOLD!
Eew! I think I’m gonna barf!
JOE sent out BARF!
No I didn’t!
Don’t argue!
I do have Pokémon, you know.
Then send one out!
Okay, then, uh, go, Charmeleon!
Go, CHARMELEON!
MOLD used SMELL!
What kind of attack is that?
A smelly one!
Charmeleon! Use your flamethrower attack!
CHARMELEON doesn’t want to!
What do you mean you don’t want to? You have to!
CHARMELEON didn’t change his mind!
Ok, then, return, Charmeleon!
CHARMELEON doesn’t want to do that, either!
Well, if you’re not going to listen to me, at least defeat the cheese!
CHARMELEON is thinking!
CHARMELEON wants to!
What? You want to?
CHARMELEON says YES!
CHARMELEON used DEFEAT!
CHEESE was DEFEATED!
CHARMELEON wins!
Hey! But I’m its trainer!
 
Battle #2: Attack of the Big Ol’ Wave May 18, 2000
Setting: The Ocean
Player: Hank the Idiot [0-0-0]

C’mon, Jeb, let’s go in the ocean for a swim.

HANK and JEB go in OCEAN!
Have I ever told ya about the time I got hit by a big ol’ wave?
BIG OL’ WAVE appeared!
It looked just like that one, and it barely hurt me.
BIG OL’ WAVE thinks HANK is wrong!
BIG OL’ WAVE is angry!
BIG OL’ WAVE wants to fight!
Now don’t worry Jeb, I got a water purifier!
BIG OL’ WAVE doesn’t care!
BIG OL’ WAVE wants to be PURIFIED!
Will ya hear that? He likes my plan!
JEB: If the Big Ol’ Wave wants to fight, that means this is a battle.
JEB: In battles, you shouldn’t make your enemy happy.
Well golly Jeb, who said this was a battle?
JEB: The Big Ol’ Wave did.
Well I don’t like battles. I’m a pacifist.
JEB: Then leave it to me to fight!
JEB: Eh… What’re we supposed to do in these battles?
Um… I think we’re supposed to ‘send out’ “Pecky Mans”.
NARRATOR reminds you that it’s POKÉMON, not PECKY MANS!
Yeah, whatever.
I think one’s called Peekatuu.
NARRATOR also reminds you that it’s PIKACHU, not PEEKATUU!
JEB: Then… Go, whatever that Narrator said!
PEEKATUU?
JEB: No, the other thing!
Go, PIKACHU!
PIKACHU: Pika pika!
New Player:  Jeb the Idiot [0-0-0]
Pika uh… chu! Use your binderlock attack!
NARRATOR reminds you one last time that it’s THUNDERSHOCK, not BINDERLOCK!
JEB knows nothing about POKÉMON!
Uh… Oh well I guess you’re right.
Little yellow creature, use the best attack you can!
PIKACHU is about to use THUNDERSHOCK!
BIG OL’ WAVE reminds PIKACHU that WATER conducts ELECTRICITY!
PIKACHU doesn’t care!
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
PIKACHU attack missed!
It kept on going and crashed…
Into JEB and HANK!
JEB and HANK: ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
JEB and HANK fainted!
The battle ended in a draw!
 
Battle #3: Dinner Problems May 28, 2000
Setting: Fancy Restaurant
Player: Da Crazy Man [0-0-0]

CRAZYMAN walks to MAILBOX!

Duh… I got mail!
I’m invited to restaurant!
Duh, uh, today, I’m hungry!
CRAZYMAN went in CAR!
CRAZYMAN drove through FENCE!
That was my fence. Oops.
CRAZYMAN drove to RESTAURANT!
CRAZYMAN walked over to BUFFET!
CRAZYMAN jumped on TABLE!
Yummy food.
CRAZYMAN is eating like a CRAZYMAN!
CRAZYMAN splashed food on a FANCYGUY!
FANCYGUY is angry!
FANCYGUY wants to fight!
FANCYGUY sent out DRESS SHOES!
Then, uh, go, something I have.
CRAZYMAN sent out CRAZYMAN!
Duh… What attacks do I have?
NONE!
CRAZYMAN used STRUGGLE!
DRESS SHOES fainted!
FANCYGUY: Ahhh! My dress shoes!
CRAZYMAN was hit with recoil!
CRAZYMAN fainted!
FANCYGUY blacked out!
CRAZYMAN blacked out!
The battle ended in a draw!
 
Battle #4: Power Of Da Punks July 2, 2000
Setting: The Street
Player: Da Punk Man [0-0-0]

As the punk leader, I have a plan to really annoy someone!

GANG OF PUNKS: Yeah! We’re gonna annoy people!
Here’s the plan! *Whisper whisper whisper*
GANG OF PUNKS: That sounds like fun! Yeah! Let’s annoy people!
GANG OF PUNKS: Let’s go!
GANG OF PUNKS went to the house of DA EVOLUTION MAN!
A PUNK fell through a WINDOW!
Ouch!
DA EVOLUTION MAN glares at PUNK!
EVOLUMAN is angry!
EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
EVOLUMAN sent out himself!
Go! Skateboard!
Go, SKATEBOARD!
Skateboard use your crash attack!
SKATEBOARD used CRASH!
EVOLUMAN: Ouch!
PUNKS came through window!
EVOLUMAN is confused!
He hurt himself in his confusion!
EVOLUMAN fainted!
PUNKS win!
Hey, hey, hey not so fast, Narrator!
NARRATOR is angry!
NARRATOR wants to fight!
Uh oh!
 
Battle #5: Da Men Team Up July 31, 2000
Setting: Ho-oh Highway
Player:  Da Crazy Man [0-1-0]
Note: This is a crossover with Emerald Version.
Oooh… I’m hungery!
CRAZYMAN opens CLOSET!
Foooooood!
CRAZYMAN bites SHIRT!
SHIRT is angry!
SHIRT wants to fight!
Ahhlhhhhhhhhlhhhhh!!
CRAZYMAN runs to CAR!
CRAZYMAN tries to DRIVE!
SHIRT jumps on CRAZYMAN!
Ooh! I’m being tickled!
CRAZYMAN can’t see!
CRAZYMAN ended up on HO-OH HIGHWAY!
CRAZYMAN passed:
GRASSY FIELD OF NO RETURN!
LORD SLOTH’S CASTLE!
S.S. DITTO!
DOOMPUFF DEATH DESERT!
A STUFFED MEW!
CRAZYMAN drove into DA BULLFIGHTING MAN’S HOUSE in MILLION CITY, EMERALD VERSION!
That was fun!
BULLMAN: Hey!
BULLMAN fell in CAR!
Hello! You wanna visit? Hehehe!
BULLMAN: Uh, are you okay, mister?
BULLMAN: Hey, wait a sec… you copied my name!
Uh, no…
Hey, look at the pretty building!
BULLMAN: That’s the Million City gym, and if you don’t turn fast, we’re gonna crash into it!
What??
~CRASH~
RICH: Hey! Get outta my gym!
Why?
RICH wants to fight!
RICH sent out DONALD TRUMP!
Hi Donald Duck!
CRAZYMAN used BIG HUG!
CRAZYMAN attack missed!
CRAZYMAN kept on going and hugged…
RICH!
RICH fainted!
TRUMP ran!
Ooh… Pretty pin!
BULLMAN: That’s the $Money$ Badge.
Neat!
CRAZYMAN and BULLMAN win!
DA MEN received the $MONEY$ BADGE!
 
Battle #6: Too Much Confusion March 5, 2001
Setting: The Street
Player:  Da Punk Man [1-0-0]
NARRATOR wants to fight!
N-n-nobody can beat m-me!
NARRATOR says you’re wrong!
NARRATOR is right!
What…that means I have a chance? No…. I’m confused.
It hurt itself in its confusion!
How come Evoluman gets called “he” and I don’t?!?
Because you’re stupid!
Arrrrr!
PUNKMAN is angry!
PUNKMAN wants to fight!
It’s true that I’m angry, but I really don’t want to fight because I’m sure I’m going to lose!
NARRATOR is confused because his NARRATIONS are always RIGHT!
I’m glad I read that book “How To Confuse a Narrator!"
NARRATOR is yet more confused!
Now that this narrator is about to hurt himself in his confusion, I may as well try to find a new narrator.
Let’s see… How would Narration get me a pencil and paper?
PUNKMAN got a PENCIL and PAPER!
That book is coming more in handy than I thought!
What? PAPER is evolving!
PAPER evolved into SIGN!
SIGN says HELP WANTED!
SOME FREAKY GUY WHO SEES THE HELP WANTED SIGN: Can I be a Narrator? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Let’s see your Narration skills.
SOME FREAKY GUY WHO SEES THE HELP WANTED SIGN: Um… YOU said I could BE a NARRATOR!
Next!
SOMEONE ELSE: My Narration skills are like this… NEXT appeared! NEXT is angry because NEXT is not its NAME! NEXT wants to fight!
Perfect! Here’s your contract.
NEXT’S real name is…
WOMBAT!
Heh heh heh…
WOMBAT signs CONTRACT!
PUNKMAN signs CONTRACT!
CONTRACT is angry!
CONTRACT wasn’t READY to be signed!
CONTRACT used SHRED!
PUNKMAN fainted!
WOMBAT wins!
ESSENCE OF PUNKMAN: How’d you win?
WOMBAT said PUNKMAN fainted already!
ESSENCE OF PUNKMAN: Ow…
 
Battle #7: When Masks Attack! February 2, 2002
Setting: Shoe Store
Player: Da Fancy Guy [0-0-1]
 
SALESMAN: Hey you! The sign says we're open 5:00 to 6:00, so scram!
But it's 5:30!
SALESMAN PEELS OFF MASK!
SALESMAN is really ROBBER OF FINE SHOES (RFS)!
MASK wanted to be worn!
MASK is angry!
MASK wants to fight!
MASK doesn’t have any moves!
MASK used STRAMGLE!
RFS: *hack**cough**wheeze**gasp*
Don’t you mean struggle?
STRUGGLE is on his lunch break!
RFS is hit with MASK’S recoil!
RFS fainted!
MASK won!
Hey wait a minute, what about me?
MASK has plans for you!
Ulp!!!!
MASK enslaved RFS fainted body!
MASK and RFS are now known as MRFS (MASKED ROBBER OF FINE SHOES)!
MRFS threw average shoes at FANCYGUY!
ARRRRGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feeling ordinary!
Feeling plain!
What?
FANCYGUY is devolving!
FANCYGUY devolved into CASUALGUY!
STRUGGLE is back from his lunch hour!
MRFS used STRUGGLE!
MRFS is hit with recoil!
Before his actual move?
Yeah, you got a problem wid dat?
N-n-no sir!
MRFS and CASUALGUY win!
How is this possible?
It’s not!
SUDDEN DEATH
CASUALGUY tripped over his new sneakers!
CASUALGUY’S attack missed!
He kept on going, and crashed…
Into a wall!
CASUALGUY fainted!
MRFS wins after all!
 
Battle #8: We're Off To See The Narrator! February 9, 2002
Setting: Teal Webmaster's House
Player: Andre, Emerald Version Webmaster [0-0-0]
Player 2: Door [0-0-0]

I think I'll visit my friend the Teal Webmaster!
ANDRE arrived at TEAL WEBMASTER'S HOUSE!
DOORBELL: DING DONG!
DOOR: Day in and day out, people ring my bell, and open me! I just can't take it any longer!
What are you talking about, um, uh, what's your name?
I don't have a name.
Well, we need to give you a good boy's name!
But I'm not a boy!
Okay, then let's think of a girl's name!
I'm not a girl either!
Then, what are you?
A door.
I'll call you Doorothy for now.
DOOR was renamed DOOROTHY!
Let's go see the Narrator's Physical Entity to find you a better name.
Why are you here anyway?
I said that on line one!
DOOROTHY used SCROLL UP!
DOOROTHY read LINE 1!
Oh.
Let me "Walk the Dog" and then we'll go see the Narrator's Physical Entity.
I don't see a dog! Is your dog Toto or something to go with this storyline?
No... My pet Yo-yo. I'm doing the "Walk the Dog" trick.
... Right.
ANDRE WALKS the DOG!
Okay, I'm done. Now let's go visit the Narrator's PE!
... The Narrator teaches Physical Education?
Not Gym, you idiot... Physical Entity!
... Oh.
So... I've heard that many have perished trying to visit the Narrator's Physical Entity.
Really?

Player: Da Punk Man [1-1-0]

I have finally reached that Wombat's Physical Entity! I have a bone to pick with him!
What does PUNKMAN want?
Get out of the Narrator's Office!
NEVER!
I'll fight you!
PUNKMAN was turned into a STUFFED MEW!
Mew? MEW MEW MEW! MEWY MEW! MEWY!
HORDES of CHILDREN ran to HUG the STUFFED MEW!
HORDES of CHILDREN: MEW MEW ISSOCUTE!
MEEEEEEEEEEW!
PUNKMAN suffocated due to the HORDES of CHILDREN HUGGING him!
PUNKMAN fainted!
ESSENCE OF PUNKMAN: Mew? MEW? MEW!!!!!
PUNKMAN (REAL BODY): *squeek*

Player: Andre, Emerald Version Webmaster [0-0-0]
Player 2: Doorothy [0-0-0]

So, how do we get there?
LITTLE IMPISH GUY appeared!
LIG: Hi!
Lig? Is that like a Fig? Can I eat that?
LIG: No! It stands for Little Impish Guy, which I am!
Oh, what a pity. I like figs. I should have known...
LIG: You know, if you want to get to Teal City to find the Narrator's Physical Entity, follow that brick road!
Okay!
LIG disappeared!
Wait!! I need to ask one more question! Are roads usually brick?
Aww, he left.
Well, let's get going.
Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road!
Follow the yellow brick ro-
Excuse me, but this brick road is not yellow.
And don't you think it's kind of stupid to sing about a brick road anyway?
That's IT! Follow the stupid brick road! Follow the stupid brick road!

48 hours later

Follow the stupid brick road! Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the stupid brick road!
...
And again! Follow the stupid brick-
Hey look, a STUFFED MEW.
HORDES of CHILDREN appeared!
HORDES of CHILDREN trampled ANDRE and stole STUFFED MEW!
ASTUFFED MEW? Where?
...Those kids just took it. Ow...
Why don't you take a rest after being trampled by a lot of kids that want a STUFFED MEW?
Okay..
ANDRE wins!
DOOROTHY wins!
PUNKMAN lost!
ESSENCE OF PUNKMAN: Mew... (*translation*: Darn...)

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