Battle #22 to 26

These two battles are insane, just like all White Version battles. 22 may be different from the origanal version, because I lost the first one when the damn computer was slow.

Battle #23 May 26th, 2000
Evil Dragon Tales
Player: Lance of Da Elite Four (Watched Lance Bass get beaten vs. Britiney Spears, Battle #16)


LANCE appeared!
It's been a while since I've had a battle...*grumble*
LANCE should SHUTUP!
POKEBATTLES have been especially BLOODY these DAYS!
That's...encouraging.
MAX and ELLY appeared!
It's those little brats from Dragon Tales!
LANCE is correct!
I'm ALWAYS correct.
LANCE should not LIE!
Shut up...
MAX: I don't want to be in a motivational show anymore. I want to kill! Slay! I want blood to fly!
ELLY: Ditto!
MAX and ELLY have become SUICIDAL!
That's...scary.
MAX and ELLY notice LANCE!
Iiiieee!
ELLY: Dragon Master Lance must die...
Eep! Children of the Corn!
CHILDREN of the KORN!
No, no, wrong corn, you idiot Narrator!
NARRATOR is not an IDIOT!
ELLY and MAX want to fight!
Might as well...
MAX sent out ORD!
LANCE has no POKEMON!
You liar, I have other Pokemon than Evil Dragonite! Go, Aerodactyl!
.......................
Oh c'mon, I have an Aerodactyl!
Go, FIELDYFAN!
That was uncalled for. Althought Fieldy Fan looks shockingly like Dacta MPR...
ORD used MOTIVATIONALNESS!
It doesn't effect FIELDYFAN!
FIELDYFAN used *NSYNCMUSTDIE!
*NSYNCFAN: Oh, the humanity!
*NSYNCFAN fainted!
That was interesting...
ORD is still standing...
Er...use your Mosh Pit!
FIELDYFAN used MOSHPIT!
ORD was thrown into MOSHPIT!
ORD: Hey, let's make friends!
MOSHPITMEMBER: No way, freak!
MOSHPITMEMBER used PUNCH!
ORD fainted!
Wa-hoo!
LANCE won against ELLY and MAX!
Ha, that was the only Pokemon you had? Hah, you kids are pathetic!
ELLY and MAX are giving LANCE threatening LOOKS!
ELLY and MAX are cornering LANCE!
What are you doing...creepy kids....?
ELLY and MAX pulled out KNIVES!
OH LORD!
LANCE ran away screaming!
ELLY and MAX: Ha ha!

Battle #22
The Wrong Twelve
Player: Heroine (Loss vs. Jess MPR)

Hear me, fellow Twelve members! The White Version must be destroyed!
TWELVE: Hear hear!
WHITEWEBMASTER appeared!
Why do the characters of White Version always want to destroy it?
It is an age-long tradition of Pokebattles!
TWELVE: Right!
WHITEWEBMASTER is sighing!
*sigh* Better just walk away...
WHITEWEBMASTER walked away!
OFF-KEY BTVS music is PLAYING!
DR.DECKER, VAMPIRE SLAYER appeared!
DR.DECKER is in BADSHAPE!
Where have you been, Decker?
DR.DECKER: Beaten...by...Jason...Ross...
*sigh* Oh well. Now, my fellow Twelve members, we take on the White Version! But we shall not take the Webmaster first! No! We shall first slay the Pencil Duo and Bill "That Cello" Smith!
TWELVE: Here here!
They're changing the spelling of "hear..."
FATHERCHARLIE, VAMPIRE/PASTOR stands up!
FATHERCHARLIE: Why do we have the name of the Holy Twelve? It is against my beliefs!
You have a BETTER name?
HEROINE has a point!
FATHERCHARLIE was silent!
Good. Now, let's go get'm!
Get'm, HEROINE!
Oh, shut up Narrator...
What? TWELVE is evolving!
TWELVE evolved to ANGRYMOB!
PENCILDUO appeared!
DACTA MPR: What's with the madness?
You must be stopped! Muahahahahahaha!
JESS MPR: Geez, if these are the good guys, who needs the bad guys?!
If we were the bad guys, you would be automatically dubbed as the good guys!
PENCILDUO is THINKING about this!
PENCILDUO: Ewwww!
Now we destroy you!
ANGRYMOB used TORCHES!
PENCILDUO: MY LORD!!
PENCILDUO ran away SCREAMING!
ANGRYMOB won against PENCILDUO!
Heh...that was easy.
My...I guess the White Version is doomed. *sigh*
You've got that right bud!
ANGRYMOB charged away to DESTROY the WHITEVERSION!
*sigh* I guess they'll never learn...
WHITEWEBMASTER walked away DISCOURAGED!
ANGRYMOB won against WHITEWEBMASTER!
Woo-hoo! We rock!

Battle #25 June 1st, 2000
Mission: Improbable
Player: White Version Webmaster (Loss vs. Angry Mob)

So you thought there would be the sequel to the Beesquito battle, eh? Well, you're wrong! While in the shower, Dacta came up with an obsurd battle idea. However, the Beesquito battle WILL have its sequel...eventually...
WHITEWEBMASTER is surfing INTERNET!
WHITEWEBMASTER is also UPDATING!
Multi-talented...
WHITEWEBMASTER has a new MESSAGE!
Hmmm? From whom?
From JASONROSS!
MESSAGE: Your mission: make it to the top of the Network. How you will do it: Make this the best damn site.
NARRATOR points out that's NOT how the MESSAGE looked in MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE!
Oh shut up. I was on the computer when I was watching it.
MESSAGE: This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Oh no you don't! You're gonna blow my computer!
MESSAGE used SELF-DESTRUCT!
Nooo!
But, it failed!
Huh? Self-Destruct never fails!
WHITEWEBMASTER has a point!
Oh no I don't!
WHITEWEBMASTER is brainless!
Not that the Narrator has a brain either...
NARRATOR: I will just ignore that comment...
What? WHITEWEBMASTER is evolving!
WHITEWEBMASTER evolved to SUPERSPY!
Well, at least I get cool shades...
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE music is PLAYING!
Mission: Impossible? This is Mission: Improbable. #1. Aqua will always reign the Network and #2. Mission: Impossible is already copyrighted.
NARRATOR points out ERIC MHE is a PSYCHOPATH!
You have a good point...
ERIC MHE appeared!
Uh oh...
ERIC MHE: You're mine now, you son of an onion!
Ahhh! Cool Shades, go!
Go, COOLSHADES!
ERIC MHE sent out ARBOK!
Cool Shades...Coolness?
COOLSHADES used COOLNESS!
COOLSHADES are very COOL!
ARBOK wants to WEAR the COOLSHADES!
Fine...just wear them.
ARBOK is wearing COOLSHADES!
ARBOK is cooler than ERIC MHE!
ARBOK betrayed ERIC MHE!
ERIC MHE: *sigh* Judis-snake...
ARBOK ran away wearing COOLSHADES!
ERIC MHE and SUPERSPY won against ARBOK!
...................
So, you like coffee?
ERIC MHE: No.
Tough.
SUPERSPY is dragging ERIC MHE away to get COFFEE!
ERIC MHE: But I don't even LIKE coffee! Wahhhh!
ERIC MHE was forced to DRINK the COFFEE!
ERIC MHE: Moca?! Nooo!
ERIC MHE fainted!
That's one guy that can't hold his coffee....I like that in a man.
SUPERSPY won against ERIC MHE!
And next time...the sequel to the Beesquito battle! Find out, on the next Opera-erm, Pokebattle!

Battle #24 May 30th, 2000
Beesquitos & Such
Player: Mary (Loss vs. Angry Mob, Battle #22)

What? DACTA MPR is devolving!
DACTA MPR devolved to MARY!
Ohhh...this isn't fair!
Well, LIFE isn't FAIR!
Agh...why can't it be not fair in my favour?
BECAUSE!
MARY has to go to SCHOOL!
Nooo...
BEESQUITO appeared!
Beesquito?! Better check my Microsoft 95 Pokedex...
POKEDEX is out of DATE!
MARY must get very expensive UPGRADE!
Not now, just give me info.
POKEDEX: Touchy...
BEESQUITO- A bee/mosquito regular insect. It is known to attack vulnerable eyelids.
Uh oh...
MARY shouldn't worry!
BEESQUITO just fed on JESS anyway!
BEESQUITO asks you to WAIT until he's HUNGRY again!
Heh heh...that's what YOU think...
MARY used RUNAWAY!
But, it failed!
When I WANT to run away it never works...
Hey, you said I had to go to school!
NARRATOR changed his MIND!
Agh...you PMS like a female...
NARRATOR is insulted!
NARRATOR made BEESQUITO be HUNGRY again!
Crap!
BEESQUITO: Bzzzzz!
MARY must put on her NIKES to RUNAWAY!
Nikes?! When did you start advertizing?!
POKEBATTLES has always been a SALESMAN for NIKE! JASONROSS' main E-MAIL has NIKE in it!
True, true.
MARY tried to put on NIKES!
SHOELACES attacked!
Not NOW!
Yes, now!
But I have a beesquito that's bloodthirsty for me!
NARRATOR doesn't care!
SHOELACES are WHIPPING MARY!
CAT was ATTRACTED to moving SHOELACES!
Get the shoelaces, kitty!
CAT is not a KITTY!
But CAT ate SHOELACES anyway!
Finally...now I can run away...
CAT ran away!
MARY won against CAT!
No, no, I meant ME, not the cat!
NARRATOR knows!
NARRATOR just want to make your LIFE miserable!
*singing* You make me completely miserable.
NARRATOR knows!
BEESQUITO still wants to DRINK your BLOOD!
Where's Dr. Decker when you need him?!
NARRATOR points out DR.DECKER is a VAMPIRESLAYER, not a BEESQUITOSLAYER!
DUFFY appeared!
Duffy?!
DUFFY is a BEESQUITO slayer!
DUFFY will help MARY!
Thank God...
GOD: You better thank me!
To be continued...
What will happen next time when Duffy fights the Beesquito that nearly killed Jess? Will Duffy win? Find out, on the next OPERA-erm, POKEBATTLE!

Battle #26 June 3rd, 2000
Duffy Is Not Buffy
Player: Mary (Win vs. Cat, Battle #24)

Duffy, are you SURE you're experianced?!
DUFFY is a TOP-OF-THE-LINE BEESQUITOSLAYER!
DUFFY even had his own FOX SPECIAL!
Oh yeah...that really makes me feel ensured.
BEESQUITO: Bzzzzz!
Buffy, do something!
DUFFY is not BUFFY!
But DUFFY will do SOMETHING!
DUFFY did SOMETHING!
It doesn't effect BEESQUITO!
Eeep! I'll have to handle this myself! Nikes, go!
Go, NIKES!
Nikes, use Too Expensive!
NIKES are FULL of THEMSELVES!
NIKES fell asleep!
Ooooh!
BEESQUITO used SUCK!
BEESQUITO thinks NIKES SUCK!
JASONROSS is appalued!
JASONROSS: Why you!
BEESQUITO used DEVOUR!
BEESQUITO devoured JASONROSS!
He just devoured the webmaster of Pokebattles!!!
NIKES think they're COOL!
NIKES ran away to PROVE they're COOL!
Damn! Go, Bread!
BREAD?!
Hey, it's morning! I can send out bread! Even if I do want to eat it...
Whatever! Go, BREAD!
Bread, use your Toast attack!
BREAD does not want to COMMITSUICIDE!
BREAD is loafing around!
No pun intended!
Actually, it was!
Shut up...
BEESQUITO used DEVOUR!
BEESQUITO devoured BREAD!
I shouldn't send out food, should I?
MARY is FOOD to BEESQUITO!
Uh oh...
BEESQUITO used DEVOUR!
MARY was DEVOURED!
Nooo!
MARY landed on JASONROSS in BEESQUITO'S stomach!
JASONROSS: God, you're heavy!
What?!
MARY used DOUBLESLAP!
Hit 6 times!
It's not legal but...NEVER call a lady fat!!
JASONROSS: Owww...
DUFFY used SLAY!
BEESQUTIO evaded attack!
BEESQUITO used DEVOUR!
DUFFY was DEVOURED!
Crap...now they're no hope left.
DUFFY landed on BREAD!
DUFFY: Just dropping in!
What do we do now?
DUFFY: Let's sing Kum-bai-ya!
..................
How long are we going to stay in here?
Until JESS comes in and SAVES you!
..................
JASONROSS, DUFFY & BREAD: Kum-bai-ya my Lord...Kum-bai-ya...
...................
LEMME OUTTA HERE!!!!
MARY, JASONROSS and DUFFY lost to BEESQUITO!
BEESQUITO: Bzzzz!