LIGHT BATTLE ARCHIVES 1-5

Battles #1-#5 Battle #6-10 Light Version Records Here are the records for my battles...check the home page for more info. Nothing Here Yet. Be Patient. o.o;;

Color Key: Narration / Charactor Battle #16-Link's Day Off...heh August 14th, 2000 Player: Peach [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Plum *sigh* Where is Mario? I'm still waiting... PEACH is waiting! Yes, yes, yes... TOAD is waiting! *yawn* LUIGI is waiting! Oh, this is getting boring! You've been just saying that for months and months, Narrator! Aren't you EVER going to make ANYTHING happen? LINK appeared! Eh? Oh, hi. LINK thought LINK was going to star in this battle! NARRATOR recieved BRIBE! What? NO! Player: Link [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Pots Ah...much better. LINK is in TEMPLE OF TIME! Hmm...let's see what happens if I do that strange trick that shady guy Skyler showed me... LINK used CHEAT CODE! GAME screwed up! Huh? DEAD MONKEY flew by followed by NABOORU, propelled by FARTS, and kills ZELDA and GANON! NOOOO! Zelda! DEAD MONKEY! MONKEY, MONKEY, MONKEY! ?? Err...sorry. DEAD MONKEY died! GANON died! ZELDA died! LINK ate grass! EPONA teleported to a BAR! What the hecks going on? ZELDA woke up! Oh! You're alive! ZELDA's eyes glowed evilly! LAVOS FINAL BATTLE music started up! Lavo? Eh? I hate being such a naive and characterless character...*sigh* That's contradictory, you know! Whatever. Sit down and shut up! I can't, I'm eating grass! WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT! NAVI died! WHAT! NO WAY! HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DID THE CODE! Yep. Thanks, man. She was SO annoying... No problem. Actually... NARRATOR recieved BIGGER BRIBE! Mucho better. DEAD ZELDA wants to fight! Hey! What did I just bribe you for? Nothin'. I just like messing with your mind. WHO ARE YOU? The other Narrator's on vacation... Eh? How'd you know about that! I thought you were naive and foolish! That's what YOU thought! Yes! I know! That's what I said! No, it's what you thought! ...or is that what you thought you said? ARGGH! SHUT UP! Why should I? LINK recieved DAMAGE! Oh, sure. Turn this into a fight. IT IS A FIGHT! Now you're yelling. *yawn* Tell me when you calm down. ZELDA used LINK! LINK was LINKED! I feel so used... As do most POKEMON! I'm not a Pokemon. Tell that to...well, anyone! I don't make the rules around here! Actually, you do. Really? Cool! NARRATOR recieved GREEN text! NARRATOR recieved RED text! Huh? or, the webmaster does... ARGH! I don't care!!! DEAD ZELDA used POWER BLAST! Deflect LINK swung SWORD! BLAST bounced back! DEAD ZELDA exploded in a shower of blood! UGH! Nooooooo! Zelda, my sweet! I can't believe I did that! NO! MARIO appeared! Mario? MARIO used MUSHROOM! ZELDA revived! GANON appeared! MARIO used MEGA PUNCH! GANON died! Woah! Mario rules! But this is all a clever ruse to take my attention away from the Narrator. MARIO: Narrator? What Narrator? Uh-uh. Mario didn't say that. You just said 'Mario Narrator? What Narrator?' You aren't fooling ME! LINK was fooled! Hey! Was not! LINK recieved BLACK text! SCREW YOU! I can't hear you... I know something you don't know... What? Did I just hear a whisper? Guess not...guess it was just the wind... I know why you kill rabbits! Hum, hum, ho hum. It's because-- And so, THE BATTLE ENDS NOW!! Hehee, gotcha. WAR Battle #17-War of the Princesses August 16th, 2000 Player: Zelda [0-1-1] Last Battle: Died and came back from the dead thanks to Mario ZELDA looked over SHIP's BROW! ...there it is. Ahead, full power. SHIP is at FULL POWER! ... ZELDA? What? Sorry. Just thinking. Everyone ready? LINK says YES! MARIO says ARR! Arr? MARIO is PIRATE MARIO! Arr! ... MARIO shuts up! Thank you. LINK is happy you are ALIVE again! Let's focus here. I see the castle. Player: Peach [1-0-1] Last Battle: Did absolutely nothing, just talked a lot I see the boat. PEACH is looking over BROW of LUIGI! LUIGI is very VERY good at arching EYEBROW! Out of the way...*sigh* LUIGI moved out of WAY! LUIGI fell down CASTLE WALL! LUIGI fainted! I lose my best Pokemon that way! TOAD, however, is not HIGH enough to reach CASTLE WALL TOP! Excellent. Ready the cannons! BOB-OMBS climbed into CANNONS! ...Ready... BOB-OMBS already are! ...Set... BOB-OMBS used EXPLOSION! Critical hit! WALLS took severe damage! NO! Argh...let's try that again... Player: Princess [0-0-0] No Record PRINCESS is getting CHARGED UP! Exactly! Soon...soon...SOON! Soon WHAT? Soon I will destroy the Powerpuff Girls! This is war of the PRINCESSES! Oh, that's right. They don't deserve my wrath!...then who? Don't you know any other PRINCESSES? Of course I do! ME! That's not ANOTHER one! NARRATOR grows tired of this scene! SCENE SWITCH ocurred! Player: Zelda WALLS are crumbling, badly! ...did we fire yet? NO! BOB-OMBS are exploding! ...I never thought they were that destructive. I mean, they only have explosive radiuses about 3-foot in diameter.... LINK wants to fight! Fight?? Wait until we get there! LINK sent out FAIRY BOW! Oh......yes. MARIO wants to fight! You have a bow, too? MARIO used MEGA PUNCH! MARIO fell OVERBOARD! Well, bye. Have a nice swim! BARRACUDAS are enjoying a nice swim TOO! MARIO, however...fainted! Well, enough! Link, fire! LINK used FIRE ARROWS! SHIP caught on fire! Ack! LINK guesses he doesn't have quite as long a range as he thought... Player: Marle [0-0-0] No Record ZELDA hit LINK with heavy MACHINERY! Hmm...I think I'll sit this one out. After all, the writer's never played Crono Trigger. I shall manipulate them from behind the scenes...hahahahahaha! MARLE cackled EVILLY! ROBO beeped EVILLY! LUCCA snorted EVILLY! Quiet, you. LUCCA wants to fight! Good, getting warmed up. ...you! Even better! Player: Peach Nooooooooo! CASTLE crumbled to DUST! I knew I should have told them to fire AFTER telling them to explode. TOAD is on fire! Having fun? TOAD is HOT tonight! Well, calm down. Zelda will be here soon! TOAD is WARMING UP! Great. TOAD fainted! HUH??? Why? He looked fine to me! Oh, well. Get the Koopas ready! KOOPA CANNONS ready! Excellent. KOOPA CANNONS were fired! TURTLE SHELLS flew through the air! TURTLE SHELLS hit FLAMING BOAT! FLAMING TURTLE SHELLS hit WATER! TURTLES were eaten by vicious PIRANNHAS! ZELDA is angry! ZELDA used MYSTICAL POWERS! PIRANHAS started flying! PIRANHAS are eating CASTLE! Hmm...methinks a new strategy will be necessary! PIRANHA is eating PEACH's ARM! AIEEEEEEE! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! Player: Zelda Ha! Take that, you snob of a princess! I can't believe you did that to poor little Plum! LINK points out that ZELDA chained PLUM up in the GALLEY! Well, she deserved it. Let's put little miss princess on ICE, what do you say? LINK fired ICE ARROWS! SHIP ran aground! ZELDA was pitched overboard! OW! What happened? WATER froze! You...little... LINK sweatdropped! LINK looked between FLAMING SHIP, PIRANNHAS, and ZELDA! I thought they were barracudas. Oh, well...Plot holes are a regular occurance in Light Version... LINK jumped into WATER! LINK was devoured by PIRANNHAS! LINK died! ...woah. ...I never expected that. LINK is alive! ................I HATE FAIRIES SOOOO MUCH! KOOPA SHELLS approached ZELDA! Ah, yes. ZELDA used OCARINA OF TIME! ZELDA played EPONA'S SONG! EPONA approached ICE! EPONA stopped! EPONA neighed! Stupid horse! However, ZELDA recieved MILK! Yay! Drink it! ZELDA drank MILK! ZELDA got MILK MUSTACHE! ...and? AND ZELDA was hit with KOOPA SHELLS! ZELDA fell through ICE! Got MILK? Player: Peach PIRANNHAS started FEEDING FRENZY on ZELDA! Heehee...that was too easy. PEACH needs ARMS, badly! AIEEEEEEEE! PEACH screeched! CASTLE FLOORS collapsed! PEACH is in critical condition! FLYING PIRANNHAS fainted! *gasp*...*gasp* I won! HAHAHA! PRINCESS appeared! Player: Princess PRINCESS appeared! I sure did. This is my castle, now. PEACH says this is HER castle! No, it's mine. PEACH points out that it is HER castle!!!!!!! WELL, IT'S NOT SO SHUT UP! PEACH used SLAP! PEACH missed! PEACH called PRINCESS shortie! Grrrrr....rr.... PRINCESS growled! PEACH laughed! DADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Player: Peach PRINCESS ran away! Ah, great. GRUNTILDA appeared! EWWW! This is supposed to be the PRINCESS war! GRUNTILDA will be a princess...when PEACH loses her BEAUTY! You did that already. To Tooty. GRUNTILDA does not care! GRUNTILDA had to wait for FIFTY FREAKIN' HOURS of GAME PLAY just for BANJO-KAZOOIE to DEFEAT her! GRUNTILDA has had ENOUGH! GRUNTILDA wants to fight! Haha....go me! PEACH sent out PEACH! GRUNTILDA sent out BROOM! BROOM used FWAP! PEACH fainted! I...what? PEACH is unconscious! NO! NO! I refuse to accept that! PEACH recieved NO text! ... See? PEACH lost! Player: Marle LUCCA fainted! Excellent! Do ALL evil PRINCESSES say that? EVIL????? ...uh...beautiful? ...better. Now, the time is ripe to attack! *chuckle* .....I'm going to count to 10...and if I'm not fighting another princess... MECHA-PRINCESS appeared! Great! MECHA-PRINCESS destroyed TOKYO! Eh? Player: Princess Good... MECHA-PRINCESS delivered EASTER EGGS! Good... MECHA-PRINCESS defeated the EVIL CYCLOPS at the top of DOOMSDAY MOUNTAIN! Good........how many more things do I have to do before I can fight? None, I was just having fun there. Fine! I don't care! With my daddy's machine, I can easily win! MARLE wants to fight! MARLE used CROSSBOW! MECHA-PRINCESS used BOOM SHAKKA DEATH! Hmm. CROSSBOW died! That's all? Time for...the vicious STOMP! MECHA-PRINCESS used STOMP! MARLE withdrew MARLE! MARLE sent out ROBO! ROBO fell into CREVICE! ROBO: YOOOOUUUUUUU BIIIIIIT-- ROBO fainted! MARLE is in critical condition! Player: Marle What? WHY am I in critical condition??? Because MARLE is about to be ONE-HIT KOd! NARRATOR likes MARLE! NARRATOR is giving MARLE a chance! MECHA-PRINCESS aimed LAZER! Hmm...I will return... MARLE ran away! MECHA-PRINCESS used HOMING MISSILE! MARLE died! I told you so...*sigh* Oh, well. It never would have worked out. I'm a narrator, she's a player. MECHA-PRINCESS: Um..hello? Time for my victory! Oh, go away! I'm in grieving! MECHA-PRINCESS: FINE! I'll just BUY a Narrator! Go ahead! MECHA-PRINCESS bought NARRATOR! Player: Gruntilda [0-0-0] No Record NEW NARRATOR IS READY! Oh, great. A narrator who always capatilizes? This battle's like that ship that capsizes! Well, whatever. I will still win! Gruntilda is the queen of thin!...I wish. GRUNTILDA WANTS TO WIN! MECHA-PRINCESS appeared! MECHA-PRINCESS wants to fight! Hehehe! You and your little dog are about to faint. Then I will be the one...to not faint? PRINCESS does not own DOG! PRINCESS bought KENNEL! PRINCESS: Much better! Hey, why are you un-capatilizing now? ....something something that rhyms with now. PRINCESS: Cow? ... 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT! MECHA-PRINCESS: Union rules. It sures DOES! MECHA-PRINCESS used TURBO CANNON! Grunty Spin! Ooh, something else that rhymes with win! GRUNTILDA used GRUNTY SPIN! GRUNTY was hit on ALL SIDES while SPINNING! Aieeeeeee! That was a good hit indeed it was, now I'll smash you in the face! ...WAS doesn't remind with FACE! You won't provoke me you Narrator, you...oh, I can't concentrate while watching the Simpsons! Cackle...cackle... GRUNTILDA cackled! "SHE"'s so UN-funny it's SCARY! Now I'll show you true fright, behold my awesome...pimple! The word is MIGHT! GAWD! =P GRUNTILDA used PIMPLE GROWTH! Player: Princess EEEEEEEEK! GRUNTILDA's pimple grew up high! AHHHHHHH! GRUNTILDA's pimple is charging up! OOOOOHHHH! MECHA-PRINCESS was hurt by DISGUST! What? PIMPLE is evolving! PIMPLE evolved into...WART! EEEEEEEAAAAAAH! Leave me aloooone! WART exPLODEd! Warts explode? I thought it was pimples that explode. CRITICAL HIT! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE! It's...so...green... OOZE hit MECHA-PRINCESS hard! MECHA-PRINCESS collapsed! SPARKS flew! It can't...end...this way... MECHA-PRINCESS dropped to the ground, GANONDORF-style! Player: Gruntilda GRUNTILDA was hit with recoil! GRUNTILDA cackled! HEEHAAHEEEHAAHEEE! ...or brayed...Uh...right! Now, I am the winnner! MECHA-PRINCESS got up! SHADOWS fell over her FACE! Oh, dear. I fear... MECHA-PRINCESS charged through GRUNTILDA! GRUNTILDA fell slowly the ground, frame-by-frame, POWERPUFF GIRLS-style! GRUNTILDA fainted! MECHA-PRINCESS laughed maniacally! MECHA-PRINCESS flew up high! MECHA-PRINCESS fainted! AYEKA slowly walked onto the battlefield! AYEKA: Excellent. Now, I am QUEEN! AYEKA wins! AYEKA: what do I win? Nothing! You just win! AYEKA: That sucks. Yah. I'm off, my paycheck doesn't cover this. AYEKA: Say, who is the Princess's father, anyway? GIOVANNI, of course! GIOVANNI2 appeared! GIOVANNI2 laughed evilly! NARRATOR ran away! REAL NARRATOR appeared! ...what are YOU looking at? MARLE woke up! GIOVANNI2: He's in denial. AYEKA nodded! Oh, shut up. AYEKA and GIOVANNI2 died horrible, horrendous deaths! GIOVANNI2: Whatever. I've got a gig in the next battle. Adios. GIOVANNI2 ran away like a COWARD!!!!!!! AYEKA LOSES! ...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...*sniff* Wait, this isn't funny. AYEKA: ...true. Well, who wants punch lines? GIOVANNI2: Yah! I like nice, undramatic endings! AYEKA: Yeah. Yep. GIOVANNI2: Yeppers. AYEKA: Mmmhmm. Indeed. View/Post Comments on Light Battle #17-War of the Princesses Battle #18-Waddle! Waddle Like You've Never Waddled Before! August 18th, 2000 Player: Kirby [?-?-?] Last Battle: Ran away from Giovanni2, Machinedramon, and Doctor Doom What's up with the title? NARRATOR made it up WEEKS ago! Waddle, dee doo da, waddle, dee doo da... DOOMDOOMKIRBY is waddling along! Popular opening, eh Narrator? ....NARRATOR...uh...bored is! gah. Well, time for me to spring my chat! DOOMDOOMKIRBY used CHAT! GIOVANNI2, DOCTOR DOOM, and MACHINEDRAMON were invited to CHAT! DOOMDOOMKIRBY used KICK! GIOVANNI2 was kicked! DOOMDOOMKIRBY used KICK! MACHINEDRAMON was kicked! DOOMDOOMKIRBY used PUNCH! DOCTOR DOOM was punched! DOCTOR DOOM wants to fight! ...but DOCTOR DOOM was KICKED! Bwahaha! Hahaha! I love it! Wait, I meant trap. I'm springing my trap! DOOMDOOMKIRBY used TRAP! DOOMDOOMKIRBY was hit with SPRING! DOOMDOOMKIRBY's blasting off again! Hmm...not a good offensive move, but at least I've escaped. GIOVANNI2 used ROCKET PACK! PACK of ROCKETS threw GIOVANNI2! GIOVANNI2 is blasting off again! GIOVANNI2 points out that TEAM ROCKET is extremely subseptible to BLASTING OFF AGAIN! Weight. I've never blasted off before. How am I doing it again? FLASHBACK ocurred! *** deedeedee used hammer *** *** critical hit *** *** kirbys blasting off again*** FLASHBACK ended! Wow. You couldn't capitalize OR spell as a baby Narrator, could you? Actually, NARRATOR hasn't been around for more than a MONTH, but that FLASHBACK was convenient! FLASHFIRE stole FLASHBACK! FLASHFIRE put ITEMS in FLASHBACK! Booo...bad jokes... FLASHFIRE used FLASH! FLASHFIRE disappeared, SHEIK-style! Uh...where were you? Oh, yah! MACHINEDRAMON used HOMING MISSILE! MACHINEDRAMON climed onto HOMING MISSILE! MACHINEDRAMON homed in on DOOMDOOMKIRBY! MACHINEDRAMON is blasting off!......again! DOCTOR DOOM merely followed! How? Do not question DOOM! Why not? Do you dare question DOOM? Stop captilizing that!! His name is Vincent Von...something-or-other. DOCTOR DOOM: Actually, I think it's Van, but I gave up on my subscription to MARVEL COMICS back when I was imprisoned for all eternity in another DIMENSION. I wonder how I ever escaped from that DIMENSION...Oh, well. At least my hijinks in that other dimension will never be recorded. *is purposefully ignoring Doom's comments for the last three-four lines, depending on your viewer...maybe two, I dunno, I doubt one though*Er.....DOOM cares not for your ignorance! *also is ignoring, but not in that many words, clear, concise*Ah...I understand...he's your rolemodel, eh? ...no! Hehe. MACHINEDRAMON hit DOOMDOOMKIRBY! Ack! HOMING MISSILE exploded! Oh no! Am I gonna die now? Nope! HOMING MISSILE causes NAME SHORTENING! MACHINEDRAMON was renamed 'MON! 'MON cannot fly! 'MON fell! 'MON fainted! oh no! DOOMDOOMKIRBY was renamed D&D KIRBY! AHHhhhhh! HIDE! D&D KIRBY hid in a DUNGEONS & DRAGONS CONVENTION! All EYES turned to D&D KIRBY! ...except HAMMY's! Why did you mention him in this battle? To get this battle into CROSSOVER page! Heyy...that isn't fair... If TURQUOISE can put PPB in EVERY battle, so can NARRATOR! There seems to be something fundamentally wrong with the structure of that sentence! And why does every sentence have to end with an explanation point! D&D appeared! Huh? The game? NO! D&D KIRBY was thrown in DUNGEON! DOCTOR DOOM is happy! GIOVANNI2 sent out CHARIZARD! There's the DRAGON! Charizard's not a dragon, it is Fire/Flying. If CHARIZARD was FIRE/FLYING, ICE attacks would not be very EFFECTIVE against CHARIZARD! CONVENIENT NARRATOR STAGEHAND used ICE BEAM! It's super effective! CHARIZARD fainted! See? CHARIZARD must be.....hey, where'd you go? ...D&D KIRBY? CURSE his marshmallow hide! CLAW says that's CLAW's line! It needed restating. CLAW thinks you're just too LAZY to switch FONTS and constantly make the PLAYER vanish! CLAW pointed out end of WAR BATTLE above! ...I will now stop narrating what you do so no one will know what you say. HEY, LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS! Oh really? CLAW fainted! GIOVANNI2: Hey, what about me? GIOVANNI2 is still blasting off again! GIOVANNI2: ...And when will I land? GIOVANNI2 landed on RAZOR-SHARP SPIKE TRAP! SONIC the HEDGEFROG sped by! GIOVANNI2: Ow. SPIKES withdrew! GIOVANNI2: Yay! SPIKES were sent out! GIOVANNI2: Ow. SPIKES withdrew! GIOVANNI2: Yay. SPIKES were sent-- GIOVANNI2: LOOK, JUST CHANGE THE SCENES ALREADY SO I CAN SUFFER IN QUIET! ...fine! MEANWHILE... ... Now what? Oh yah, I promised CHARGON a scene. CHARGON: sheeber-shabber CHARGON disappeared! Did you really promise chargon a spot in the battle? NO, of course not! NARRATOR merely felt like quoting CHARGON's words of WISDOM! For no reason! Besides, no one ever reads this! ...Hi, Flash, Jason, three disgusted Light Version fans, and special agent Dana Scully. ...I was not surprised by any of those names. What about Dorothy? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Don't SAY that name! That does it! I knew it! You're ================! I sure am. Hah! You admit it! I sure do. Well, bye. HEY! YOU'RE...HE'S...THEY'RE...OOOOOOOOH! That was an angry oooooooh, by the way, not a ferret-style oooooooh. D&D KIRBY appeared! Prepare to DIE! ... Oh GREAT, he's gone again! SO close! DOCTOR DOOM: You Nimrod! He's right here, he just sat there quietly! Oh. GET HIM! DOCTOR DOOM wants to fight! And so, the epic battle begins... Prepare to die, tin man! AHHHHHHHHHH! Hehe, gotcha again! D&D KIRBY wants to fight! ...after this COMMERCIAL BREAK! Hey, wait, I just scrolled up....How the HECK did a missile change my name?? ...COMMERCIAL BREAK drowned out D&D KIRBY! I can't be drowned out, I'm typing, duh. I will be heard! I Battle #19-NNYd in a Place that Hurts...A Lot!!! August 19th, 2000 Player: NNY [?-?-?] ??? NNY is locked in CELL! Mmhmm... As NNY has been for the last few MONTHS! Really? The months just keep going on by. So rude.....I think I'll leave now. NNY got that LOOK in his eyes! NNY took out JAGGED SEVERE-LOOKING DAGGER! Indeedy I did. Watch me work! NNY ripped STUFFING from PADDED WALLS! NNY started BURROWING! I just practice on jello and human flesh, it really helps the coordination. Uh...ew. NNY burrowed into GRANITE! Now, for the grenades! NNY used GRENADES! How did NNY sneak THOSE in?? You don't want to know. Not that I care! NNY activated GRENADES! NNY yawned! NNY plugged up EARS! GRENADES exploded! I'm in a crazy kinda mood. NNY survived!!!..somehow?!?! Well, now I'm free. NNY emerged from the earth in a GRAVE! MOURNERS screamed and ran away! That's right! You should be afraid! NNY got out! NNY brushed off dirt! What is this, a BATTLE or a CATOLOG of NNY's life? Nothing FUNNY is ocurring! I dunno, you're the narrator. Just make something appear. LINT appeared! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, APPEARING LIKE THAT? YOU COULDA SCARED ME!!! LINT: Quiet, you! That's what they all say. LINT: I SAID QUIET! Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. Even though I did not . LINT: Brothers, ARISE! ARMY OF LINT emerged from NNY's pockets and many other POCKETS! Dust bunnies? Mmmhmmm...I'm thirsty. ARMY OF LINT: BIG DEAL! Our bretheren in LIMBO are trapped! Now, we shall GO TO LIMBO! Why are you telling that to me? I'm just a lil' ole' Nny. PRONOUNCED NEE, DAMMIT! NEE! ARMY OF LINT: Uhh...we need directions... Heh, why didn't you say so? Under the limbo pole! LIMBO MUSIC started up! DO DA LIMBO! LINT went under STICK! No, no you gotta bend backwards! Here, it's too high. Let's try...this. NNY started beating LINT viciously with STICK! MANY LINT died! Much lower. Woosh. LINT went to LIMBO! ARMY OF LINT: Ahh...I understand! We have to die! NNY, help us die! ....you have no idea how much I wanted you to say that. NNY took out BLOWTORCH! Where'd you get THAT? I just got it. Enough said. NNY used BLOWTORCH! ARMY OF LINT exploded! I never knew lint was so flammable. That's because most PEOPLE don't enjoy BLOWING UP LINT! Yah, yah, don't have a heart attack. Let's go eat squishee! Squisheeeeeeeeeee! Squish squish squish! Uh...right. ARMY OF LINT died! ARMY OF LINT is happy! ARMY OF LINT went to LIMBO! Aw, it wasn't painful enough. HEY, I've got an idea! Let's blow up bus stops! *squee* Fun! Uh...be quiet, you're disturbing me. Weak-willed Narrator? Hey, I bet I could get a job around here! After the blowing up!!! *squee again* Oh, I squee to much. Down to business. NNY ran to 7-11! Squishee. One. CASHIER: Please look around a bit! I did. Squishee. CASHIER: Please look around a bit! Give me a squishee or die. CASHIER: Please look around a bit! WHY DON'T YOU??? NNY used...EWW!!! CASHIER died! What, can't you HANDLE the truth? ... I would rather keep the violence ratings where they are. Fine. I'll just do my work in quiet. Now squishee! *squee yet again* Must...regain...controll of squee.......argh!!!!!!! NNY drank SQUISHEE! Squishee headache! The pain! I can't...stop...!ing! GET AWAY, !s! ARGH!!!!!! More of them! NNY ran around screaming! THE MORE I YELL, THE MORE THEY COME! AHHHHHHHH!!! MUST...CALM...DOWN! HEADACHE faded away! Much better. Les go! NNY grabbed some DYNAMITE, BLACK PAINT, and a TV tuned to TNT! What's the TV for?? Effect. NNY stuffed BYSTANDER inside TV! And that. TV was thrown into SEWERS! NNY painted WALL! WALL was painted to look like TUNNEL! NNY put DYNAMITE in TUNNEL! BUS approached! BUS went into TUNNEL! See, that always works with the Roadrunner. DYNAMITE exploded! BUS fainted! TUNNEL collapsed! BUS died! Oooh, I'm going to miss my favorite show ! It's on in five minutes! NNY ran home! HOME RUN! NNY wins! Batter up! NNY started smashing MAILBOX with a BASEBAL BAT for no apparent reason! Uhh... Yes, I am fast. NNY entered HOUSE! Coming in? NARRATOR chose to remain OUTSIDE to avoid GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS! Hello, Narrator. Eh? A purple NARRATION? No. I am Purple Voice, the new evil force here! Your going to die! With you gone, another Narrator on vacation, and the Webmaster busy on some sort of "fanfiction", all that will remain is a novice Narrator who can't do anything right and a narrator who can't even speak english! THEN I WILL RULE THE NETWORK! BWAHAHAHA! No, PURPLE VOICE is going to DIE, not rule NETWORK! NARRATOR died! PURPLE VOICE died! NARRATOR is gone! PURPLE VOICE is dead dead DEAD! Oh, this will never work. I challenge you to a match in the upcoming FANFIC! Fine! There's no way to narrate our way out, that's the only way one of us will die! AND THAT ONE WILL BE YOU! Silence, fool. GRRR... GRRR... Fool! I am an experienced Narrator! While you've been around weeks, I've been here for months!! FOOL!! NARRATOR pouted and ran away like a baby! I DID NOT!