NEWSCASTER
used NEWS FLASH!
NEWSCASTER:
Hello, citizens of Emerald City. I am now outside of the Emerald City Muffin
Factory, where a hideous crime is now taking place. I should call 911,
but will not for important plot reasons.
NARRATOR
watches BQ plummet!
NEWSCASTER:
Shaddap.
Meanwhile...
BURGLAR
used RUN WITH LOOT!
BURGLAR
is RUNNING away!
He's
getting away! Muffin Man! Attack!
Do
YOU know the MUFFIN MAN?
The
MUFFIN MAN!
The
MUFFIN-
Ahem.
Right.
MUFFIN MAN appeared!
Thanks.
Now
chase down that scumbucket!
Player: The Muffin Man
MUFFIN
MAN used CHASE!
MUFFIN
MAN CHASEd down that SCUMBUCKET!
BURGLAR:
Ha-ha!!! Go get 'em LOOT!
BURGLAR
sent out LOOT!
Go!
CORN MUFFIN!!
MUFFIN
MAN sent out CORN MUFFIN!
Ok,
use your CORNY JOKE, CORN MUFFIN!
CORNY
JOKE confused LOOT!
LOOT
is confused!
LOOT
used EAT!
Um.
BURGLAR:
So?!?!
LOOT
accidentally ATE itself in its confusion!!!
It
ate ITSELF although that is not possible...
...oh,
and it has no mouth.
BURGLAR:
Bah! There goes my money! Try to beat up this one!
BURGLAR
sent out DITTO36!
Huh?
Looks like a bloated blob of grape jello!
Muffindex,
what is that thing?
MUFFINDEX:
BEEP! No MUFFIN identified!
Oh,
I forgot, it only identifies muffins.
DITTO36
used DEVOUR!
DITTO36
devoured CORN MUFFIN!
WHAT
THE-
CORN
MUFFIN fainted!
Ugggghhh!
MUFFIN
MAN sent out CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN!
CHOCOLATE
CHIP MUFFIN was DEVOURED!
CHOCOLATE
CHIP MUFFIN fainted!
Nooo!
I slaved over a hot oven to bake that muffin!
Agh...Don't
fail me now! CRANBERRY MUFFIN!! Go!
MUFFIN
MAN sent out CRANBERRY MUFFIN!
CRANBERRY
MUFFIN was immediately DEVOURED!
CRANBERRY
MUFFIN FAINTED!
I
prepared myself if something like this were to happen!
You
leave me no choice... *sigh* Go, SECRET WEAPON!
SECRET
WEAPON was identified as BAKED BEAN MUFFIN!
BURGLAR:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! THAT WAS YOUR SECRET WEAPON!?!
BURGLAR:
I'll take care of this myself!
BURGLAR
used EAT!
BAKE
BEAN MUFFIN fainted!
Heheheh...
BURGLAR:
YES! I wi-uhhhhh...
BURGLAR
became SICK!
BURGLAR
used LETHAL FART!
BURGLAR
fainted!
DITTO36
DEVOURED FART CLOUD!
DITTO36
was poisoned!
DITTO36
fainted!
WOOHOOO!!
Post comments on Emerald Version Battle #76: Muffin Mayhem
Recap: Another
battle with Compmaster and Andre. Do YOU know the Muffin Man?
Battle
#77: Muffin Mayhem II December 3, 2001
Setting:
Emerald City Muffin Factory
Player:
The Muffin Man
Do
YOU know the MUFFIN MAN?
The
MUFFIN MAN!
The
MUF-
Work,
Work, Work! These muffins have got to get to Viridian City in less than
an hour!
RANCID
MUFFIN appeared!
RANCID
MUFFIN: Heheh! Let's battle!
Sure
- you're one muffin and I'm the Muffin Man! There'll be no contest!
RANCID
MUFFIN used DESTROY!
RANCID
MUFFIN has just DESTROYED the MUFFIN SHIPMENT!
Why
you little!!!
MUFFIN
MAN used THERMO-NUCLEAR HYDROGEN BOMB!
Critical
hit!
RANCID
MUFFIN went FLYING!
RANCID
MUFFIN used APOLOGIZE!
Yeah
right!
RANCID
MUFFIN: Fine then!
RANCID
MUFFIN used SUMMON!
RANCID
MUFFIN SUMMONED RANCID MUFFIN ARMY!
MUFFIN
MAN: Two can play at that game!
MUFFIN
MAN used SUMMON!
MUFFIN
MAN SUMMONED MUFFIN WORKERS!
WORKERS
used UNION POWER!
WORKERS:
We're on strike! We're on strike!
MUFFIN
MAN is SURROUNDED!
All
MUFFIN MAN has is a GAMEBOY and a KIRBY'S DREAMLAND CARTDRIDGE!
Noooo!
MUFFIN
MAN used SMASH!
MUFFIN
MAN smashed GAMEBOY and CARTDRIDGE!
KIRBY
popped out!
KIRBY
used INHALE!
KIRBY
INHALED MUFFINS!
KIRBY
and MUFFIN MAN used ON THE ROAD AGAIN!
KIRBY
and MUFFIN MAN hopped in CAR!
On
the road agaiiiiiiiiiiiin!
KIRBY'S
EARS shattered!
Wait...KIRBY
never had EARS!
KIRBY:
GRR!
Uh...
CAR used DRIVE!
CAR
DROVE to VIRIDIAN CITY!
KIRBY
spit out all the RANCID MUFFINs that WERE being STORED in its MOUTH!
Yahoo!
We did it!
KIRBY
used HAPPY DANCE!
<(
'.' )>
<('.'
<)
(>
'.')>
DO
THE KIRBY!
KIRBY-NO-OSEKKAI
appeared!
KIRBY-NO-OSEKKAI
used SUE!
*** Kirby-No-Osekkai
has joined #court
*** Topic
is 'Current case: [Type: Copyright Infringement] [Plaintiff: Kirby-no-Osekkai]
[Defendant: Emerald Version Webmasters] [Judge: Narrator] [Ruling: Pending]'
To be continued...
Post comments on Emerald Version Battle #77: Muffin Mayhem II
Recap: A new
battle series begins - a tournament starring Billy Bob!
Battle
#78: A Tournament Begins December 15,
2001
Setting:
School
Player:
Billy Bob
~The
School Tournament: Battle I~
PRINCIPAL:
Ahem. This week's announcements are as follows. The toilet in the
6th grade hall is overflowing at a rapid rate. Please stay away from there.
Ummm... Congratulations to DAVID KEEM for winning the regional clarinet
award and... Oh yeah! A tournament will be held inside the auditorium for
students and teachers for a fundraiser. Only five bucks to enter!
The winner gets a prize!
I'm
going to win that tournament!
ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to our first annual tournament! This is sponsored by DEODORANT
CITY - where YOU go for odor-cleansing products! May the best man
win and enjoy the fabulous prize! Let the match begin!
ANNOUNCER:
The first match will be... BILLYBOB and NERDY!
NERDY:
Go! POCKET PROTECTOR!
NERDY
sent out POCKET PROTECTOR!
Ha!
Go SCISSORS!!!
BILLYBOB
sent out SCISSORS!
NERDY:
Use PROTECT now!
Oh
wow! *sarcasm*
POCKET
PROTECTOR used PROTECT!
POCKET
PROTECTOR is PROTECTed.
...That
must be the lamest attack ever.
SCISSORS,
use SHRED!
POCKET
PROTECTOR was SHREDDED!
POCKET
PROTECTOR fainted!
In
your face!
NERDY:
Why you! Go NERDY GLASSES!!!
NERDY:
Use magnify!
SCISSORS,
use your SLICE attack!
NERDY
GLASSES used MAGNIFY!
NERDY
GLASSES can SEE the enemy better.
NERDY
GLASSES: Oooh! The pretty colors!
...No,
that
is the lamest.
SCISSORS
used SLICE!
NERDY
GLASSES were SLICED in HALF!
NERDY
GLASSES fainted!
NERDY:
My last one... GO! REPORT CARD!!!
NERDY:
Okay REPORT CARD, use your ALL A's attack!
REPORT
CARD used ALL A's!
SCISSORS
is JEALOUS!
SCISSORS
wants ALL A's!
You
don't have a report card!
SCISSORS:
Such neglect! Do you not care for me! I have feelings too!
...You
do?
SCISSORS
ran away crying!
That
is perhaps the most emotional pair of scissors I've ever seen.
Hell,
I've never seen an emotional pair of scissors!
NERDY:
Ha! Send out your next Pokémon!
You're
goin' down!
BILLYBOB
sent out PENCIL!
Use
your SCRIBBLE!
PEN
used SCRIBBLE!
PEN
changed GRADES from A's to F's!
NERDY:
MY GRADES!!!!!
NERDY:
I worked so hard for those grades!
NERDY:
Day in and day out!
NERDY:
Hours and hours of nonstop work!
NERDY:
WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
REPORT
CARD fainted!
PENCIL
gained 98 exp points!
What?
PENCIL is evolving!
PENCIL
evolved into PEN!
BILLYBOB
wins!
On
to the next battle!
Recap: The
second battle of a new tournament!
Battle
#79: The Tournament Continues December
15, 2001
Setting:
School Auditorium
Player:
Billy Bob
~The
School Tournament: Battle II~
Oh
yeah! I won! I won! My next battle waits!
ANNOUNCER:
Our next battle will be between Jock and Billybob!
JOCK
used DEGRADING COMMENT!
JOCK:
I'm going to beat you like a drum!
What
the heck! You're toast and you know it!
ANNOUNCER:
Let the match begin!
JOCK:
I choose you! BASKETBALL!
JOCK
sent out BASKETBALL!
Go!
STAPLER!
BILLYBOB
sent out STAPLER!
JOCK:
Duh, use BOUNCE!
BASKETBALL
used BOUNCE!
BASKETBALL
bounced up high!
You
know what to do STAPLER!
STAPLER
used STAPLE CANNON!
RATATATATATATATATATATATATAT!
It's
super effective!
BASKETBALL
popped!
JOCK:
Damn! I'm not going to Sports Authority anymore!
BASKETBALL
fainted!
What's
this?! STAPLER is evolving!
STAPLER
evolved into STAPLE GUN!
JOCK
sent out JOHN MADDEN!
Watch
out STAPLE GUN!
JOCK:
Use your FALL!
JOHN
MADDEN used FALL!
JOHN
MADDEN's enormous GIRTH crushed STAPLE GUN into small PLASTIC PIECES!
STAPLE
GUN fainted!
Aaawwwwwwwwww...
Ok, go POCKETWATCH!
JOHN
MADDEN used APPROACH!
POCKETWATCH
used TIME TRAVEL!
POCKETWATCH
TRAVELED into the FUTURE!
TIME
TRAVEL caused POCKETWATCH to evolve!
Oh!
I get it!
JOCK:
Uh, I don't.
POCKETWATCH
evolved into WRISTWATCH!
WRISTWATCH
evolved into CLOCK!
CLOCK
evolved into BIG BEN!
JOCK:
Uhoh!
Oh
yeah!
DARTH
VADER appeared!
DARTH
VADER: Join the DARK SIDE, BIG BEN!
BIG
BEN used ACCEPT!
Wait!
DARTH
VADER: First you must prove yourself worthy by accomplishing something
evil though.
BIG
BEN used WHACK!
JOHN
MADDEN was WHACKED by BIN BEN!
DARTH
VADER used DISAPPROVE.
DARTH
VADER: Now that wasn't very evil. You can do better than that!
BIG
BEN used TIMETHROW!
BIG
BEN THREW JOHN MADDEN and JOCK into the ATMOSPHERE, 2 BILLION years AGO!
*sizzle*
JOHN
MADDEN fainted!
JOCK
fainted!
Yeah!
You rock, BIG BEN!
DARTH
VADER: Very good. You will come with me.
DARTH
VADER used VANISH!
BIG
BEN used VANISH!
POOF!
BIG
BEN! Noooo!
BILLYBOB
wins!
At
least I won...
Recap: Billy
Bob takes on the band conductor in the third battle of this exciting tournament!
Battle
#80: Conducting Your Defeat December
23, 2001
Setting:
School Auditorium
Player:
Billy Bob
~The
School Tournament: Battle III~
ANNOUNCER:
Wow! This competition is really going to be close! We only have one more
student left. That student is BILLYBOB!
CROWD
used CHEER!
ANNOUNCER:
Our next match is between BILLYBOB and BAND CONDUCTOR!
I'm
gonna win!
ANNOUNCER:
Let the match begin!
CONDUCTOR:
Go BATON!
CONDUCTOR
sent out BATON!
Go,
RULER!
BILLYBOB
sent out RULER!
CONDUCTOR:
Use your WHACK ATTACK!
BATON
is loafing around!
BATON
used WHACK ATTACK on CONDUCTOR!
Ha
ha!
CONDUCTOR:
Ow! Cut it out! Return!
BATON
ran away!
How
did you get this far, anyway?
CONDUCTOR:
Errgh! Go Flutie the Flute!
CONDUCTOR
sent out FLUTIE!
CONDUCTOR:
Use your HIGH PITCH attack!
ROGER
CLEMENS appeared!
...uh?
ROGER
CLEMENS used TEACH on FLUTIE!
FLUTIE
is LISTENING!
ROGER
CLEMENS ran away!
FLUTIE
used HIGH PITCH!
PITCH
was identified as FASTBALL!
RULER
used SWING!
STRIKE!
RULER
was slaughtered by UMPIRE!
That
was...messed.
Hmm...
I need a good Pokémon. I know!
BILLYBOB
used MAX REVIVE on STAPLE GUN!
BILLYBOB
sent out STAPLE GUN!
Okay!
Now use your STAPLE CANNON!
STAPLE
GUN used STAPLE CANNON!
PLINK!
PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK!
It's
not very effective...
CONDUCTOR:
Hah! Your puny little staples won't penetrate my FLUTIE's strong exterior!
Who
said anything about small staples?
STAPLE
GUN used MASSIVE STAPLE GUN!
POW!
It's
super effective!
FLUTIE
is PINNED to the GROUND by a HUGE STAPLE!
CONDUCTOR:
Crap!
FLUTIE
can't move!
Great!
Return!
Ooh...
I've been waiting to use this one!
GO!
BILLYBOB
sent out ULTRA FLAMETHROWER 2002!
CONDUCTOR:
mommy...
MWAHAHAHAHA!
Use SCORCH!
FLAMETHROWER
used SCORCH!
FLAMETHROWER
SCORCHed FLUTIE to a CRISP!
FLAMETHROWER
is CRISPY and CRUNCHY!
It's
not very effective...
Hey!
CONDUCTOR:
Whew!
NARRATOR
has the sudden URGE for TOAST!
NARRATOR
used EAT on TOAST!
NARRATOR
took a BITE out of FLUTIE!
NARRATOR:
Yum!
If
I wanted it to be toast I would have sent out a toaster, not a flamethrower!
Why
don't you just MELT the stupid thing, you second rate piece of fiery machinery!!!
CURIOUS
GEORGE appeared!
CURIOUS
GEORGE is CURIOUS!
That's
really great. Now would you melt this thing, FLAMETHROWER?!
CURIOUS
GEORGE is REALLY CURIOUS!
That's
just terrific. FLAMETHROWER?
CURIOUS
GEORGE IS CURIOUS!!
I
don't CARE!
CURIOUS
GEORGE IS CURIOUS, DAMMIT!!!
SO
WHAT?!
...ASK
what IT is CURIOUS about!
...WHAT
ARE YOU CURIOUS ABOUT?
CURIOUS
GEORGE is CURIOUS about what FLUTIE FLAMBÉE tastes like.
CURIOUS
GEORGE used EAT!
CURIOUS
GEORGE ate FLUTIE!
FLAMETHROWER
used MELT THAT STUPID THING!
FINALLY!
Er, wait a minute...
FLAMETHROWER
couldn't find FLUTIE!
FLAMETHROWER
used MELT THAT STUPID THING on CONDUCTOR!
CONDUCTOR:
I'm melting!! I'm meeeeeeeeeelting!! Aiiieeeee!!
CONDUCTOR
was renamed PUDDLE!
HAHA
HA HA HAHAHA HA HAHA HAHAHAHA HA!
PUDDLE:
Why you!
WICKED
WITCH appeared!
WICKED
WITCH sued PUDDLE for COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!
CURIOUS
GEORGE is CURIOUS again!
CURIOUS
GEORGE is CURIOUS what PUDDLE tastes LIKE!
CURIOUS
GEORGE used DRINK!
PUDDLE:
AAAAAAAH!
PUDDLE
ran away!
WICKED
WITCH and CURIOUS GEORGE are in close PURSUIT!
BILLYBOB
wins!
Whee!