Will probably contain the journeys of the new narrator, for a start. I don't know, I haven't written all of them yet!
Battle #16: Written
24 February 2001
Player: Scribe
Location: Transparent Version Archives
NARRATOR arrived at BIG
BUILDING he has been FLYING to for TWO WEEKS
BIG BUILDING was renamed BATTLE ARCHIVES
BUILDING's SIZE greatly fell
Now, now, that's not a nice
thing to say!
NARRATOR asks who YOU might
be?
I am the official
Transparent Version Scribe. I put down everything the webmaster
writes.
NARRATOR thought the
WEBMASTER did that HIMSELF
Oh, no, he's too lazy to do
so. He just speaks, and then I write that down, put in some
colours and everything, and store it in these archives.
NARRATOR looked around for
PAPER
It failed
No, no, no. For this, we
use the tools given to us by the webmaster in his infinite (or,
when he's not around, non-existant) wisdom, Notepad and Frontpage
Express.
NARRATOR looks at SCRIBE
Something wrong?
NARRATOR asked about the
LOCATION of the ARCHIVES
Why?
Because NARRATOR wants to
know what happened in TRANSPARENT VERSION, and will become ANGRY
when he doesn't get to know!
Well, that's not so
difficult. Just look in that... strange thing that the webmaster
has stolen from the first Star Trek serie that you can look in,
and you'll see it all.
NARRATOR used LOOK
NARRATOR saw TRANSPARENT VERSION history
NARRATOR is NOT IMPRESSED
NARRATOR thinks he should SEARCH for the WEBMASTER
Where?
NARRATOR doesn't know
YET...
That 'yet' sounds
dangerous...
...But it feels like it is
about to FIND OUT
I better ready myself.
YOU have written down
BATTLES after WEBMASTER left..
Who shall I choose?
So YOU should KNOW
Notepad, go!
RANDOM EXTRA appeared
SCRIBE send out NOTEPAD
Notepad, search
NOTEPAD used SEARCH
NOTEPAD searched for ENEMY
NOTEPAD found ENEMY in PREVIOUS SENTENCE
INFINITE LOOP was CREATED
NOTEPAD CR...
No
NOTEPAD CR...
Don't bother, I don't write
that part down
NARRATOR says YOU're not
being FAIR
Are you?
THAT is IRR... true
NARRATOR didn't SAY that!
I did write it down,
though. It says it here, so it must be the truth!
NARRATOR is confused!
It hurts SITSELF in confusion
Sitself? Sounds painful.
NARRATOR gave up
NARRATOR used RUN
NARRATOR ran away
SCRIBE won!
I didn't SAY... Forget it
NARRATOR used FORGET
NARRATOR forgot IT
Battle #17: Characters
11 March 2001
Player: Narrator
Location: Transparent Version
NARRATOR floated around
TRANSPARENT VERSION
NARRATOR used SEARCH
NARRATOR searched for USABLE CHARACTER
It failed!
NARRATOR used CREATE
NARRATOR created CHARACTER to SAVE TRANSPARENT VERSION
DOOMPUFF disappeared before being completed
NARRATOR used CREATE
NARRATOR created NEW CHARACTER
NARRATOR pressed RANDOM COMBINATION on KEYBOARD
NARRATOR pressed ALT+225
STRANGE CHARACTER appeared
STRANGE CHARACTER was renamed ß
NARRATOR used BACKSPACE
ß was deleted
NARRATOR used CREATE
NARRATOR created NARRATOR PERSONIFICATION
NARRATOR PERSO-THINGIE was renamed NA-PER
NARRATOR admired NA-PER
(3 hours later)
NARRATOR remembers IT has a JOB to do: to FIND the WEBMASTER!
Player: Na-Per
Ooh, this body thing feels
good. Now I know why those characters are so attached to them.
NARRATOR reminds YOU YOU
need to FIND the WEBMASTER
Yes, yes, I know. Just
testing these things they call hands... Amazing devices, aren't
they?
NA-PER tried to PICK UP...
YUCK!
Why doesn't it stay in this
hand thing? And I think I need to find a way to clean my
hand-thing now.
NARRATOR looked away
Well, I can't help it
that...
RSACi CLOUD appeared
...this...
RSACi CLOUD flickers
warningly
...mud stays on my hand
RSACi CLOUD used CRASH
RSACi CLOUD crashed into the GROUND
RSACi-FOG appeared
Well, well, my good man, it
seems like we could become civilised after all.
NARRATOR agrees
NA-PER sips its TEA
I mean, I can't even say
"something is getting something else in it by getting air
into its lungs"
NARRATOR thinks THIS does
so
I agree. Perhaps we should
get the reproduction out of here...!
NARRATOR wonders where
REPRODUCTION came from.
That doesn't matter. Go!
NA-PER starts to RUN
NARRATOR flees
Battle #18: I see Dead Versions...
13 October 2001
Player: Scribe
Location:Transparent Version
Hmmm... do you think I'd mi
ss a chance to be annoying when I get
it? I'm not leavin
g just black space, it's goin
g to be a bit mo
re of an explanation/introduction-thi
ngie.
So, anyway, we last lef
t Transparent Version and i
ts characters frozen by the Webmas
ter who went away for unknown reason
s. (Well, he gave a weird speech in a stran
ge language, but th
at would be all - S
ign
s of some www.pokebat
tles.nl or the like have not yet been found on the web, as some
expected.)
With that, the na
rrator assigned to Tra
nsparent Version reappeared, stu
ck in the
traffic as he was, and, as h
e was supposed to do, started narrat
ing.
There, he fou
nd the artificial narrator tha
t had been narrating Transparent Version, an
d had a short battle with it (battle #1
5). After that, he w
ent to th
e b
attle
a
rc
hiv
es, w
here h
e spoke
to Trans
parent Ve
rsion's of
ficial Scri
be, who appa
rently is mig
htier than the
Narrator itself
. (Don't they sa
y the pen is migh
tier than the swor
d?). Then, in Trans
parent Version's fin
al battle, number sev
enteen as it was calle
d, probably because tha
t was the next number, i
f you're wondering, the N
arrator created a new (mai
n-)character, called Naper,
short for Narrator Personifi
cation. Unfortunately, someth
ing went wrong while Naper was
testing his body, and the RSACi
-cloud appeared and unfortunatel
y crashed into the ground as well
. In this fog, the Narrator actual
ly got polite. They ran away, and t
hat is where we left our two... 'her
oes'...
DARKNESS went to AWAY
FOG went to AWAY
Well, well, it seems like
this hiatus hasn't done this version much good, now has it?
SCRIBE appeared
I already was here. I might
be omniscribent, but I'm not omniscient.
SCRIBE uses STRANGE WORDS
For those not as omniscient
as they think they are - I need to be here to write things down.
NARRATOR feels INSULTED
I really need to finish
that thesis about the mental age of a standard narrator.
NARRATOR asks WHY?
Because that will mean I
would be qualified as scribe for some better version - Ocean or
something.
NARRATOR used FEEL
NARRATOR feels INSULTED
Again...?
NARRATOR thinks YOU are
INSULTING
I am just a neutral
scribe...
NARRATOR says IT hasn't
NOTICED.
... when I'm not in a
battle.
Silence...
Let's go on - we've got a
version to save.
NARRATOR agrees!
First, Narrator, I'm
getting sick of those Transparent Walls we've been having here...
SCRIBE is standing in a
FOREST!
Good... Now, what about
making it a bit more lifely?
Wild BIRDS appeared!
Yes, good. Now...
BIRDS want to fight!
Wait a moment...
BIRDS send out SPARROW
Was that a tupo I made?
NO! BIRDS send out a
SPARROW, not a SPEAROW
Choose a POKE-BEING to send out.
Alright then. Go, Notepad!
SCRIBE send out NOTEPAD
SPARROW used PECK
This is not good
SPARROW pecked out the last
two sentences.
SPARROW used PECK
This is not good
SPARROW pecked out the last
two sentences.
SPARROW used PECK
This is not good
SPARROW pecked out the last
two sentences.
^C
INFINITE LOOP was CREATED.
Quick! Notepad, Quit!
NOTEPAD: Do you wish to
save battle018.txt? [Yes] [No] [Cancel]
Yes!
NOTEPAD used SAVE
NOTEPAD saved BATTLE
SPARROW got DELETED
SPARROW fainted
NOTEPAD used EXIT
NOTEPAD exited
NOTEPAD fainted
Now, let's use Frontpage
Express
SCRIBE send out FRONTPAGE
EXPRESS
FRONTPAGE EXPRESS got renamed FE
BIRDS ran away
Why?
SCRIBE hears RUMBLING
What's that...?
SCRIBE turned around
What is that?
FE came BUNDLED!
INTERNET EXPLORER appeared!
INTERNET EXPLORER got renamed IE
OUTLOOK EXPRESS appeared!
OUTLOOK EXPRESS got renamed OE
MICROSOFT CHAT appeared!
MICROSOFT CHAT got renamed MC
WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER appeared!
WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER got renamed WMP
MSN MESSENGER SERVICE appeared!
MSN MESSENGER SERVICE got renamed MMS
FE, IE OE, MC, WMP and MMS got bundled into the MICROSOFT
RANGERS!
Wow! My heroes! What will
our Webmaster be jealous when he hears about this.
NARRATOR asks how WEBMASTER
is going to KNOW.
You mean?
NARRATOR reminds SCRIBE
that WEBMASTER has left!
TRANSPARENT VERSION is DEAD!
Ah yes. I suppose we should
fix that, don't we?
NARRATOR agrees!
Let's go search for him.
Frontpage Express, come back!
Well done, FE!
FE was returned to its Pokeball.
FE took the other MICROSOFT RANGERS with him.
Wow! I even caught the
MICROSOFT RANGERS!
SCRIBE took a VICTORIOUS
POSE.
SCRIBE won!
Now, how to get to the
Webmaster...
YELLOW ROAD appeared.
Not one of the most subtle
solutions..
SCRIBE followed YELLOW
ROAD.
Battle #19: Examinations
23 December 2001
Player and Location: See below
Oooh, sweet Krazil. Now, let's go and
kick that Snowager's private parts!
WEBMASTER is... GONE already!
Now then, back to TORTURING some MAIN CHARACTERS!
Location:Transparent Version
Player: Mrs Mime
MR MIME thawed!
That's MRS Mime to you, Narrator.
NARRATOR asks WHY?
Because I won the rights to it in
battle 13!
MR MIME changed GENDER in a BAD LUCK
BATTLE?!
No. I am, and have always been,
female.
NARRATOR is DISTURBED!
Blame the translators.
MR MIME got renamed MRS MIME
That's better.
NARRATOR feels DISTURBED!
NARRATOR reminds NARRATOR to change the NAMING POLICY for
CHARACTERS!
That's what I thought too.
So, anyway, Narrator, what did you have in mind for me today.
NARRATOR is BORED!
So?
NARRATOR wants to TORTURE!
Remember who basically won from the
Narrator in Battle 13.
BATTLE 13 was an UNLUCKY BATTLE!
Not for me.
... and was NARRATED by an
UNLICENSED NARRATOR!
So it'll actually be a challenge
this time?
SILENT!
ASSISTANT appears!
ASSISTANT: Interesting, a female Mr Mime.
MRS MIME!
NARRATOR reminds MRS MIME that...
... only he may use all-caps. We
know...
So, what now?
ASSISTANT researched MRS MIME...
Easy win.
... very intimately!
Wow. Hold it. That's enough!
MRS MIME wants to fight!
MRS MIME used SLAP
MRS MIME bitch-slapped ASSISTANT
ASSISTANT continued his RESEARCH!
Hold it right there!
MRS MIME kicked ASSISTANT in THE
SENSITIVE PARTS!
ASSISTANT rolled over the FLOOR.
Men!
MRS MIME acted FEMINISTIC!
Now, let's continue our trek to...
wherever we want to go to!
NARRATOR looked ANGRY at MRS MIME
Now, now, Narrator, I won. Thaw my
companion, and leave us be!
NARRATOR thawed MR MIME.
MRS MIME and MR MIME walked away.
CHARACTERS these days!
NARRATOR needs to find WEBMASTER to take care of THEM!
Battle #20: Questions
30 December 2001
Player: Scribe
Location:Yellow Road
NARRATOR and SCRIBE meet!
We do?
NARRATOR and SCRIBE do!
I see. So, is there anything you
wanted to know from me?
NARRATOR wants to KNOW WHO writes the BATTLES?!
I do. See, Notepad is still helping,
and then I use a pencil and keyboard and..
NO!
What?
WHO WRITES the BATTLES?!
I do!
NO!
What?
WHO... MAKES UP these BATTLES?
Well, for that I have Frontpage
Express. It's just...
NO!
What?
WHO... THINKS UP these BATTLES?
Ah, that's what you mean. Why didn't
you say so immediately?
NARRATOR sighs.
What?
SCRIBE must ANSWER QUESTION!
Well... It's a good question. Who
thinks up these battles? In normal versions, this is done by the
Webmaster, even though they tend to appear in these battles
themselves as well, something which is not always true, since the
Webmaster can also be seen in fanfics, or not at all when a site
goes for the more traditional battles, this because it is also
often used to give a quick punchline. However, because of
plot-necessities, the Webmaster of this version has disappeared.
Different versions deal different with this situation, for
example, in Red Version writing has been taken over by the
so-called Little Red Writinghood. Of course, a Little Red
Writinghood does not apply to Transparent Version, since the
Little Red Writinghood only is for the Red Version. It might be
that we have a Little Transparent Writinghood, but there has been
no evidence - although some claim this is because they are
transparent - the problem that arises when a Webmaster decides to
use Transparent as the colour for his version. There are, of
course, other possibilities. Writing has been taken over by a
co-webmaster, although this seems unlikely, since none of this
has been announced, and you'd probably would have noticed. The
thing is that, with the very small clues left around, that the
battles may even write themselves - or that the great power of
the Universe causes them to appear on the webserver. In other
words, there is no writer. Of course, that would imply that they
by-pass me, a fact that seems highly unlikely, since I'm still
named Scribe, and that I still write the battles, a fact that is
very confusing if you're also participating in it. So, in short,
I don't know.
SCRIBE ends SPEECH!
READERS stopped SCROLLING!
That's not fair!
READERS did!
Why did I write that down...? Did I
write that down? Who...?
SCRIBE is confused!
Not hurting myself!
SCRIBE hurts itself in its
confusion!
I didn't write that down!
IT is in the BATTLE!
It shouldn't be!
IT is!
Something is wrong here, Narrator.
IT is!
Any suggestions?
FIND the WRITER!
And the Webmaster?
THE WRITER might KNOW!
THE WRITER wrote what THE WEBMASTER did.
Good point. But how do I get to him?
KEEP following the YELLOW ROAD!
Good one.
SCRIBE followed THE YELLOW ROAD!
Tralala!
SCRIBE started to SING!
It's very HORRIBLE!