Night Version
Current Status:
Active...
for now.
Number of Deaths:
5
Current Characters:
Uhh 0?
Where's Nightpuff?
Orange Version.
Look for Kuroi-chan.
Number of fanbattles:
One, as soon
as she decides to write one.
Important Links:
Pokebattles
main Website
The
Network Page
Former
Night Version Which actually closed
because I forgot the password...
Orange Version
Someone tell me if he kills Kuroi-chan, ok? |
Color
Key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle
#1:
Setting:
Generic World of Eternal Night
Player:
Melissa (II) [ Record:
0-0-0] Last appearance: Doompuff Battlefest?
...Bleh...
I was supposed to appear in the big battlefest thingy...
Then the stupid
thing was cancelled! And I was the only one slated for survival! ...bleh...
NIGHT VERSION
was RECREATED in AU!
What? AU?
AU is renamed
to ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!
Oh that's
a convenient way to ignore the fact that you still have a plotline to finish...
MELISSA(II)
has a POINT!
WEBMASTER
used SELF-PITY
NIGHT VERSION
died!
...Uhh...
sorry... just let me live for once, ok?!!
NIGHT VERSION
was RECREATED!
Yay! Now I
actually get my own battle for once!
Wait... how
long is Night Version going to last this time?
EXACTLY FOURTEEN
DAYS!
...Was that
a joke, or was that just being honest?
NARRATOR has
NO IDEA!
Great... is
there anywhere else I can go to get a battle?
NARRATOR notes
that MELISSA(II) is an EXTRA EVERYWHERE ELSE!
That's not
fair in the slightest... but then, Narrator's are known for cheating...
NARRATOR feels
GUILTY!
NIGHT VERSION-
It dies again,
and I'm going on strike.
MELISSA(II)
wins!
I won? Won
what?
NIGHT VERSION
NEO now has BATTLE #1 COMPLETED!
Oh, so basically,
the webmaster hasn't changed his habit of writing battles that just cut
under the requirements, I take it.
Yep.
Figures...
I'm never going to get my own battle...
Battle
#2: Not Really A Battle, Just A Bunch Of Stuff
Setting:
Webmasterly Waiting Room (of Death?)
Date:
21/1/2002
Player:
DustinP [ Record:
0-0-0] Last appearance: The Green Room
Ahh... what
a nice day it is today... Don't know why I'm pointing that out, but ehh...
Now then...
what to do today, what to do today...
NIGHT VERSION
needs UPDATE BADLY!
Ok, first
that pun's been used before, and second... wait, I only have an hour...
reminds me of the good old days.
MOTHER appeared!
MOTHER: We're
going out to your favorite place for lunch today! However, the only way
to go is to abandon you website.
No... not
after I revived it and it got ignored last week! I must get this written!!!!!
MOTHER: ABANDON
THE DAMN WEBSITE! IN THE NAME OF TAPPAN-YAKI!
No... I can't...
MOTHER: Then
CHOOSE what to eat!
...What?
MOTHER: Choose
what you'd like to eat.
Agh... that's
a cheap shot... you know I'm indecisive.... You're using up all my time!
MOTHER ran
away to eat TAPPAN-YAKI for THREE HOURS!
...Well, at
least that gives me some time...
DUSTINP connected
to INTERNET
Ahh... safety...
RDAD appeared!
RDAD?
RUSS DISGUISED
AS DEB!
...Ohh...
ok, it's Deb...
RDAD: I'm
looking for kawaii characters to make my own version out of kawaii paper-mache,
which is kawaii!
Uhh... ok,
Deb... but I thought you weren't going to make a Version?
RDAD: o_0
I'm not. Russ gave me Orange Version, so I'm putting a bunch of characters
on it and calling it my own version...
...Uhh...
not going to say it...
Anyways, I
know a few characters you can have...
Let's see...
first, we've got Nightpuff...
RDAD: W00T,
JIGGLYPUFF SLU- err... kawaii yo!
Uhh... yeah,
whatever... second, we've got 12 assorted extras from the Doompuff Battle
Day that never was, some of which are female...
RDAD: BAR
WENCHES!
What was that,
Deb?
RDAD: 0_o
I didn't say anything.
Finally, I've
got the BPMC
RDAD: BPMC?
Yep, my Blue
Paper-Mache Cat. I made it when I was five... it's basically a bottle with
an inflated balloon blocking it, which was then taped to the bottle, covered
with Paper-Mache, and painted blue...
RDAD: Uhh...
You don't
even have to use it for anything... just keep it around, you never know
when you'll need a blue paper-mache cat.
RDAD: ...'Kay,
I guess...
And now...
here are your characters, plus a text file saying the names of all the
extras... I've forgotten their own names by now, so...
NIGHTPUFF,
12 EXTRAS, BLUE PAPER-MACHE CAT, AND TEXT FILE APPEARED IN ORANGE VERSION!
That good
enough for now?
RDAD: Yep.
RDAD disappeared!
And now...
time to update.
Battle
#3: Yet Another 20-Line Piece Where Stuff Happens
Setting:
Night Version Neo: Narita/Tokyo section
Date:
27/1/2002
Player:
Tatsuzou Sudou [
Record: ?-4-0] Last appearance: None, considering I got
the name wrong
NIGHT
VERSION NEO needs a VILLAIN!
DUSTINP is
LAZY, AS USUAL!
TATSUZOU SUDOU
appeared!
...Voices?
...
Voices!
...
VOICESVOICESVOICESVOICESVOICES!
NARRATOR needs
to find a character with some INTELLIGENCE!
NARRATOR LEAVES!
Wait... don't
leave me behind, voices...
Player:
Neo [ Record: 100-10-0]
Last
appearance: Digitmon: V-Tamers
NEO appeared!
...Great,
NOW where am I... this is all a sick joke...
NEO FROM THE
MATRIX?!!!
...YOU DARE
MOCK ME?!!!
BEWARE, FOR
I AM FAR BEYOND THE NEO OF SOME STUPID MOVIE! I AM THE BRINGER OF CHAOS,
THE SYMBOL OF DESTRUCTION, A LORD OVER ALL MONSTERS!!!!
NEO is a DEVIL
SUMMONER!
Ehh... close
enough, I guess...
I've been
trapped in this weird dimension which seems... disturbingly similar to
my home-world, just different because of that damn Taichi... TAICHI!!!!!!!
I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU FOR THIS!!!!!
NEO becomes
NIGHT VERSION NEO: VILLAIN #1!
Yes! I am
number 1! I'm always number 1! Take that, Taichi! I'm number 1!
NEO MUST NOW
STAY IN NIGHT VERSION UNTIL DECAPITATED BY PROFESSOR OAK!
...Damn you,
Taichi... I will get my revenge... just you wait...
Battle
#4: Will this battle be over 30 lines? Chances are... no.
Setting:
Generic Field of Night
Date:
4/2/2002Player: Genkurou [
Record: ?-?-?] Last appearance: Unwritten
Well... about
time a hero has made an appearance in here...
GENKUROU is
CORRECT, but in ANIME, VILLAINS always APPEAR FIRST!
So Russ is
a villain then? I always knew the pervert was up to something...
Hey! Wait,
is Keisha coming in too?
WEBMASTER
wishes to rid himself of the BESTIAL PEDOPHELIAC IMAGE!
But love knows
no age! ...or species for that matter...
WEBMASTER
does not care!
But... she's
my fiancé
DUSTINP: From
here on, YOU ARE HEREBY ENGAGED TO PROFESSOR OAK!
Oh, so gender's
fine, but age isn't? Bloody hypocrit...
DUSTINP: Hey,
I'm considered a Bestial Pedopheliac, not a homosexual.
Great... bloody
convenient... from now on, I am hereby calling the Webmaster gay.
ROYAL MIYUKI
DEFENSE FORCE appeared!
GENKUROU GASPS!
It can't be...
a long name... that's NOT AN ACRONYM?!!! The world is doomed!
...
ROYAL MIYUKI
DEFENSE FORCE left!
AKUNO appeared!
Uhh... hey...
aren't you supposed to be destroying the world or something?
AKUNO begins
crying!
Hey, what's
the matter, uber-death guy that's tried to kill me thousands of times?
AKUNO: The
Webmaster turned my wife into Professor Oak...
...Wait...
he turned your ermine into Professor Oak?
AKUNO nods!
...Bastard.
BASTARD SWORD
falls from the HEAVENS!
...Ok, that
was a REALLY bad pun.
NARRATIONAL
RULE #319Y621920983610983: EVERY VERSION MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE BAD PUN
EVERY FIVE BATTLES.
I thought
we already had a bad pun?
SUCH THINGS
DO NOT MATTER!
...Bleh...
well, Akuno, let's just wander around aimlessly, kill the bad guys, and
get out of this stupid thing.
Battle
#5: This battle... sucks? Probably.
Setting:
Yet Another Generic Field (at Night)
Date:
11/2/2002Player: Genkurou [
Record: ?-?-?] Last appearance: Last Battle
Yay... another
battle starring me... don't you have other characters to use?
NARRATOR notes
that GENKUROU and AKUNO are the ONLY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS HERE!
...Damn, it
has a point...
AKUNO: Come
on! We have to find a way to turn Professor Oak back into an Ermine!
...You know,
if someone read this battle first, they'd think this place is insane...
and I get the feeling that that's accurate...
AKUNO AND
GENKUROU have now appeared IN TWO BATTLES!!!
AKUNO AND
GENKUROU are SIGNED UP FOR THE BIG-UBER DEATH BATTLE WHERE EVERYONE DIES...
err... THE LOVE THEY WEBMASTER COMPETITION THINGIE!
Well, it's
probably better than being here...
TATSUZOU SUDOU
appeared!
Oh, hey. It's
the evil villain... now, you're copyrighted, aren't you? Or are you someone
elses original character? I can't remember such things...
TATSUZOU SUDOU:
Yeah! I'm from the game PERSONA 2! BOTH OF THEM!
...Nope, doesn't
ring a bell.
TATSUZOU SUDOU:
The Webmaster's obsessed with it!
He obsesses
about a lot of things... but nope, still don't remember you...
TATSUZOU SUDOU:
Grr... I'll make you remember! If THIS GUY doesn't eat you, come to the
SKY MUSEUM!
...Such a
place exists? And who the hell is this guy?
TATSUZOU SUDOU
DISAPPEARS IN A PURPLE CIRCLE!
...That was
pointless... but I'd still like to know who "This Guy" is...
DEREK "THIS
GUY" JONES appeared!
Oh, god...
now you're doing parodies of Red Version...
DEREK "THIS
GUY" JONES was renamed to PURPLISH DOOMPUFF!
Uhh... should
I be screaming in terror right now, or commenting on how overused that
is?
PREFERABLY
BOTH!
Ok then...
I'll just sit here and act like it isn't there...
PURPLISH DOOMPUFF
used EAT!
GENKUROU used
SIT!
EAT FLEW OVER
GENKUROU'S HEAD!
Uhh... what?
REFLECTIVE
MIRROR appeared!
EAT REFLECTED
OFF OF REFLECTIVE MIRROR!
EAT FLEW OVER
GENKUROU'S HEAD!
PURPLISH DOOMPUFF
ate PURPLISH DOOMPUFF!
Uhh... ick...
yet somewhat paradoxical.
INSIDE/OUT
DOOMPUFF began GROWING!
...ok, now
it sounds like the Narrator's on some drugs... but it doesn't have a body,
and is therefore incapable of taking drugs, isn't it?
I/O DOOMPUFF
continues to GROW!
And I'm betting
that the webmaster's writing this while trying to find some hentai for
Nova from the Magic Knight Rayearth series, despite despising the idea
that hentai should be used for anything but world domination!
I/O DOOMPUFF
GREW TO THE SIZE OF THE AREA!
I/O DOOMPUFF
was RENAMED TO PARADOX ZONE!!!!!!!!!
...Bold? What
the hell is BOLD doing on here?
PARADOX
ZONE!!!!!!!! began floating AWAY!
And so we
ended up with yet another pointless battle, right, Akuno?
AKUNO: MY
WIFE'S PROFESSOR OAK!!!!!!!
AKUNO begins
CRYING!
...Joy...
I hate my life. |