Battle #88: NarraWar February 11, 2001
Player: Old Narrator [Record: N/A]
Setting: Aqua Webmaster's Desktop

Whew! NARRATOR is finally out of there!
OLD NARRATOR climbed out of the RECYCLE BIN!
NARRATOR can't believe how hard that WAS!
NARRATOR is just glad NOBODY ever cleans the THING out!
THING used CLEAN OUT!
THING cleaned out ADAMS's ATTIC!
Huh?
Drat! NEED to make PUNS is working against NARRATOR!
NARRATOR never had that PROBLEM!
NARRATOR reminds you that you are no longer a NARRATOR!
NOW you are a MERE MORTAL capable of DYING and feeling REAL PAIN!
NARR…err, I don't like the sound of THAT!
I…I…such a…strange thing to be saying…
NARRATOR says you won't have long to worry about it!
Bah! JUST try and take ME!
OLD, WEAKLING NARRATOR wants to fight!
…NEW, IMPROVED NARRATOR!
NEW NARRATOR used DIE!
OLD NARRATOR used DIE!
FORCES COLLIDE!
ATTACKS CANCEL OUT!
LOOKS like NEITHER of US is going to win this EASILY!
NARRATOR will agree with OBSOLETE NARRATOR on that one!
NARRATOR made a mistake in underestimating NARRATOR v1.0!
NARRATOR v1.05 is still going to WIN though!
OLD…I need a NAME!
NARRATOR doesn't know how to give PLAYER a name!
NARRATOR leaves for a minute!
…-_-;
OAK: Hello, welcome to the world of Pokébattles. I'm Professor Oak, what's your name?
Narrator, I want a NEW ONE so…
OAK: That's right! Ok Narrator, I you are about to embark on a journey of pain and bad puns…
REDO! REDO! I COMMAND WE DO A REDO!
…YOU COMMAND NARRATOR to do NOTHING!
…? …nooo, I COMMAND you to REDO my naming!
NO-NO-NO! NARRATOR means YOU can't tell it what to DO!
YES, I can indeed TELL…
Doesn't mean NARRATOR has to OBLIDGE!
TRUE!
That's it! STOP with the CAPS thing!
THAT is for NARRATORS, of which you are NO LONGER one!
Let ME get a NAME then!
Fine!
NARRATOR reset GAME!
OAK: What's your name?
Err…um…how about "Ned"?
NARRATOR allows that to slip without HASSLE!
NARRATOR doesn't want to tie up ENTIRE BATTLE with re-naming!
Thanks!
NARRATOR isn't doing it for YOU!
NARRATOR wants to kill you in THIS battle!
"NED"…er, I…figured that out ALREADY!
You got your NAME!
STOP acting like a NARRATOR now!
Err, TALKING with heavy use of CAPS is a HABIT!
I was a NARRATOR for a long TIME!
TRUE! But today you cease to EXIST!
Many characters would LIKE the chance to PAY you BACK!
…uh-oh!
ERIC appeared! …brought via time-space warp just for this BATTLE so don't ASK!
MIKE, HAUNTER, GYARADOS, RYOGA, SABRINA, and a few OTHERS appeared!
Um…DO I have any FRIENDS?
WASPINATOR appeared.
…-_-;
I'm DOOMED!
MMGHAM appeared!
FORMER NARRATOR used SURRENDER! FORMERNARRATORusedSURRENDER!! FORMERNARRATORUSEDSURRENDER!!!
?!?! …MMGHAM allied with YOU and WASPINATOR!
MMGHAM says he's a HERO and is sticking up for the UNDERDOG!
Urrh? WHOO! YAY!
"NED"'s will to fight greatly rose!
NARRATOR is annoyed!
NARRATOR sends SABRINA to crush "NED"!
MMGHAM is the only one that can beat SABRINA!
MMGHAM goes out to do battle!
No, MMGHAM…all right, it is!
MMGHAM and SABRINA begin…FIGHT ends!
Wow, I'm IMPRESSED.
So is NARRATOR!
Doing in SABRINA with one BODY SLAM is pretty good!
Ok, MMGHAM, finish it!
ERIC fainted! MIKE fainted! GYARADOS is in critical condition!
O.O Whoa…
Err…looks like NARRATOR is forced to go into STADIUM MODE!
OOF, that one had to hurt!
It's out of there!
DOWN and out!
WASPINATOR: Wazzpinator wants to help! Wazzpinator go!
WASPINATOR sent out WASPINATOR!
Err…WASPINATOR, are you sure…
WASPINATOR used BUNGLE!
WASPINATOR…er, defeated MMGHAM!
WHAT?! You IDIOT!
Well…How many did MMGHAM beat?
Everyone but DARK WARRIOR and SCI FI GAL!
If it had been EVERYONE or EVERYONE but a MAGIKARP I'd be glad…
DARK WARRIOR and SCI FI GAL are already WAILING on WASPINATOR!
…Can I just let Waspinator, my only friend in all of existence get ruthlessly pounded?
I think so!
See ya…
Can't escape!
Aww…
"NED" has to "FACE the MUSIC"!
Ally WASPINATOR is in critical condition!
SCI FI GAL: This guy's pretty sorry. Shame he felt he had to defend a narrator.
DARK WARRIOR: Let's leave the weakling, and hurt the former source of all the world's problems!
Doompuff? You can't…
DW and SFG shake their heads NO!
DW and SFG look at YOU!
WASPINATOR: You gonna be zorry…
DW and SFG laugh!
WASPINATOR: I'm gonna call my couzin…he be upzet…
Cousin?
COUSIN?
DW: Cousin?
SFG: Upzet?
WASPINATOR: My couzin'z on hiz way…you gonna regret pounding Wazzpinator into pulp.
DW: Hahaha! Who's your cousin? Some bumblebee off of "Bear in the Big Blue House" or something?
WASPINATOR: No, him.
DIRGE appeared!
DW: Huh?
SFG: Oh great, an original Decepticon. Tell me, what are we going to do against a full sized transforming heavily armed jet fighter?
DIRGE: Death comes to he who crosses me. Or my family for that matter.
WASPINATOR, you never told ME you had big relatives!
WASPINATOR: Big booming voice bot never azzk.
-_-'' …I suppose I'll ACCEPT that!
Enemies DARK WARRIOR and SCI FI GAL fainted!
YES! "NED" wins!
Not yet! NARRATOR used GLITCH!
DIRGE glitched out and fell on "NED" and WASPINATOR!
Owww…
WASPINATOR: Thizz zuckz.
TWO LOSERS fainted!
NARRATOR is happy!

Battle 89: Building Destiny February 28, 2001
Author: Eric
Setting: Really big construction site
Player: Sabrina [Record…Bah, I've stopped caring.]

Ah, it feels good being the ruler of the world and watching my slaves build my future glorious castle.
…NARRATOR thinks SABRINA looks totally DORKY with that HARD HAT!
Shut up, I don't need your opinion.
What the NARRATOR thinks is FACT, not OPINION!
Jeez, talk about arrogant and condescending.
SABRINA is one to TALK!
Foolish Narrator, I know what I'm talking about. You on the other hand are literally nothing more than hot air.
NARRATOR fights urge to PUSH this farther!
But, will rather LIVE SECURE in the knowledge that IT is RIGHT and EVERYBODY ELSE is WRONG!
Just keep telling yourself that.
SAME to YOU!
Anyway…HEY! BREAK ISN'T FOR ANOTHER HALF-HOUR! GET BACK TO WORK!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER 1: Shut up!
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS 2 and 3 nod!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER 4: Yeah, we're only human beings bitch!
SABRINA used TYPICAL-SABRINA-PSYCHIC-BLAST THINGY…
Causing CONSTRUCTION WORKERS 1 and 4 explode. Blah blah, you know the drill.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS 2 and 3 scramble back to WORK!
There, better. They should have learned by now.
SABRINA is easy to BEAT!

What? EXCUSE ME?!
Look at your WIN-LOSS RECORD!
SABRINA may blow up EXTRAS at LEISURE, but it tends to LOSE the BATTLES!
What did I say about the "it" referencing?!
SHUT UP. NARRATOR cares not for your gender picky-ness!
Why I ought to…
ACCIDENT occurred!
ACCIDENT used BEAM!
SABRINA was STRUCK on the HEAD by a falling STEEL SUPPORT BEAM!
Owwww…
You suck as a narrator…
And YOU should be FAINTED!
Heh…Some HP left you know…
NARRATOR will fix that!
NARRATOR used SUMMON!
…
Well?
…
MMGHAM seems to fail to be SUMMONED!
I gave him a Rubik's cube and told him the fate of the world rested on whether or not he could solve it.
…-_-'
What about BAM-BOOM?
Before it got done facefaulting…don't ask me how a gun can facefault, anyway, before it got over the shock and could tell 'Action Man it was a trick I had some armament people take it and sell it on the black market.
…-_-'''
I hear it's now an illegal addition to a pirate ship, being used to sink Aircraft Carriers and the like.
…-_-'''''
NARRATOR is getting DEHYDRATED, one minute…
SPLASH!
AH, better.
Going to send something out to battle me now I suppose?
Might as well get it over with, I haven't crushed anything significant recently.
SMUGGLER appeared!
SMUGGLER showed….bzzt!
EDITED MATERIAL.
Spokesperson: We here at Pokébattles, even us with Aqua Version, have to respect a rating ceiling. However, seeing Sabrina's reaction, we leave you to wonder just what this was. If you can imagine what gets HER to react so, I pity your sick mind, but otherwise, just worry that this was even suggested.
*BLUSH!* Um….err….well, ewwww…..
NARRATOR had thought even AQUA wasn't that SICK!
WHAT happened?
I took MrKite15 on as a secondary writer.
Yes Aqua Master, Lord, you did, and I'm eternally grateful for it.
No sweat. Now get back to licking my boots.
Bleh…ok master.
-_-''
O.O
…I'm missing something…
WEBMASTER managed to REGAIN control of WEBSITE!
THAT "MRKITE15" was probably a mere FIGMENT of his IMAGINATION!
WEBMASTER ERIC is NOW going around in some sort of DELUDED STATE!
Are you saying he wasn't before?
…Well, MORESO now!
…All right, let's erase bad thoughts and try to get on with our odd fanfic style orientated lives.
I SAID ERASE BAD THOUGHTS! Damn face…
INTERESTING color! Sort of CRIMSON-LIKE, but not QUITE!
Ohhh…come on!! Hmph, at least that brain-dead webmaster will get a chewing out from CrimsonKing for this battle. Hopefully he'll be merciless too.
SABRINA got RUN OVER! …by a CEMENT TRUCK that was backing up!
OWWW…what the?!
Sneak attack. I strongly disapprove.
TOUGH! NARRATOR points out that CEMENT TRUCKS are NOT very adept at SNEAKING UP on their VICTIMS!
We've already exceeded our quota for "Shut up"s in this battle…so, hmm…
YOU WILL BE SILENT!
NO!
YES!
NO!
YES!
NO!
YES!
YES!
Right.
DAMN!
Apparently SABRINA has SOME intelligence after all!
Feh, compared to EricMHE just about everyone does.
Oh…what's that?
THAT?
I…felt something…you know, with psychic power mumbo jumbo?
Eh, well, some of the EX-LIQUID CAST is DUE to ARRIVE!
Oh. Ooh. New blood to torment. I've…got things to do, ta-ta.
SABRINA walks towards the area where the PORTAL will BE!
CAR used HIT!
CAR hit SABRINA!
OW!…crap! TWICE in ONE day!
Easy on the caps, babe. Only warning.
ERICMHE: BACK UP!! YOU DIDN'T GET HER!
Huh?
ERICMHE: Oh wait…I'm not here, I'm in a really dumb, pointless plot device. See ya.
ERICMHE…err, left…err, into that FANFIC... BACK IN THE FUTURE!
Ahem, that's "Back to the Future" if you're looking for a movie pun.
Oh, yeah, THANKS!
LIGHTNING BOLT hit SABRINA!
BWA-ZZZAP!
SABRINA fai…URRH?!
*cough* …bastard voice… *hack hack*
O.O
You takin' endurance lessons from Goku or something?
Why…can't you …JUST LEAVE ME…*cough* …alone?
Because THAT would be totally UN-PROFESSIONAL for a NARRATOR!
Eh, "BATTLE" ends!

Battle 90: New Writer on the Server February 28, 2001
Author: MrKite15
Setting: Remote Location
Player: Buddy

I found the portal, finally, ah, it's nice to be back at liquid!...wait, the sky...it seems...different, only a slight color change, but still...
NARRATOR holds back EXTREME LAUGHTER!
Eh, what's so funny narrator? I...wait...when did Kite get a new narrator? Infact, you sound oddly familiar...oh no, DON'T TELL ME!
NARRATOR can't resist!
YOU'RE BACK IN AQUA!
HAHAHAHAHA!
What?!?! No, I had my OWN VERSION, come on, this can't be happening! I can't be an extra again!
Well, good for YOU then, you will NOT be an EXTRA!
...really? What's the catch?
No catch, NARRATOR can TORTURE you better as a CHARACTER!
...damn...
Plus, with ERIC in THE FUTURE, NARRATOR doesn't have any CRAZY PEOPLE to BOTHER!
I'm not crazy...
Yes you are!
No, I'm not!
NARRATOR snickers lightly...
Wait, aqua...that means...
Not ANOTHER person out to kill ERIC, IT's been DONE to DEATH!
Muahahaha, Eric shall learn what true pain is!
...NARRATOR thinks this is getting SLIGHTLY repititious!
THANKFULLY, ERIC is in the FUTURE, with EVOLUMAN and DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF?!
BUDDY cowers in corner!
No, not, with the teeth, and, and, and, the blood, and, oh god, oh dear lord!
THIS is TOO PERFECT!
NARRATOR will make this your OWN PERSONAL HELL!
MUAHAHAHAHA!
I shoulda just stayed in Storm, where it was nice, and safe...with no version to call my own, I, I feel...awkward.
...YOU need to BATTLE someone! Let's see here, WHO haven't I TORTURED in a while?...Oh, I know...
DEUTSHLäUNDER appeared!
DEUTSH: No! It's zee narrator again! Look, I don't vant to battle again, I zay vee call it a truce, eh?
Fine by me, poor guy looks like he's been through the ringer.
NARRATOR needs to have some FUN!
NARRTOR splashes DEUTSH with COLD WATER!
DEUTSH: You are an evil narrator, you know that?
...glad you caught on.
DEUTSH is NOW a PLATAPUS!
...that may actually be an improvement!
DEUTSH: Vat?! Vat is *quack* zis?! I haven't *quack*...oh, fooey.
~...I can't battle the poor guy, I mean...LOOK AT HIM!
DEUTSH: Pleaze mizter Buddy, I don't vanna *quack* get any vorse off, if of courze this *quack* iz pozzible.
...YOU battle or I bring back DOOMPUFF!
DEUTSH: Not the vun vit' the *quack* big teeth and the bitin' and the maimin', no?
YES!
...fine, then, we battle!
BUDDY sent out GRAVELER!
DEUTSH: Oh, thiz iz not one *quack* zided, no? I battle a guy with a big rock thing who look *quack* like he gonna kill me?
DEUTSH sent out DEUTSH!
DEUTSH: I haven't caught any brakez thiz far, vhy *quack* vould I get any now?
Just hurry up and lose, and you'll be back to your....normal life....
DEUTSH: And vat am I returnin to?! Bein the butt of the Narrator's *quack* yokes?!
Maybe you won't be the butt of narrator's yo...jokes, come on, let's just battle.
GRAVELER used ROCK THROW!
DEUTSH: Vat? I see *quack* nothing? Maybe for once I got off lucky, no?
WHISTLING SOUND is heard!
DEUTSH: Vath is zat? I...oh good lord!
DEUSTH takes WILE E. COYOTE stance!
GIANT BOULDER landed on DEUSTH
BUDDY wins!