| The Viridian Version Mini-Fanfic #1 Starring Clive Arian as himself Tatewaki Kuno as himself. Ranma Saotome as himself Smooth Eddie as himself Seifer Almasy as himself Azusa Shiratori as herself Mysterious Guy as himself Joe Blow as himself Very Large Monster as himself Clayton Neo as himself Larry Nightshade as himself A Whole Lot of Zerg as themselves Zarbon as himself The Evil Pesticide-Laiden Grapefruit of Doom as himself Darth Vader as himself And Jennifer Love-Hewitt as Kerrigan (Ooops, no, forget that, Kerrigan just killed Hewitt. She's playing herself.) Azusa Shiratori, a Very Large Monster, Joe Blow, a Generic Hero, Dr. Neo, and Larry all collapsed on a hill at about the same time. "For... four hours... we've been running from Kerrigan. When is she gonna get tired?" Azusa, being the most physically fit out of the group sat up. "She IS a cute widdle Powerpuff Girl, Larry. She can fly. On, the plus side, she hasn't killed anybody yet." "Besides Cliched Doompuff. Poor guy." Said Generic Hero. At that moment, a weary, slightly charred Cliched Doompuff climbed up the hill. "Why does everyone keep saying that? You saw me escape her, and then you just left me for dead! What gives?" "Jeez, it isn't obvious yet?" Larry asked as he slowly stood up. "Whaa?" "Well, you know how they say that if you say something enough, it will eventually happen?" Joe Blow queried (Running out of words here...) "Why.. you... JIGGLY DISORIENTATION!" Joe Blow hit the ground, dizzy. And he hit it hard. JOE BLOW fainted! DAMMIT! Clive, this is MY gig! Go make an army or something. Um, okay, who to focus on next...? Ooooh, Kerrigan! You know what? I WILL make an army... CLIVE ran away! That was too easy. Anyway, Kerrigan was just sorta... flying around. No, seriously. That's it. "Clive is SO dead." Kerrigan threatened idly, forgetting that every plan she's made has been thwarted by Clive. "Keep it up, Fanfic Wretch, and you're going to be sorry. You saw what I did to Jennifer Love-Hewitt." I'm.... um... gonna go on vacation. My temp will fill in for me. HIIII! I'm the temp! Wow, this will be read by millions of adoring fans! This'll be -- "This universe has two fans, and this whole 'conversation with the fanfic narrator' thing is pretty disturbing." Said Kerrigan. Awww, you're mean! I'm going somewhere else now. Oh, there's Clive and his little friends! Let's join him! "If you call me 'little' again I will annihilate you in ways you cannot imagine." Said Doomfruit. You're even meaner than Kerrigan! Clive's eyes bugged out when I said that. "KERRIGAN?!?!?!? Where? WHERE!?" ^_^ This could be very fun! "Get out of here, fanfic person." I'm his temp! "Whatever." Clive said. HEY! GET OUT OF HERE! *Punch, push, shove, etc* Okay, I, the original fanfic narrator, am back. You know what? Let's just move on to the next-to-last scene and go from there. At Furinkan High, a war had been going on for hours. The "Battle of Stratego". Tatewaki Kuno was defeating Ranma, who proved better at martial arts than planning and strategy. Ranma jumped up, yelled a war cry, and slammed one of his peices into one of Kuno's. "I HAVE A SPY!" Ranma yelled out. "Impossible. I took your spy three hours ago, Saotome." "No, no you didn't! See?" Ranma turned his peice around. "There was a typo! It's a spy with a backwards 's'! See? See?" Kuno scratched his head and took the peice from Ranma. "That's a two, Ranma Saotome." Ranma sat down, annoyed. "It was worth a shot." Suddenly the ground rumbled, and both Kuno and Saotome jumped up, Kuno on a tree, Ranma on a fence. A huge hordge of monsters rushed through. "What are THOSE?" Ranma asked, landing behind the fence. Kuno followed suit. "The Zerg. Alien freaks, really." "You'd do well with them, Kuno." "Shut up." After a few minutes, the Zerg had passed through. "Well, that wasn't so -- THE BOARD! THE GAME BOARD! THEY DESTROYED IT! You evil beasts! I shall get revenge on thee!" Kuno screamed out, drawing his bokken. "... Right. See ya, Kuno." And with that, Ranma left, the score still unsettled. "R-Ranma Saotome... You coward! Come back here! How about poker? Or three card monty? Or --" "Solitaire! Go play solitaire, Kuno!" Ranma yelled over his shoulder, while running off. In the darkest, most cliche room of a mansion, a shadowy figure grinned and cracked his knuckles. "The Zerg will be mine, what with Kerrigan being a Powerpuff and all. All I have to do is press this button right here. That's right, with this machine that has a button that I will press, the Zerg will be under my control. And so I will be unrivaled in power. It will be glori --" "STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL-DOER! I, Mega-Pointlessly-Strong-Man, heard you rambling on in a villainous stupor, and have come to stop whatever you are planning to do!" "How, exactly, did you get your legs back? I thought the Grapefruit of Doom ripped them off." "These are BIONIC legs made of Diet Pepsi cans and AOL CDs! They're INDESTRUCTA-" The Shadowy Mysterious Person charged, and with the shadows still on him for some reason, kicked M-P-S-M in the face, then knocked him through the wall with a left hook. "That was too easy. Now, I shall --" Press the damn button, already. "Sure, quicken your own doom - HEY! What the... ?" And then he pressed the button. "You really suck. Ruining a villains fun. But I will go through my entire speech anyway, because it's too good to pass up. *Ahem* When I was a young --" Who is this mysterious person who writes speeches and stuff? Will Kerrigan get her revenge on Clive? Will Kuno get his revenge on the Zerg? Will Myron get revenge on his parens for giving him such a stupid name? Tune in next time for all that stuff. Now you must review here. Just do it. I'm not in the mood for puns. I'm not Clive. I''m a different person. Why does nobody appreciate me? It's either me or the temp... You don't like the temp better, do you? Do you? .... You all suck. 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