Battle Four: haunter_uk may be transparent, but he still exists :o
Date: No thanks. I'm happy being sin-- Err... 26th August 2002
Setting: None, actually.
Player: No thanks
Author: haunter_uk (minor changes by MetalMike)

Hmm...
You're actually WRITING one of these things?
NARRATOR was BEGINNING to THINK that you were as MYTHICAL as the LEPRECHAUN THING!
We persuaded him to work...
Yeah... All the Sugar's in an ethereal proof reality.
Do you even know what that is?
No.
....Wait.... We only have ONE reality full of Sugar?
No, we have our private ones...
And mine!
Besides.. We're using the Storm moddle for a three webby version, correct?
That reminds me. I have been disturbed by Jason claiming we are a Storm parody, which is nonsense. Any and all resemblence to Storm found within this version is entirely coincidental.
So, that's a "yes" then.
...Only if there are none of Storm's lawers around.
Well... In that case, we've got PJ and you who can do most of the writing, and me... Who just writes every once in a while to prove he actually exists. Perfect.
...In other words...?
I'm a lazy arse who's only in here for the Sugar... And tax benifits of needing to be in four versions at once.
We get tax-benifits?
Only if you know how to play the forms.
You two do know we're recording, right?
...
...This place is IRS proof, right?
The devices haven't been tested yet...
.....hide me :'(

Setting - Ten minutes later, PJ's underwear draw.

...When I said hide me... I didn't mean in PJ's underwear draw X_x;;
Relax, none of this stuff's been washed within a year, not even the IRS will be able to go near it.
I noticed X_x;;
Hell, I bet this stuff has the power to raise the dead.
....Oh just great X_x;;;
DIRTY UNDERWEAR used DEAD RAISER!
HAUNTER_UK--
NO CAPS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
...Fine... haunter_uk was FULLY RAISED!
...with YEAST!
And those cool little sesame seeds too ^.^
Ahh... Perfect... I'd just run out of bread for my sugar sandwiches.
...help me ;_;

Setting: 30 minutes later, Outside An Oven.

....
Now... How do we make bread again...?
Sugar and risen thing, I think...
You stupid id-- Yes, that's how you make bread.
Great.. Lets do this!
Right!
METALMIKE put HAUNTER--
NO CAPS GODDEMNIT!
NARRATOR put DUCT-TAPE over haunter_uk's mouth!
METALMIKE put HAUNTER_UK in OVEN!
PJ put SUGAR in OVEN!
...You think 12 hours at 1000 degrees should do it?
Should do.
MM turned on OVEN!
MM will pick OVEN up at EIGHT!
...
So, where you two going on your hot date?
...Oh... and OVEN is BAKING HAUNTER_UK and SUGAR!
DUCT-TAPE fainted!
I'm shocked.
...Yeah... I thought it was invincible.

Setting: 11 hours, 59 minutes later, Outside An Oven

So, An, are you in anyway related to Anne Robbinson, or is it just coi--
OVEN: BEEPBEEPBEEP
Bread's ready ^_^
TOASTY HAUNT--
NO CAPS GODDEMNIT TO CARNATIONS!
...That might be more effective if it wasn't in caps itself...
Oh shut up.
TOASTY haunter_uk emerged!
...What happened to the sugar?
*burp*
...DIE!
PSYCHIC JACK wants to fight!
HA--
DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE GOD-
HANDY crash of THUNDER is heard!
...We're child friendly. :D
haunter_uk fainted!
...Who's writing this battle now, then?
I am!
Why!?
Just so I can bet you a buck I could shove a half dollar in his eye socket!
Deal.
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Battle Three: I know Pokebattles like the...ear of my hand. Which is why this sucks. O_o
Date: August 25, 2002
Setting: Storm Leprechaun HQ
Player: Why? O_o
Author: MetalMike

Why is the sugar machine rigged to have to accept money?
I told you not to let Kite install it -.-;
Whatever. Anyone got a quarter?
Yea. Your ear and your-uh-other ear. Yea.
Uhm...PJ, was that an attempt at an insult?
...PJ?
PJ is A SHEEP!
Er...ASLEEP!
Oh yay, more Storm jokes.

Setting: PsychicJack's Dream
Dream-Setting: Sugar World

Wow! An entire world made of sugar!
This is going to be a LONG day...
PSYCHICJACK roams the streets of SUGAR TOWN!
Toby...Toby...
Wrong dream dude :o
Oh...sorry...
Oooh! Video games! And they're for the SugarCube too :D
Sugar Smash Brothers Melee...Sugar Adventure 2 Battle...
Jack....Jack...
hm...My name's Homer!
Oh right...Homer...Homer...
I'll just ignore it. It's not even calling for me.
PSYCHICJACK looks around!
Huh? Where am I?
PSYCHICJACK is standing on a giant sugar cube in a giant CUP!
Uhm...
GIANT SHEEP reaches for cube!
...Oh, sugar.
GIANT TOBY is A SHEEP!
Er...ASLEEP!
GIANT TOBY: ....tea...
AHH! IT'S AWFUL! WAKE WAKE WAKE WAKE
PSYCHICJACK woke up!
Homer!
What?
A giant monster is rampaging through Tokyo!
What else is new..
No, seriously, this is major! Leprechaun doesn't even have a Tokyo, so-
Uhm, so how is it rampaging through Tokyo if we don't have one!?
...
...
IT JUST IS! NOW LISTEN!
Do you even believe what your saying or are you playing a game of Mad Libs in your head?
My mind isn't big enough to remember what I write for Mad Libs.
Oh.
So I just make stuff up. :D
PSYCHICJACK used SIGH!
AIR was EXPELLED from PSYCHICJACK's MOUTH!
AIR pays tuition for PSYCHICJACK's EAR!
AIR is accepted!
Um, can we do something?
Like what?
Like...make characters. O_o
We don't need characters. Just look.
DOMINGO is seen RUNNING HIS SUGAR COMPANY!
MRKITE is seen CRASHING ANOTHER LEPRECHAUN CAR!
TOBY is seen EATING GRASS! AND DRINKING COFFEE!
DUO is seen KILLING the DIRECTOR who came up with 'THE AMBIGIUOSLY GAY DUO!'
DITTO is seen EATING DONUTS, PIE, and BAKED ALASKA!
SKYLER is seen STABBING COWS thinking he's BREAKING MIRRORS!
CHARGON is seen DRINKING B33R and surfing SWORDS-ONLINE.COM!
Alright, Alright! So we have lots of characters. But there's only so much you can do with that! It's limited!
Nah, just look at storm.
They at least have green-text sheep.
Did I inform you that I USED to be a BLUE-TEXT SHEEP?
...
Only kidding.
Phew, I was hoping we wouldn't stoop so lo-
Actually, BLUE-TEXT SHEEP is over there playing hockey.
Bah! x.^
It's from CANADA.
Bah.
Well, if you wont make a character, I will!
You? Your last character was the...webmaster of this version. O_o;;;
Yes. Only I was more michevious before I watched Mike and Conar die.
Well, your last character was a 'girl'!
What's wrong with that?
Absolutley nothing.
Well, if you want to make a character, go use the mac in the sugar crate.
PSYCHICJACK rifles through sugar packets!
Uh, where?
Right there!
I just see a bunch of sugar packets!
It IS the sugar packets.
METALMIKE presses one of the packets!
PACKETS turn on!
Trust Domingo to make something like this o.o;;;;;;;;
Anyway
Battle has gone too long!
*fizzle*
Like soda! and caffiene! and SUGAR!
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Battle Two: Requires 3d accelerator
Date: July 30, 2002
Setting: Green Fields
Player: Jango Ze French Fett
Author: MetalMike

En garde!
What the HELL!?
Où suis-je?
YOU, lucky FRENCH PERSON, have landed yourself in LEPRECHAUN VERSION!
Et est-ce que que, je peux demander, est celui? 
Stop talking in French, I don't understand you.
Le Français est la seule langue que je sais. C'est pourquoi je suis Jango le Fett français. 
Uh...Mike? Do you know French?
No. Where's Wonko when you need him?
I can UNDERSTAND HIM!
Oh, good. Because these two people who call themselves webmasters don't.
Where's haunter?
Oh, he's out there somewhere. He said he has to go see a man about a monkey.
Okay then.
Maintenant je souhaite chacun mourir, merci.
HE just said he WANTS you all to DIE!
NARRATOR chooses to have a little FUN with this battle...

Setting: Train

JANGO ZE FRENCH FETT is sitting in the TRAIN!
Why the hell am I outside the door with a mask and a gun!?
You ph00l! It's a train robbery!
Hey, YOU're supposed to be stupid.
MIKE and JACK enter TRAIN!
What do I say!?
I don't know, I don't know what we're supposed to be robbing!
Um...give us all your valuables!
Brilliant!
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: We dun have no valley bulls, but we do have a whole load of gohald.
...gohald?
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Yea, that metal stuff-
Gold!?!
PSYCHICJACK runs to the CAR BEHIND!
VALLEY BULLS charge!
TRAIN CONDUCTOR: Heh heh, just kiddin'.
JANGO ZE FRENCH FETT lost his hat when the BULLS CHARGED!
PSYCHICJACK phased and was unharmed!
METALMIKE...just stood there and let all the bulls slam into him!
Are you stupid?
No, just pretty damn confident. 
BULLS fainted!
Iron coats work.
JANGO ZE FRENCH FETT is ANGRY for the loss of his COOL LOOKING CROSS-BETWEEN-A-BERET-AND-A-JANGO-FETT-HELMET!
Wait a second, no self respecting narrator would use hyphens!
NARRATOR:...aw, crap.
NARRATOR was renamed DEB!
...Deb speaks French?
I don't know, but she speaks anything Jango does, that's close enough.
So she has a fetish for Fettish?
DEB turns JANGO ZE FRENCH FETT into a plushie!
DEB grabs PLUSHIE and runs away!
Now we have to find what the hell happened to the normal narrator...

Setting: Cave-like place

How'd we get here?
I put you here. I'm the webmaster. Need I say more?
NARRATOR is seen TIED up!
NARRATOR: mmmph-f--fmmf-
How the hell do you tie up a voice anyway?
HAUNTER_UK floats through the wall!
Hey, haunter, did you take care of that monkey business?
NARRATOR: MFFFF--FFMFMFMPPHFHMMF!!!!!!
Yes, I did. Turns out this guy just needed a monkey taken out of his tree.
So he called you?
Hey, I can float.
NARRATOR: CFHN YOFHNU PLEFFHEASE UNTIDFJCE MEFHFH
What was that?
Nothing.
Okay.
NARRATOR breaks out himself!
Oh, there you are narrator. Lets get out of here!
Damn, the BQ is low in this battle...wait, I know!!!!
Coffee.
Coffee.
Coffee. 
There, now we're using a time tested storm tactic.
LEPRECHAUN MOBILE VI drove up!
...we're on the second battle and our sixth car?
Remember, Mike? Kite happened to be the car tester for Leprechaun. After he wrecked the first three we tried Chargon and tied a beer can to a fishing pole and attached it to the winsheild. Worked great but he just wouldn't stop the car, and then-
Yes, I remember, Jack. Oy.
You know, we havent had a single sugar joke through this entire battle.
...
...
JACK and MIKE show off their HUGE backpacks FULL of tiny little sugar packets!

Setting: Webmaster Headquarters

Here we are!
MIKE, JACK and HAUNTER exit car!
Aren't you forgetting something?
No.
Those backpacks of sugar packets.
Oh.
Yes.
We ate it.
What!? You ate all that on the ride here!?
They're tiny little packets!
You had 2 whole backpacks full of them!
...but they're tiny!
STRANGE....WEBMASTERS seem to be quite...JUMPY!
Sugar rush?
From tiny packets!?
AND the COW jumps over the MOON, HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

The End.

View/Post Comments on Battle #2

Battle One: No. We don’t like you. 
Date: Who Cares?...Actually it's July 24th 2002 
Setting: Grean Feelds 
Player: Who needs a player? We have enough other colors. 
Author: Psychic Jack. 

Why is Green Fields spelled wrong? 
Hey, who invited you? 
Yeah, you little elephant dropping midget! 
How’d you get us here anyway? 
HAUNTER_UK, PSYCHIC JACK and METALMIKE are angry!
HAUNTER_UK, PSYCHIC JACK and METALMIKE want to fight!
I sure am glad that I’m the webmaster of this place, even though I don’t really exist as a person… 
HAUNTER_UK, PSYCHIC JACK and METALMIKE are tied to FLAMING CHAIRS! 
Flaming… chairs? Is that the name of a band? 
I don’t know, but it’s times like these that I feel like standing! 
Help guys! I’m melting! 
No thanks. 
Heheh. . 

Meanwhile, back in the other Versions… 

Setting: Ghost Version 

I wonder how the person I was cloned from is doing… . 

Setting: Blood Version

I wonder how the person I was cloned from is doing…

Setting: Cold Version 

I wonder how my clone is doing…

Setting: Grean Feelds- Leprechaun Version . 

For some reason, I feel so smart right now… 
HAUNTER_UK pulls out a TANK of GASOLENE! 
I just can’t figure it out… 
HAUNTER_UK pours the TANK of GASOLENE on MIKE! 
Could it be because… no… 
METALMIKE SCREAMS in AGONY! 

Setting: Agony 

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

Setting: Grean Feelds- Leprechaun Version 

Okay, so I’m listening to Psychic Jack. But what’s so bad about torturing Mike? 
I can’t wait until I write the Leprechaun battle… 
I’ve never had so much fun torturing someone before… 
Um… Haunter writes next battle!
¬_¬...don’t volunteer me…
I write the next battle! :D
Being nonexistent is fun! I can do a lot more things than real people can… 
I’LL DROWN YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, JACK! 

Author: MetalMike

O_O
O_O
Awwww.....crap.
PUDDLEMIKE is ANGRY!
...I dont appreciate being called PuddleMike, you mass produced narrator.
..Hey, I'm UNIQUE!
NARRATOR shows off his UNIQUE SERIAL NUMBER!
Yea, well...
METALMIKE got out of CHAIR!
Noooo! Metal Mik-
-.-;
PSYCHICJACK was pushed into CHAIR!
FLAMING CHAIRS became FLAMING SH*T!
HOLY SH-...UH...
If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me......>_< I'd be five cents richer.

<Valefor> Ok that was pointless
<Domingo> that's the point

Hah, f00ls, trying to torture me =D
You know...I'm a ghost. So why the hell am I stapped to Dung Flambé?
HAUNTER_UK used TRANSPARANCY!
Eh, why didnt you use that before?
Probably because PsychicJack was the author and he's too stupid to realise that.
Hey! Let me out of here so I can hurt you!
See what I mean ¬_¬
Now we need some kind of drink we're obsessed with...otherwise we wont be an official three webmaster version.
OR you could just let me out of here.
W00T. N0.
SUGAR.
...How the @#$% is that a drink?
...How exactly do you SAY @#$% anyway? "AtPoundSignDollarSignPercentSign" O_o;
Yea, well that too.
Wait! I just realised that being strapped to crap doesnt do much, since crap falls apart!
See, again  ¬_¬
It's on fire, it's different.
Oh.
¬_¬
Hm, Bass is still dumber, PJ. Dun worry!
...Is he too dumb to feel pain? Because I've been burning for awhile now and I'm not hurting or anything.
...
...
...uh...guys...I dun want to be dumb.
...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNN~
...
...
Urrh, and you're supposed to be webmasters?
...got any shoes?

<RarrmanX6> Widdle Dee Widdle Dee, destroy the Jews har har says me! -Leprechaun Hitler!!!!
 View/Post Comments on Battle #1