Mike:  Hello all, and welcome to AQUA WAR EVENT NUMBER TWO!  …hey…what's wrong?
Eric:  Our special effects sound system is in for repairs…
Mike:  Damn.
Eric:  Shame, isn't it?  Come on, we have a part in this one!  Everything possible is being mustered for this battle!  If we don't succeed here today, Doompuff will destroy all of Aqua Version! Mike:  Which means we'll be sent to that fraggin' Black Version that had the gal to pass us up!  I never thought I'd say this, but let's take that ugly ball of slobber!
Mike:  We'll get killed!!  Nothing defeats Doompuff!!!
Eric:  There's bound to be a casualty list longer than my arm, nasty pointless death you'd expect in an action movie more so than a Network site… but… the Webmaster will do worse to use than kill us if we don't try!
Mike:  All right, let's go…
Mike:  Just in case, we leave our fans this autographed photo of us. 
Eric:  Even if Haunter nearly ruined the shot.  This was taken before Gyarados deserted us though.
Eric and Mike leave the room off to meet fate.

Ranma:  I suppose someone has to commentate on this chaos.  I'll go ahead and do that!

NARRATOR can handle it!

Ranma:  You sure?

NARRATOR says your place is down there stopping DOOMPUFF!

Ranma:  And if I don't?

NARRATOR will lie and tell AKANE you've been sneaking off with SHAMPOO!

Ranma:  As if she doesn't hate me enough!  No need to do that, I'll fight Doompuff.  Been looking for a challenge anyway.

Akane smashes through the door red with rage.

Akane:  RAAAANNNMMAAAA!!!!!

Ranma:  What?!

Oh my, NARRATOR already told that fib!
AQUA WAR EVENT #2 begins!

As Ranma is painfully sent from the commentator's box to the arena which is sure to be a wasteland soon, the screen pans over a few hundred yards to the most dangerous being in the known universe.

DOOMPUFF sent out DEATH and SATAN!
DOOMPUFF uses coach!

The Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom walks back and forth like a General instructing his troops for battle.  Most of what Doompuff "says" are unintelligible snarls and growls with the occasional word.  None of the occasional words are very nice, generally being things like "no mercy," "kill," and "destroy."

Meanwhile a fairly large army is assembled underneath the commentator's booth.  Eric, Mike, Haunter, Fanboy, Brendan, various Gym Leaders, MMGHAM and Bam-Boom, are recognizable figures.

Any ideas why we're all here?
CROWD says NO!
Hmm…
SABRINA and GYARADOS appeared!
SABRINA says she's drawn you here for a final battle against the DOOMPUFF!
Really?  What's the motivation behind this?
SABRINA says that the DOOMPUFF must be stopped before AQUA VERSION makes BLACK VERSION look downright lively!  …also, she'd kind of like revenge!
What makes you think even all of us can stop that thing?
SABRINA says it had better be enough!
If you refuse to take a stand against DOOMPUFF then it'll track you down and kill you anyway!
Well, as Aqua's main character, I've decided I agree with you.  I doubt it's killable, but we have to try!
Ally MIKE wants to know what happens if we fail!
Well…um…then, the Webmaster is going to have a hard time continuing the series!
MIKE:  Hmm, interesting point.

Now, back at the Doompuff, who is already engaged in battle.

Enemy SAILOR SCOUTS used ULTIMATE ATTACKS!
DOOMPUFF:  Puff?  WAHAHAHAHA!
DOOMPUFF laughs off attacks!
DOOMPUFF used JIGGLYDEATH!

Doompuff continues walking along, oblivious to the severed legs, arms, charred outfits and clanging tiaras raining around it.  It snickered to itself hoping others would provide more trouble.  Death and Satan followed behind timidly, not really wanting to aid the Doompuff (Not that it needs help…), but also not wanting to anger it.  Suddenly more heroes stood in the way of the Aqua Destroyer.

…CARE BEARS and POWER RANGERS appeared?

Urg!  I can see why that took you off guard.  The Care Bears are charging up their "Care-Stare," heh, I'd like to see that work against Doompuff!  Wait, I was wrong, they're aiming at…Satan?

CARE BEARS used CARE STARE!
SATAN is disgusted by feelings of KINDNESS and LOVE!
SATAN is vomiting!
SATAN died!
DOOMPUFF is cursing that it should have healed SATAN after that last battle!

Aqua Satan hadn't been healed since Doompuff beat it up after the battle "Evil Hierarchy" so it was in critical condition and fainted after the first blow, dying from the blow of hitting the ground.  Doompuff was annoyed, now only it and Death were left.  Oh well, that meant more killing for it.

DOOMPUFF used DEVOUR!
HALF the CARE BEARS were eaten!
CARE BEARS ran away screaming!
DOOMPUFF used JIGGLY DEATH!

The evil Jigglypuff laughs nastily as the Care Bears suffer the same fate as the Sailor Scouts, raining down in assorted body parts.  The scene is enough to send quite a few people running off crying, and others laughing in sick delight at the Care Bear's destruction.  The "Mighty" Morphing Power Rangers spring into action (ALL of them) and summon their Zords (all 150+), but Doompuff tears through them fairly quickly, suffering only minor injuries if any.

POWER RANGERS sent out EVERYTHING THEY HAD!
POWER RANGERS instantly died a horrible death!

I just said that.

Not as well as I did!

The Doompuff continued walking along, nearing the assembled Aqua Cast who were sending out a small force to hit Doompuff and run back to the group.

RAMPAGE appeared!
MMGHAM appeared!
GODZILLA appeared!
RAMPAGE used MISSILE LAUNCHER!
GODZILLA used NUCLEAR BREATH!
MMGHAM fired BAM-BOOM!
It's not very effective…

While the attacks didn't do much to hurt the Doompuff they did kick up a lot of smoke, giving the attackers a little time to run away.

SMOKE clears!
DOOMPUFF chases after them!

ERIC, MIKE, and HAUNTER appeared!
Ok Doompuff, we end your evil onslaught now!  You've killed off nearly 90 percent of this world's population, are you quite happy?
DA EVOLUTION MAN and BOB "THAT GUY" SMITH appeared!
Wha?  Red-Version Characters?  We're saved!

Evoluman's Alakazam, Bob's tree, Mike's Magikarp, Eric's Royal Kingler and Haunter all fired off their most powerful attacks.  That done, they started to retreat.

SAILOR SCOUTS appeared!
What?!  You died!
SAILOR SCOUTS used COME BACK TO LIFE!
Urg…go figure.
Enemy DOOMPUFF is running at you!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
SAILOR MOON is getting ready to use MOON SCEPTER!
EVOLUMAN panics!
EVOLUMAN grabs SAILOR MOON'S CRYSTAL off her SCEPTER and throws it at enemy DOOMPUFF!

The tiny crystal bonked Doompuff in the head, not hurting it…but, as it turns out…the Silver Imperium Crystal is similar to a moon stone…

What?!  DOOMPUFF is evolving!
EVERYONE screams!
EVOLUMAN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!
SAILOR MOON is strangling EVOLUMAN!
DOOMPUFF evolved to…SAILOR DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF:  DOOM?!?!  BAAAHHH!!!!!

The Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom proceeded to do something utterly terrifying as it looked down at its Sailor Fuku…it screamed in terror.

DOOMPUFF:  DOOM!!! OFF!!  DOOM!! DOOM!!!  OFF!! OFF!!!!

The Doompuff hopped around, tearing at its Sailor outfit screaming.  It desperately yanked and pulled as it tried to remove the ugly fuku.  Until, someone had the decency to spray it with De-evolution spray.

What?  SAILOR DOOMPUFF is devolving!
DOOMPUFF:  YES!!!
SAILOR DOOMPUFF devolved to DOOMPUFF!
Quick!  Use it again!  Devolve Doompuff!
JOE used DEVOLUTION SPRAY!
No effect!
DOOMPUFF laughs!
That's a disturbing sound…
DOOMPUFF can't be devolved!
DOOMPUFF ate JOE!
EEP!!  Um, try something else!  Use that rabies cure!
Allies used RABIES CURE!  No effect on enemy DOOMPUFF!
What?  It worked last time!
Enemy DOOMPUFF was just pretending last time! 
DOOMPUFF isn't really rabid so it never worked in the first place!
Oh no…

The Doompuff leapt forward, snatching all the Sailor Scouts and just barely missing Da Evolution Man.  Doompuff disappeared over a nearby hill, but it was quite easy to discern what it was doing-- What it does best.  And…singing?

DOOMPUFF *singing*:  First we start with, da finger bones!
CRUSH!
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!
DOOMPUFF *singing*:  Finger bones' connected to the hand bones!
SNAP! POP! CRACK!
AAAAARRRRRRRAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
DOOMPUFF *still singing*:  Hand bones' connected to the arm bones!
SNAP! CRACK!
WWAAAAHHHAAAHAHHAAAHAAAA!!!!! 

Eric and allies stood horrified as it continued on, Doompuff would go to the shoulder blade, then vertebrae, pelvic bone, legs, the other arm, and finally end with the head following by the sound of something breaking.  After each except the last a horrible cry of pain would fill the air.

Man, that little ball of venom is messed up!
Allies agree!
We have to kill that thing now!  Before any one who doesn't deserve it gets that treatment!
Allies agree! …if it were possible to stop DOOMPUFF that is!
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
ACK!!!  As if it wasn't bad enough, now we've got two of them!
RED DOOMPUFF looks confused!
RED DOOMPUFF washed off BLOOD!
RED DOOMPUFF is really AQUA DOOMPUFF colored RED!
EEEWWWW!!!
PJ appeared!
PJ screams something unintelligible about SAILOR MERCURY!
IDIOT!  You'll get yourself…  YEAH!  GO PJ!  SHOW THAT EVIL PUFF WHO'S BOSS!
MIKE *Laughing*:  Oh, it already knows who's boss…

PJ rushes the Doompuff only to be instantly swallowed.  Doompuff makes a sick face before coughing PJ up and hacking a little.  Spitting a few times it turns to PJ, grabs him by the collar, shakes him violently and screams in his face.
"BATHE!!!!"
The Aqua Version cast present watched in stunned silence as PJ ran away and wasn't blown away by Doompuff's Jiggly Death attack -- apparently  he wasn't be worth it.  Meanwhile everyone else began to make plans for the final attack, where everyone would hit the Doompuff with everything they had and pray it was enough.
In the past, in a comic series from another country, the evil, most-bad-assed version of Galvatron ever was sucked into a dimensional-time rift, ending his reign of terror in his series.
Back in Aqua Version, a shiny portal appears in the sky between Doompuff and the Aqua Cast.

UK GALVATRON appeared!
Yipe!  I've heard he's bad news!
Allies say not as bad as DOOMPUFF!
UK GALVATRON:  Where am I?  …what is that?

The Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom jumps at Galvatron only to be blown back by his massive arm cannon.  Doompuff crashes into a building which comes down on it, but hops out of the rubble unscathed.  Oddly enough it looks happy…

DOOMPUFF:  DOOM!!

What it say?

Er…NARRATOR believes DOOMPUFF is happy to have a challenge!
SAILOR SCOUTS used COME BACK TO LIFE!

WHAT?!?!  Uh…seeing the return of his enemies yet again Doompuff gets annoyed and screams in rage.  It rushes the mass of short-skirted girls and soon emerges from remains that would require dental records to identify.

DOOMPUFF:  Puff!

Galvatron and Doompuff begin to fight, Doompuff tackles Galvatron to no effect.  Galvatron responds by grabbing Doompuff and slamming him into the ground.  He pulls his hand back in pain and shock, Doompuff bit him and its acid is eating at his finger.  Galvatron smashes Doompuff between his hands, but the Jigglypuff forces his hands apart and lunges for his face.  Galvatron swats it away and fires his cannon, but the blast is intercepted by an energy attack from Doompuff.  Doompuff spits acid into Galvatron's face and kicks him over the heads of the Aqua Cast.

DOOMPUFF says it's hungry!
EEEPP!!!!
Allies step backwards!

Gyarados moves forward, closing on Doompuff (but not too close) with Sabrina on his head.  Sabrina floats down and gives Doompuff a nasty Death Glare™.
"I could go on about what you've done and that you must be stopped, but rather…"

SABRINA used MEGA PSYCHIC WAVE!
Minimal effect on enemy DOOMPUFF!
SABRINA sent out her six most powerful PSYCHIC POKéMON!
Ok everyone, Pokémon out!
EVERYONE sent out ALL THEIR POKéMON!

The Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom looked at the buffet assembled before it… so many different life forms, so little time.  A little extra drool dribbled down its mouth accompanying the foam around its mouth.
As one hundreds of Pokémon attacked, flamethrowers, psybeams, fire blasts, ice beams, solar beams, any range attack a Pokémon might know.  Several attacks were fizzled out by their opposite elements, but the Doompuff was still hit with enough firepower to make just about anything wince.
About half a second for the smoke to clear a little and others stepped in.  Digiman and Fanboy's creatures blasting away with everything they had, the Nerima Wrecking Crew and a few surviving DBZ characters firing various chi blasts, tanks and jets fired their payloads, MMGHAM fired Bam-Boom at a power level high enough to level mountains, Sailor Scouts fired their…WHAT THE?!?!  Can't those losers stay dead???

DOOMPUFF used HELL'S FLOODGATE!

A massive wave of fire and brimstone and all that good stuff shot out from Doompuff's position and knocked the defending forces back, knocking out a few Pokémon and causing some nasty singeing to almost everybody.

DOOMPUFF is laughing! 
DOOMPUFF says you'll have to do better than that!
Heh, fine then!
Fanboy, Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man, now!

MMGHAM began cranking up the knobs on Bam-Boom and pressing buttons.  The whole weapon started glowing and throbbing with untold power.  Fanboy powered up his satellites in orbit -- which just happen to be the "Chintaka Defense Platforms" seen in the last season of DS9 -- and someone called up Russia's, China's, and the US's governments telling them to nuke Doompuff soon.

FANBOY used STAR TREK TELEPORTER!
EVERYONE was beamed many miles from DOOMPUFF!

And then, the assault began.  Phasers, disrupters, photon and quantum torpedoes rained down from orbit, nuclear missiles flew from around the world and pounded on Doompuff's location.

BAM-BOOM is FULLY POWERED!
MIKE:  Wow…is this…?
Yes, it's the fabled "Anti-Death Star" mode.  There's no other name for it, but seeing how he wasted the Death Star 2 with it once, it's fitting.
MMGHAM fired ANTI-DEATH STAR MODE BAM-BOOM!!!

The explosion was…well…huge. 

KABAM-BOOOOM!!

Uh…yes, thank you.  It would have deafened any living thing less than ten miles from the target zone.  Firepower of unimaginable proportions rained upon Doompuff hoping to annihilate the rabid one.  Suddenly a massive purple beam filled the sky along with the already impressive arsenal and a massive shockwave flew over everyone's heads.  If Doompuff survived that it was time to give up!
Everyone turned to see what contributed the purple blast to find a giant purple cannon floating in the air… Galvatron's weapon mode!  He transformed into robot mode and fired a few more shots in Doompuff's direction for good measure as the deadly rain began to dwindle.

SINGED DOOMPUFF appeared!
SINGED DOOMPUFF says that wasn't very nice!
Unanimous cry of "OH SHIT" is heard!

A bunch of large robots stomp in headed for Doompuff!  Oh no…is that what I think it is?

NEW POWER RANGERS were created!
NEW ZORDS attacked Doompuff!

The fight is short, but nasty, limbs and scrap go flying everywhere as Doompuff tears the brand new Power Ranger forces apart.

ZORDON is creat--
Check that!
DOOMPUFF killed ZORDON and other POWER RANGER BOSSES!

A bunch of Pokémon attack the Doompuff and most are eaten pretty quickly.  The rest run away while the others are being eaten.

HOW THE HELL DOES IT EAT THAT MUCH!?!?!
DIGIMAN doesn't know!
GALVATRON doesn't know!
ROOKIE doesn't know!
MIKE doesn't know!
SABRINA doesn't want to know!
I wish we could hurt this thing!  I mean…you saw the beating it just took!  There's no way to stop it!
DIGIDESTINED appear!
LEGENDARY POKéMON appear!
SABRINA tells them it's about time!
DIGIDESTINED and LEGENDARY POKéMON say "Excuse us!" in sarcastic tones!
DIGIDESTINED and LEGENDARY POKéMON except for MEW and MEWTWO have HEADACHES now!
DOOMPUFF coughs loudly to get your attention!
DOOMPUFF wants to destroy, maim, mangle, kill, and do other not-nice things to you!

Eric and Mike get scared and cower behind the nearest scary thing available, which happens to by Gyarados.  Gyarados scowls at them but turns its attention to Doompuff for another combined attack.
Unfortunately during this time, Doompuff already ate another couple of Pokémon, a few extras, and Rookie.
Mew, Mewtwo, and Sabrina all lash out with the nastiest psychic attacks they can summon.  Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Houhou and Lugia also follow example and fire with the biggest attacks they have.  Gyarados, former ally to Eric and Mike, teams up with Blaine's Ultrados and a few other big bad Pokés to blast Doompuff too.  While Doompuff is being hit with these attacks the Digidestined start their thing, as…

AGUMON warp-digivolved to WARGREYMON!
GABUMON warp-digivolved to METAL GARURUMON!
PALMON digivolved to TOGEMON digivolved to LILLYMON!
GOMAMON digivolved to IKKAGUMON digivolved to ZUDAMON!
BIYOMON digivolved to BIRDRAMON digivolved to GARUDAMON!
TENTAMON digivolved to KABUTERIMON digivolved to MEGA KABUTERIMON!
GATOMON digivolved to ANGEWOMON!
PADAMON digivolved to ANGEMON!

That is annoying you know!

NARRATOR knows!
NARRATOR enjoys being annoying in case YOU haven't noticed!

Anyway, the various Digimon team up their attacks too and hit Doompuff along with everyone else.  Everything from a maximized Charizard's flamethrower to Angemon's "Hand of Fate" hit the snarling ball of puff.

DOOMPUFF:  JIGGLY DOOM!!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

As expected, the impossible to defeat, invincible Doompuff doesn't seem too hurt.  The cast falls into despair, the Doompuff apparently being unstoppable. 

FANBOY says he'll take care of this!
FANBOY sent out DEVASTATOR!

The massive Transformer gestalt stomps forward to battle Doompuff, but on the way there's a "SQUISH" heard.  Devastator picks up its foot and scrapes it on the ground, among the mess a few tiaras can be seen.  Looks like that come back to life move works no matter how little is left.  This momentary distraction is all the Doompuff needs, it flies into Devastator and tears into it, sending parts and sparks flying all over the place.  Doompuff emerges from the wreckage looking about as deadly as ever.  Suddenly though, Doompuff looks sick…

DOOMPUFF says it has a tummy ache from eating too much!
Doompuff, destroyer of us all, the most evil thing in the universe has a "tummy ache"?  Oi…embarrassing.
DOOMPUFF says you'll pay for that!
SAILOR SCOUT hop in the way and blast DOOMPUFF!

Yeesh, I'm sensing a Team Rocket-like persistence here.  One would think they'd at least avoid Doompuff after being killed by it so many times.

SAILOR SATURN focused the whole power of DEATH REBORN REVOLUTION into DOOMPUFF!

Doompuff is blown back and charred by enough destructive energy to destroy the other planet, but once again still lives.

DOOMPUFF shakes off the blow!
DOOMPUFF is impressed!
DOOMPUFF wants that move!

Sailor Saturn jumps back as Doompuff pulls a Pokéball out of nowhere.  UK Galvatron is getting up meanwhile and doesn't look too happy  --not that any Galvatron ever does….

GALVATRON transformed into CANNON MODE!
GALVATRON used OBLITERATION BLAST!
SAILOR SCOUTS were VAP…no…vaporized doesn't cover this!  I mean…there's nothing left!  One would expect at least COMPONENT ATOMS or something!

At this point Doompuff comes to a realization. In its cracked, evil, demented voice, it interrogates Death.
"You Death…evil doom …you…jigglypuff…are one who let come back to life, yes-no?"

DEATH is nervously looking at anything but DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF is angry!
DEATH uses a half-hearted lame-excuse that no one could resist the cute-face treatment when it comes to the SAILORS!
DOOMPUFF is angrier!
DOOMPUFF mauled DEATH!
DOOMPUFF insists that this time the SAILOR SCOUTS are permanently dead!
DEATH agrees!
DEATH faints!

Realizing that they've just done what no one else had succeeded in doing, Galvatron and the Doompuff high-five each other.  A spin, and a low-behind-the-back-five.  Then they realize they've been fighting each other and go back at it.

DOOMPUFF used DOOM SMASH!
GALVATRON used OBLITERATION CANNON!
It's not very effective.  Though DOOMPUFF has suffered some minor injury!

The two charge each other and fight a few moments, but soon Doompuff emerges the victor.  The Aqua Version cast backs up as a Jiggly Death attack blows Zapdos out of the sky.

ANGEWOMON used HEAVEN'S CHARGE!

At this point everyone contributed to the power-gathering attack.  Transformers, Pokémon, Digimon, and others all fired with everything they had into the ring.  War Greymon's Terra Force, flamethrower attacks, Bam-Boom…a massive flurry of attacks with enough combined firepower to depopulate most islands all went to charge the coming Celestial Arrow.  Whether or not this would phase Doompuff… would be found out soon.

ANGEWOMON used CELESTIAL ARROW OF MEGA PAINFUL RIGHTEOUSNESS!
DOOMPUFF was blown away!
We…we did it?!
EVERYONE is happy!
EVERYONE is cheering!
EXTRA:  NO!!  Don't you know how these things go?!  No, he's going to be bigger and badder than ever!!  Don't cheer yet!
How can Doompuff get worse?
NARRATOR will tell you!
DOOMPUFF evolved!
DOOMPUFF came back!
DOOMPUFF is now… VENOM DEATHPUFF!
Or… REALLY EVIL VENOMOUS JIGGLYPUFF OF REALLY NASTY DEATH!
Oh no…what the hell does that look like?!
Just like DOOMPUFF!
Really?  How can you tell it evolved?
There is ONE small, but IMPORTANT difference!
What's that?  How can you be sure it didn't just get a makeover?
DOOMPUFF was normal JIGGLYPUFF size!  VENOM DEATHPUFF is 28 FEET tall!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SHIT WE'RE SCREWED!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE is running at speed previously only attained by SUPERSONIC AIRCRAFT, TEAM ROCKET, and OTHER CARTOON CHARACTERS!
VENOM DEATHPUFF laughs!
VENOM DEATHPUFF used…

Will anyone survive the wrath of Venom Deathpuff?  Find out in Aqua War Event #2 Part 2!