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Battles 101 to 105. Aqua was on the mother of hiatuses for a while, breaking briefly in 101 which never continued to be, but Aqua came back in 102 with the current PB trend, the "Console War."
Click to jump to: Battle 101; Battle 102 ; Battle 103; Battle 105.
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Aqua Battle 101: Things Happen During Hiatus?
Writer: EricMHE
Location: Sabrina's Castle
Player: Sabrina
AQUA disengages from HIATUS STATE!
NARRATOR is glad!
NARRATOR can torture again!
Heh. Predictable isn't it?
...><
NARRATOR also happens to want to see how FAR it can get AQUA in the new NETWORK!
Anyway, there's this big "revive Aqua" thing being planned. Webmaster wants to have more to work with than a leveled planet. Should be good.
NARRATOR agrees!
So many more souls to traumatize!
...fweh.
Odd isn't it? You'd expect Eric and Mike to announce this sort of thing, wouldn't you? Seems they got high at some point and we really haven't found them since...
Seems rather odd. Usually you can't go anywhere on this site without tripping over one or the other.
NARRATOR thinks this is a shame!
The GEEK BOYS are nice PUNCHING BAGS!
I'll consent on that one Narrator. Now, let's go find some of that supporting cast eh?
Eh, SINCE it's only a CRAPPITY RECAP, NARRATOR will COMPLY!
…true dat, true dat… Anyway…
I think Ms. Needsareduction from Liquid disappeared or something.
BODY-SNATCHING! OTURI does...like, this thing to recharge psychic energy.
...PP restoring things don't do it for her?
APPARENTLY this "LIQUID VERSION" has some differences!
Apparently so. What happened to Deutsh?
NARRATOR took him HOME and TRIED to turn him back into a FISH, but it didn't WORK!
…and then…*sniff* while NARRATOR was out of the ROOM little DEUTSHY ran away!
…-_-; I wonder why..
Anyway, moving on…Ummm…OH!
All right. There's Chang, we tied him up. Figured he was too much trouble.
CHANG: Come on! I've told you! We're just a role-playing group!
Since when do RP GROUPS really BURN things DOWN!
CHANG: ...when the booze goes a bit too heavy...
So, you simply decided you'd "Role Play" being a criminal band?
CHANG: Exactly!
...Can I psychic blast him?
NARRATOR isn't sure it'll DO much, but feel free to TRY!
SABRINA gives it a TRY!
CHANG is ROUGHED UP a little bit!
Seems FINE though, unfortunately!
Bah. No brain no pain?
…That's BAD!
Sorry, I'm new to this "joke" thing…
W…Nah, too EASY!
SABRINA continues going ROOM to ROOM while discussing AQUA CHARACTERS!
zzz… *snort* Um…OOPS!
Here's an underused character. "Red Ninja" kind of a blatant rip off deal. She's yet to have the screen time to develop a personality though. I think I'll let her take this over. I have to catch up with some of my magazine subscriptions.
SABRINA leaves!
RN: What you suppose she subscribes to? Evil Weekly?
YEAH. Doesn't seem to do her much good though!
REALLY, KHIRMA's a member too, he's not exactly a FEARED VILLIAN!
SABRINA leaves ROOM!
RED NINJA is now allowed to MOVE about the CASTLE
Location:
Castle stillPlayer: Red Ninja
Whee! I'm the 'player' for once? Main role? Nice.
…Ooh, NAÏVE PERSON! ^_^
…Knew I should have asked a little more about it…
So, anyway, we've covered Deutsh, Eric and Mike, and Oturi and Sabrina…and that really doesn't leave me with all that much.
NARRATOR is busy trying to find a way to make your LIFE royally SUCK and SOON!
…Um, I'll try and rap this up quickly then…
Dark and I were caught while snooping around the castle. Seems Sabrina was one of the first to come to, unfortunately. We've been in trouble with Miss Overpowered but we're both still alive.
Ryoga is…missing. Usual scenario. MMGHAM and Bam-Boom are back out doing whatever, seems the gun has an "Auto-Heal" function, however strange that is… o_O;
Waspinator and Ned are nowhere to be found, and anyone else you'll probably find out later! I'm leaving before…
MINK VASE wants to fight!
…what? You expect this to stop me?
If you KO it, it SHATTERS! If it SHATTERS, SABRINA gets pissed!
… I'm not Eric, foolish narrator!
…FINE then! Just GO!
All right, I will.
FINE!
Ok.
RED NINJA shatters VASE on WAY OUT and RUNS AWAY! ><
NARRATOR thinks this RN character is too BRASH for its own good. ><
Location:
Um…somewhere.Player: EricMHE
Urg...what the hell?
Where IS this?
MIKE: Ug...no clue...still seeing too many colors to make anything out.
...lovely.
MIKE: Why'd we do that anyway?
I think someone dared us to try it. …and when we refused he offered 10 bucks to each of us.
MIKE: Ah. So, where's the money?
…You know what, I think we used it to buy more of that hallucinogen…
MIKE: …>< I ever tell you how much you suck at business deals?
No more than you do.
MIKE: UG, so where the hell are we? Can you make a guess?
Looks like a post-apocalyptic New York to me.
MIKE: Ah, Doompuff took a bite out of the big apple? …Get it?!
…You're still high I hope…><
Ya know, NARRATOR kind of does TOO!
MIKE: What? You don't get it?
….I GET THE LOUSY ATTEMPT AT A JOKE, OK!!
owww…my head…
MIKE: Owww…I have a headache too…ug, you really shouldn't get so worked up…
…*eye twitch* grr…
NARRATOR thinks HEADACHE is only going to GET WORSE!
O_O Uh-oh…how?
WALL behind ERIC and MIKE collapses on THEM!
MIKE: …must have been low on HP…
><
Thank you Obvious Master.
MIKE: Your welcome. I aim to please.
oooohhh…><…
NARRATOR wants to know if you know where ANYONE ELSE is!
Ug…not really…lost track of…well, everything…
MIKE: What happened to that refugees from the future dealie that was going on? Thought that was our new plot…
…um…temporary plothole? Rewrite maybe? …something like that… Evoluman…said he was going to try and catch another Pokémon, one "hopefully better" than that Alakazam…
NARRATOR makes a note!
EVOLUMAN next battle it is!
Now, come along! SABRINA wants you!
MIKE: ACK! Yeah, to dissect or something!
…yeah, we aren't going…
10 LARGE GUYS appeared!
You can EITHER go to SABRINA's CASTLE or FIGHT THEM!
Arg, this is just lose-lose!
ERIC and MIKE are dragged back to SABRINA's CASTLE!
Player:
SabrinaLocation: Castle Courtyard
I feel an apology is in order. After that lame excuse for a battle, we feel the need to apologize and attempt to entertain. Get the monkey boys out here!
ERIC and MIKE are shoved into ARENA!
These two haven't eaten in several days, surviving on bad crack apparently. Let's see how they react to a single snickers bar placed in the arena with them. ^^
THAT is utterly SICK and COMPLETEY TWISTED!
Coming from you I imagine that's a complement.
RIGHT-O! NICE job!
ERICMHE: GAH! That's WRONG! You hear that Mike?
MIKE: When's that Snicker's bar gonna be put in here?
EricMHE: … >< …Um, HEY Sabrina! You heinous bitch! Do you really think we're gonna... HEY! Put that thing down!
Mike: Make me!
EricMHE: We...should share. Come on, you know you can't handle sweets!
Mike: Oh yeah? Hold it right there if you don't want this thing shoved in your eye!
Ah, I rather like these two at times.
Now, any takers on betting who gets first blood?
NUMEROUS people begin to TAKE BETS!
Gotta give this site credit. There's nothing they won't do to the main mascots… ah-heh…
Oh, OW… Didn't think he had the attack stat to do that kind of thing…
O_O; NARRATOR ain't NARRATING THAT!
This is far from my best battle, but I'm doing the Feedback Board thing anyway.
Aqua Battle 102: As Big as They Come
Writer: EricMHE
Location: Pahrump, NV
Player: Aqua's Author?
Aqua's been on uber-hiatus, you know that. I planned some big changes to Aqua, but I really don't feel like writing how they happened. So, I'm "pulling a Turquoise" and saying they just happened while I wasn't updating.
…keep talking like that and Doompuff comes back, understand me?
EricMHE: Eep…yessir.
Good. Now, on to the battle. ^^
Location:
Random FieldPlayer: EricMHE
EVOLUMAN: Nice that they rebuilt Aqua. All that death was monotonous scenery.
EVOLUMAN: …that's…kinda sick.
So, how's life been treating you?
EVOLUMAN: Not so hot. You guys just don't update.
Eh-heh…yeah…
Well, at least red version isn't doing much better… heh.
EVOLUMAN: Shut up, the almighty webmaster is a lot less lazy than your flabby webmaster!
Wait a minute we're not supposed to be breaking the fourth wall anymore with these anti-webmaster jokes anymore…
EVOLUMAN: …oh yeah. So, umn… What you think of my Alakazam?
ALAKAZAM is sleeping!
Not so hot.
EVOLUMAN: >< You want a battle, punk?
Where did THAT come from?!
EVOLUMAN: …I dunno, just seems like we should battle.
True that…true that… but, who says we shouldn't rise above our base instincts? You know, discourage the urge to battle and find peaceful solutions!
MEWTWO: DUDE! That is SO what I've been trying to tell people!
EVOLUMAN and ERICMHE: Forget that strategy then.
Anime villains turned good suck.
EVOLUMAN: Agreed. Shall we whip this lousy excuse for an uber-Pokémon?
MEWTWO says it does not wish to FIGHT YOU, but if it MUST, it will KILL YOU as DOOMPUFF-LIKE as POSSIBLE!
O_O; WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PACIFIST SAYS THAT SORT OF THING?!?!
MEWTWO shrugs. Says it has to do with being AQUA VERSION!
EVOLUMAN: Damn dude, even Red wasn't this violent.
Well, looks like we've dug our own graves. Let's fight it out and win over absurd odds like real heroes, aye?
GIANT BLACK THING falls from SKY!
MEWTWO is CRUSHED like…a small, easily crushable thing…
Mental note; hiatus dulls the Narrator's brain.
EVOLUMAN: What is that big black thing? And that evil X… it's…hypnotizing me…
Ack! Umn…cure for sleep, cure for poison, no cure for mind control? Wait that's it!
You need a brain to be hypnotized!
EVOLUMAN: The MHE is correct! HAH! Evil black thing, your pitiful attempts to control our minds are doomed to failure!
Enemy X-BOX CONTROLLER says DAMN!
Hey…X-Box, that's that Microsoft game system… HOLY CRAP, THAT'S THE CONTROLLER?! Dude, those warnings about hand spraining were serious.
EVOLUMAN: Alright…what's the console look like then?
SUN is BLOTTED OUT!
GROUND begins to QUAKE!
EVOLUMAN: Oh no! This can only mean ONE thing!
The webmaster isn't tired of X-Box bashing yet?
NARRATOR says RIGHT!
Really, this is such disgusting exaggeration…I mean, look at it, it's the size of a planet. In real life the X-Box is hardly larger than the average coffee table. It's really just annoying.
EVOLUMAN: We are so screwed.
Pfft, I'm not going the way of Bob. No way am I going to survive Doompuff only to be killed by a Microsoft war machine.
EVOLUMAN: Hey, no dissin' the Red Version co-workers buddy.
Umn, alright. Right now, we need to think of a way to escape that X-Box.
RANDOM PERSON appeared!
RANDOM PERSON: You mean fight, right?
No.
RANDOM PERSON: Well, that's not very heroic.
EVOLUMAN: You must forgive the weakling Aqua Trainer, he's just an utter and complete sissy weakling.
*glare* Well, I'm still alive, I figure that's what counts. Not like you're very strong without your ally Pikachu.
EVOLUMAN: Well…I…uh… Hey, the X-Box is still there!
…nice move Evoluman.
EVOLUMAN: So, any ideas on how to…like, save da planet?
…you're asking ME? Yeesh, you think I know how save anything? Well…other than myself.
EVOLUMAN: …-_-; Well, I'm not the best at it either…
SABRINA: Eesh, I know I'm the main one with the psychic powers, but oi, isn't there any regular BRAIN power distributed amongst this cast?
Oh go away. We really don't need you.
SABRINA: Fine, don't listen to my plan.
EVOLUMAN: Ok, we won't.
Yeah.
SABRINA leaves!
Good riddance.
EVOLUMAN: Yeah, annoying person.
Enemy X-BOX still LOOMS ominously!
Uh… enemy X-Box?
…oh, right. X-BOX wants to fight!
EVOLUMAN: How lame, your narrator's even forgotten some of its own protocol…
Eh, big deal. My concern is how do we fight something that big?
NARRATOR doesn't WAIT for these two to REMEMBER BATTLE!
Go! ARBOK!
Ally EVOLUMAN sent out ALAKAZAM!
Enemy X-BOX seems amused!
Yeah, two Pokémon vs. a planet, it's not exactly fair.
Enemy X-BOX used EVIL BLAST!
ALAKAZAM and ARBOK fainted!
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I seem to recall seeing something on the X-Box demo that looked like it involved things rolling around in balls…
Perhaps it's no Super Monkey Ball, but it could be fun I suppose.
EVOLUMAN: …you turn traitor just like that?
Yeah. Come on over, maybe we can multiplayer … or maybe team up to use this monster controller…
EVOLUMAN: …
Just get over here would you?
EVOLUMAN: Wimp…
*Psst!* I have a plan…
EVOLUMAN: …what? No way…
Just activate everything you can, this thing is a technological Swiss Army Knife…
ERICMHE turns on GAME!
EVOLUMAN connects X-BOX to INTERNET!
ERICMHE begins DOWNLOADING STUFF!
EVOLUMAN begins UPLOADING STUFF!
ERICMHE begins BURNING illegal CD copies! …wow, anyone CAN do it!
…can't you ever shut up?
Not in NARRATOR's contract to do that!
ERICMHE brings DEATHRAY online!
EVOLUMAN shuts down DEATHRAY!
X-WINDOWS has become unstable!
GAME has done an ILLEGAL OPERATION!
Ha! Yes!
ERICMHE closes ILLEGAL OPERATION window and starts putting MUSIC TRACKS onto the HARD DRIVE!
EVOLUMAN: …you're trying to crash this thing?
Sure, best way to defeat any Microsoft product. I learned that while helping the characters from the future find a new alternate reality in which to inhabit so as not to disrupt our timeline.
EVOLUMAN: …wait, when did THAT happen?
Hiatus. You know, like Turquoise did, we wrapped up the cool, more difficult plot stuff while the site wasn't updating.
EVOLUMAN: … I dunno what to say on that.
Enemy X-BOX is crashing!
EVOLUMAN: 'Oly Crap! What have you done?
Uh…saved us from the X-Box?
EVOLUMAN: …what happens if that thing crashes…INTO EARTH?
Uh…oh shit.
Enemy X-BOX falls towards PLANET!
…or is EARTH falling towards X-BOX? …eh, either way result will be the same.
Tune in to the next AQUA BATTLE! …if there is one.
Ah yeah, post feedback if it's not too much trouble, alright?
Aqua Battle 103: Day Job
December 30, 2001Writer: EricMHE
Location: Aqua "MegaMarket"
Player: Dark Warrior
Thank you, come again.
CUSTOMER leaves STORE!
…wait a minute…
What is it?
The SEMI-EVIL NINJA PERSON is now working in a GROCERY STORE?
…gotta make money somehow. Yeesh, who'd have ever thought Aqua would take some giant world reformatting that made it more like the real world?
NARRATOR be damned!
I wish…
CUSTOMER comes up with ITEMS! DARK WARRIOR does CLERK THING!
That'll be twelve dollars.
CUSTOMER: DOLLARS?! Oi, all that time with those clerks demanding yen…now we're on dollars? WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS PLACE?!
…
Wish I knew. I suppose I could convert yen but…
CUSTOMER: But you'd rather demand dollars, find out I don't have any, then start a fight, HUH!!
… look, I can…
CUSTOMER: Oh, think you can kick my butt do you? Well I'll show you! I'll beat you up and FORCE you to take yen payment!!!
Living in this version has obviously screwed up your mind, care to see a shrink?
CUSTOMER: NO! FIGHT! COME ON PUNK!
CUSTOMER reaches over COUNTER and hauls DARK WARRIOR over it!
CUSTOMER: DAMN YOU! I FINALLY GET ENOUGH YEN TO SHOP AND NOW IT'S DOLLARS?! THIS IS SOME SORT OF GROCERY TELLER CONSPIRACY ISN'T IT?!?!
Look, I just started working here..
CUSTOMER used PUNCH!
CUSTOMER punched DARK WARRIOR across the FACE!
This is instilling old feelings of aggression and anger. I feel the need to ignore my anger management classes and inflict bodily harm.
CUSTOMER: Oh don't play 'Deadmarsh' on me, I read Red too.
Playing? That's what you think? ^^
DARK WARRIOR used SWORD-JAB!
…
Enemy CUSTOMER is sent flying into the FROZEN FOODS section!
…Guess that's critical hit!
So, did you like that punk?
Enemy CUSTOMER returns!
Enemy CUSTOMER sent out WALLET!
What is this supposed to do?
Enemy CUSTOMER begins boring you with PHOTOS and STORY of how he restored a 1950's model CAR!
AAAARRG! EVIL!
DARK WARRIOR used STEAL!
DARK WARRIOR got CUSTOMER's money!
Ah, nice bonus for me today.
CUSTOMER: …talk about highway robbery in today's super stores… o_O;
Your use of internet faces annoys me.
DARK WARRIOR used…
CUSTOMER leapt away into BREAD ISLE to avoid the BLOW!
Wuss…
Enemy CUSTOMER threw HARD ROLL!
…throwing a roll?
*CLANG!*
AQUA MEGAMARKET sells HARD ROLLS that are BULLET PROOF!
…it might…nice been…beforehand warn me…
DARK WARRIOR falls over!
CUSTOMER: Ooh, does this mean I win?
…NO! That's more dialogue for a PLAYER anyway!
DARK WARRIOR groggily gets up!
That hurt…oww…
CUSTOMER: Dude…I think I gave him a concussion… w00t! GO ME!!
…>_<
This is nearly unheard of in Pokébattles any more, but…
Return! DARK WARRIOR!
Go! GOLBAT!
GET HIM!
…wonderful tactical choice…
CUSTOMER: AHHH! BLOODSUCKING BAT!!!
GOLBAT chases enemy CUSTOMER around!
Enemy CUSTOMER runs out the DOOR!
GOLBAT follows!
CUSTOMER: AHHH!! IT'S IN MY HAIR! IT'S IN MY HAIR!!!
…how…utterly pathetic…
…DARK WARRIOR wins! …bah, how…LAME!
Indeed…
DARK WARRIOR looks out WINDOW and shakes his head!
…WHA!? What is that?
Huh? Oh, you mean the GIANT SKY-CONSUMING BLACK THING that is falling towards and threatening to UTTERLY DESTROY Aqua Earth?
…yeah…
Oh, that's just the X-BOX in this reality!
ERICMHE and EVOLUMAN need to stop it within the next few battles!
Uh…those two? …oh hell, I better go do something about this…
Once again, feedback. Go do it.
Aqua Battle 104: Buddy's Back Again...Big Whoop-de-doo, yay.
Jan 6, 2002Writer: MrKite15/EricMHE Joint Project
Location: Sci-Fi Gal's House
Player: Sci-Fi Gal
DOORBELL used RING!
It's super effective!
DOORBELL used RING!
I'm coming, I'm coming, hold on one second!
DOORBELL used RING!
Not enough PP for that attack!
DOORBELL was hit with RECOIL!
DOORBELL fainted!
That helps.
SCI-FI GAL opens DOOR!
UPS MAN: Delivery for a Miss Rachael...
Just Rachael.
UPS MAN: Okay, I have a package from a Buddy Cole...
Yeah, fine, I'll take it.
UPS MAN: Postage due.
...it's from Buddy all right -_-
SCI-FI GAL used PAYDAY!
UPS MAN fainted!
RACHAEL gained 28 exp.!
...alright...now, what did he send me...
RACHEAL used LIFT!
It's not very effective...
This thing must weigh a ton! What did he send me, a whale or something?
RACHEAL opened BOX!
RACHEAL received BUDDY!
Player:
BuddyMiss me?
It's a long complicated story, anyway, I'm back! Now we can get married and...
SCI-FI GAL: I thought you were dead...
It seems to be a rather easily reversed status effect.
SCI-FI GAL: But, I thought you were gone, and I...I moved on...
BROCK: Honey, what's going on?
...Brock?! You left me for that squinty-eyed freak?!
SCI-FI GAL: YOU WERE DEAD!
And how many times have YOU been dead?
SCI-FI GAL: ...touché
Things have suddenly gotten a lot more complicated...
SCI-FI GAL: Look, you boys sit down and talk, I'll make us some tea, we'll talk this out like adults...
But I don't wanna talk this out like adults! I wanna kick his ass!
SCI-FI GAL: Be nice you two, I'll be right back. I don't want to see EITHER of you fighting
But...
RACHEAL used EVIL EYE!
BROCK: Yes'm
Yes'm
RACHAEL ran away!
...so...
BROCK: You think you can take my car and get away with it, huh?
Umn...
BROCK: You ruined my car, I ruin your relationship. I think it's a fair trade-off.
You were never this evil in the series.
BROCK: Blame it on poor character writing.
That I will! This is insane!
BROCK: Welcome to Aqua Version.
…that makes no sense, I've lived here except for brief bits in Liquid and the FPL.
BROCK: It really is too bad she won't let us fight this out. Personally I wanted to just beat you up, but eh, I think this works too. And it's unique to this version.
Yeah, how'd you pull it off anyway? I was pretty sure you couldn't get a date if your life depended on it.
BROCK: I believe the same could be said of you.
…touché
SCI-FI GAL returns!
SCI-FI GAL: You two been good?
Against all Aqua Version-like "reasoning", yes.
SFG: Wow, I'm impressed. So, you two work anything out?
Not really. How opposed are you to the idea of the two of us dueling for continued dating rights?
SFG: Oh please… how barbaric. Treating me like a prize now?
Aww…come on! I saved you from Chang remember?
BROCK: Really? YOU pulled that off? I'm surprised.
Well, I had a little help…that's not important! What did HE ever do for you?
SFG: Well, he's been really nice and he hasn't been as tastelessly loserly as you are.
…-_-;; Great, I'm worse than Brock?
Ah, I have it… He is just doing this to get back at me for destroying his car!
BROCK: Oh I am not, that would be waaayyy too shallow.
SFG: I believe you Brock, and Buddy, you destroyed his car?
…I think I'll go roll up in a ball and sob in the corner for a while if that's ok…
BUDDY walks away!
BUDDY notices LARGE OMINOUS SHADOW!
What is THAT?!
BROCK: I don't know…
SFG: Uh…some evil alien planet-killer?
THAT is the AQUA VERSION of the X-BOX!
…no way… I mean… I thought X-Box looked alright… a little big, but otherwise a potentially cool system…
EVERYTHING looks far more menacing in AQUA VERSION!
BROCK: The narrator's right you know, ever try fighting a flower here?
Point… Man, is that thing…FALLING?
Yes it is! ERICMHE caused it to OVERLOAD and now the X-BOX is going to CRASH into AQUA EARTH!
BROCK: …at the very least I think we should go pound Eric some.
SFG agrees!
Eh, might as well.
Ok people, head over to that message board and say something, k?
Aqua Battle 105: Typical Cast Gathering Begins
Writer: EricMHE
Location: Same Random Field
Player: EricMHE
EVOLUMAN: YOU'VE KILLED US ALL YOU FOOL!
EVOLUMAN: …this is true… BUT DAMN IT! I WISH YOU'D STOP ENDANGERING EVERYBODY WITH YOUR STUPIDITY!!
Err…ah-heh, yeah I suppose I could think things out more.
`EVOLUMAN: You bet you…oi. Well, we need to find a way to fix your foolish mistake little man and save the planet.
Might not be a bad idea, but…how do we stop something that big?
X-BOX: Resistance is futile. Prepare to surrender all monetary resources to Microsoft.
RANDOM INTERNET FANBOY appeared!
RANDOM INTERNET FANBOY: This is a job for a real system! GO GAMECUBE!
RIF sent out NINTENDO GAMECUBE!
Did he?
EVOLUMAN: I do not see this "cube"…
Oh, there it is, the little purple thing.
EVOLUMAN: You want to send something smaller than a soda can against…THAT thing?
RIF: You know not the power of the 'cube, it's all about the games! GO!
GAMECUBE flies up to engage enemy X-BOX!
Enemy X-BOX scans GAMECUBE!
X-BOX: Your technology is inferior. Your resistance is of no consequence. Now shoo, you dumb little purse-looking thing.
GAMECUBE: *sniff* …everyone's always soooo mean to me!!
GAMECUBE runs away crying!
I must say, that was extremely anti-climactic.
EVOLUMAN: Some "console war" that turned out to be.
Any other plans mister fanboy?
RIF: Uh…I have the GBA, but I don't think that would do any better…
X-BOX: Nintendo brainwashed victim identified. Eliminating.
Enemy X-BOX fires a laser from the BIG GREEN X!
RIF was instantly SMITED!
RIF evolved into SMOLDERING ASHES!
EEEKK…
EVOLUMAN: …I wonder if the great evil box would accept our surrender?
Uh…maybe, just don't buy any Nintendo products…
GROUND splits OPEN!
Oh what now?
VOICE: I…LIVE…AGAIN!!
I know that voice, but…
EVOLUMAN: It's too soon, he was just resurrected when we showed up in that alternate future…
VOICE: Yeah, yeah, after reading what little there was of that horrible fanfic I decided to pick up the pace. TREMBLE IN FEAR! I AM…FANBOYIMUS PRIME!
To explain this to readers, I'll use the Pokédex.
POKéDEX: Fanboyimus Prime, the evolved version of Fanboy returned from the dead. He now has a metal body, stands 35 feet tall and is equipped with many high powered weapons. Advised strategy is to run like hell.
Bah, we took him down before once before, right Da Evolution Man?
EVOLUMAN: Yeah…or, well…umn, what I mean, is "before" really the right word?
Hmm, interesting point. …wait a minute, in that alternate future we had help taking down Fanboyimus…
EVOLUMAN: Yeah, that future version of Sabrina that was three times as powerful as the modern one and those shock troops, right?
Yeah, that's right! …oh my… I think we may be at a slight disadvantage now.
FANBOY: HAHAHA! …I don't know what you're talking about, but prepare to die!
EVOLUMAN: Oh shut up, we've got bigger things to worry about.
FANBOY: …Like WHAT?!
EVOLUMAN points UP!
FANBOY: …wow that's a big ominous object.
Yeah, we need to figure out how to beat it. Now go…do something else.
FANBOY: I don't have anything better to do than kill you…
Uh, Jason Ross in Mission Viejo California has a GameCube and a few multi-player games.
FANBOY: W00T! Fanboy! Transform and roll out for CA!
FANBOY transforms into a GIANT BATTLE VEHICLE and ROLLS for CALIFORNIA!
…well, won't he have a fun surprise.
DARK WARRIOR appears!
DARK WARRIOR: Alright, what have you done now, idiot?
EVOLUMAN: Hey! I resent that…OH, you're talking to THIS idiot.
EVOLUMAN points at ERICMHE!
DARK WARRIOR: Indeed I am.
Err…uh, I can explain?
BROCK, BUDDY, and SCI-FI GAL appears!
That should be 'appear' shouldn't it?
NARRATOR doesn't care!
BROCK: I would hope you do have some explanation for this.
SCI-FI GAL: Best to just beat it out of this idiot.
DARK WARRIOR: Agreed.
DARK WARRIOR, BROCK, BUDDY, and SCI-FI GAL want to fight!
Bah, we can take 'em, right Evoluman?
EVOLUMAN is currently interested in SOMETHING ELSE about 50 feet away!
Oh no…
Location:
Southern CaliforniaFANBOY: This rules…
JASONR: Indeed….
JASONR and FANBOY are drooling over and playing SUPER MONKEY BALL!
FANBOY: Monkeys…
JASONR: In balls…
BOTH: …so brilliant…*drool*
As always, post some feedback. Snap-snap.
