|
Battles 66 to 70. More or less Eric goes totally insane and a non-existant version continues to wail on Aqua.
Click to jump to: Battle 67; Battle 68 ; Battle 69; Battle 70.
|
||
|
Battle #66: Limbo Cometh July 19, 2000Setting: Doompuff Death Desert Player: Mike [Record: 17-9-5] Last Battle: Run vs. "Mirage" How long have we been wandering in this stupid desert Haunter? Ally HAUNTER begins COUNTING! Ally HAUNTER says a little over two weeks now! Just great, we’ve been wandering lost…I barely have enough water, got attacked by a skull, and was chased by…one of those things… *shudders* Ally HAUNTER says it could be worse! I see only one way that’s possible, and that’s if that %^*-&#^@ Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of &#^@*$! Doom was still around. Ally HAUNTER says that there are other ways! Ally HAUNTER points! MIKE looks! Oh boy… Just what I need. Expected out here too. ZOMBIES are slowly LURCHING at MIKE and HAUNTER! Do they want to fight? ZOMBIES don’t want to fight! Really? ZOMBIES want to tear you LIMB from LIMB and eat your BRAINS! That’s worse. I take it I can resist though. GO MAGIKARP! Go! MAGIKARP! Earthquake! MAGIKARP used EARTHQUAKE! ZOMBIES fell over! Ha! ZOMBIES got back up! Uh-oh. Flamethrower! MAGIKARP used FLAMETHROWER! ZOMBIES caught on FIRE! FLAMING ZOMBIES continue to advance! Thunder!! MAGIKARP used THUNDER! THUNDER missed ZOMBIES! …and hit a TREE! Oh shi… TREE is dead though! Ok. Magikarp return! Go Charmeleon! MAGIKARP, return! The enemy’s decaying! Get’m CHARMELEON! Fire spin! CHARMELEON used FIRE SPIN! FIRE on ZOMBIES began to SPIN giving them an even more MENACING appearance! Um…Fire Blast! CHARMELEON used FIRE BLAST! FIRE was BLASTED! Great… Some ZOMBIES exploded! Ok…Charmeleon, maximize! CHARMELEON can’t use MAXIMIZE! All right then…Charmeleon, return! You’re up again Magikarp! Go! MAGIKARP! Use…um…Solar Beam! MAGIKARP used SOLAR BEAM! A few more ZOMBIES exploded! ZOMBIE touched MAGIKARP! What? MAGIKARP is evolving! Oh, I get my own Gyarados now? MAGIKARP evolved to…DEATHKARP! NOOOO!!! WE’RE OVER THAT WHOLE DOOMPUFF THING!!!! Would MIKE prefer DEAD KARP? Uh…no…Deathkarp is fine… Ally HAUNTER used NIGHT SHADE! More ZOMBIES exploded! Ok, let’s run! MIKE and HAUNTER ran away! ZOMBIES slowly burn away into ASH! Er...ASHES! Hmm. NARRATOR will be lenient and call this a TIE! Meanwhile, the Evil Mammy of Black Version has invaded and set up several camps. Now he plans to launch an attack on the remains of Saffron City from staging grounds in Cerulean and the edge of the Doompuff Death Desert. How many HACs can the main characters defeat before running away? Or meeting Mammy himself?
The third Aqua Version Fanfic takes place about here. Click to read, "Under Attack!"
Battle #67: Chainsaw Chanseys August 14, 2000 Battle #68: Escapee’s Flight Gotta get away…dang HACs everywhere… HAC MOB appeared! Ah geez… HAC MOB says come peacefully and the injuries you sustain will be minor! …relatively! Look! It’s Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man! HAC MOB turns to look! …well, some HACs turn to look, other HACs jump for COVER! Haha! Suckers! ERIC used RUN! ERIC is running! Later, ERIC has managed to escape! Whew that was close. Now for… ERIC pulls out MEDICINE! …those cool cherry-flavored feel-good pills those doctors put me on. HAC appeared! Uh-oh. Wait a MINUTE! NARRATOR never saw ERIC take PILLS before! Really? Well, um…call it a plot hole… PLOT HOLE appeared! HAC fell into the limbo of IN-CONTINUITY and died! NARRATOR uses PLOT-TAPE! PLOT was TAPED together! …that much is obvious to any visitor of this version… ACK!!! ERIC is out of MEDICINE! Uh-oh…it’s never good when I run out of medicine… When was the LAST TIME? About a year ago or so. AH, before AQUA VERSION started! Of course, I’m using that plot tape too ya know. I better get to a store and get some soda. If I get enough caffeine it usually cancels out the effects for a while. Hopefully it’ll be long enough to get more medicine. What happens if ERIC doesn’t get more MEDICINE in time? I get…well, weird ERIC is WEIRD! I mean, weird by my standards. !?! NARRATOR is AFRAID! Which way to the nearest 7-11 or whatever narrator? NARRATOR points way to nearest CONVENIENCE STORE! Ok, must…get…soda!! …need…caffeine!! ERIC is shaking! It’s withdraw…dip….*shake-shake* There it is!! STORE is surrounded by HACs! I…DON’T CARE! Arbok, Royal Kingler, Jigglypuff, come on! We’re storming that store! ERIC sent out POKéMON! HEAD HAC steps up! HEAD HAC wants ID! Here’s your ID! ERIC used CAFFEINE WITHDRAW INDUCED BERSERKER! It’s super dismembering! Enemy HEAD HAC fainted! NARRATOR is amazed! NARRATOR had NO IDEA that ERIC had it in him! *crazed laughing* ah-ha-ha…you’ve just never seen me in...heeheehee…this mood… AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 15 HACS appear! 15 HACS want to fight! HA! NARRATOR bets ERIC can’t handle THEM! OUT OF MY WAY NOW! GRR! ROYAL KINGLER used CASTRATION! One enemy HAC is NEUTRALIZED! …and NEUTERED! EEEE…brutal. I guess I know the gender now. …though, it’s kind of like a female Mr. Mime or Geodude. JIGGLYPUFF used BLIZZARD! One enemy HAC is frozen solid! ARBOK is worried about attacking HACs! …especially around the FACE! BLAAAAAAAHH!!! FIGHT COWARD!!!!! BLEEE-EEAAA-AAAAHHH!!!! ARBOK is disturbed! …so is NARRATOR! ARBOK used ACID! HAC melted into a gross puddle of molten PLASTIC and MAKE-UP! Take this ya dumb HAC!!! ERIC is repeatedly smashing HAC’s skull with his OWN! …looks painful! …for the HAC! Hey, you loser Pokémon do something! YEEEEEAAAARRRGGAAAHHHH!!!! ROYAL KINGLER called in the ROYAL KINGLER FORCES! ROYAL KINGLER FORCES and HEAVILY ARMED CLOWNS begin to do battle! ERIC jumped off HAC! SSSSOOOOOOODAAAAAA!!!!!!! ERIC runs into STORE! ERIC grabs 6-pack of DR. PEPPER and downs it all in ONE GO! Ahhh…that’s better. I feel ok. …though, it’s too late!! NARRATOR is worried… BBLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAA!!!!!! UHH-AAHHH-EEEE-AAAAHHH-EEEE!! ERIC’s eyes flash weird COLORS as he…goes TARZAN! Look out world!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! …whoo! Shiny thingy!! NARRATOR sees ERIC did have a good reason for being put in the INSTITUTION! Battle #69: Jumping Around August 18, 2000Set in: Aqua Version Player: Eric [Record: 19-13-8] (last battle: Win vs. HACs, Battle #68) ERIC is walking along! …oddly enough, BACK towards the HAC armies! Huh? I know not of this Eric you speak of. I am Puffzan, Lord of Jigglypuffs. o.O ERI…err, PUFFZAN… Lord of Jigglypuffs. …right… Hey, who’s that? SOMEONE appeared! SOMEONE appears to be at work at a COMPUTER! Who is it though? Puffzan demands to know! SOMEONE was renamed RACHAEL! Hello human female. I am Puffzan, Lord of Jigglypuffs. What are you doing? RACHAEL raises EYEBROW! RACHAEL: Well, I’m hacking into Fanboy’s Pokémon storage system to extract some of his catches for use myself. I didn’t beat out a major character to return to life to just disappear into the background. You associate with the evil Fanboy! I, Kragnus, shall defeat you in glorious combat! RACHAEL gives ERIC extremely odd look! RACHAEL and NARRATOR thought ERIC was going by PUFFZAN! Ah, Puffzan, a good friend of mine. Now die, ally of Fanboy!! ERIC wants to fight! These two Pokémon are entirely different types! (Insane and Extra…) RACHAEL: I AM NOT AN EXTRA!! ERIC zips around! Position 1: All right you two, I want a clean fight. Let’s get it on! Position 2: I’m rootin’ for ya Kragus! Position 3: I’m takin’ you down! RAAHHH!!! ERIC jumps RACHAEL! Odd-looking WRESTLING MATCH begins! NARRATOR will be leaving now… Player: Ryoga [Record: 2-2-1] (last appeared in Fanfic #3)RYOGA is trudging through GREENERY looking like he’s been in a FIGHT! Didn’t you read the last fanfic? I just did fight my way through about 50 HACs. Not much help from Mike I might add. DEATHKARP is flopping around pathetically trying to follow RYOGA! (*Side note: DEATHKARP is following RYOGA to get to a TOWN and help with organizing an ANTI-HAC STRIKE FORCE!) Oi… Are you even trying to keep up? DEATHKARP is doing the best it can! Do I have to carry you? DEATHKARP appears thoughtful a second! DEATHKARP says that it isn’t necessary, but it would sure make things easier! Fine, fine…here. DEATHKARP flops onto RYOGA’s backpack! Ok, let’s get going. Yeesh…I feel like crap. NARRATOR believes that might have something to do with the fact that RYOGA only has 3HP remaining! Don’t remind me. DEATHKARP taps RYOGA’s head! Huh? What do you want? DEATHKARP points SCYTHE in direction of NEAREST TOWN! Oh, thanks. RYOGA begins heading back to HAC CAMP! DEATHKARP smacks RYOGA over the head with SCYTHE! What? DEATHKARP says that was the wrong way! DEATHKARP points again! Oh, ok. Sorry. RYOGA begins walking in almost the right direction! DEATHKARP sighs! DEATHKARP figures it will have to do! Player: Blaine [Record: 0-2-1] (last battle: Loss vs. Eric & Mike Battle #15)EXPERIENCED POKéMON TRAINERS are doing BATTLE with the HEAVILY ARMED CLOWNS! Thanks for the fill-in narrator. We don’t need you here mucking things up! NARRATOR notes that the BATTLE looks indecisive at the moment! Well, yeah, things could go either way at the moment, but I’m confident of our ensuing victory. NARRATOR looks around! NARRATOR sees ULTRADOS tearing apart LARGE NUMBERS of HACs! Heh, best trade I ever made. Can’t believe that stupid kid let that thing go. SABRINA and her KADABRA seem to be doing well! Of course they are, but let’s not get into why… Agreed! GARY is doing BATTLE with another MEGA-HAC! Huh? Oh, that loud-mouth… ELITE FOUR and MOST GYM LEADERS are in the fight! NARRATOR sees no sign of ASH! Of course not!! Yeesh, why would we take him along on something important? NARRATOR sees your POINT! Of cour… Hey! Magmar look out! Charizard, cover fire! …I hate having all the Pokémon out at once… BATTLE is intense! CROWD’s excitement is building! Don’t go there! MMGHAM appeared! Huh? Yay! LORELEI: Cool! OTHERS: *sigh* BROCK: All right, now we’ll show those HACs who’s boss! DAISY: Yeah, like, Macho here will, like, totally kick ass left and right, like totally. TRAINER’s morale greatly rose! NARRATOR would hate to do this if it had a shred of decency in it! Uh…I don’t like where this is going… GARY: Me neither MR. MACHO GUNG-HO ACTION MAN pulls out MEGA-HAC weapon! SABRINA: I really don’t like where this is going… BROCK: I’d say this could quite nicely fit into the "bad things" category. MMGHAM looks at AQUA TRAINERS evilly and cocks weapon! Uh-oh… BROCK: I hate being right sometimes… SEVERAL ALLIES request new shorts! Player: Eric…or Puffzan? Or is it Kragus? Ah heck, the nut! [Record: 19-13-8] (last Battle, this one)Ok, so the girl escaped. Big deal. NARRATOR notices it looks like you got EXPLENITIVE SLAPPED! Ack! Don’t go telling people that! Shut up foo’! WHO is ERIC talking to? What? Can’t you see ‘dis foo’ here? Hey! I resent that! All right people, enough! We’ve got to come up with a plan of action! NARRATOR would like to point out that ERIC is zipping around while conversing with himself! I say we run for the hills, and hide out and hope for the best! Bah, we listen to you way too much! I say it’s time we stand and fight! Yes, we shall defeat those HACs in glorious battle! Puffzan agree! Puffzan say we go down and rain down the Jiggly Death on the foul clowns! You’re weird. That no way to talk to Puffzan, Lord of Jigglypuffs! You want me to get Jiggly on your ass? Go ahead and try it! ERIC bites his ARM and begins punching HIMSELF in the HEAD! Break it up! Break it up! ERIC stops doing battle with himself! All right, looks like the consensus is going for defending Aqua Version. I still say we run. I’d rather join the HACs myself. ERIC punches himself violently! Shut up you! I go with the idea we go bust ‘dem foo’ HACs up! Yeah! Death to invaders! You say that about everything! No…sometimes I want to maim the opponent rather than kill him. Big difference. DOOM! You never have anything constructive to say! Rabid…puff! Where did he come from anyway? I really don’t know… NARRATOR is going to leave before…OWW!! Too late… NARRATOR is leaving anyway! Player: Mike [Record: 17-9-6] (last appearance, Fanfic #3)MIKE is in a JAIL CELL with HAUNTER and CHARMELEON! This has been one sucky month. HACs outside laugh! HACs say it’s only going to get worse! I’m not surprised… HACs direct your attention to a NEWS BULLETIN being put out by MAMMY! MAMMY: Hello citizens of Aqua Version. I’m sure by now you’ve all learned of the invasion from Black Version. I’ve set this broadcast up to override all channels, to let you know how our little war is going. Well, guess what? You’re all doomed! Nee-nee-nah-nee-neer! Gee, he’s not gloating or anything is he? MAMMY drones on! MAMMY: These pictures come from various cities we’ve captured… PICTURE changes to SHOTS of SAFFRON, CERULEAN, and some small no-name TOWNS! So he’s got a few towns, big deal… MAMMY: We’ve also captured several of your major characters, including Mike, Haunter, and the Dark Warrior! Huh? Hey, that’s me! MIKE waves to CAMERA! MAMMY: Stop that you! Awww… MAMMY: Anyway, your one pitiful attempt at an offensive has failed! SCREEN pans over to HACs corralling PRISONERS! Wow, they got Sabrina. Surprised that was allowed to happen. WEBMASTER used LIGHTNING BOLT! VOICE from the sky even louder than the NARRATOR’s booms out! "SHUT UP ALREADY!" …ok… HACs manhandle various GYM LEADERS into CELL! One HAC shoves SABRINA! SABRINA: I’m going, I’m going, no need to push. HAC shoves SABRINA again! This time with gun barrel! SABRINA used POWERS! HAC flies away! …into AMMO SHED! …which EXPLODES! …HAC dies! SABRINA: I told him not to push me… SABRINA walks into CELL! HACs allow her to do it with out being shoved and prodded in! Heh, weird… MAMMY: The capture of these trainers is owned in part, to someone I bet you thought you could trust. Huh? Did Eric join the HACs? No, wait…no one trusts him… MAMMY: This guy was a lot of trouble for us at first, but now he’s going to be total hell for you! Say hello to your former hero! MMGHAM walks on screen and salutes MAMMY! ACK!!!! MAMMY: That’s right! Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man works for us now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! AQUA VERSION’s morale greatly fell! &^%$ING HELL!!! WE’RE ALL &^%#ED!!!!! HACs outside CELL grin evilly! Player: Deutshläunder [Record: 1-1-0] (last battle, was in Aqua War Even #2)DEUTSHLäUNDER looks disturbed! ACK!! NO!! It’s da voice again!! NARRATOR strikes FEAR into the HEARTS of minor characters! Vhat you vant anyvay?! NARRATOR realized you were forgotten in the FANFIC, so decided to check up on you! And torture me a bit more, ves? Yeah, so? NARRATOR wants to know what your plans are about the HAC invasion! One of zose damn clowns tried to eat me! I ‘ventually won when I ripped his nose off an’ shoved it down ‘is throat. DEUTSHLäUNDER is brutal! Yeah, so vhat? After what I’ve been through here I have every right to snap! DEUTSHLäUNDER is a wuss! Most POKéBATTLES characters have been through a LOT more! Ah, shut up vou!! Two HACs appeared! Oh no…not again… Only one character in all of Aqua Version had met with any sort of success against the HACs, and now he’s been reprogrammed to fight for Hammy! Will anyone not already captured by the HACs stand a chance against MMGHAM? Heck, could Mike, Haunter, Dark Warrior, Ryoga, Eric, Sabrina, and any other Aqua characters I forgot to mention defeat MMGHAM all together? Probably not… So, what will Aqua Version do now? Things look bad! Battle #70: Mega HAC Pity Da Foo’ August 24, 2000Set in: Somewhere in Aqua Version Player: Eric, MHE [Record: 19-14-8] Last appearance, implied loss vs. Rachael, otherwise just acted weird: (Battle 69) NARRATOR hasn’t been cruel enough to ERIC recently!
Doom…rabid…*snarf* *gulp* *chomp* *chew-chew* ERIC is…eating…RAW HAC! Evil, puff…*gulp* NARRATOR does 180 and LEAVES! Player: Deutshläunder [Record: 1-1-0] Last appearance: Eh, showed up in Battle 69Oh boy…vhat now?
|
||
