After another battle with the recurring character Fanboy, Eric and Mike were walking down the street quite beat up. The two delusional teens both felt this state of affairs was getting old hat.
"We really ought to do something about him."
"Like what Eric? He whomps us just about every time we fight him."
"I think we should hire some help."
"Who? Just who do you know that could take out the things we've been dealing with?"
Eric grinned evilly and answered, "His very name strikes fear into the hearts of criminals, stenographers, and Pokébattle Narrators alike!! He's good at his job, and even better at his name!"
"Huh? Are you talking about who I think you're talking about?"
"None other! Let's go!"
Irrelevant to the story, but perhaps rather funny, we take a look at a small room. In here are Happosai, Brendan, PJ, Kuno, and Raye's grandfather…looking at a particular issue of the National Inquirer.
"Think those are real?"
"You got to be kidding!"
A slight buzz accompanied an arrival via teleportation. The five perverts turn around to see a very pissed Saffron Gym Leader.
"AAAAAHHHH……"
Now, to keep Aqua from attaining an 'R' rating…we'll leave before anything really messy happens.
About an hour later they arrived at the home of the unnamed hero. Eric walked up to the door and knocked. It was soon answered by a towering armor-clad figure, he was about 7ft 10inches and was carrying the largest gun either kid had ever seen not attached to a massive war vehicle.
"Yes, can I help you?"
"Yes you can. Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man, we require your services."
The only hero to have as many syllables in his name as the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom nodded and ushered them in. Eric marched in trying to keep up with the mighty macho while Mike slowly slipped in, rather intimidated by the towering action hero carrying a gun that outweighed either Mike or Eric…or both of them for that matter. Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man sat down on a large chair and set the massive gattling-bazooka down. It immediately started to protest.
"Sorry Bam-Boom…" apologized the Action Man as he set it right side up.
Mike was a bit surprised "The gun really does talk!"
"Of course I can talk! You just heard me, didn't you?"
"Uh…yeah I did…"
Eric interrupted "Can we get down to business now?"
Bam-Boom answered "Ah, yes. Terribly sorry, what is it you wish to discuss?"
"Well, there's this guy…he's kind of evil and continually beats the crap out of us and other people!"
Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man glared, he hated villains, bullies and anyone else who he defined as "bad."
"His name's Fanboy and in addition to beating people up, there are lots of people and things he captures and forces to battle for him!"
Bam-Boom would have nodded if it could, "I've heard of him, and I agree that he should be stopped!"
'Action Man glared at his weapon of mass destruction and said, "How come you never tell me about this?"
Bam-Boom smugly answered "I did, but you said beating up kids was wrong, I tried to explain to you that…AARR!!!"
'Action Man pushed Bam-Boom off the table it sat on and snickered as it complained indignantly.
"So Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man, will you take the job?"
"Sure thing guys."
Bam Boom chimed in, "Don't forget pay! They have money, they can afford it!"
Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man was a nice guy at heart, he didn't like the Hero-for-Hire mentality, but quite frankly the rent was a bit behind and…he really wanted to buy Pokémon Red.
Eric handed him some money and thanked him.
Then he turned around and gave him a little more, "If you get a really annoying cashier who demands ¥, shoot her will you?"
A little bit more and he asked 'Action Man to toast Brendan, "Psycho Supreme" if he got the chance.
As they started to leave, Mike snapped around and ran over to 'Action Man.
He gave Eric a dirty look, "How could you forget?!"
Mike gave 'Action Man a little more money and said, "If you see a freaky psycho chick with glowing eyes called Sabrina, shoot her…and for the love of all that's holy make sure she's dead."
The kids were almost out the door before they remembered something and turned around at the same time, giving the same tip; "If you see a berserk, drooling Jigglypuff, run away…very fast!"
Later that night Eric, Mike, Gyarados, and Haunter sat around playing Pokémon Stadium. They'd paid the 'Action Man a considerable sum of money, but if he could rub out Fanboy and Sabrina, and maybe even the Cashier and Brendan, then it would be more than worth it.
Eric gloated "Ha, prepare for extermination!" as he moved to finish Haunter's Gengar with a psychic attack from his Lapras.
Haunter shrunk back, he didn't know Lapras could learn the Psychic TM and had gotten his entirely-ghost team creamed. Why-oh-why couldn't the video games be accurate about Ghost types being advantaged over Psychics and not the other way around?
Just before Haunter's Gengar fainted the power went out. The lights came back on in a minute, but very weakly, the N64, computer, TV, and everything else remained off. Eric and Mike cursed the luck and tried to get the stuff working again. An, explosion which surely cost the special effects team a lot of money, destroyed the wall and threw the main characters out through the opposite wall.
"Ow…what…happened?"
Mike got up rubbing his head and went wide-eyed "She happened!"
Floating down in front of them was none other than Saffron City's gym leader.
"Uh…Sabrina, I heard on the news that about 3 people who won the Marsh Badge have died recently…if it's really that big a deal, we can give it back…"
Sabrina shrugged and said, "I don't care about the badge" as she raised her hand up and gathered energy.
Eric dashed over, bowed in front of her and grabbed her legs, begging that she not kill him, "PLEASE don't kill me! I'm too young, handsome, and generally great to die!!!!"
Sabrina looked down disgusted and threw him back over by Mike.
Mike came up with a fairly good idea, "Hey! If you're mad about losing, how about we make this an all-out Pokémon battle? No one holds back. You can regain your honor or whatever that way."
Sabrina decided to humor him and agreed, sending out an Alakazam.
"All right Eric, we can beat this witch! Go, Jigglypuff!"
Eric nodded and sent out Venusaur as Gyarados roared and moved out ready for action. Haunter stayed behind them watching on.
"Jigglypuff, leech life!"
"Venusaur, razor leaf!"
"ROOAAAR!!"
Jigglypuff jumped at Alakazam mouth first, but Alakazam teleported away and ran right into Venusaur's razor leaf attack. Mike recalled his Jigglypuff and glared at Eric.
Alakazam reappeared, dodged Gyarados and put out Venusaur with a psybeam attack. The two kids nodded in sync and threw out a Pokéball each. They opened upon hitting the ground, revealing a Sandshrew and Likitung.
"Likitung, lick attack!" shouted Eric.
Mike decided to use his patented trick and commanded his Sandshrew to use Pin Missile. Sandshrew spun around and put its claws forward shooting out a barrage of small pins. Alakazam didn't move but its eyes burned a bright red and the stream of Pin Missiles turned around and nailed the charging Likitung.
"Likitung, slam attack!"
"Sandshrew dig!"
Likitung jumped into the air, but Alakazam took a step backwards and Likitung crashed into the surfacing Sandshrew. Eric recalled Likitung and sent out Arbok.
He turned to Mike and said, "She's good. Cheaper than hell, but impressive."
Mike grumbled, "just don't stare at her again you freak" as he thought of what to have Sandshrew do.
"Arbok, get in there and teach 'em type isn't everything!"
"You're an idiot Eric, Arbok doesn't stand a chance!"
Eric looked at his friend indignantly and said, "I taught it a new TM or two."
Mike rolled his eyes and said, "oh great, that's really going to turn the tide of battle."
Arbok lunged at Alakazam, who teleported out of the way. Arbok managed to twist itself around in mid-air and fly for Alakazam again. Sabrina and Alakazam were caught by surprise and the psychic Pokémon took the full blow. Arbok started to wrap around it, but got smacked off with a spoon blow. Alakazam turned around and fried Sandshrew who snuck up behind it, then returned its attention to Arbok. Alakazam charged up and unleashed the full power of several psychic type attacks at the snake.
"Arbok, Light Screen and Reflect now!"
Arbok began to glow, activating its newer attacks, and was unaffected by the psychic force that slammed into it, in fact, the attack bounced back and knocked Alakazam off its feet.
Mike watched Arbok's impressive performance awe-struck, "Who's been training Arbok?"
"Me."
"No…really, who borrowed Arbok?"
Eric fell over anime style. He and Mike both missed Arbok finishing off Alakazam, the psychic power disrupted Sabrina's control over Alakazam leaving it disorientated, that gave Arbok a few seconds. Arbok only needed a few seconds, it spun around several times and smashed Alakazam with its tail each rotation. After taking the blows Alakazam was decked out on the ground, too far gone for a recover move. Sabrina looked annoyed, a fact which didn't please Eric or Mike. She sent out a Hypno next, its mega punch knocked Arbok back into a tree, which proceeded to beat up Arbok.
Mike pulled back to release a Pokémon but Gyarados jumped in the way, planning to take on Sabrina itself. Hypno unleashed a psychic attack, but Gyarados didn't seem affected. Gyarados powered up a hyper beam, but Hypno dodged with a teleport. Hypno wasn't the true target though, the hyper beam continued on its course…straight for Sabrina! She jumped in surprise and lifted her arms, erecting a psychic barrier, the hyper beam struck the shield, and actually bounced back at Gyarados. It nailed Gyarados right in the head and it fell over.
Sabrina grinned evilly, but to her surprise and Eric and Mike's relief, Gyarados got back up. In one quick movement in smashed Hypno across the horizon and assumed Dragon Rage position.
Sabrina growled "I tire of this" as her eyes flashed red. Eric, Mike, and Gyarados found themselves unable to move. The trio started sweating big time as Sabrina started walking over.
"HAUNT!!"
A well-timed Night Shade attack blasted Sabrina and unfroze Eric, Mike, and Gyarados.
"What are we going to do man?! It just keeps coming and coming!!"
"Grrr…"
"Uh…I'd recommend against calling her 'it'."
"Haunter…kindly take her out."
"No, stay back Haunter, I'll take her!"
"Eric? Have you lost it? No…wait, you lost it long ago."
"Don't worry, I am the chosen one! I can manipulate the matrix as I see fit!"
Mike, Haunter, and Gyarados facefaulted and sighed as they watched Eric charge Sabrina.
Mike turned to his allies and said, "We should have never let him watch that movie."
Gyarados and Haunter nod in agreement. Just then Eric lands in a jumbled, charred heap.
"Haunter, you may continue."
The fight continued a while, and it looked like Sabrina's last opponent was Haunter, but Eric called it over.
"Haunter…see this message? I want you to make sure it gets where it's going! I'm countin' on ya Haunter."
Haunter looked at the note and shrugged, it was worth a try.
Mike looked appalled as Eric sent away their best hope for defeating Sabrina.
"You idiot! Now we're done for!"
"Don't worry, I have a plan!"
Mike grumbled and started to toss out one of his Pokéballs that contained an unknown Pokémon but Sabrina froze him in his tracks. She froze Eric and Gyarados in place too and shrunk them all to doll size. Sticking them in a pocket she walked off to find the last surviving Marsh Badge winner…Ash Ketchum.
"I bet you're enjoying the ride Eric."
Eric tried to look appalled but managed to get out, "Yeesh! I'm not PJ!!"
Mike growled and said, "No but this fictional version of yourself comes damn close."
Gyarados growled intending to get them to shut up. It worked.
Off in parts unknown, the three inner scouts not captured by Fanboy were trying to come up with a plan.
"I say we jump him and kick his ass!"
Sailor Venus commented "Whoa, bad vibes from Jupiter!"
Sailor Moon nodded in agreement.
Artemis shrugs, points a paw at Jupiter and says "Sounds like a plan to me."
Luna agreed with Jupiter and Artemis, and Jupiter just beamed, gloating at the others.
In order to feed the plot and lend the Scout/Senshi team some more power, the Outers arrive just then. A brief "plan" came into being and they went off to find Fanboy.
Sailor Moon muttered to herself, "Don't worry, we're coming for you…"
PJ came out of nowhere and said, "Me too!"
Jupiter was about to kick him into the stratosphere, but Moon stopped her.
"What? Have you lost…"
Sailor Moon whispered 2 oddly intelligent words in answer; "Shock troop."
Venus nodded and said, "All right, time to kick some pervert ass!"
"Ow!!"
Venus said, "Uh…I didn't mean him."
Jupiter shrugged.
About half an hour later they found themselves in one of the smaller, less-known Pokémon cities. What's the name? Fine, fine I'll make one up…um, Scarlet City. Interestingly enough a rater large red metal dragon was trashing the place.
"What's that?" asked Sailor Neptune.
Venus answered "It looks like that 'Dragon Megatron' that Fanboy sent out after us."
Sailor Moon squeaked out "Yes it is" from underneath the rock she was hiding under.
Saturn piped in "We're Sailor Scouts! We can't let a town get wrecked! Let's go!"
The Sailors agreed and jumped into action, well…Sailor Moon had to be dragged along. PJ stayed behind as battling a giant transforming Dragon wouldn't help him save Sailor Mercury…and he didn't like being extra crispy.
"Hey you! Scale-face! We're the Sailor Scouts, we right.."
BLAM!!!
Dragon Megatron isn't under the Nega-Verse contract to sit through their speeches, thus the fireball he spat out nailed them in mid-sentence and tossed them about.
"Hey…not fair! We weren't done yet!"
"You think I'm going to listen to what you puny organics have to say? I think not. Megatron terrorize!"
Megatron transformed into robot mode and started stomping towards the Sailors. Jupiter jumped up and hit him with a lightning attack. He fell back a step, but then shrugged it off. Sailor Venus's Love Chain attack caught him by the arm, but he yanked on it and sent Sailor Venus sailing over his head (no pun intended). Sailor Jupiter sped towards Megatron in a flying-jump kick but he grabbed her in mid-air and slammed her to the ground.
The outer scouts looked at each other a bit annoyed, "Looks like we'll have to save them again." "Looks like."
Saturn unleashed her Silence Glaive attack, but Megatron transformed into Dragon mode and flew over it. Uranus fired a energy bolt at him, but he stopped it cold with a fire blast. Neptune fired her massive water attack but Megatron's ice beam stopped it too. Megatron knocked Pluto off her feet just before she finished executing her Dead Scream attack.
"Now you die. I'm going to enjoy this" snarled Megatron as he placed his clawed foot on Pluto and began to squish her.
"MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!"
Sailor Moon's battle cry rung out as her powerful beam knocked the transmetal dragon off the guardian of time. Megatron snarled at her but before he could fire anything Sailor Moon hit him with her proposal.
"Hey, Fanboy had you in one of those balls, didn't he? How about we help you get revenge?"
"And what makes you think I'd bother with your help?"
It required beating him down, and some odd "negotiations" but eventually the scouts/senshi convinced Megatron that it would be best if they teamed up. The Sailors would save their friends, and Megatron would get a way back to Cybertron from Fanboy. Though, they're not really considering it teaming up, more like 'attacking the same target and therefore not bothering to fight someone else with the same goal.'
It's not a perfect arrangement, but it keeps Megatron from killing them.
"Hey, kid, could you tell me where I am?"
Sabrina just glared at the stranger, he was kind of big…and looked dumb.
"Pichu!" said the small yellow rodent with him.
Eric went hyper-active inside Sabrina's pocket, "That's Da Evolution Man!! I want his autograph, let me out! Let me out, let me out!!"
Meanwhile, Da Evolution Man was trying to get Sabrina to talk, he'd gotten lost and he really wanted to find his way back to Red Version. Aqua was just…well, what explaining needs to be done? Eventually Sabrina decided to oblige, letting Eric try for an autograph. After about 15 minutes of being refused and repeatedly asked for directions, Eric got mad.
"That's it! No autograph equals I go Matrix on your butt!!"
Eric punched Da Evolution Man a couple times, doing absolutely nothing.
Evoluman glared at him and he hopped up on Sabrina whimpering "protect me!"
Da Evolution Man shook his head and walked off…leaving Eric to be maimed and folded into some interesting origami shapes.
Now we pan over to a supermarket. There's not much special about this store except for the fact of some heavy collateral damage it recently acquired. A large-armor clad man stands in the middle of chaos, a path of destruction starts at where a check-out counter used to be, and ends in the middle of the parking lot. A critically fainted Cashier is put on a stretcher and driven to the hospital. The result of just one shot with Bam-Boom at 70% power is impressive, yes-no? (he didn't mean to set it that high actually…) One down, three to go…only thing is…
"Me pay for it!"
"Uh, no…that's quite all right sir, just leave before you cause any more damage…"
"I SAID ME PAY!"
"Hey! We're not going to make any profit if you pay for this damage!"
Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man realized Bam-Boom was right. He promised to help repair the store, but failed to notice the already terrified manager had fainted when he heard the gun speak. He walked out through the hole he made and continued on his search for Brendan, Fanboy, and Sabrina.
And totally irrelevant to this story, the Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom sat down in a clearing, using a toothpick (all that remained of a tree) to pick the remains of something that was once large out of its teeth (might have been one of Red Version's banner ads). It looked at its watch, not too long before the day of Near-Armageddon, it had things to do, extras to kill, and main characters to maim…later, now it was nappy-time.
Ash was walking along in the woods, side-tracked yet again by a 'shiny object' from his Pokémon training. He wasn't sure how he'd lost Misty and Brock, and was currently trying to find them.
"Pikachu!!" screamed the electric rodent, obviously alarmed.
"What is it?" asked Ash.
Arms flailing, Pikachu pointed "PI! PIKA-CHU!!!"
Ash almost fell over and started to get nervous, "Uh…Sabrina…long time, no see…"
"Hello Ash."
"So…what brings you to Pallet?"
"Looking for you."
"Ah…why would that be?"
Sabrina started to talk but Ash pointed behind her yelling "Look out for the tree!!"
As it is, the tree actually was attacking her, but Ash was also using that old trick we all know so well. While Sabrina fought off the tree Ash took off running.
"I *pant* should have known *pant* that Sabrina wasn't the type to change!"
"Pika" said Pikachu in agreement.
Ash skidded to a stop, narrowly missing barreling into Sabrina, turned a full 180 and started to run again. After only about 8 feet, he had to stop again, for Sabrina teleported in his way again.
"Uh…anyone ever tell you you're very good at that?"
After all the trouble Ash went through to compliment Sabrina, she went and tossed him on his butt.
"Ok, no more running! I wasn't getting anywhere anyway… Pikachu, go!"
Sabrina tried to freeze Pikachu in place, but he leapt up into the air before she could execute the move. A cry of "PIKAAACHUUUU!!!" accompanied the mighty thunder attack the rat unleashed. Sabrina put up a barrier but was pushed back and took some electric shock. Her eyes flashed red as a Pokéball levitated up and unleashed Kadabra.
"A rematch, eh? Ok Pikachu let's show her!"
Kadabra fired a psywave but Pikachu dodged it with agility. Eyes blazing red, both Kadabra and Sabrina fired a rapid-fire near-continuous assault of psybeam attacks. Point of view change…the psybeam attacks slow down, Pikachu twists one way, then another, moves back and down some, avoiding one. Pikachu moves down a little farther, avoiding another, flips backwards avoiding three more. Rolls to one side, then the other, leaps over a few beams and lands in front of Kadabra, a few dozen punches knock Kadabra back.
"Hey Pikachu! You're getting pretty good at that whole Matrix thing!"
"Pikachu!" Pikachu said happily, grinning and flashing the victory sign.
In the pocket we hear complaining. "Man! That dumb little mouse manages all that and I can't even…"
"It was agility, BONE-HEAD!"
"ROAR!!!"
"Ok, ok…" *pouts*
Sabrina glared and Kadabra appeared in front of Pikachu. Pikachu jumped backwards scared but lashed out with electricity. Kadabra got electrocuted but hit back with a psychic attack. Pikachu hit the ground and bounced.
"Pikachu, don't give up!"
Pikachu nodded and hopped back up, assuming martial arts battle position. Kadabra snickered at how ridiculous it looked, and totally missed Pikachu launching itself into a flying jump kick. Sabrina didn't however and had Kadabra teleport out of the way. Pikachu crashed into Ash, sending them both smashing into a tree.
"Pikachu!!" Ash growled accusingly.
"Pikaaa…" Pikachu said apologetically.
Pikachu jumped back into action, weaving left and right, but got caught in a psywave anyway. While he was dazed the psychics grabbed Pikachu with their powers and started smacking him into things.
"HEY! Cut it out!! Squirtle go!"
Squirtle popped out of its Pokéball and caught Kadabra with a Skull Bash knocking out the psychic Pokémon. Sabrina sent out a Drowzee, who nailed Squirtle with a Psybeam. Pikachu was on it like Garfield on a buffet table before it could take the advantage though. Mega kicks and thundershocks sent the Drowzee reeling. Squirtle leveled a water gun at it, blowing it into a tree…which oddly enough, didn't kick the crap out of it. Squirtle and Pikachu fired their attacks at Drowzee but it teleported out of the way…right behind them, with a Mega Punch it knocked both Pikachu and Squirtle a considerable distance.
Ash recalled Squirtle and ran over by Pikachu; "Bulbasaur, I choose you!"
"BULBASAUR!!"
Bulbasaur lashed out with its vine whip, trying to ensnare Drowzee but it teleported again and the vines hit each other and got momentarily entangled. Drowzee appeared behind it, but surprisingly the only action Bulbasaur took was to send its back feet into Drowzee's face. Drowzee staggered but Sabrina forced it to launch another attack, Bulbasaur dodged with some surprising skill and nailed Drowzee with a leech seed. A head-but finished Drowzee and Sabrina recalled it, and sent out Hypno.
Bulbasaur fired a stream of Razor Leaves but they were thrown back at it. Bulbasaur barely dodged and started to power up a Solar Beam. Hypno hit Bulbasaur with Hypnosis, knocking it out.
"Ok Pidgeotto it's your turn!"
Pidgeotto came out of its Pokéball and immediately launched into a quick attack. Hypno teleported out of the way, and Pidgeotto adjusted course to try and hit it. Hypno and Sabrina were too fast though and Pidgeotto slammed straight into a barrier. Pidgeotto got up and used gust attack, which didn't do much to Hypno. Another psychic attack took out Pidgeotto and Ash was running out of options.
"Charizard…you may not like me, but I'm down to my last option here…"
Charizard came out of its Pokéball and as usual lied down to take a nap. Ash had a plan though.
"What?! You're going to take a nap?! Didn't you hear what she said about your momma?"
Charizard sprang up and looked at Ash "Char?!"
Ash took a step back holding his hands out in front of him, "Whoa…I'm way too young to repeat that kind of stuff!!"
Fire glowed in Charizard's eyes and its tail fire exploded outwards, some of it turning blue-white.
"CHAAARRRIZARD!!!"
Charizard was seriously raging, it swung its clawed hand at Hypno, which teleported out of the way. Unfortunately for Hypno it reappeared beside Charizard within striking distance. Charizard lashed out with its other hand and smashed Hypno into the dirt. Before Sabrina could make it shake off the blow and move or counterattack, Charizard kicked it with all his might sending it flying. Sabrina returned Hypno and sent an Alakazam out in front of Charizard--who'd gotten dangerously close. Alakazam fired a psybeam attack right into Charizard as Sabrina backed off. Charizard hardly slowed down and spat out flame, the Alakazam crossed its spoons as it formed a barrier, but it was having a hard time fighting off Charizard's attack. Sabrina couldn't make the Alakazam teleport out of harms way because it was using all its strength fending off Charizard's fire attack…leaving it no defense against a physical attack from Charizard. Sabrina winced as Alakazam reeled back continually slashed by Charizard, she had it use recover, but it was weak and Charizard was relentless, it continued to weaken.
"Nice try, but futile."
Sabrina appeared behind Charizard and hit it with all the psychic power she could muster. Charizard was thrown down hard, crashing through several trees and skidding several meters before it even began to slow down. Charizard got up, shook its head and glared. Its wings snapped out and it began to take to the air but both Sabrina and Alakazam hit it with psychic and Charizard fell back down…its eyes doing that funny swirl-thing.
"Uh-oh…" Ash was sweating nervously at this point…he didn't know what Sabrina planned to do with him, and he really didn't care to find out.
He started to run away but Sabrina froze him in place. She waited a moment, just walking over to him, to let him sweat it. When she decided he was freaked out enough she shrunk Pikachu and him and dropped them in with Eric and Mike.
"Hi! Ash, right? Nice of you to drop in!"
"How can you be calm with this going on?!"
"Oh…we're not…we've just been in this fraggin' pocket for over an hour and we're more uncomfortable and cramped than terrified…"
"We figure we should try and make the best of things."
"Roar!"
"Pikachu?"
Not long afterwards, perhaps due to Sabrina's teleportation, they arrived in Saffron City Gym. Sabrina went down to a cellar-level of her gym and returned her prisoners to full size but she left them frozen. Gyarados started to protest, roaring and growling…what it was saying in Poké-language was that it wasn't a human who won the Marsh Badge, just a bystander and should be let free. Sabrina didn't listen to him though, and started powering up psychic energy to kill all assembled characters.
Whining soon started: "You can't kill me! I'm the star of the Pokémon Anime!" "You can't kill me! I'm Aqua Version's star!!" "No you're not, I am! You can kill him, just spare me!" "Roar!"
Sabrina finished charging up and brought her hand back, but suddenly something crashed through the ceiling. Debris hit hard and a massive cloud of smoke filled the room. In the center of the damage were Haunter and another large form. Glowing blue eyes were all that was visible for a while, then a silhouette, then…Mewtwo.
"All right, who's the puny human that says they could defeat the all powerful Mewtwo?"
"Haunt!" said Haunter simply as he pointed at Sabrina.
Mike blinked in surprise "Mewtwo…you got Mewtwo?!Mewtwo…to off a human being? That is so totally freaking evil it's not funny… I didn't know you had it in you!! I'm so proud!"
Sabrina fired the massive amount of psychic energy straight into the genetic freak, Mewtwo staggered back and shook his head to clear it up, but didn't seem too badly affected. Sabrina released all the Pokémon she had with her and together they pooled their power and attacked Mewtwo.
"Hurry up!"
As to avoid being hit by bits of Saffron Gym Leader, Eric, Mike, Haunter, and Gyarados have already taken to running as fast as they can. Ash stayed a while trying to gather info on Mewtwo, but seeing the destruction resulting from a clash that Sabrina was on the losing side of, he ran off too.
"Hold…on…must…catch breath!" Eric managed to get out, but Gyarados flipped him on its back and continued moving.
They stopped once Mike lost his breath, and had gotten well over 200 yards from the gym. Sabrina's gym was barely standing anymore. With bright colored beams of energy blowing holes in it here and there and Pokémon and psychic lackeys being blown out, it was quickly losing stability.
"What do you think the chances are of Sabrina getting out of this one alive?"
"Slim to none my man, slim to none!"
Haunter and Gyarados roared their approval and danced happily with their human companions.
BOOOOOMM!!!!
The gym exploded most impressively in a huge glow of blue and yellow energies, shrapnel flew for over a mile and the shockwave didn't stop for over 300 yards.
Mewtwo stood amidst the destruction, slightly singed and rather rumpled and grubby. He looked around for Sabrina, but decided that she probably didn't survive, and if she had, she wasn't worth the trouble. The most powerful Pokémon in existence took of for parts unknown in a blazing comet-like flight.
Somewhere in Fuchsia:
A store clerk was getting ready to close up for the night when she saw a massive shooting star…that decided to take a detour and land nearby. A figure walked up, concealed in shadow, and asked in a bizarre voice, "Excuse me, but could I get some Advil here?"
"Uh…store's closed…"
"Not yet it isn't. I've been in a nasty fight resulting in a headache from hell and countless bruises, you will give me some Advil NOW!!"
The clerk decided she couldn't say no safely and gave Mewtwo the pain relieving medicine as fast as she could, not bothering with being a pain about yen.
Back in Saffron:
Eric and Mike were slowly recovering along with their Pokémon…being caught up in a massive shockwave of incredible psychic energy turns out to be rather painful.
"We did it!!"
"We survived!!"
"Haunt, haunt haunter!"
"GAAARRAA!"
"Not yet."
"AAAAHHHH!!! You're…you're alive?"
"Here's a hint!"
Sabrina looked worse for wear, bruised, charred, cut, clothes torn and burnt…but that wasn't nearly as important as how ticked she looked. Her eyes flashed red and the quartet of characters flew backwards into a building. The wall creaked ominously from the impact and they watched in fear a moment before they realized the building wasn't going to fight.
Eric knew they needed a leader to take quick and decisive action, so he immediately took a hold of the situation with strongly shouted orders, "RUN!! RUN AWAY!! SLOWEST ONE GETS CAUGHT FIRST!!"
Being the lot they are, they all took off running, often pushing to get ahead. Unfortunately for the two humans Gyarados won the pushing matches quite easily and it was between them for who took the rear. Gyarados and Haunter flew over a bridge to the other side of a riverbank before Eric and Mike even quite got to it. Both of them skidded to a stop and looked nervously at the bridge, it was very old and rickety with several holes in the boards that were still in place.
"Uh…that doesn't look safe…" whined Eric.
They both turned around when they heard trees snapping and saw a little path of forest being cleared towards them…with a bright red flare marking the source of the destruction.
"Um…it's no more dangerous than what's behind us!!" shouted Mike.
They took off and jumped onto the bridge, moving as fast as they could and jumping to avoid crocodiles jumping up and snapping at them.
"I thought this was Poké-Earth! What are crocodiles doing here?"
"I don't know! I'd rather just get away right now!"
Upon reaching the other end they both pulled axes out of no where and started hacking at the rope-bridge. It was soon cut and drifting in the current on one side… the crocodiles ate the bridge oddly enough. Suddenly some trees blew over and Sabrina walked into view. Eric and Mike moved very quickly though and took up watching positions behind some cover. Rather than floating over the water or parting it, or anything obvious and simple like that…she walked into it. Heading straight for the opposite side her head soon disappeared underneath the surface.
"Did she just drown herself?"'
"You wish…we could never be so lucky."
Surely enough on their side of the bank close to where they were waiting some bubbles broke the surface followed by a head. Eric and Mike jumped back in surprise.
"Man…she's some kind of unstoppable…psychic…person…"
She strode out into the open, not even seemingly wet from the dip. Also, disappointingly enough, she wasn't mauled to death by crocodiles either.
"Resume running? Uh…where'd you go?"
Eric soon took off running after Mike, who was the faster of the two on foot, and sometimes in the head too. Eventually they both ran out of breath and fell over trying to get some air. Eric analyzed the situation, jagged rocky cliff overhead, big debris lying around from quarrying…they looked doomed. Sabrina stopped and observed the area, no way to escape, perfect.
"I don't know if it's worth this trouble, or even why I've wasted so much time…but damn if killing those two won't feel good!"
Sabrina marched over until she saw them. Perfect, she thought as she smiled, she began to levitate a very large rock.
"Do…you see…her…any…AHHH!!!"
"NOOO!! I'm…to tired…to run and good-looking to die!"
Sabrina telekinetically threw the massive boulder at Aqua's stars. Eric panicked and threw out one of his unknown Pokémon.
"Pokéball go!"
Out of the ball materialized what is currently the biggest Pokémon known, Onix! The monstrous rock snake roared as it swung its tail and send the boulder flying back at Sabrina. She had closed her eyes, just enjoying the moment, and opened her eyes to view the final squishing…just in time!
"EEEKK!!" Sabrina was actually startled as she jumped back and threw up a barrier. The boulder hit and stopped in its tracks. A blast of psychic energy destroyed the boulder utterly. She started stomping over to Eric and Mike again, rather annoyed.
"What are we going to do man?! WHAT are we going to do?!"
The answer was quite simply; nothing. A chunk of the boulder she destroyed fell back to earth…onto her head. Sabrina fell to the ground limp and Eric and Mike looked at each other slightly confused.
She got back up, eyes glowing with rage, "THAT'S IT, I’M GOING TO…"
CRACK!! Another chunk nails her on the head. Once again she hits the ground.
This time she got up more slowly "Owwwiiieee…."
WHACK!! Yet another piece of rock…
Eric and Mike approached her still form slowly and came to a stop about three feet away.
"Is she alive?"
"I can't tell…"
"Poke her."
"Poke her?"
"You heard me, poke her!"
"No way, you poke her!"
Eric reluctantly bent over her to examine her after another 5 minutes of this.
Eric recoiled and Sabrina blinked and jumped up.
"I didn't say that!!"
"Say what?"
"Good!"
THWACK!! Eric and Mike backed off and looked up, wondering just how many pieces were yet to come.
"Uuuhhh…I have the most god-awful hea…" SMACK!!
"Um…think she has a concussion?" Mike asked.
"I don't know, I'm a comedian not a doctor!" Eric un-funnily retorted.
"What should we do with her?"
"Search her for money, take it and run!"
"Eric…do you really think she can carry money in that outfit?"
"Dang it! You're right…"
Sabrina fluttered her eyes open yet again "Uuggg…"
"AAAAHHH!!! SHE'S AWAKE, RUN!!"
"What?! Who are you?"
Eric and Mike tried to run but she got in their way.
"Excuse me, but…"
Eric and Mike ducked down and started saying their prayers.
"…could you tell me who you are, what I'm doing here…and for that matter, who I am? And…why do I have this absolutely horrid headache?!"
Eric and Mike looked at each other and high-five, yelling simultaneously: "Amnesia!! She's lost her memory, we get to live!!"
Sabrina looked at them confused and sat down, and started to cry. After trying to console her and finding her memory-less self to be a complete pacifist they decided to take her back to Saffron city and try to find her home (then ditch her and run like hell).
Elsewhere a certain Gyarados and Haunter are looking around for their human companions.
"Haunt-haunt-haunt!! Haunter haunt!"
"GYAR! RAAA! GYAR RAAA!"
Fanboy was trudging along with Brendan close behind.
"Listen here, I'm not taking you as a sidekick you little thief!!"
"I hate to get technical, but aren't you yourself…"
"Wait! What's that?"
"The sound of one hand clapping?"
Fanboy glared at his travelling companion and creeped over to where he heard the noise. It sounded like something big moving in the bushes. He parted a hedge and jumped out intending to surprise whoever it was on the other side. He was the one that got the surprise as it turns out though, as he smacked face-first into a wall of metal.
"OW!!! What the?!!?"
The wall turned out to be a human-like-form and turned to face Fanboy.
"Hmmm.…would you by any chance be Fanboy?"
"Yeah, what's it to you?"
Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man whipped his cannon Bam-Boom into view and said "I am Mister Macho Gung-Ho Action Man, and I've been hired to off you!"
'Action Man looked around confused…Fanboy had run away during the time it took to announce his name. No matter though, he would just chase him down!
Brendan watched on confused as Fanboy sped by him screaming "RUN, RUN, RUN!!!"
He soon took the advice however, as Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man smashed out of the foliage. He took off running as well but soon a huge scarlet dragon barred the way.
"Dra…Dragon Megatron?!"
"Yes, and now you are going to die!" shouted the Predacon leader as he spat flame at the humans.
'Action Man blocking one way and Megatron blocking another, they had plenty of directional options…until PJ and most of the Sailor Scouts/Senshi jumped out from behind cover and surrounded them. Surrounded and outnumbered Fanboy decided to do the most sensible thing he could do.
"Ok, fine. I'll take you on as a sidekick."
"No way! I'm outta…"
Brendan got hit by Sailor Jupiter's lightning attack and was backed up as the circle began to close around them.
"You have no choice Brendan, they're going to maul you just because you're here."
"Ok, ok, fine…I just hope I live to kill you after this."
Fanboy smirked and answered "We shall see."
To Be Continued!
Tune in for Aqua's First War Event as Fanboy and Brendan face off against the forces assembled against them!
