| What happens when you take the eight best Viridian Version Characters and force them to fight melee-style? Viridian Battle Royale #1!!! (Finished on 7/1/01. There, just to make sure this counts.) And now, the participants.... The designated hero of VV, the only character to be undefeated and have more than 3 wins.... ZARBON! The most likely character to be a mafia boss... the kawaii-klepto.... AZUSA SHIRATORI! Unfortunately, Doomfruit is still at the mercy of the EVIL George W. Bush. And the current villain is already in this Battle Royale, we have decided to pick a character at random and let them participate. And it is..... CHUCK NORRIS!? ... >_< He is DA man, the writer of this battle.... THE VIRIDIAN WEBMASTER! The older brother of the Main Villain, and character who's used... barely... Y2K BUG! The current villain and younger brother of Y2K Bug, an ex-Narrator with luck worse than anybody else... LARRY! Master of Introducing Confusion where none existed before, the Neopian God of Weirdness... MR INSANE! Basically, all of these guys will be fighitng... And whoever wins gets to decide what happens next battle. Let the... stuff, begin! Player: Zarbon ..... The first section of the Battle Royale will take place on the Ice. ICE VERSION! It closed down! Don't even JOKE about that, Clive. All the combatants are in the arena.... And Chuck Norris has already slipped on the ice and apparently he has knocked himself out. Well, that was quick. EEERGH.... Ice? YES! ZARBON is skating on the PRESERVED REMAINS of TISOLL! ... Can't we just let Ice rest in peace? OF COURSE NOT! How could anything REST with people SKATING on it? That's enough. Fanfic Guy? Continue. Azusa was taking advantage of the ice... Meanwhile, everyone else but Zarbon slipped and fell almost instantly. Zarbon was hovering in the air casually. Azusa could have taken the advantage and eliminated most of the competitors then and had a significantly better chance of winning, but then... She saw a cute pair of skates on Larry. AZUSA: OOOOO! PIERRE! PIERRE! LARRY: GET OFF ME, YOU INSANE GIRL! AUZSA used THROW! AZUSA threw LARRY into a WALL! LARRY: Oww... AZUSA: ... Tch, Pierre's still on him! LARRY: What? Nonononononono!!!! AZUSA grabbed LARRY again! LARRY: Why me... According to the cliche, the villain NEVER wins. Unless he or she has "Doom" in his or her name. LARRY was re-named DOOMLARRY! .... ZARBON used NEEDLESSLY LARGE KI BLAST! LARRY fainted! At this point, Azusa was prying Larry's skates off, Zarbon was still hovering in the air, and everyone else (Save the unconscious Chuck Norris) was recovering from their original fall. Azusa got the skates off, and grinned. AZUSA: I bet this will make a cute lil' weapon to bash your brains in with! ^_^ Azusa skated at Y2K Bug, ready to open him up with the skates, when the arena changed to a Jungle. Because of the lack of... Well, Ice.... WORLD SUFFERS FROM LACK OF ICE! WORLD begs KIRA to RE-OPEN ICE VERSION! KIRA: No. Erm, yes, anyway, Azusa tripped and fell. Suddenly, Zarbon has an unexpected realization. MR. INSANE: Zarbon, were you expecting an unexpected realization? How could it be unexpected if I expected it? Enough of this clever banter, I've figured out something... Who put us through all of this misery? Who hired the Narrator? ALL: .... THE WEBMASTER! THAT ZARBON GUY: Um... Heh heh.... AAAAAAAH! TZG used RUN! TZG RAN into KUNO! KUNO used BOKKEN WHAP! TZG was WHAPped by a BOKKEN! KUNO: Amazing, it did not backfire. TZG fainted! BOKKEN is angry because KUNO WHAPped him! KUNO: ... While Kuno dealed with a Bokken Insurrection, Azusa, Y2K Bug, and Mr. Insane decided to make a temporary alliance to take out the greatest threat to all of them: Zarbon. Hm, a ditz, an insane guy, and a failed catastrophe. To tell you the truth, I don't think I'm that afraid. AZUSA wants to fight! MR. INSANE wants to fight! Y2K BUG wants to fight! Heh heh heh... You might've stood a chance if they allowed Pokemon.... MR. INSANE sent out INSANE GUY! Y2K BUG sent out CHAOS! AZUSA sent out AZUSA! .... WHAT? THOSE TWO GET POKEMON? It's only fair... But you're NEVER fair. .... CLIVE is NOW! Enemy INSANE GUY used WEIRDNESS! ZARBON lacked WEIRDNESS! Enemy INSANE GUY saw no REASON to fight ZARBON! INSANE GUY left! Enemy CHAOS used DESTRUCTION! Enemy CHAOS can't expect to WIN with lame ATTACK NAMES like DESTRUCTION! ... Was that a pun? If so, it's a really bad one. CLIVE is running out of MATERIAL! CLIVE goes to COMEDY STORE and buys a few ROUTINES! Okay, let's see here... "Who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on -" ... NEVER MIND! The only thing worse than a Narrator is a Narrator who rips off Abbott and Costello. Admit it, you've lost your touch. Time to retire, Clive... CLIVE is INFURIATED! CHAOS used DESTRUCTION! ZARBON fainted! At about this time, Azusa fell into some quicksand. "Ummm...... A little help? Please?" At about this time, the buzzer sounded and we reached halftime. DA HALFTIME SHOW!!!!!!!! We fade in to the commentators: Jerry Glanville, the personification of Red Doompuff, and Dyslexic Crow. Glanville: Four competitors are out, and the action is just gonna get hotter from here! Doompuff: MUHHH-TROPPPPP-LUHHHSSSSSSSS!!! Glanville: That's right, Doomy. Zarbon was favored to win. The public has now voted that Azusa will win. In second was Kuno, who was fighting his own blade for the last quarter, third was Mr. Insane, and fourth was Y2K Bug. Nobody seems to fear him any more, do they? D-Crow: !epoN Glanville: I'll go through the motivations of the final four competitors. Unless one of you two wants to make a totally incoherent statement. Doompuff: DOOOOOM! D-Crow: !sknaht oN Glanville: Okay, well, firstly, Azusa wants to make some monster fall out of love with her. Kuno wants to fight Ranma Saotome. Y2K Bug wants to fight Larry, and Mr. Insane... nobody has any idea, really. Back to DA BATTLE ROYALE! The new scenario was in a desert, which didn't help Azusa's situation much. Anyway, Kuno had tamed his bokken, and Mr. Insane had decided to fight Y2K Bug. Y2K BUG is a BUG! Y2K BUG: WHAT? Why didn't anyone tell me this? Why didn't Y2K BUG know? MR. INSANE used ROACH MOTEL! Y2K BUG was PUSHED into ROACH MOTEL! ROACH MOTEL's PRICES were very HIGH! Y2K BUG fainted! KUNO: .... Technically, Shiratori cannot fight. AZUSA: HEY! AZUSA was DISQUALIFIED! The last setting was a dojo with weapons everywhere. MR. INSANE grabbed MACE! KUNO grabbed BOKKEN! MR. INSANE used MACE! KUNO: Which Mace is it, anyway? MR. INSANE sprayed KUNO with MACE! KUNO: Oh.... MR. INSANE whacked KUNO with MACE! KUNO: .... WHAT? MACE is a UBER-PAIN BRAND of COMBINATION SPRAY-AND-MEDIEVIL MACE! After that, the fight got vicious before you could say "Holy Crouching Tiger Rip-Off, Batman!" Both competitors were lashing out at each other with every weapon they could get their hands on. Soon, they were engaging in casual conversation. KUNO: ... What are you going to do if you win, anyway? INSANE: I plan to fill a emptiness in my life! KUNO: So that means you don't have anything planned, right? INSANE: ... No. KUNO: As the only person with any motive, I declare that I am the victor! ... No. KUNO: Yes... KUNO is NOT going to win! CLIVE used NARRATOR's CHEATING POWERS! MR. INSANE... left? KUNO.... won? DAMMIT! Back to the main page, nothing to see here. |