NC-17 Battle #1: This Battle Sucks
Setting: Celery House of Soup
Player: Mr. Bukakke (0/0/0)
Date: April 17th, 2004
WHY HELLO THAR BUTSECKS!!!LOLOLOLOL
Oh dear GOD NO!
WHAT AER YOU DOIGN?! AER YUO ON TEH CRAK?!!?
This is SUPER EFFECTIVELY STUPID!
It's like a CRITICAL HIT to the BRAIN!
I"M SURE BUTSECKS.
Stop CALLING me that!
0. Besides, I don't really talk like that. I was psyching you and the readers into thinking we had a Jeff K character.
Oh... PHEW!
So WHO are YOU then?
My name is Mr. Bukakke. Also known as The Fourth Wall Shattering Fiend.
YOU'RE... the FOURTH WALL SHATTERING FIEND?!
YOU are LEGENDARY!
Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, let's just do the obvious raunchy stuff and get this battle out of the way, huh? It's about time for me to have an opponent.
DOG appeared!
DOG: Grrrr!
DOG humped BUKAKKE's leg!
Eww! Eww! Eww! Get it off!
MR. BUKAKKE used GET IT OFF!
MR. BUKAKKE got the dog off!
...that's way too sick, even for an NC-17 battle.
...of his leg! Pervert!
Hey, I'm Mr. Bukakke. What did you think I'd be? A priest?
CATHOLIC PRIEST appeared!
CPRIEST: Come here little boy...
BOY: I don't think the cross is supposed to go there!
Well, that's offensive and raunchy enough. Are we done yet? This battle sucks.
CATHOLIC PRIEST wants to fight!
Right, someone would have to.
CATHOLIC PRIEST sent out CATHOLIC PRIEST!
Fine, if we're going to fight each other...
MR. BUKAKKE sent out MR. BUKAKKE!
You're in a "mess" of trouble, mister.
MR BUKAKKE used BUKAKKE attack!
CPRIEST: ARRRRGHHHH! NOT IN THE EYES!!
CATHOLIC PRIEST ran away!
Why do I get the feeling this battle was written just to be incredibly offensive and controversial, and to piss as many readers off as possible all at once?
I didn't KNOW we had so MANY CATHOLIC readers!
Well, if one of them is catholic, we'll have pissed off... 1/2 of our audience.
That's TRUE!
This battle still sucks.
THAT'S the NAME of the GAME! And of the BATTLE!
Yeah. Still not funny.
NARRATOR ends this BATTLE before it gets LONGER and of slightly HIGHER quality thereof!
Because THAT would be a shame.
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