civil



		Battle #11

	"The Civil War" was basically the introduction to Doompuff to the White Version. I don't think Doompuff hasn't been in any version. Also, it's Jess' first main battle!

			Battle #12 Wherefore Art Thou Clinton? Player: Mary (Loss vs. Doompuff, Battle #11) Uhh...I have a terrible ****** headache... CARTMAN is swearing! Hey, you think it's easy wearing these clothes in Florida in the middle of summer?! Who said CARTMAN was in FLORIDA?! I did! CARTMAN used HOTWATER on himself! What? CARTMAN is devolving! CARTMAN devolved to DACTA MPR! Oh crap. I lost Jess again. JESS MPR is buried in SAND! ARROW is STICKING out of JESS MPR'S CHEST! Hey...if she was the one killed by the arrow, then why did I have to faint too? JESS MPR and DACTA MPR are UNITED at HEART! Uh. Sounds like some cheasy Shakespeare. SHAKESPEARE appeared! Oh crud. Pokebattles is pure irony, isn't it? But of course! SHAKESPEARE: I do not like you down-sizing my beautiful literature! Now you shall die! I guess this means... SHAKESPEARE wants to fight! Bring it on! ahem Poofypantsguy ahem SHAKESPEARE heard that! SHAKESPEARE sent out JULIETTE! Muahahaha! Pencils, go! ONEPECIL came out! DACTA MPR's power is WEAK alone! Stupid memory. Go...me! DACTA MPR, go! JULIETTE: Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo? ROMEO appeared! ROMEO swept JULIETTE off her FEET! JULIETTE was DISQUALIFIED! SHAKESPEARE: Stupid young lovers. SHAKESPEARE sent out PEN! In that case, go, Sword! Come back, DACTA MPR! Get'm, SWORD! SHAKESPEARE: Ha ha! The pen is mighter than the sword! Oh shut up! Sword, kill him! SWORD used KILL! One hit K-O! SHAKESPEARE was killed! AMERICANHISTORY was changed FOREVER! For heaven's sake! Shakespeare wasn't even AMERICAN! Still! Argh! JESS MPR is now a SLAVE! Hey! Jess isn't black! Hey! Hey! JESS MPR is a PHILLIPINO! So? So BILLCLINTON does not like PHILLIPINOS! I knew that Democrap was trouble! Clinton, you're MINE! BILLCLINTON: You wanna get it on, hone'? You sicko cheater! You disgust me terribly!! You really ARE the downfall of American society! DACTA MPR realizes if she DEFEATS BILLCLINTON everything will RETURN to NORMAL! Not that it was normal before... Oh shut up! BILLCLINTON wants to get it on! Argh, I'll have to do this myself. BILLCLINTON wants to fight! BILLCLINTON wants to fight! To be continued... Will Dacta MPR triumph against Bill Clinton, the strippin'est-erm, strongest man in the U.S.A.? Or will she rot in her Republican shoes? Find out, on the next Opera-erm, Pokebattle!
Battle #11 The Civil War Player: Jess, Mighty Pencil Ruler (Loss vs. Voo Doo Bunny) Finally, I get my own battle. Ahhh, the words "Jess, Mighty Pencil Ruler" sound so refined. NARRATOR has says JESS MPR has a BLOATEDEGO! Shut up! Hey, Dacta? Where are we going? DACTA MPR: Good question. You mean you don't know where we're going?! DACTA MPR: Preciseley. Argh. PORTAL to AQUAVERSION appeared! Say what? DACTA MPR and JESS MPR are being SUCKED into PORTAL! Nooo! I don't want to go to the Aqua Version! DACTA MPR used PENCILBUBBLES! PENCILBUBBLES clogged up PORTAL! SOMETHING fell out of PORTAL! It is DOOMPUFF! Y-you don't mean the....the REAL Doompuff do you? Yes, I do! Oh crap! DOOMPUFF is hungry! DOOMPUFF is giving HUNGRYLOOKS at DACTA MPR and JESS MPR! Oh my gosh! The `puff wants to eat us! DOOMPUFF used RABIDBITE! DACTA MPR and JESS MPR barely evaded attack! gasp Dacta, we can't win! We're going to have to somehow shove it back into the portal! DACTA MPR believes that the PENCILDUO can BEAT DOOMPUFF! Uh, yeah. What've you been smoking? DACTA MPR: I think I might have a chance...Jess, splash me! ?! DACTA MPR: Forget it. DACTA MPR used COLDWATER on herself! What? DACTA MPR is evolving! DACTA MPR evolved into CARTMAN! And this is suppose to help us...because? CARTMAN believes DOOMPUFF should RESPECT his AUTHORITY! DOOMPUFF became CARTMAN'S slave! CARTMAN: Oh yeah! Interesting strategy... CARTMAN told DOOMPUFF to BEAT itself to a BLOODYPULP! DOOMPUFF doesn't want to! CARTMAN: Argh...blame Doompuff... EVERYONE began BLAMING DOOMPUFF! At least they're not blaming innocent Canada... DOOMPUFF does not like WHITEVERSION'S discrimination! DOOMPUFF jumped back into PORTAL to AQUAVERSION! PORTAL to AQUAVERSION disappeared! We...won? Wahoo! We're the first Pokebattle characters in history to win against Doompuff! Let's celebrate, Dacta! Vacation! CARTMAN reminds you about LAST TIME we went on VACATION! But we won! DOOMPUFF threw ARROW from PORTAL! Oh crap! CARTMAN and JESS MPR fainted! JESS MPR and CARTMAN lost to DOOMPUFF!