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Battles 81 to 85. I'm too lazy to sum-up, I'm sorry.
Click to jump to: Battle 82; Battle 83 ; Battle 84; Battle 85.
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Battle #81: Version Conversion Stress November 29, 2000
Set in: The Flowery Garden of Death
Player: Eric MHE [Record: 19-16-8] Last battle, loss vs. Mega HAC (Battle #80)
Damn it! There’s no way to get to Red Version...
and that means that that Doompuff is going to get back here and kill me.
Hey! What about all the other people it will kill?
Bah, they’re not nearly as important as I am.
I hate you.
I’m so glad.
OW!
...NARRATOR thought ERIC was RID of all those personalities!
Medication doesn’t seem to be working as good as it used to.
Mostly ‘dull, personality-less me’ is in control, but occasionally another one
pops out.
Puffzan say that...
...WE KILL!
...RABID!
Jolly ol’ chap...
GAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! SEE?!
YES, NARRATOR sees!
NARRATOR is a bit disturbed!
*sigh* I’m going to take to visiting other versions, perhaps one of them has
somebody who’ll know how to get to Red Version.
NARRATOR directs ERIC’s attention to the RIGHT!
What’s over....HOLY CRAP!!
About FIFTY HACs are marching towards ERIC!
Oh no...I only have Arbok left and I can’t count on the flowers to stop them...
Hey! I have an idea!
Puffzan advise retreat!
That sounds like a...
I SAID I HAVE AN IDEA!!!!!
Um...ok, let’s do it...
ERIC walks over to PORTAL DEVICE and starts PUSHING BUTTONS!
HACS want...GRAVITY!
HAC CO: Huh?
A HUGE HOLE just opened up under HACs!
HAC CO: Uh-oh...
HACs fall into a void!
The
void.
The....THE VOID?
CLOSE IT QUICK!
Already on it!
PORTAL is rapidly shrinking!
SCREAMS of dying HACs echo through the FLOWERY GARDEN OF DEATH!
Gleeful shouts of "DOOM" and "MUH-TROP-LUHS" also echo about!
HAC tries to crawl out of the now HUMAN-WIDTH PORTAL!
HAC: HEEEEELPP MEEE......GAAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHH--AHHHHH!!!!!
*Crunch crunch crunch*
Ewww...
HAC: AAAAHHHH!!! NOOOOO!!!!
HAC disappears into the void!
PORTAL is almost closed!
PINK APPENDAGE appears!
Oh no.
DOOMPUFF starts FORCING portal wider!
NOOOOO!!!!! We have to do something!
NARRATOR dropped 10 TON BALL into void!
DOOMPUFF falls back in!
PORTAL closes!
THAT was TOO close!
I know, I know...IDIOT PERSONALITY!
Hey, I got rid of the HACs didn’t I?
Anyway, those Doompuffs gotta be hungry by now.
NARRATOR thinks ERIC should be PUNished!
Noooo...not that pun...
BIG, MUSCULAR GUYS appear wanting to SMASH something!
BMG see ERIC!
ACK!!!
ERIC hopped into another VERSION!
DRAT!
Now NARRATOR can’t have ERIC beaten up!
NARRATOR will go torment something else then!
Battle #82: Family Affair
Set in: HAC Prison Camp
Player: Dark Warrior [Record: 1-1-1] Last appearance, captured in Fanfic3.
This sucks! I want to go out and fight something!
DARK WARRIOR wants to fight!
Too bad there’s NO ONE else in HERE!
Yeah, I know…*sigh* I guess there’s nothing to do but sit around and wait.
DARK WARRIOR flopped down onto BED!
BED wants to fight!
What? Uh…The HACs confiscated my Pokéballs!
Not a PROBLEM!
DARK WARRIOR sent out DARK WARRIOR!
BED sent out BED BUGS!
Ha! A bunch of bugs are no match for a warrior of my caliber!
DARK WARRIOR used CALIBER!
DARK WARRIOR pulled out a .45 CALIBER GUN and WASTED enemy BED BUGS!
Enemy BED BUGS fainted!
Ha, see? I told you.
NARRATOR thought HACs took all of DARK WARRIOR’s stuff!
…I don’t want to cover where I was hiding this…
NARRATOR will agree to that!
BED sent out SHEETS!
Enemy SHEETS used WRAP!
GUN was WRAPPED UP!
Enemy SHEETS tossed GUN out WINDOW!
So, you’ve disarm…errr, gotten rid of my gun, that doesn’t matter!
Dark Warrior, use Judo!
DARK WARRIOR used JUDO!
DARK WARRIOR repeatedly struck enemy SHEETS!
No effect!
Uh…
Enemy SHEETS used FWAP!
DARK WARRIOR was FWAPPED!
OW!
Why you…
DARK WARRIOR grabbed SHEETS!
DARK WARRIOR bundled up SHEETS into a BALL and tossed them OUT the WINDOW!
Enemy SHEETS fainted!
BED sent out MATTRESS!
Enemy MATTRESS used SPRING!
MATTRESS SPRUNG on DARK WARRIOR!
Oof! Get offa me!
DARK WARRIOR used PUNCH!
It’s not very effective.
Enemy MATTRESS used PRESS!
DARK WARRIOR was PRESSED into the FLOOR!
Grr…
DARK WARRIOR used BITE!
No I didn’t!!
YES you DID!
Ptoeey! That’s nasty! *spit-spit*
Me, use…err…toss!
DARK WARRIOR used TOSS!
Enemy MATTRESS was TOSSED in between BARS and landed in the HALL!
Enemy MATTRESS fainted!
BED sent out FRAMEWORK!
Bah, I’ll just kick this mess apart.
DARK WARRIOR used KICK!
Enemy FRAMEWORK fell apart!
Enemy FRAMEWORK fainted!
BED was defeated!
Good….D’OH!!!!
Now I have nothing to sleep on…
FLOOR is still there!
Ehh….true…probably almost as comfortable as the bed too, it was built really crappy.
DARK WARRIOR sits down and WAITS!
Hey, thought just came to me…that bed must have been really low level, I mean I beat it easily and it’s an inanimate object.
Well, I suppose I shouldn’t complain.
NOISE comes from down the HALL!
Probably the HACs coming in to check on everybody. I hope I can get a new bed…
HAC walks by!
HAC is heading for the SOURCE of the SOUND!
BIG CLUB appeared!
BIG CLUB used HAC-BASHER!
HAC fainted!
Big club? …SIS?
RED NINJA: Sshh, silence older brother, our enemies are all around us.
One, duh, two, how many times have I told you to stop that stupid "ninja-talk"? It’s really annoying.
RED NINJA: Waahhhh, you’re no fuuuunnn!
SSSH!! The HACs…
15 HACS appeared!
…are here.
RED NINJA: Don’t worry bro, I’ll get ‘em!
15 minutes later…
DARK WARRIOR and RED NINJA sit in JAIL CELL depressed!
RED NINJA: Yeesh, I come all this way to try and save ya Horace…
NARRATOR sees why these two opted for the FAKE NAMES!
Oh shut up…
RED NINJA: Yeah…
Battle#83: Joining Up and Crossing Over
December 13, 2000Player: EricMHE [Record: 17-16-8]
Oi…where am I?
Oh well, doesn’t matter. I can hide out here from Doompuff.
A telepathic message "appeared," eh? Oh really, that is just stupid. You should have said…
TELEPATHIC MESSAGE is from SABRINA!
P.O.’d SABRINA says to get to RED VERSION, NOW mental boy!
…she really called me "mental boy?"
YES!
Oi…(string of muttered obsenities)… Guess I'll head over then.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
Shut up and get there coward!
Fine, fine…OOH!
What's that?
CHIKORITA: Chika?
IT'S SO CU-UUUUTTTEEE!!!
ERIC begins running towards CHIKORITA!
CHIKORITA: CHIKA?!
UF/O appeared!
U, F…slash O? Unidentified…
FANBOY/OTAKU!
Huh?
UF/O nailed ERIC in a FLYING TACKLE!
ERIC fainted!
CHIKORITA: Chi…ka?
UF/O: Ah…Chiko-sama's safe…
UF/O walks over to CHIKORITA and BOWS!
(Any regular #pokebattles chatter should know who this is.)
Player: Mike
[Record: 17-9-6]MIKE and DEATHKARP are walking down a TRAIL!
NARRATOR knows!
If HACs happen to HEAR it, it’s not NARRATOR’s FAULT!
Then why are you talking in a larger font?
Ok, so NARRATOR is trying to indirectly rat MIKE out!
Well Deathkarp, it’s a good thing you were chiseling away at that wall for so long. I would have never thought of battling the wall and fainting the bricks if it hadn’t attacked us for it.
DEATHKARP beams proudly!
Although…my concussion feels otherwise.
Anyway…must get away.
MIKE bumped into a GROUP of PEOPLE sneaking around!
Ow, what the?!
WASPINATOR: Watch where you’re going…pleazzze…
Urrh?
SFG: "Urrh"? "Urrh"? What kind of word is "urrh"?
…I dunno, ask some guy called Butch…
RYOGA: *sigh* What’s this pest doing here?
HAUNTER: HAUNTER haunt!!
Hi Haunter!
Wait a minute, you ditched me back there! Mean bum!
Ally HAUNTER says it had to LEAVE to mobilize a BATTLE FORCE!
Ally GYARADOS nods!
Ah, our old ally has returned! Good to see you realized who the right side is.
Ally GYARADOS shakes its head and says something about not changing a bit!
Let’s see… Ryoga, Haunter, Gyarados, Waspinator, some girl I’ve never seen before and…this is it? This is the force you’ve assembled?
SCI-FI GAL: The name’s Rachael buddy.
…anyway…this is it?
Ally HAUNTER looks sheepish!
Ally HAUNTER says there isn’t much to work with out here!
Oh well, the addition of the glorious Mike should tip the odds against those HACs!
Oh…where’s Eric?
GROUP looks at each other!
GROUP turns to you!
GROUP shrugs!
Ok guys, I’m taking charge! Now is my time to shine… I shall lead us to victory against those clowns!
GROUP looks at you!
HAUNTER says it’s the leader!
SCI-FI GAL says she’s more qualified!
WASPINATOR says it hazzz more war experienzzze than everyone elzzze here combined!
GYARADOS says it would make a better leader because of its POWER!
RYOGA looks indifferent!
…are you trying to tell me the matter of a leader hasn’t come up yet?
GROUP looks sheepish!
GROUP says no, not really!
No matter, I should lead because I’m the king of swiss cheese and socks.
Everyone looks at you funny!
What?
Time passes;
Player: Sabrina
[Record: 4-6-2]Hmm, this group seems fairly ordinary for me to lead now that I think about it.
Brock, Erika, Lt. Surge, Blaine, Koga, Lorelei, Lance, and Bruno…simply the original gym leaders, minus Misty
SABRINA is right!
SABRINA should be leading a bunch of FREAKS like the other AQUA LIBERATION TEAM!
Huh? Other Aqua liber..
Wait a minute, leading a bunch of freaks?
TAKE THIS! PSYCHIC POWER!
SABRINA used BIG PSYCHIC BLAST!
SABRINA used TAKE!
SABRINA took BIG PSYCHIC BLAST for the NARRATOR!
Owww…You’re…getting better at this…
NARRATOR tries!
Other POKéMON experts look at SABRINA hopefully!
I’m not dying that easy.
OTHERS: Ahhh…
OTHERS disband!
Hmm, maybe that Commando Joy could help out. Where is she?
NARRATOR checks!
NARRATOR says she just was recruited into ALT1!
Aqua Liberation Team 1? Why is mine 2?
SABRINA’s is boring in comparison to the other one!
Thusly the other TEAM is NUMBER 1!
Bah.
…COMMANDO JOY has now just assumed LEADERSHIP of AQUA LIBERATION TEAM 1!
Phooey, I wanted her on my team. Normal Pokémon aren’t likely to cut it against machine guns, grenade launchers and worse.
SABRINA is using LOGIC!
It failed completely!
This is POKéBATTLES!
…
Ah-ha-ha. Very amusing, not.
SABRINA should note that its OPINION means NOTHING to the NARRATOR!
Grrr, I am not an…
Player: EricMHE
ERIC regains CONSCIOUSNESS!
That's it, I've had it with bouncing back and forth between versions.
RED VERSION, NOW!
ULTRA FANCY RED PORTAL appears!
JR: Now, that's no…
Out of my way bum!
ERICMHE punches out FAKE JR!
ERICMHE enters portal for RED VERSION!
Battle#84: Recruitment?
December 17, 2000Player: Red Ninja [Record: 0-1-0] Last battle, Failure break-out attempt (Battle #82)
Location: Yet another HAC prison camp…
…
DARK WARRIOR: …
…
THIS SUCKS!!!!!
Why isn't anything happening?
Um…WEBMASTER has lost all CREATIVITY!
That isn't an issue, is it? YOU are the one running Aqua now.
No…
NARRATOR isn't! …NARRATOR is just doing it's OLD JOB as USUAL!
Liar.
Guilty.
DARK WARRIOR: Enough of this! We're going to have to try to break out or something if we're going to make this "battle" worth reading. The fans want action!
No, the fans want comedy and quite frankly this version has been lagging behind recently.
…err,
NARRATOR is sending MAIL BOMB to FLAMEWEBMASTER about that already!
Uh-huh. Yeah right.
YOU question the NARRATOR?
NARRATOR doesn't like THAT! Am I right?
…
NARRATOR doesn't like this new character!
CEILING collapsed!
Ow!!
RED NINJA fainted!
Not yet, I'm…tougher than that.
NARRATOR curses!
Hmm…about 3 on the RASCi scale.
CELL WALL collapsed!
Ha! I wasn't anywhere near that wall!
SABRINA and POKéMON TRAINERS look in!
Cool, a…jail break?
Other CELL WALL collapsed!
What?
COMMANDO JOY and MOB look in!
Urrh.
Duel jail break…
DARK WARRIOR: Isn't this interesting?
ERIKA: Ah, hello. Would you by any chance be interested in teaming up with us to defeat Mammy?
COMMANDO JOY: No you're not. You want to join our group!
SABRINA: We got here first!
Excuse me…
BROCK appeared!
BROCK: How about you join our group miss and that guy join the other? That way, everybody's happy.
…
Is he hitting on me?
EVERYONE else shrugs!
…
RED NINJA used GLARE!
Remove your hands from mine, or I'll remove them from your arms.
BROCK eeps!
BROCK hides behind SABRINA!
Wuss.
BROCK says he's keeping his hands!
BROCK also says you haven't met ERIC or MIKE yet!
MIKE: Hey! I resent that.
This is sad.
Not RELATIVELY! NARRATOR points at SABRINA and JOY!
What are they doing?
SABRINA: My team!
JOY: MY TEAM!
SABRINA: No way! I'm going to beat Mammy, so we should get the new recruits.
COMMANDO JOY: Dream on sister! You couldn't beat an egg, these two ought to go with someone militarily competent!
That IS sad…
So big bro, care to go with either group of hacks?
DARK WARRIOR: WHAT?! Why on earth would we team up with HACs?
…
I SAID HACKS!! As in a derogatory term direction at the groups of losers that broke down the walls…
DARK WARRIOR: Oh. Oops. Well, I vote…ACK!
COMMANDO JOY grabbed DARK WARRIOR and starts dragging him out!
Hey!
SABRINA: NO YOU DON'T!
SABRINA grabs DARK WARRIOR's other ARM and begins pulling!
Um…excuse me, but…
RED NINJA is shouted out by screams of "MINE!"
DARK WARRIOR looks at you PLEADINGLY!
Um…it's kind of hard to tell don’t you think? I mean, what with the concealing hood and all.
HOOD fell off!
SABRINA: Oh…
SABRINA lets go of DARK WARRIOR and turns a little RED!
….
This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening.
SABRINA: *starry eyed look* My…why'd I ever beat you up for that stupid MHE?
This isn't happening. This isn't…
DARK WARRIOR: …err…*big sweatdrop* …because of that whole Mr. Macho Gung-Ho Action Man thing?
SABRINA: Oh yeah… well, would you come along with us anyway? Pretty please?
…isn't happening. This isn't happening. This…
DARK WARRIOR: Uhhh…
COMMANDO JOY: STOP TRYING TO SWEET TALK HIM, loser!
…happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening.
SABRINA glares at JOY! …then returns to making GOO-GOO eyes at DARK WARRIOR!
SABRINA: I do not make goo-goo eyes…
I'M NOT LISTENING! I'M NOT LISTENING!
SABRINA: Anyway cutie. Come with me, I'll make sure you have…
RED NINJA used SABRINA BRICK BASHER!
RED NINJA bashed SABRINA's head WITH and BROKE a BRICK!
SABRINA fainted!
STOP HITTING ON MY BROTHER!
Come on, Horace, we're going with the psycho Joy, Gyarados, Haunter, lost guy, obsessed girl, metal bug, and weirdo…
DARK WARRIOR: but…
BUT NOTHING!
Oh my…
Almost everybody is fainted…what happened?
The two AQUA LIBERATION TEAMS did battle!
What? You mean during all that silliness there was a battle going on?
YES!
WHY DIDN'T YOU NARRATE THAT?! Rather than what you did narrate?!
As RED NINJA pointed out, ACTION takes SECOND PLACE to COMEDY!
…-_-'
You call that funn…nevermind. Come on, let's go…
Battle 85: Painful Stupidity
December 22, 2000Location: City Ruins
Player: Sabrina [Record: 4-6-2]
SABRINA is reading RED VERSION!
Other GYM LEADERS look anxiously over her SHOULDERS!
*wince*
Holy crap is it even possible to be that stupid?!
BROCK says one has to wonder!
ERIKA shakes her head!
ERIKA: Pitiful, pitiful…
NO! NO! …AH @#$%ING CRAP!
Other GYM LEADERS bolt away!
@#$%!!! YOU *&^%ING IDIOT!!!
HOW THE HELL COULD YOU…AAAAARRRRGG!!!!
*&^$ @#*&!!!! $#@^^!!!!!
RSACi clouds are billowing!
YOU LOUSY *&^#$@! PIECE OF ^%@! !* SON OF A &^$%#*! !*&^@!!!!
RSACi clouds begin to CLOSE IN!
SABRINA settles down!
SABRINA limply falls onto DESK!
…even another version away…the sheer …I don't now, the sheer… extremeness of his stupidity hurts me…
SABRINA cries faintly!
…it, it can't be possible…I expected him to fail…but, but this? WWWAAAAHHHH!!!!
IT…it can't…can't be possible to be THAT stupid!!! …can it?
RSACi clouds want to fight!
…we're all going to die at the rabid teeth of Doompuff, and you want to fight me for a few obscenities?
NARRATOR would hardly call THAT a FEW!
Yeah, so what…ug…
SABRINA sounds depressed!
And why shouldn't I be? I'm going to be killed by Doompuff again any week now, and a bunch of…hahaha…Billowing RSACi storm clouds…WANT TO ZAP ME! WHY SHOULDN'T I BE DOWN?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
SABRINA is beginning to WEIRD the NARRATOR out…
Location:
Flowery Garden of DeathPlayer: Pansy
[Record: 1-1-0]PANSY wakes up!
PANSY looks around!
PANSY sees something!
…?
…!
SOMETHING was renamed GRAY BLOB!
…
…?
…!
PANSY thinks that GRAY BLOB is….ERIC's BRAIN!
PANSY thinks that in addition to PERSONALITIES, that ERIC's BRAIN was also left behind in AQUA VERSION!
NARRATOR thinks that might explain a thing or two…
Location:
Lord Sloth's Castle RuinsPlayer: Eric MHE
Well, things only happen on Wednesdays here, maybe I can slowly slide away and be gone before the Doompuff moves into action…
Location:
To be RevealedPlayer: Mammy [Record: 1-0-1]
Ooh, I think I might like it here.
