 Battles #1-#5
Battle #6-10
Light Version Records
Here are the records for my battles...check the home page for more info.
Nothing Here Yet.
Be Patient.
o.o;;
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Color Key: Narration / Charactor
Battle #1-It's a Wacky Wacky World... July 12th, 2000
Player: Derik, Mental Hospital Employee! [0-0-0] No Record
DERIK is resting!
zzzzzz..
...
zzzz...
DERIK woke up!
Huh? What?
DERIK is confused!
what?
It hurt itself in its confusion!
OW! I rolled out of bed funny...ugh!
DERIK looked at TIME!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LOOK AT THE TIME! JEEZE!
DERIK already did!
MY ROUNDS START IN...5 SECONDS!
5 SECONDs began!
Gotta hur
5 SECONDs ended!
ry!!
ALARM rang!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
ERIC, MHE escaped!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
ESCAPE is entirely DERIK's fault!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
ERIC, MHE became world famous!
WHAT?
DERIK is still living in MENTAL HOSPITAL after a
year!
ERIC, MHE is very HIP!
NO WAY! A MENTAL HOSPITAL ESCAPEE? A LOON!?! (for some reason Narrator felt a momentary wave of fear at this)
DERIK began rounds!
I hate my job...
DAFFY DUCK finds your comments highly offensive!
Shaddup.
DAFFY DUCK wants to fight!
Hmph. Go, tranquelizer!
DERIK sent out TRANQUELIZER!
DAFFY DUCK sent out DAFFY DUCK!
Tranquelize!
TRANQUELIZER used TRANQUELIZE!
DAFFY DUCK used RABBIT SEASON!
No effect!
DAFFY DUCK was tranquelized!
DAFFY DUCK fell asleep!
All in a day's work...
DERIK sighed as DERIK realized that was all in ONE MINUTE's work!
DERIK moved on!
Who's next?
NNY appeared!
NNY wants to debate the philosophy of mankind!
You...do?
NNY nods!
Um...well, I'm not exactly an expert in that...what do you-
NNY says you are the lowest form of life!
NNY used STAB!
Critical hit!
AUGHHHH! AUGHHHHH! My arm! You stabbed my arm!
NNY nods!
HOW DID YOU FIT YOUR ARM THROUGH THAT TINY SLOT??
NNY's arm is VERY VERY THIN!
I noticed...oh, and before I forget, THIS REALLY HURTS!! SERIOUSLY! OW!
NNY chuckled evilly!
NNY sat down and meditated on the horror of violence!
YOU'RE INSANE!
NNY agrees!
NNY reconsidered!
NNY thinks DERIK must be the INSANE one for WORKING here!
You might be right about that...
NNY considered another STAB!
I'M OUTTA HERE! ACK!
DERIK ran away!
DERIK recieved MEDICAL ATTENTION!
NURSE JOY: You're Pokemon are fully healed!
What's that bizarre music?
DERIK resumed rounds!
Don't I get a day off or something?
NO way!
GODDESS SELAN appeared!
GODDESS SELAN babbled about MOO, DIGIMON, and NODDING!
...the heck?
DERIK is freaked!
GODDESS SELAN scorns your stupidity!
Uh...okay, moving on...
UNI-BOMBERMAN appeared!
UNI-BOMBERMAN is fast asleep!
And to the next ce...
UNI-BOMBERMAN woke up!
UNI-BOMBERMAN is fast awake!
What?
UNI-BOMBERMAN broke down DOOR!
UNI-BOMBERMAN used TACKLE!
Augh! Go me, kick!
DERIK used STOMP!
DERIK's foot can't reach that LOW!
...now that is one short psychotic dude.
UNI-BOMBERMAN asks WHERE!
Right there!
UNI-BOMBERMAN imagined MUNCHKINS!
No...they're on Floor D...
UNI-BOMBERMAN ran away!
UNI-BOMBERMAN made a break for the exit!
No! Stop!
DERIK leaped at UNI-BOMBERMAN!
DERIK caught UNI-BOMBERMAN's STRAIGHT JACKET!
GODDESS SELAN caught COLD!
Aww...it appeared to be caught!
COLD demands victory over the UNIVERSE!
COLD unleashed DEATH DEVICEs!
GODDESS SELAN scorns COLD's stupidity!
COLD fainted in terror at SCORN!
GODDESS SELAN scorns COLD's unconsciousness!
UNI-BOMBERMAN needs to escape STRAIGHT JACKET to break away!
UNI-BOMBERMAN used BOMB!
It's super moronic!
Uh oh...i'll just let go now o_o
EMERALDBOT bonked DERIK, MHE!
Ow!
UNI-BOMBERMAN's eyes bugged out!
BOMB is stuck in STRAIGHT JACKET!
BOMB exploded!
UNI-BOMBERMAN died!
STRAIGHT JACKET died!
...and that's the end of that.
STRAIGHT JACKET HITMAN appeared!
HITMAN grabbed UNI-BOMBERMAN's head!
STRAIGHT JACKET MAFIA recieved UNI-BOMBERMAN HEAD!
What's that creepy music???
DERIK is confused!
No I'm not!
HITMAN stared at DERIK!
DERIK was scared out of its confusion!
I'm not an it -___-
It's super effective!
Huh? What? ARGH!
DERIK's confu...oh, never mind!
HITMAN wants to know if DERIK, MHE is related to ERIC, MHE!
No...we just sound similar. He escaped from here...I hope to catch him one day so I can finally get out of this hellhole and get a real job!
HELLHOLE is insulted!
HELLHOLE says HELLHOLE is better than NUTHOUSE!
NUTHOUSE is insulted!
HELLHOLE and NUTHOUSE started fighting!
SQUIRRELs win!
...as always!
Ack! This is so confusing!
Shut UP!
HITMAN is offering DERIK a job...
DERIK laughed evilly!
DERIK accepted...
What's that ominous music?
To Be Continued...
Battle #2-De-LIGHTful! July 12th, 2000
Player: Super-De-Duper Man [0-0-0] No Record
Now then, what sort of crimes shall I solve today?
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN is flying!
Why, yes I am! How good of you to notice!
X-MEWs appeared!
What? Those look like the cats from Mew Mix commercials I’ve seen!
X-MEWs want to fight!
Ah, you’re impressed by my obvious feats and-
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN is full of himself!
I suppose I am. Isn’t it wonderful?
X-MEWs sweatdropped!
X-MEWs sent out HOUMEW!
HOUMEW flew up high!
I can fly higher than that!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN flew up higher!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN is certainly very HIGH!
…but now less people watching below can see my beautiful complexion…
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN admired REFLECTION!
HOUMEW used FIRE BLAST!
Augh! My hair! Vile Mew, have at you!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN threw MIRROR at HOUMEW!
Critical hit!
It’s super effective!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN will have 7 BATTLEs of bad LUCK!
Isn’t it seven years?
NARRATOR doesn’t feel link writing a ONE-DIMENSIONAL character like SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN for SEVEN YEARS!
Was that an insult?
Can you only say QUESTIONs?
Why do you ask?
HOUMEW used PSYCHIC!
Oh really?
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN challenged the existence of HOUMEW’s PSYCHIC!
HOUMEW is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Now, pummel punch! Feel my iron fists!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN used PUMMEL PUNCH!
HOUMEW was knocked through BUILDING!
BUILDING fainted!
HOUMEW fainted!
X-MEWs sent out BEAST MEW!
BEAST MEW used SLASH!
Aha!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN made a remark!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN’s cloak was slashed!
NOO! My wonderful cloak! How could you do that??
It was so shiny…
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN is obsessed with CLOAKS!
SIRCHARGON is obsessed with CAPES!
...
ANYWAY...
BEAST MEW snorted!
That does it! Evil-doers this day shall be your last! Wrath RAY!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN used WRATH RAY!
RAY is running!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN smashed RAY!
RAY fainted!
BEAST MEW used SLAM!
Arghhh…this cannot be…laser vision!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN used LASER VISION!
Critical hit!
BEAST MEW was blinded!
BEAST MEW flinched!
It kept going, and hit TELEPHONE POLL!
BEAST MEW fainted!
Ha. Pathetic team.
X-MEWs sent out ICEMEW!
ICEMEW used BLIZZARD!
Ahhh…cool, fresh snow.
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN was fully healed!
Now…COSMIC BLAST!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN used COSMIC BLAST!
ICEMEW is melting!
MMm…..
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN considered eating ICEMEW!
ICEMEW ran away!
ICEMEW fainted!
That’s to bad. Probably scared of my very presence! Aren’t I wonderful?
X-MEWs say NO!
X-MEWs reject SMOKING!
NARRATOR sweatdropped at AWFUL "JOKE"!
X-MEWs return to BATTLE!
X-MEWs sent out ANGEMEW!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
ANGEMEW is better-looking than SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN!
But I have chrome plating! My costume looks better!
ANGEMEW used RAZOR SHARDS!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN’s costume was shredded!
NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m the best! Can’t you see that? AIEEEEEEE…
ANGEMEW used CRUSH!
SUPER-DE-DUPER MAN fainted!
X-MEWs win!
CYCLOMEW is eating ICEMEW CONE!
To Be Continued…
Battle #3-She Whose Sig Hates Her! July 14th, 2000
Player: Cassandra [0-0-0] No Recrd
CASSANDRA is walking!
I know I’m walking…and I also know what you’re about to say…
CASSANDRA is not walking!
CASSANDRA has no idea what NARRATOR is about to say!
See? I’m right…I’m always right…but no one believes me.
CASSANDRA is a LIAR!
CASSANDRA always LIES!
CASSANDRA is always BELIEVED!
DACTA claims to believe CASSANDRA!
You...do?
DACTA no longer believes CASSANDRA!
CASSANDRA sighed…er…didn’t SIGH!
Is this going to go on FOREVER? I can’t take much more of this!!!
CASSANDRA could take lots more of THIS!
THIS is a POKEBATTLE!
Battle? Does that mean I have to fight?
YES!
Alright. I’m ready for anyone, I’ve assembled my team…
CASSANDRA is totally unprepared!
CASSANDA has no POKEMON!
Yes I do! I just caught dozens of them!
CASSANDRA doesn’t have any POKEMON!
You…you…
DA INVISIBLE MAN appeared!
…Where?
…NARRATOR doesn’t KNOW!
DA INVISIBLE MAN wants to fight!
DA INVISIBLE MAN is not invisible!
DA INVISIBLE MAN is right there!
Eh? Oh yes, I forgot. Anything I say you won’t believe…
DA INVISIBLE MAN sent out…? NOTHING!
Then I choose Voltorb.
CASSANDRA doesn’t have any POKEMON!
YES I DO!
CASSANDRA doesn’t have any POKEMON!
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DIE!
CASSANDRA sent out CASSANDRA!
Flying kick!
CASSANDRA used an attack that was NOT FLYING KICK!
SOMETHING used COUNTER!
WEBMASTER put COUNTER on site! 
Critical hit!
Hey! MY LEG! ARGH!
CASSANDRA twisted CASSANDRA’s LEG!
Err…that does it…FORETELL!
CASSANDRA didn’t use FORETELL!
SOMETHING refused to believe CASSANDRA!
CASSANDRA foretold ANVIL falling on SOMETHING’s head!
ANVIL fell on SOMETHING’s head…er, ANVIL did not fall on SOMETHING’s head!
SOMETHING fainted for no apparent reason!
NOT BECAUSE of the ANVIL that is NOT on it’s head!
Well…at least it worked, since I can tell the future…
CASSANDRA cannot tell the future!
DA INVISIBLE MAN is getting angry!
DA INVISIBLE MAN sent out…er…NOTHING?
NARRATOR is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
I was a much better Narrator then you, you know.
CASSANDRA was never a NARRATOR!
Oh yah? Ever been to Fro
CASSANDRA was suddenly hit by AN ATTACK!
SOMETHING is attacking!
Where? I see nothing!
CASSANDRA sees ALL!
Liar.
NARRATOR never LIES!
Oh?
YES!!!!!!!
Well, ruby shatter!
CASSANDRA used something that is NOT RUBY SHATTER!
SOMETHING used ROAR!
SOMETHING fainted?
NARRATOR is still confused!
It attacked itself!
Oooh, looks like a bad POKEMON choice!
The trainer’s recalling the POKEMON!
Wow! It’s DA INVISIBLE MAN!
The battle has become one-sided!
The crowd’s excitement is growing over this hot battle!
Hmph. SPEECH!
CASSANDRA did not use SPEECH!
CASSANDRA started LYING!
I am not lying!
CASSANDRA is lying!
DA INVISIBLE MAN refused to believe!
DA INVISIBLE MAN thinks CASSANDRA is an excellent liar!
I am the worst liar on earth!
DA INVISIBLE MAN knows CASSANDRA is BEST LIAR ON EARTH!
Hmm…maybe I can use this truth thing to my advantage….I can never lie!
CASSANDRA always lies!
DA INVISIBLE MAN asked CASSANDRA if DA INVISIBLE MAN could join CASSANDRA!
No way! Scumball!
CASSANDRA agreed!
WHAT? NO!
Ally DA INVISIBLE MAN joined!
This is moronic!
THIS is the best POKEBATTLE ever!
Hah. I’ll stab that invisible man!
CASSANDRA stabbed herself!!
NO!
CASSANDRA fainted!
To Be Continued…
Battle #4-Kirby's Return... July 14th. 2000
Player: Doomkirby [0-0-0] No Record
RED DOOMKIRBY is cool!
RED DOOMKIBRY rocks!
RED DOOMKIRBY ate and ate and ate!
…
RED DOOMKIRBY…*sigh*
Me wants more!
No FOOD is around!
CORPSEs are EVERYWHERE!
RED DOOMKIRBY started crying!
I WAAAANT MOOORE!
PORTAL to RED VERSION appeared!
?
PORTAL is closed!
I wanna go in!
PORTAL is closed!
PORTAL opened!
NO IT DIDN’T!
Huh? Who said that?
NARRATOR appeared!
What? Dang…my days of narrating are over…
DOOMPUFF is pouting!
PORTAL didn’t open!
Grrr…OPEN SESAME!
PORTAL didn’t open!
LET ME IN!
PORTAL didn’t open!
ABRA CADABRA!
PORTAL didn’t open!
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