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Mike's Battles 1 to 5:
Battle #1: January 9, 2000
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Mike the Weird [No Record] First battle in chronological order
MIKE wakes up!
MIKE wants to become a Pokémon Master!
MIKE is dreaming.
I am not. I'm wide awake!
MIKE grabs his Pokémon and heads out!
MIKE is walking along.
MIKE is daydreaming.
MIKE ran into a tree!
Ow!
TREE is angry!
TREE wants to fight!
HUH!?!
Enemy TREE sends out TREE!
All right, Pokéball, go!
Go, MAGIKARP!
…wonderful…
Enemy TREE used DROP!
Enemy TREE'S attack missed.
MAGIKARP fainted!
More like Magikrap.
Next Pokéball go!
Get'm, RATTATA!
I HATE random Pokémon…
Enemy TREE used BRANCH!
Enemy TREE drops branch!
Enemy TREE'S attack missed!
Ok Rattata, use bite!
RATTATA used BITE!
OWW!! The TREE, the TREE!! NOT ME!!
RATTATA used BITE!
It's not very effective.
Enemy TREE used RAZOR LEAF!
RATTATA fainted.
Grrrr… POKéBALL GO!!! Please be powerful.
Go, CATAPIE!
Enemy TREE is laughing!
Catapie, use your gnaw attack!
CATAPIE used GNAW!
Enemy TREE'S leaves have many holes in them!
Enemy TREE is no longer laughing!
Enemy TREE used DROP!
Enemy TREE dropped BOMB!
ACK! Catapie, counter it with string shot!!
CATAPIE used STRING SHOT!
Enemy BOMB'S speed greatly fell!
Enemy BOMB is stuck to enemy TREE!
BOMB exploded!
It's super effective!
Enemy TREE fainted!
I'll never step on another bug ever again!
…grumble, grumble…
What was that?
Uh…MIKE used good thinking!
…but shouldn't let it go to his head!
Mike #2: Haunter Hi-Jinx January 9, 2000
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Mike the Weird >[Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Tree (Mike Battle #1)
Hmm, a Weedle. Pokéball, go!
Go, PIDGEY!
Enemy WEEDLE used POISON STING!
Enemy WEEDLE'S attack missed!
Pidgey, use gust!
PIDGEY used GUST!
Enemy WEEDLE was blown into a ROCK!
All right! Pokéball, GO!!
Wild HAUNTER APPEARED!
HAUNTER: BOO!
AAHH!!
You missed the Pokémon!
Wild WEEDLE escaped!
Grrr…why you little, no…
MIKE notices HAUNTER is bigger than usual!
…nice, friendly ghost that won't harm me?
HAUNTER disappeared!
MIKE looks around!
Hmm…nothing…
MIKE leaves area quickly!
MIKE isn't watching where he's going!
Huh? Am too!
MIKE tripped over ROCK!
…damn you…
Told you.
Now what?
ROCK is angry!
ROCK wants to fight!
Why am I not surprised?
Enemy ROCK used ROCK THROW!
MIKE has concussion!
Grrr…Pokéball go!!
Go, MACHOP!
Machop, use low kick!
MACHOP used LOW KICK!
MACHOP stubbed toe!
Enemy ROCK used ROCK THROW!
MACHOP fainted!
What?
ROCK is evolving!
Uh-oh
ROCK evolved into BOULDER!
Pokéball go! …please be a water type!
Go, PSYDUCK!
PSYDUCK: Psy-yi-yi!
Enemy BOULDER used ROCK SLIDE!
It's super effective!
PSYCUCK used MIGRANE!
BOULDER devolved into GRAVEL!
HA! Take that!
Enemy GRAVEL is angry!
Enemy GRAVEL is rumbling!
Ack!
Enemy GRAVEL used AVALANCHE!
MIKE is buried up to neck!
Enemy GRAVEL used ROCK THROW!
Ow! OW! OW!! Ow!
HAUNTER reappeared!
HAUNTER wants to fight!
Oh, Ow! No, OW! Why, OW! Me, OW!
HAUNTER wants to fight GRAVEL!
YAY! OWW!!
Ally HAUNTER used NIGHTSHADE!
It's super effective!
Could you please aim!?!
GRAVEL fainted!
MIKE digs his way out!
HAUNTER joins you!
Ah, you're so impressed by my fierce fighting prowess…
HAUNTER says don't quit your day job!
Mike Battle #3: Boulder Badge Brawl January 9, 2000
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Mike the Weird [Record: 2-0-0 Last Battle: Win vs. Rock (Mike Battle #2)
So, where's this Flint character?
Ally HAUNTER says at his gym, stupid!
I knew that, let's go.
MIKE and HAUNTER arrive at PEWTER GYM!
Hmm, seems awfully quiet. Where is everybody?
Ally HAUNTER says it's only three A.M.!
Oh, I guess we're a little early.
Ally HAUNTER says you have a talent for stating the obvious!
Ally HAUNTER tells MIKE to use DOOR BELL!
MIKE used DOOR BELL!
It's super effective.
VOICE: Grumble, grumble, stupid punks.
FLINT appeared!
FLINT wants to fight!
FLINT sent out RHYHORN!
Pokéball, go!
Go, VENONAT!
Enemy RHYHORN used HORN DRILL!
VENONAT fainted!
Pokéball, go!
Go, VOLTORB!
Um…use supersonic!
VOLTORB used SUPERSONIC!
Enemy RHYHORN is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion.
Enemy RHYHORN used EARTHQUAKE!
VOLTORB fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
Yes! Pokéball go!!
Go, KRABBY!
Krabby, use water gun!
KRABBY used WATER GUN!
It's super effective!
Yay! Bye-bye Rhyhorn!
Enemy RHYHORN is still standing!
Uh…
Enemy RHYHORN used EARTHQUAKE!
It's not very effective.
KRABBY fainted!
WHAT?!
Next Pokéball go!!
Go, BULBASAUR!
YES! YES! YES! YES!!
FLINT: Rhyhorn, horn drill attack!
Bulbasaur, use vine whip!
BULBASAUR catches enemy RHYHORN by the horn!
BULBASAUR smashed enemy RHYHORN into rocks…
…multiple times!
Enemy RHYHORN fainted!
FLINT sent out GOLEM!
Oh no!
BULBASAUR: BULBA!!
FLINT: Golem, rock slide!
Enemy GOLEM used ROCK SLIDE!
It's super effective.
BULBASAUR fainted!
Grrr… darn it Bulbasaur… Pokéball go!!!
Go, CHARMANDER!
Great. Charmander, flamethrower!!
CHARMANDER used FLAMETHROWER!
It's not very effective.
Enemy GOLEM used ROCK THROW!
It's super effective!
CHARMANDER is hurt!
Charmander, use scratch!
CHARMANDER used SCRATCH!
It's not very effective.
CHARMANDER fainted!
That's it…if this isn't a good Pokémon…
I'll…I'll fight him myself!
Go, …
What is it?!
BLASTOISE!
*marking Pokéball* Blastoise, use hydro pump!
BLASTOISE used HYDRO PUMP!
It's super effective!
Enemy GOLEM fainted!
FLINT: Here, take the friggin' badge and just LET ME SLEEP!!
Ally HAUNTER says he would have liked to see you fight.
Oh really? I would have won earlier if I'd done that.
Ally HAUNTER says that he wanted to see you get beat up!
HEY!!
Mike Battle #4: Fanboy Fistfight Free-for-all January 09, 2000
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Mike the Weird [Record: 3-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Flint (Mike Battle #3)
MIKE is walking to CERULEAN.
Why are you following me?
Ally HAUNTER says you're amusing.
Uh, thanks… I think?
FANBOY appeared!
Huh?
FANBOY wants to fight!
Ah, I could use a light work out.
FANBOY sent out OPTIMUS PRIME!
ACK!!! Uh…Pokéball go!
Go, GOLDEEN!
Goldeen…use, um…uh…splash?
GOLDEEN used SPLASH!
It's super pathetic!
Enemy OPTIMUS PRIME used STOMP 'N' GRIND!
It's super pulpified!
Goldeen!! Grrr… Pokéball go!!
Go, DITTO!
Ditto, use Trans…
*SPLAT!*
Enemy OPTIMUS PRIME used STOMP!
Oh, now that's just not fair.
Enemy OPTIMUS agrees!
Pokéball go!
Go, MACHAMP!
All right! Use submission!
MACHAMP has OPRIMUS in a headlock!
MACHAMP tells OPTIMUS to say uncle!
Enemy OPTIMUS refuses!
Enemy OPTIMUS used SEISMIC TOSS!
MACHAMP is going…going…gone!
Uh…next Pokéball!!
Go, MAGIKARP!
Magikarp!! "MAGIKARP!!!!
Enemy OPTIMUS is paralyzed by laughter!
Magikarp, use Thunder……no, wait…
MAGIKARP used THUNDER!
HUH!?
FANBOY: HUH!?
It's super effective!
Enemy OPTIMUS is paralyzed by confusion!
Cool! *marks Magikarp's Pokéball*
Magikarp, use…uh…earthquake?
MAGIKARP used EARTHQUAKE!
Enemy OPTIMUS fainted!
FANBOY is surprised!
FANBOY sent out MEGATRON!
Enemy MEGATRON used TERRORIZE!
Enemy MEGATRON transformed into robot mode!
Magikarp, return! Pokéball go!
Return MAGIKARP!
Go, CHARMANDER!
Enemy MEGATRON used MISSILE!
It's super effective!
Quick Charmander counter with…uh…MAXIMIZE!
CHARMANDER: Charmander, MAXIMIZE!
CHARMANDER transformed into Dinobot-like-robot!
Charmander use flamethrower!
CHARMANDER used FLAMETHROWER!
Enemy MEGATRON used LASER BEAM!
Charmander, whirling blade attack now!
CHARMANDER used WHIRLING BLADE!
It's super effective!
Enemy MEGATRON used BITE!
Huh?
Enemy MEGATRON has a T-REX head for a hand in robot mode!
Oh yeah…
Charmander, laser beam!
CHARMANDER used LASER BEAM!
Enemy MEGATRON fainted!
Whoo-hoo! I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it!
FANBOY is annoyed!
FANBOY sent out DINOBOT!
Enemy DINOBOT realizes CHARMANDER is ripping him off!
Enemy DINOBOT is angry!
Enemy DINOBOT used RAGE!
CHARMANDER fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
Um…you want to get this one Haunter?
Ally HAUNTER ran away!
Good idea…
MIKE ran away!
Mike Battle #5: Cascade Badge Catastrophe January 09, 2000
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Mike the Weird [Record: 3-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Fanboy (Mike Battle #4)
MIKE and ally HAUNTER arrive at CERULEAN GYM!
All is quiet.
ARG! Ok, are we early, or are we late?
Ally HAUNTER used POINT!
Ally HAUNTER pointed to a note on the door!
What's it say?
It's a letter!
It can't talk!
Grrr….Ok, what's written on it?
On date; be back at 8PM. Signed, "Sensational Cerulean Sisters"
Later, 8PM-ish:
Where are they?!
Ally HAUNTER says to be patient!
Sisters walk up with a HITMONLEE!
MIKE sees three sisters!
MIKE is fascinated!
If a Hitmonlee can get a date, maybe I've got a chance.
Ally HAUNTER says in your dreams!
We'll see about that!
In a second…feeling…
MIKE fell asleep!
DAISY used KICK!
OW!!
LILLY: Who are you and what are you doing in our gym?
I am Mike the Great!
VIOLET: It doesn't look too great, what do you think it is?
LILLY: I'm not sure…
I'm a human!! A Pokémon trainer at that!
DAISY: Oh, fooled me.
MIKE is angry!
MIKE wants to fight!
Sisters accept challenge!
DAISY sent out CLOYSTER!
VIOLET sent out KINGLER!
LILLY sent out LAPRAS!
HITMONLEE sent out HITMONLEE!
HEY!! Four against one isn't fair!
Ally HAUNTER agrees!
Pokéball go!!
Go, JIGGLYPUFF!
Enemy HITMONLEE used FLYING KICK!
JIGGLYPUFF fainted!
Ally HAUNTER used CONFUSE RAY!
Enemy HITMONLEE is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
I've never seen anything kick itself in the face like that…
Uh, oh yeah! Next Pokéball go!
Go, EKANS!
Enemy CLOYSTER used ICE BEAM!
EKANS was frozen solid!
Grrr…
EKANS, return!
Go, SANDSHREW!
Enemy LAPRAS used SURF!
It's super effective!
SANDSHREW fainted!
GRRR… STOP THAT!!! Pokéball go!
Go, GEODUDE!
Geodude, nail 'em with thunder quickly!!
LILLY: Geodude can't use…
GEODUDE used THUNDER!
It's super effective!
Enemy HITMONLEE is still confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Enemy HITMONLEE fainted!
Ally HAUNTER used NIGHT SHADE!
Enemy CLOYSTER fainted!
DAISY: Humph. Go, Dewgong!
DAISY sent out DEWGONG!
Geodude, use MEGA KICK!
GEODUDE used MEGA KICK!
VIOLET: Kingler, Guillotine now.
Enemy KINGER used GUILLOTINE!
One-hit-K.O.!
GEODUDE fainted!
NEXT POKéBALL!!!
Go, PIKACHU!
ALL RIGHT!!
Enemy KINGLER used HYDRO PUMP!
PIKACHU fainted!
GRRR… *twitching with anger* POKéBALL GO!!!
Go, RATTATA!
Rattata, um, use…flamethrower!
RATTATA used FLAMETHROWER!
It's not very effective.
Enemy KINGLER fainted!
Enemy DEWGONG used AURORA BEAM!
Ally HAUNTER fainted!
VIOLET: You're up…Seadra!
VIOLET sent out SEADRA!
Enemy LAPRAS used BLIZZARD!
RATTATA fainted!
GRRRRR!!!! POKéBALL GO!! POKéBALL GO!! POKéBALL GO!!!!
Go, CHARMANDER, STARYU, and PIDGEY!
Charmander use Solarbeam! Staryu use Mega Punch, Pidgey use Dragon Rage!
CHARMANDER used SOLARBEAM!
It's super effective!
Enemy DEWGONG fainted!
STARYU used MEGA PUNCH!
Enemy SEADRA fainted!
PIDGEY used DRAGON RAGE!
Enemy LAPRAS fainted!
LILLY sent out DRAGONAIR!
Enemy DRAGONAIR used HYPER BEAM!
PIDGEY and STARYU fainted!
ACK! Charmander use…uh… thrash?
CHARMANDER used THRASH!
CHARMANDER thrashed enemy DRAGONAIR!
LILLY: Huh!?!
CHARMANDER'S attack continues!
Enemy DRAGONAIR fainted!
CHARMANDER'S attack continues!
Uh…you can stop now…
CHARMANDER thrashed LILLY!
STOP!! I command you!
CHARMANDER thrashed DAISY!
Pokéball go! Stop Charmander!!
Go, JOLTEON!
CHARMANDER'S attack continues!
CHARMANDER thrashed JOLTEON and VIOLET!
Uh-oh!!
MIKE ran away!
MIKE is running!
Running is futile.
CHARMANDER thrashed MIKE!
Later:
MIKE is in hospital!
Now Charmander, give me the badge…
CHARMANDER: GRRR!! *snap!!*
That's all the battles on this page. Look for more Mike weirdness soon enough!
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