xmen



		Battle #53 June 14th, 2000 It's Gonna Be Them (sorry if this has been a title before...) Player: Lance Bass (Loss vs. Max and Elly) I hope you realize it's Max and Emmy, not Max and Elly, sometime. NARRATOR thinks you should SHUT UP! Grrr... DACTA MPR appeared! DACTA MPR gave LANCEBASS the FINGER! Hey...why?! I didn't do anything to you! DACTA MPR says you are PART of NSUCK! Yeah, so? DACTA MPR used RUSSIANKICK! Eeep! LANCEBASS just barely EVADED attack! LANCEBASS is lucky TOO! Cuz LANCEBASS knows where RUSSIANKICK always HITS! O.O LANCEBASS is holding his AHEM TENDERLY! Quiet...the RSACi and Jason Ross are going to get you... RSACi appeared! NARRATOR was CARTED away! RSACi looked at LANCEBASS! RSACi: Please kindly stop clutching that. RSACi disappeared! Whoa...RSACi is a bad boy... DACTA MPR still thinks NSYNC suck! So does JESS MPR! And so does FIELDYFAN! Didn't Fieldy Fan evolve into something way back? Who knows! The RECORDS only go to BATTLE 18! I guess White Webmistress is effetient. sigh Quiet, you! NSUC-erm, NSYNC appeared! DACTA MPR: Here. Try my new lyrics to "It's Gonna Be Me." 'Them' and 'they' are you guys, ok? NSYNC: Ok! How can you guys be so gullible!? NSYNC doesn't know! NSYNC began singing LYRICS! LYRICS were EXPLICIT! LYRICS were stamped with PARENTAL ADVISORY! Let's see... Whoa! How could someone that young think up something like that?! She hasn't even experianced it, it's nothing like that! EVERYONE used GASP! LANCEBASS isn't a VIRIGIN?! Wait, I didn't mean that! You see, those aren't the lyrics to the friggin song! It talks about something else... EVERYONE used RELIEVEDSIGH! NSYNCFAN appeared! Didn't she evolve into something way back too? PROBABLY! Then why is she... never mind. Ally LANCE appeared! Finally you- WHAT THE FORK HAPPENED TO YOU?! Ally LANCE: Hey, just between battles, I got hungry, oK? I accidently ate some of that Ton-Tongue Toffee thingies. You imbecile! You have to avoid toffees from wizards at all costs! Ally LANCE: It looked fairly innocent. And look what my tongue can do NOW! Ally LANCE can touch his TOES with his TONGUE! At least you can get a proper cleaning for once. sigh NSYNC is still SINGING! NSYNC was CARTED away by RSACi! NSYNC: Bye, bye, bye! EVERYONE won against NSYNC! DACTA MPR: Whoo hoo! I won again! BATTLE ended! ...................... Hey, why'm I still here? anyone here? Damn, I'm in Limbo. Da da DA! Well, might as well. LANCEBASS is LIMBOING!
Battle #52 June 14th, 2000 The True X-Men Player: Wolverine (No Record) WOLVERINE is part of CHEAP NEW MOVIE! Yeah...I figured as much. Not to mention the cheap White Version. I resent that remark! WHITEWEBMISTRESS is angry! Oh my. WHITEWEBMISTRESS wants to fight! S'pose I don't have a choice. Not really! Fine. I'll fight. Go, me. WOLVERINE isn't very ENTHUSIASTIC! Fine. How's this? Go! Me! Go, WOLVERINE! WHITEWEBMISTRESS sent out WHITEVERSION! Not a very wise decision. Oh can it! Me, use Extend Claws. WOLVERINE used EXTENDCLAWS! CLAWS were EXTENDED! Now I'll just sit back and watch out for whatever White Webmistress makes the White Version do. WHITEVERSION used UPDATE! WHITEVERSION was UPDATED! JASONROSS used LOL! JASONROSS was LOLed into SUBMISSION! ....... That person is disturbing. Yeah, you've got that right. Me, use Slash. WOLVERINE used UNENTHUSIASTIC SLASH! Wait, I just wanted to do Slash. TOUGH! WHITEVERSION was SLASHED to PIECES! Oh, that's great...grumble WHITEVERSION died! How can a website die? It CAN! WHITEVERSION got very EXPENSIVE FUNERAL! sniff And I remember the days when... This is frightfully boring. ACTOR who plays WOLVERINE is suppose to be AUSTRALIAN, not ENGLISH! Only the ENGLISH say FRIGHTFULLY! Not nessisarly! Geez...this is frightfully boring... SEE?! This White Version place is dead, how am I still in this battle? The POKEBATTLES UNIVERSE is a STRANGE place! I figured as much. WOLVERINE is figuring! WOLVERINE knows CALCULUS! Heh. You wish. Well...then FLASH knows CALCULUS! I do? Doesn't ANYONE know CALCULUS!? I do! .................. PLEASE! You're only TEN! humph I'll show ya. WHITEWEBMISTRESS used VERYCOMPLICATEDCALCULUSPROBLEM! EVERYONE used GASP! JASONROSS thinks WHITEWEBMISTRESS is a SHOWOFF! Very interesting though. Oh shut up, WOLVERINE! WOLVERINE was kicked out of BATTLE! WOLVERINE lost against EVERYONE! I see my future now... It resembles Dacta MPR's many losses. That's RIGHT! Now get SCRUBBING! Scrubbing? WOLVERINE is in HELL! WOLVERINE has to clean SATAN's TOILETS! How low is this?!


			Battle #55 July 22nd, 2000 Music of My Fart Player: Kelly (Win vs. Heroine) So one of my ally's is wasted and is flying? Well, not really FLYING! Ally BRITNEY is... Well, NARRATOR doesn't WANT to TALK about it! sniff Sorry... NSUC-erm, NSYNC appeared! NSYNC said HELLO to NARRATOR! That's right, you know them don't you? NARRATOR nodded! Wasn't NSYNC caught using explicit language in Battle #53? NSYNC doesn't read BATTLES! So NSYNC doesn't CARE! Why don't you read the White Version battles? I mean, you're IN them, man! NSYNC aren't PUPPETS! NO STRINGS ATTACHED! Buy it today on CD! You know what? Why do you call yourself NSYNC? You're not quite..."in sync." NSYNC is NSULTED! Really. REALLY! NSYNC wants to fight! Go ahead. Go, Cello Bow. KELLY needs to use more CREATIVE POKEMON! For God's sake, they're not even really POKEMON! NARRATOR knows! NARRATOR laughs! I don't even LIKE Pokemon. NSYNC used GASP! NSYNC is NSHOCK! Yeah, ok. The first time it was funny, now it's just not. NARRATOR thinks it is! Cello Bow, use Rosin Up! CELLO BOW used ROSIN UP! ROSIN went UP! ROSIN went up CHRIS' NOSE! CHRIS: At least those flys up there will have some food. Don't they feast on your boogers? CHRIS: Nah, that's my food. KELLY used BLINK! KELLY is BLINKING! NSYNC fainted! My that was quick. WHITEWEBMISTRESS needs to get up NEW BATTLE! WHITEWEBMISTRESS shoved KELLY aside! Can you at least say I won? Fine. KELLY won against NSYNC! Now move! Move! KELLY was shoved into OBLIVION! Oops. Ahhhhhh- KELLY was cut off! WHITEWEBMISTRESS looked into BLACKHOLE! She's gonna be feeling that one in the morning. ........................... Or not. KELLY STILL mysteriously WON however!!

Battle #54 June 15th, 2000 Speak Up, Son Player: Mary (A win, versus I don't remember) singing I ain't got nobody...that I can depend on. Just me, myself and I. NARRATOR points out that's STILL depending on SOMEONE! Shaddap. FLASHFIRE is online! Alrighty. Let's annoy him some. DACTA MPR yahooed FLASHFIRE! Yahooed?! Well, there's IM and YAHOO! Ah. I got it. FLASHFIRE isn't SPEAKING! Has he become mute? NO! Then why isn't he speaking? BECAUSE! You're very aggrivating, Narrator. NARRATOR knows! It's NARRATOR's LIFE! Get a better life. NARRATOR went to LIFE SHOPPE! NARRATOR got new LIFE! NARRATOR is now a new ADDITION to NYSNC! Oh boy. Dat's right! Hey, who are you? I'm Jason Ross. I'm the substitute for the Narrator. Why aren't you doing caps? Because I don't feel like it. Argh. Flashfire continues not to talk Can't you at least put the excalmation point at the end? No You're worse than the old Narrator! Jason Ross used Evil Laugh It's super evil Dacta mpr continues to try and get Flashfire to talk Geez, he's like some bad fugitive from NYPD Blue... Nypd Blue is a bad show for kids You don't even capitalize the NYPD?! Nope But you're suppose to! Tough Flashfire isn't gonna talk he tellz ya How can he "tellz me" he isn't going to talk when if he's not talking?! Jason Ross doesn't know This is a very aggrivating battle. Police appeared Police carted fugitive Flashfire away Fine! I'll talk. I was just illegally changing the super secret IRC network for an annoymous agent! Police stared at Flashfire Oops! I shouldn't've said it was an annoymous agent! Oops! I really shouldn't've said it was a super secret IRC network! And whoa! I CERTAINLY shouldn't've said it's an illegal network! Ugh. It's too hot today. Jason Ross points out that's from the Simpsons Already copyrighted Screw the copyrights! Copyrights were screwed That's nasty. And I still want the old Narrator back. Nsync appeared Narrator is with Nysync Narrator: I'M having the TIME of my LIFE! sniff I miss those caps... I miss that perky annoyingness. WAHHH! I WANT THE OLD NARRATOR BACK! Narrator: FINE! I'm COMING back ANYWAY! Narrator kicked out Jason Ross Ahhhhhh! HELP me! Yeah, NOW you do caps. OLDNARRATOR is back! DACTA MPR hugged OLDNARRATOR! OLDNARRATOR blushed! THE END was scrawled across SCENE! THE END was placed in SAPPYDISNEYMOVIE! BATTLE ended! Thank God...

	Battle #56 July 22nd, 2000 Arse Pains Player: Mary (Geez, I forgot her whole record. shrugs Oh well.) My butt hurts. Why? I want a new butt... Stop AVOIDING NARRATOR's QUESTIONS! Fine. I just trotted on the bumpiest horse on Earth. WEBMASTERS are IGNORANT of HORSE TERMS! sigh Will you leave my version alone? WEBMASTERS: NO! We will not let you go! QUEEN: Let him go! No Queen. I need relaxation. QUEEN is very RELAXING! No. It's depressing. He just KILLED a man in that song. SO? EVERYONE makes MISTAKES! Just be quiet. DACTA MPR is being a BUTTHOLE! ARGH QUIET! DACTA MPR is already PMSing! And it's NOT even THAT time of MONTH! Yeah, just announce it to the whole world. DACTA MPR is watching a bad DIASTER thing on ABC! ABC has too much DIASTER movies these DAYS! Yeah, it's getting annoying. Now they're talking about an apocalypse. And everyone knows the only apocalypse happening is the Pencil Apocalypse. DACTA MPR wishes! Maybe if DACTA MPR stopped SITTING on her ARSE, the PENCILAPOCALYPSE would GET somewhere! Well, the fact I'm on a constant search for Jess sure doesn't help. JESS MPR is right THERE! Oh. That's nice. DACTA MPR sipped LEMONADE! ACK! Crystal Light! You can TELL the DIFFERANCE?! Of course I can! Crystal Light is coloured water! DACTA MPR is FORCED to DRINK CRYSTAL LIGHT! Then I won't drink. DAYS past! DACTA MPR must DRINK! Or DACTA MPR will DIE! Need...more...water... SUPERSOAKERCOMMERICALKIDS appeared! SSCK: More water! SSCK squirted DACTA MPR with WATER! Spray it in my mouth... SSCK sprayed everywhere BUT DACTA MPR's MOUTH! SSCK disappeared! Just a mirage? PROBABLY! DACTA MPR is DYING! Uhhh... DACTA MPR sees GOD! God...save...me... GOD: You have insulted my Jewish people too many times! You shall lay here to die! Have mercy! GOD is CONSIDERING! GOD finally GAVE MERCY! DACTA MPR was DEAD by then! ................ GOD: Oh my me! She's dead! ............... DEATH BELLS sounded! GOD won against DACTA MPR! To be continued... Is Dacta MPR really dead? Nah, probably not, or else this wouldn't be a to be continued. Find out, on the next OPRAH-erm, POKEBATTLE!



		Battle #53 June 14th, 2000 It's Gonna Be Them (sorry if this has been a title before...) Player: Lance Bass (Loss vs. Max and Elly) I hope you realize it's Max and Emmy, not Max and Elly, sometime. NARRATOR thinks you should SHUT UP! Grrr... DACTA MPR appeared! DACTA MPR gave LANCEBASS the FINGER! Hey...why?! I didn't do anything to you! DACTA MPR says you are PART of NSUCK! Yeah, so? DACTA MPR used RUSSIANKICK! Eeep! LANCEBASS just barely EVADED attack! LANCEBASS is lucky TOO! Cuz LANCEBASS knows where RUSSIANKICK always HITS! O.O LANCEBASS is holding his AHEM TENDERLY! Quiet...the RSACi and Jason Ross are going to get you... RSACi appeared! NARRATOR was CARTED away! RSACi looked at LANCEBASS! RSACi: Please kindly stop clutching that. RSACi disappeared! Whoa...RSACi is a bad boy... DACTA MPR still thinks NSYNC suck! So does JESS MPR! And so does FIELDYFAN! Didn't Fieldy Fan evolve into something way back? Who knows! The RECORDS only go to BATTLE 18! I guess White Webmistress is effetient. sigh Quiet, you! NSUC-erm, NSYNC appeared! DACTA MPR: Here. Try my new lyrics to "It's Gonna Be Me." 'Them' and 'they' are you guys, ok? NSYNC: Ok! How can you guys be so gullible!? NSYNC doesn't know! NSYNC began singing LYRICS! LYRICS were EXPLICIT! LYRICS were stamped with PARENTAL ADVISORY! Let's see... Whoa! How could someone that young think up something like that?! She hasn't even experianced it, it's nothing like that! EVERYONE used GASP! LANCEBASS isn't a VIRIGIN?! Wait, I didn't mean that! You see, those aren't the lyrics to the friggin song! It talks about something else... EVERYONE used RELIEVEDSIGH! NSYNCFAN appeared! Didn't she evolve into something way back too? PROBABLY! Then why is she... never mind. Ally LANCE appeared! Finally you- WHAT THE FORK HAPPENED TO YOU?! Ally LANCE: Hey, just between battles, I got hungry, oK? I accidently ate some of that Ton-Tongue Toffee thingies. You imbecile! You have to avoid toffees from wizards at all costs! Ally LANCE: It looked fairly innocent. And look what my tongue can do NOW! Ally LANCE can touch his TOES with his TONGUE! At least you can get a proper cleaning for once. sigh NSYNC is still SINGING! NSYNC was CARTED away by RSACi! NSYNC: Bye, bye, bye! EVERYONE won against NSYNC! DACTA MPR: Whoo hoo! I won again! BATTLE ended! ...................... Hey, why'm I still here? anyone here? Damn, I'm in Limbo. Da da DA! Well, might as well. LANCEBASS is LIMBOING!
Battle #52 June 14th, 2000 The True X-Men Player: Wolverine (No Record) WOLVERINE is part of CHEAP NEW MOVIE! Yeah...I figured as much. Not to mention the cheap White Version. I resent that remark! WHITEWEBMISTRESS is angry! Oh my. WHITEWEBMISTRESS wants to fight! S'pose I don't have a choice. Not really! Fine. I'll fight. Go, me. WOLVERINE isn't very ENTHUSIASTIC! Fine. How's this? Go! Me! Go, WOLVERINE! WHITEWEBMISTRESS sent out WHITEVERSION! Not a very wise decision. Oh can it! Me, use Extend Claws. WOLVERINE used EXTENDCLAWS! CLAWS were EXTENDED! Now I'll just sit back and watch out for whatever White Webmistress makes the White Version do. WHITEVERSION used UPDATE! WHITEVERSION was UPDATED! JASONROSS used LOL! JASONROSS was LOLed into SUBMISSION! ....... That person is disturbing. Yeah, you've got that right. Me, use Slash. WOLVERINE used UNENTHUSIASTIC SLASH! Wait, I just wanted to do Slash. TOUGH! WHITEVERSION was SLASHED to PIECES! Oh, that's great...grumble WHITEVERSION died! How can a website die? It CAN! WHITEVERSION got very EXPENSIVE FUNERAL! sniff And I remember the days when... This is frightfully boring. ACTOR who plays WOLVERINE is suppose to be AUSTRALIAN, not ENGLISH! Only the ENGLISH say FRIGHTFULLY! Not nessisarly! Geez...this is frightfully boring... SEE?! This White Version place is dead, how am I still in this battle? The POKEBATTLES UNIVERSE is a STRANGE place! I figured as much. WOLVERINE is figuring! WOLVERINE knows CALCULUS! Heh. You wish. Well...then FLASH knows CALCULUS! I do? Doesn't ANYONE know CALCULUS!? I do! .................. PLEASE! You're only TEN! humph I'll show ya. WHITEWEBMISTRESS used VERYCOMPLICATEDCALCULUSPROBLEM! EVERYONE used GASP! JASONROSS thinks WHITEWEBMISTRESS is a SHOWOFF! Very interesting though. Oh shut up, WOLVERINE! WOLVERINE was kicked out of BATTLE! WOLVERINE lost against EVERYONE! I see my future now... It resembles Dacta MPR's many losses. That's RIGHT! Now get SCRUBBING! Scrubbing? WOLVERINE is in HELL! WOLVERINE has to clean SATAN's TOILETS! How low is this?!


			Battle #55 July 22nd, 2000 Music of My Fart Player: Kelly (Win vs. Heroine) So one of my ally's is wasted and is flying? Well, not really FLYING! Ally BRITNEY is... Well, NARRATOR doesn't WANT to TALK about it! sniff Sorry... NSUC-erm, NSYNC appeared! NSYNC said HELLO to NARRATOR! That's right, you know them don't you? NARRATOR nodded! Wasn't NSYNC caught using explicit language in Battle #53? NSYNC doesn't read BATTLES! So NSYNC doesn't CARE! Why don't you read the White Version battles? I mean, you're IN them, man! NSYNC aren't PUPPETS! NO STRINGS ATTACHED! Buy it today on CD! You know what? Why do you call yourself NSYNC? You're not quite..."in sync." NSYNC is NSULTED! Really. REALLY! NSYNC wants to fight! Go ahead. Go, Cello Bow. KELLY needs to use more CREATIVE POKEMON! For God's sake, they're not even really POKEMON! NARRATOR knows! NARRATOR laughs! I don't even LIKE Pokemon. NSYNC used GASP! NSYNC is NSHOCK! Yeah, ok. The first time it was funny, now it's just not. NARRATOR thinks it is! Cello Bow, use Rosin Up! CELLO BOW used ROSIN UP! ROSIN went UP! ROSIN went up CHRIS' NOSE! CHRIS: At least those flys up there will have some food. Don't they feast on your boogers? CHRIS: Nah, that's my food. KELLY used BLINK! KELLY is BLINKING! NSYNC fainted! My that was quick. WHITEWEBMISTRESS needs to get up NEW BATTLE! WHITEWEBMISTRESS shoved KELLY aside! Can you at least say I won? Fine. KELLY won against NSYNC! Now move! Move! KELLY was shoved into OBLIVION! Oops. Ahhhhhh- KELLY was cut off! WHITEWEBMISTRESS looked into BLACKHOLE! She's gonna be feeling that one in the morning. ........................... Or not. KELLY STILL mysteriously WON however!!

Battle #54 June 15th, 2000 Speak Up, Son Player: Mary (A win, versus I don't remember) singing I ain't got nobody...that I can depend on. Just me, myself and I. NARRATOR points out that's STILL depending on SOMEONE! Shaddap. FLASHFIRE is online! Alrighty. Let's annoy him some. DACTA MPR yahooed FLASHFIRE! Yahooed?! Well, there's IM and YAHOO! Ah. I got it. FLASHFIRE isn't SPEAKING! Has he become mute? NO! Then why isn't he speaking? BECAUSE! You're very aggrivating, Narrator. NARRATOR knows! It's NARRATOR's LIFE! Get a better life. NARRATOR went to LIFE SHOPPE! NARRATOR got new LIFE! NARRATOR is now a new ADDITION to NYSNC! Oh boy. Dat's right! Hey, who are you? I'm Jason Ross. I'm the substitute for the Narrator. Why aren't you doing caps? Because I don't feel like it. Argh. Flashfire continues not to talk Can't you at least put the excalmation point at the end? No You're worse than the old Narrator! Jason Ross used Evil Laugh It's super evil Dacta mpr continues to try and get Flashfire to talk Geez, he's like some bad fugitive from NYPD Blue... Nypd Blue is a bad show for kids You don't even capitalize the NYPD?! Nope But you're suppose to! Tough Flashfire isn't gonna talk he tellz ya How can he "tellz me" he isn't going to talk when if he's not talking?! Jason Ross doesn't know This is a very aggrivating battle. Police appeared Police carted fugitive Flashfire away Fine! I'll talk. I was just illegally changing the super secret IRC network for an annoymous agent! Police stared at Flashfire Oops! I shouldn't've said it was an annoymous agent! Oops! I really shouldn't've said it was a super secret IRC network! And whoa! I CERTAINLY shouldn't've said it's an illegal network! Ugh. It's too hot today. Jason Ross points out that's from the Simpsons Already copyrighted Screw the copyrights! Copyrights were screwed That's nasty. And I still want the old Narrator back. Nsync appeared Narrator is with Nysync Narrator: I'M having the TIME of my LIFE! sniff I miss those caps... I miss that perky annoyingness. WAHHH! I WANT THE OLD NARRATOR BACK! Narrator: FINE! I'm COMING back ANYWAY! Narrator kicked out Jason Ross Ahhhhhh! HELP me! Yeah, NOW you do caps. OLDNARRATOR is back! DACTA MPR hugged OLDNARRATOR! OLDNARRATOR blushed! THE END was scrawled across SCENE! THE END was placed in SAPPYDISNEYMOVIE! BATTLE ended! Thank God...

	Battle #56 July 22nd, 2000 Arse Pains Player: Mary (Geez, I forgot her whole record. shrugs Oh well.) My butt hurts. Why? I want a new butt... Stop AVOIDING NARRATOR's QUESTIONS! Fine. I just trotted on the bumpiest horse on Earth. WEBMASTERS are IGNORANT of HORSE TERMS! sigh Will you leave my version alone? WEBMASTERS: NO! We will not let you go! QUEEN: Let him go! No Queen. I need relaxation. QUEEN is very RELAXING! No. It's depressing. He just KILLED a man in that song. SO? EVERYONE makes MISTAKES! Just be quiet. DACTA MPR is being a BUTTHOLE! ARGH QUIET! DACTA MPR is already PMSing! And it's NOT even THAT time of MONTH! Yeah, just announce it to the whole world. DACTA MPR is watching a bad DIASTER thing on ABC! ABC has too much DIASTER movies these DAYS! Yeah, it's getting annoying. Now they're talking about an apocalypse. And everyone knows the only apocalypse happening is the Pencil Apocalypse. DACTA MPR wishes! Maybe if DACTA MPR stopped SITTING on her ARSE, the PENCILAPOCALYPSE would GET somewhere! Well, the fact I'm on a constant search for Jess sure doesn't help. JESS MPR is right THERE! Oh. That's nice. DACTA MPR sipped LEMONADE! ACK! Crystal Light! You can TELL the DIFFERANCE?! Of course I can! Crystal Light is coloured water! DACTA MPR is FORCED to DRINK CRYSTAL LIGHT! Then I won't drink. DAYS past! DACTA MPR must DRINK! Or DACTA MPR will DIE! Need...more...water... SUPERSOAKERCOMMERICALKIDS appeared! SSCK: More water! SSCK squirted DACTA MPR with WATER! Spray it in my mouth... SSCK sprayed everywhere BUT DACTA MPR's MOUTH! SSCK disappeared! Just a mirage? PROBABLY! DACTA MPR is DYING! Uhhh... DACTA MPR sees GOD! God...save...me... GOD: You have insulted my Jewish people too many times! You shall lay here to die! Have mercy! GOD is CONSIDERING! GOD finally GAVE MERCY! DACTA MPR was DEAD by then! ................ GOD: Oh my me! She's dead! ............... DEATH BELLS sounded! GOD won against DACTA MPR! To be continued... Is Dacta MPR really dead? Nah, probably not, or else this wouldn't be a to be continued. Find out, on the next OPRAH-erm, POKEBATTLE!