Poké Battles: Foxfire Version

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Welcome to PokéBattles: Foxfire Version. PokéBattles are a unique form of parodic Pokémon fanfiction from the early days of the Pokémon fandom and in the style of the games' narration, defined by the presence of a player who speaks, and a NARRATOR who describes (and, often, distorts) everything else, one line at a time. For more information, go to pokebattles.com, the official site. This site is an unofficial revival, and I want it to live and grow.

"Foxfire" is a name for ghostly lights at night. Sparks of light and flame from decay of the past. Ghosts, spirits, things that lead travelers astray. A memory of what has been in the past, and new life stemming from death. This website is both a memorial to Poké Battles as they were, and a revivification of the format that I hope will last longer than it did before. Also, Ninetales.

New battles will come on Thursday. Updates on the state of the network come on Saturday. New Amber Archive versions will come on Saturdays as available. Other updates will come as feasible.

You can contact me, Hiber, at pokebattles.foxfire@gmail.com. The site also has a Discord here.


5/21/2022: Network Update: Sandy Version has Battle #20 "Joey Learns A Secret" up. It's got exciting secrets in it! Go read it!
No Amber Archive update this week due to a special being planned next week.

5/19/2022: Foxfire #53: Network News Neurosis is now up on Foxfire Version. One-year anniversary hits Friday next week and I'm planning something special.

5/14/2022: Network Update: Sandy Version has Battle #19 "Library Brawl" up! Go read it!
Surf Version reconstructed and added to Amber Archive. I still advise not clicking any links to external sites on the archived page.

Older News


Latest Battle: Foxfire #53

This whole thing was built on a single pun that I've had hidden away for years and years. I don't even know.

Battle 53: Network News Neurosis 5/19/2022
Setting: Fantasy 50% / Reality 50%
Player: Newscaster Ned [No Record]


In the news today, as I'm sure you're all aware, Team Rocket continues their inexorable campaign of world conquest.
In world news, today, we've received word that the Unova, Alola, and Galar regions, along with the United Kingdom, the state of North Dakota, and the planet Tatooine have all announced unconditional surrenders.
Additionally, we've received word that the Amazon Rainforest has spontaneously evolved into the Amazon Death Desert.
In politics, Stan Legislator and the Foxfire Resistance Party continue to push for additional sanctions against Team Rocket, while Gerry and the Rocket Party have written up documents of surrender and are attempting to push them through.
In local news, Mayor Flind is expected to lose re-election following widespread allegations of the use of mind control by him.
Additionally, a number of groups as seen on the screen behind me have begin reporting that it is the End Times and reacting appropriately. The Church of the Iron Nail, meanwhile, has released a press statement that says, and I quote, "End times? Bring it."
Cut.

STAFF used CUT!
LAWN fainted!
And good thing. Had it gotten much taller we'd have had to start looking out for Voltorb on the way in.
MAYORFLIND appeared!
Good morning Mr. Mayor, what can I do for you?
MAYORFLIND is angry!
MAYORFLIND says POOR PRESS COVERAGE is super effective against CAMPAIGN!
Well I'm not going to lie about it. The reports are credible. What kind of outlet do you think we're running here?
MAYORFLIND is angry!
MAYORFLIND wants to fight!
... Fine, so be it.
Go, Printing Press!

...?!
Yes, we have both a newspaper and a television studio.
Go! PRINTINGPRESS!
Enemy MAYORFLIND sent out DUERGAR!
... Is that even a Pokémon? It looks like a dwarf.
Enemy DUERGAR used EXPANSION!
Enemy DUERGAR wrote an EXPANSION to popular TTRPG!
Huh...
Printing press, use Print.

PRINTINGPRESS used PRINT!
EXPANSION went to PRINT!
DUERGAR is happy!
DUERGAR joined you!
The printing press is mightier than the sword.
Enemy MAYORFLIND is angry!
Enemy MAYORFLIND sent out MAYORFLIND!
Mayor Flind, you obviously don't have any more Pokémon, why not just give it a rest...
What? O is evolving!
O evolved into E!
AYER fell back!
IND advanced!
Enemy MAYORFLIND was renamed MINDFLAYER!
...well that explains the allegations of mind control.
Enemy MINDFLAYER used MIND BLAST!
Ally DUERGAR was BLASTED with MIND!
PRINTINGPRESS was BLASTED with MIND!
It's not very effective...
I would imagine, brains are pretty soft as projectiles go...
Press, use Hot Off The Presses.

PRESS used HOT OFF THE PRESSES!
Enemy MINDFLAYER was burned!
Be careful handling freshly printed copies...
Enemy MINDFLAYER used STOP!
PRESSES were fully STOPPED!
PRINTINGPRESS fainted!
... Rrh.
Bring out which POKéMON?
Go, camera.
The enemy eats brains! Get'm CAMERA!
Enemy MINDFLAYER used MINDBLAST!
It's not very effective...
Ally DUERGAR is paralyzed! It may not attack!
It doesn't affect CAMERA!
The camera never lies, but it also adds ten pounds. It doesn't have a brain...
Camera, use Shoot!

CAMERA used SHOOT!
CAMERA shot enemy MINDFLAYER!
Hit 6 times!
One for one, nice.
Enemy MINDFLAYER used PLANE SHIFT!
CAMERA's PROJECTION PLANE was fully SHIFTED!
It's super effective!
Well how are we supposed to take good pictures like this, huh? It looks all skewed now...
Not that it matters for fighting I guess...
Camera, use Snap.

CAMERA used SNAP!
CAMERA snapped enemy MINDFLAYER like TWIG!
Enemy MINDFLAYER fainted!
... Whew.
Well... Won't this make for a story. Too bad my good camera's broken.
Fortunately I have spares. And, y'know, the TV camera crew. You got all that, right?

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Pokémon and all related properties are owned by Nintendo; other properties used in this work are copyright to their respective owners. I own none of those properties. This site is a work of parody and historical documentation. Poké Battles is owned by Jason Ross.
I own only those characters and concepts original to this work.
Typical fanfiction disclaimer.