Fan Battles 11 to 15:
Battle #11: What's in a Name? April 05, 2000
Setting: Game
Player: Trainer [No Record]
Author: Kevin B.

TRAINER is walking along!
What? Who are you?
TRAINER is confused!
TRAINER hurt itself in it's confusion!
Ouchies! I'm not an it! And I have a name, you know!
NARRATOR wants to know what TRAINER's name is!
Errr… Trainer, actually.
NARRATOR is LAUGHING!
Hey, my parents had odd ideas about what to name a child!
NARRATOR is LAUGHING harder!
At least I don't have my brother's name! My parents named him Lass!
NARRATOR is LAUGHING even harder!
NARRATOR hurt itself!
Listen, can we just get on with the battle?
NARRATOR would respond, but it is LAUGHING too hard!
Sigh…
TIME passes!
Hey, you get back here!
TRAINER sent out PIDGEY!
It's too late!
TIME vanishes over the horizon!
Great. Now can we get on with the battle?
NARRATOR is not LAUGHING as hard now!
NARRATOR agrees!
Wild DITTO appears!
Finally. Pidgey, as long as you're out, use sand attack.
PIDGEY used SAND-ATTACK!
Wild DITTO's ACCURACY fell!
Wild DITTO couldn't see to attack!
Cool! Now, use it again!
PIDGEY used SAND-ATTACK!
Wild DITTO'S ACCURACY fell even more!
Wild DITTO still can't see to attack!
This is going great! Now, use peck!
PIDGEY used PECK!
PIDGEY PECKED wild DITTO in the eye!
Wild DITTO's ACCURACY greatly fell!
The dust cleared!
Wild DITTO can see again!
Wild DITTO used TRANSFORM!
Wild DITTO's attack missed!
What?!?! How can transform miss!?!?
TRANSFORM kept going!
TRANSFORM crashed into TREE!
Uh oh. I've heard about those trees. Now, it's probably going to get angry and beat me up.
TRAINER got ready to RUN!
TREE transformed into AIR!
Huh?
TRAINER blinked!
TRAINER is surprised!
And CONFUSED!
It hurt itself in it's confusion!
Stop doing that!
DITTO is turning towards TRAINER with an evil grin on it's face!
Oh crap…
Pidgey! Use-
Wild DITTO used TRANSFORM!
Wild DITTO's attack missed!
TRANSFORM hit PIDGEY!
PIDGEY transformed into CHEESE!
Ok… That was odd….
Well, cheese, try a tackle.
Are you crazy? CHEESE can't attack!
Ulp. Well, Cheese, return. Go-
Wild DITTO used TRANSFORM!
POKEBALL transformed into GRAVEL!
No! I had my level 100 Blastoise in there!
Wild DITTO blinks!
Wild DITTO wants to know why you used a low-level PIDGEY instead!
Well, I never said the Blastoise obeyed me…
Wild DITTO grins!
Please don't use transform again!
TRAINER is pleading!
TRAINER's DIGINITY fell!
Please! I'll be your servant!
TRAINER is groveling!
TRAINER's DIGINITY fell even more!
I'll give you money!
TRAINER is attempting to BRIBE DITTO!
Wild DITTO doesn't like being thought bribable!
Wild DITTO is angry!
Wild DITTO used TRANSFORM!
TRAINER transformed into MAGIKARP!
KARP! Magi magi karp!!! MAGIKARP!
Wild DITTO LAUGHS!
Wild DITTO used TRANSFORM!
TREE transformed into MASTERBALL!
Wild DITTO used MASTERBALL!
Wild DITTO caught MAGIKARP!
No!
Wild DITTO is looking around!
Wild DITTO sees NARRATOR!
NARRATOR is FRIGHTENED!
Wild DITTO uses TRANSFORM!
TRANSFORM hit NARRATOR!
NARRATOR transformed into METAPOD!
META pod pod METAPOD!
pod META pod meta!
SUBSTITUTE NARRATOR appears!
SUBSTITUTE NARRATOR hides!
Wild DITTO doesn't notice it's appearance!
Wild DITTO uses MEGLOMANIA!
Wild DITTO is planning to conquer the pokebattles universe with it's transform powers!
Wild DITTO leaves!
Phew. It's gone.
With MAGIKARP!
NO!!
SUBSTITUTE NARRATOR declares this battle over

Battle #12: Koopa Krazy April 07, 2000
Setting: Reality / Pseudo Aqua Version
Player: The Popcorn Man [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Eric/Aqua Webmaster
Author: The Popcorn Man

Man, I never thought I'd return to this dump!
DARTHLUKE wishes you didn't say that!
Why not?
POPCORN MAN burst into FLAMES!
AIEEE!!!
AQUA WEBMASTER laughs evilly!
I thought this was a fan battle.....
POPCORN MAN used STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!
FIRE was PUT OUT!
Oww....
DARTHLUKE smirks!
Well, anyway, I heard that this battle isn't going to borrow players from other sites!
DARTHLUKE seriously doubts that!
Yeah, yeah....
BOWSER appeared!
What the...

Player: Bowser

Bwa ha ha ha ha! So we meet again, Popcorn Man!
KOOPA KIDS appeared!
All right, time for our motto!
MORTON: Motto?
LEMMY: Since when do we have a motto?
ROY: Since about three lines ago.
LEMMY: Oh.
Here it goes!
IGGY: To bathe the world in molten lava!
MORTON: To deprive the world of the Mario Saga!
LEMMY: To freeze the population in ice!
LUGWIG: To give the survivors a plague of lice!
IGGY! MORTON! LEMMY! LUGWIG! ROY! WENDY BO! LARRY! BOWSER!
ROY: Team Koopa, Armageddon's coming, so prepare for fright!
WENDY BO: You're gonna die, so don't bother to fight!
LARRY: That's right!
BWA HA HA HA HA! Great job, kids!
PHONE rang!
POPCORN MAN: I'll get it!....It's for you, Bowser.
"Really, okay....Hello?
JESSIE: Hello. This is Team Rocket speaking.
JAMES: We're calling to inform you that once we get enough money to hire a lawyer...
MEOWTH: That we're gonna sue ya for steal'en our motto.
D'OOOHH! All right. Goodbye.
BOWSER hung up!
Now that that's over with, PREPARE TO DIE!!!

Player: The Popcorn Man

BOWSER: Now that that's over with, PREPARE TO DIE!!!
Y'know, you just said that...
BOWSER: ARRGH! You think I care? I'm here to battle the Mario Bros!
....so you came to me 'cuz I caught them?
BOWSER: Yep.
All right... HERE WE GO!!!
BOWSER wants to fight!
BOWSER sent out IGGY!
GET'M! MARIO!
Mario! Stomp attack!
MARIO used STOMP!
MARIO stomped IGGY'S spiked shell!
AGGH! You num-num, Mario!
MARIO: Mama Meia....
IGGY used FIRE SPIN!
IGGY'S attack missed!
Whew...
FIRE SPIN kept going and crashed!
....INTO THE EVIL RAPID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM!
Oh yeah, I forgot it allied with me last battle.
DARTHLUKE: I knew there would be at least ONE borrowed character...
"C'mon! It's our ally! And your girlfriend although I don't see how you can fall in love with someone so ugly.... it's different!
What? DOOMPUFF is evolving!
DOOMPUFF evolved into BIGGLYMUFF!
Woah! No one ever seen that in a long time, eh?
BIGGLYMUFF used KOOPA EATER!
...Come again?"
IGGY was EATEN!
IGGY fainted!
BIGGMUFF took a NAP to help digest IGGY!
...okay...that was scary.
BOWSER sent out MORTON KOOPA JR!
Mario, Fire Fury!
MARIO used FIRE FURY!
Hit the enemy aporximly 43 times!
MORTON used MEGASTOMPTHATPRODUCESDEADLYSHOCKWAVESTHATCANBURNYOURSPINALCORDTOASHES!
....doesn't sound pleasant
MARIO...somehow....SURIVIED!
Woah....how the heck did he live through that?
MARIO: 1-UP Mushrooms....
MARIO used MARIO TORNADO!
Critical hit!
It's Super Smash Bros - like!
...umm....
MORTON KOOPA was knocked off screen!
MARIO used FIGHTER'S STANCE!
....right.
MORTON KOOPA fainted!
MORTON fell back to EARTH!
MORTON'S fat body crushed LEMMY, LUDWIG, and LARRY!
Oh, goodie.
BOWSER is enraged!
BOWSER sent out ROY!
This outta be easy....
ROY used ARMAGEDDON PUNCH!
It's super death-inducing!
MARIO fainted!
LARRY died!
....so did hundreds of innocent FANS!
I wonder if Fanboy died, too....
FANBOY is by no means innocent!
Got a point there. All right, go, LUIGI!
BOWSER sent out WENDY!
....who instantly fainted at the sight of ROY!
ROY fainted at the sight of BIGGLYMUFF!
BOWSER sent out BOWSER!
Go! LUIGI!
Luigi! Monkey Wrench attack!
LUIGI used MONKEY WRENCH!
LUIGI began to MONKEY AROUND with a WRENCH and the NEW YORK SEWER SYSTEM!
...very odd...considering this is Celadon City....
BOWSER used SPINY SHELL!
BOWSER'S attack missed!
SPINY SHELL kept going and crashed!
.....into BIGGLYMUFF!
What? BIGGLYMUFF is De-evolving!
BIGGLYMUFF de-evolved into DOOMPUFF!
Uh-oh....
DOOMPUFF is ENRAGED!
DOOMPUFF used RABID BITE!
BOWSER became RABID!
EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM and MONSTROUS RABID BOWSER KOOPA OF DEATH instantly fell in love!
Ugh...
DARTHLUKE: But what about me?
DOOMPUFF dumped DARTHLUKE!
DARTHLUKE: WAHHH!!!
DOOMPUFF and MONSTERBOWSER ran off in glee!
That...was...disturbing....
DARTHLUKE: NO!!! My love...come back! WAHHHH!!!
DARTHLUKE used CRY!
TEARS begin to flood the city!
TEAR POOL used TIDAL WAVE!
Aiiee! Watch out!
TEAR POOL'S attack missed!
TIDAL WAVE kept going and crashed!
....THE COMPUTER!
Millions of fans reading this battle were kicked off the Internet!
Man, that was a lame ending, wasn't it?
DARTHLUKE: I'll say.

Battle #13: A Doompuff story April 07, 2000
Setting: Pseudo Aqua Version / Game
Player: Eric, Mental Hospital Escapee [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Jessie and James (Battle #)
Author: "slross"

Mike: Well, today's been good. We havn't been hunted down by pscho gym leaders or chased by a guy who used to have Godzilla as a pokemon. Yup, what could go wrong?
Doompuff appeared!
You had to ask Mike...
Doompuff pulled out a huge grenade launcher!
Haunter wants to know why Doompuff is using a grenade launcher since it doesn't need one!
Doompuff says it looks cooler!
Mike: Oh man...
Doompuff pulled the trigger!
Sabrina appeared!
Sabrina teleported Eric and allies out of the way!
Mike: Howcome???
Sabrina: YOU"RE MINE TO KILL! NOT HIS! HE'S BEEN HOGGING THE SPOTLIGHT! NOT ANYMORE!!!
Mike:OK then...
Doompuff is thinking!
Sabrina: hmmmmmm...
Doompuff: YAAAAAARRGGHH!
Doompuff used LICK!
It's not very effective...
Doompuff says CURSES! Ghost is supposed to be strong against Pschic!
Sabrina: Keep it coming you mutant!
Sabrina used Super duper pschic beam!
Doompuff: YAAARGGGGHHH!
Because of the beam, Eric can see in Doompuff's head!
Wha?
Flashback narrator taking over now!
Wha???

Age2:
Jiggly Jiggly Jigglypuff!
Suddenly, Jigglypuff sees a sign!
He can't read!
It says: Danger! Gamma rays currently protruding!
Jigglypuff is heading in!
Puuuuuufffff!!!
A blinding FLASH!
Oh MAN!!!
Jigglypuff mutated!

Eric, MHE is back to normal!
Sabrina: So... you really ARE a mutant...
She... saw to?
Mike: Whoa...
Haunter says HOLY COW!
Gyrados is speechless!
Sabrina used blow away!
Doompuff: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa!
It hit a tree!
The tree threw him away!
Doompuff says it hates trees!
Sabrina: Now for the brats.
The "brats" ran away ten minutes ago!
Sabrina: Blast...

Battle #14: Clone Catastrophe  April 28, 2000
Setting:  Reality
Writer:  slross@uniserve.com
Player: Eric Clone [No Record] 

Grunt... Wha??? What... happened?..
Eric, MHE clone woke up!
A clone? No, I'm real!
Scientist: No, you just have his memory!
No WAY! But why?
Scientist: You are smarter than him. We decided to get this site a smarter main character!
And Mike?
Scientist: We're working on him also.
Do you have the webmasters permission?
Scientist: No. We will switch you with the real one, and destroy him.
NO! I can't let you do that to me... er... him.
Eric is in denial!
GO Arbok!
Go, Arbok!
Mike clone woke up!
Mike! You're not real!
Eric clone informed Mike clone of goings on!
That was quick...
Mike clone: They can't do that! Go, Jigglypuff!
The enemy's smart! Get'm Jigglypuff!
Scientist sent out super clone army!
Scientist: Time to install a new memory.
Scientist sent out memory refreshing machine!
Chu be continued...

Battle #15: Smash Bros. Smash Down  April 28, 2000
Setting:  Reality
Writer:  SuperDuperYosi@aol.com
Player: The Popcorn Man [Record: 2-0-0] Win vs. Bowser 

MARIO used FIREBALL!
Enemy FOX used REFLECTOR to bounce FIREBALL back at MARIO!
It's not very effective...
MARIO used PLUMBERS PUNCH!
Enemy FOX flew off the screen!
MARIO wins!
POPCORN MAN turned off N64 DECK!
Yippie! I win again!
DARTHLUKE demands a REMATCH!
C'mon, Darthy, you know you'll never beat me...
DARTHLUKE does not like being called DARTHY!
DARTHY...err....DARTHLUKE wants to fight!
Ha ha....I'll beat you like I did in Smash Bros!
DARTHLUKE sent out DEATH STAR!
Go! GODZILLA!
Attack! Tokyo now!
GODZILLA used ATTACK TOKYO NOW!
GODZILLA attacked TOKYO NOW!
It didn't effect enemy DEATH STAR!
Crap...should've worded that differently....
Enemy DEATH STAR used SELF DESTRUCT!!!
AHHH!!!
EVERYONE PRESENT was SCORCHED, badly!
GODZILLA fainted!
DEATH STAR fainted!
Crud. Hmmm....what next....
DARTHLUKE sent out DARTHLUKE!
Fine then! I guess I'll have to fight you myself!
Get'm! POPCORN MAN!
Enemy DARTHLUKE used BLASTER!
Critical hit!
Ow...you're gonna regret that!
POPCORN MAN used BUTTERFINGER BB GUN!
It did nothing whatsoever.....besides annoying enemy DARTHLUKE!
This sucks!
Enemy DARTHLUKE used SLASH!
POPCORN MAN's throat was SLASHED open!
OWWWWW!!!!!!!
POPCORN MAN is about to DIE!
I REALLY don't need you to tell me that.....
POPCORN MAN died!
POPCORN MAN, insert coins to continue!
What? I'm in an arcade game?
IRONICALLY, YES!
POPCORN MAN inserted coins!
POPCORN MAN was brought back to LIFE!
Enemy DARTHLUKE is amazed!
Enemy DARTHLUKE wants to know how you survived that, and how your wounds
are suddenly healed!
Long story...but for now...
POPCORN MAN used HAMMER!
POPCORN MAN smashed enemy DARTHLUKE's head with a HAMMER!
Enemy DARTHLUKE fainted!
POPCORN MAN wins!
Yippie! I win again!
SMASH BROS. GAME begins to WIGGLE!
FOX pops out!
Woah, it's Fox Mccloud!
FOX is angry that you defeated him!
Oh no, not again....
FOX wants to fight!
Enemy FOX used FIRE FOX!
It's super effective!
POPCORN MAN fainted!
FOX wins!