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Foolish Ambitions Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Otaku was foolish to make enemies with Mio. This battle is authored by Wakuseino, who also is a well-known Green Version contender. The battle stars Otaku, an anime fan who is sucked into his favorite series to do battle with a none-too-pleased character. For the uninformed, hentai is the Japanese word for pervert. (Not even a level one word, though I can't speak for the countless other Japanese words in this battle that I don't know.) [I have since been informed that all of the other so-called Japanese words are actually names of characters. Shows how much I know…] Battle #71: Anime Attack April 6, 2000 Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0% Player: Otaku [No Record] Written by andalite@hotmail.com New Author
I finished checking out my web-sites for the day, now to go watch some anime. OTAKU used WATCH! OTAKU WATCHED ANIME! My favorite one, too. OTAKU fainted! What.... where am I? OTAKU appeared! MIO appeared! My favorite anime character! Mio-sama! MIO wants to fight! Why? MIO does not like HENTAI! But I'm not hentai, I just know everything there is to know about you. MIO wants to kill OTAKU! Why is that? MIO despises STALKERS! Oh well, I guess I have to fight you then, Mio-sama.... Go Kiriomi! Go, KIRIOMI! MIO sent out MIO! MIO used CALL! What? MIO CALLED for help! Why? I haven't even done anything yet. YUN appeared! YUN wants to fight! umm... I think I'm in trouble. YUN sent out CHUUEN! ahh! Kiriomi, use those throwing axes! CHUUEN used 100 000 PUNCHES! KIRIOMI fainted! There's something unfair about this....... CHUUEN used BITE! Ouch!!! OTAKU fainted! NOW where am I? OTAKU appeared! hey wait.... I recognize this dojo! KORI appeared! Umm.... I forfeit ahead of time. OTAKU forfeited! KORI wins! well, now that that's over with...... how do I get out of here! KORI is offended! KORI used BAMBOO SWORD! Ouch.... this is not my day..... OTAKU fainted!
The Devolution Guy's foolish ambitions led him into a highway battle. Lani930@aol.com, best known for her frequent appearances in Green Version, has authored a Blue Version battle. It stars a new trainer named 'The Devolution Guy,' a twin of Da Evolution Man. He is driving a vehicle known as the Devolution Volkswagen… apparently of no relation to Da Evolution Van. This is Blue Version in its purest form--taking a Red Version idea and altering it so that it seems to exist in a parallel universe. Plus, the battle is just plain funny. Battle #72: Traffic Jam April 6, 2000 Setting: Game 40% / Reality 60% / Anime 0% Player: The Devolution Guy [No Record] Written by Lani930@aol.com New Author Readers' Choice: Award Winning Battle
The DEVOLUTION GUY is driving The DEVOLUTIONVOLKSWAGEN! Well, I couldn't exactly drive a van, could I? Then everyone would be confusing me with my goody-two shoes, just absolutely perfect twin, Da Evolution Man! Right, Chu? CHU scowls! Don't scowl, Chu! You don't look cute when you do that! CHU doesn't wanna look cute! Fine, be that way. The DEVOLUTIONVOLKSWAGEN reaches the highway! I'm so glad I'm finally getting away from this version! I can finally begin to put my evil plan to take over the Pokebattles network into action! Mwahahaha! CHU reminds you that Emperor Sloth already tried that! CHU says to watch the road! We're not MOVING anywhere, what's the point? The DEVOLUTION GUY honks the horn! Move it slowpoke! We haven't got all day! SLOWPOKE is angry! SLOWPOKE wants to FIGHT! In the middle of the highway? Yes! SLOWPOKE sent out SLOWPOKE! Alright, alright. Chu! Go! Chu! Quick, use CUTENESS! CHU used CUTENESS! Enemy SLOWPOKE doesn't want to hurt a cute wittle thing like CHU! CHU! Return! Go, me! The DEVOLUTION GUY sent out The DEVOLUTION GUY! SLOWPOKE doesn't think you're cute! Hey! I'm cute! I've even got my own fan club! SLOWPOKE asks how many members are in it! Well.. just me actually. Me! Use DEVOLVE! DEVOLUTION GUY used DEVOLVE! Enemy SLOWPOKE devolved into SLOWPO! SLOWPO is shocked! SLOWPO fainted! Yes! I won. Now if I could just get off this highway…
Jack's ambitions seem limited to wanting to help watch dishes. The Webmistress of Shell Version sent this battle in before Shell Version became a Network site. As is the tradition with this author, the cast of characters involves mostly the children of the characters on the Pokémon anime series. This battle features appearances of the aged Jessie and James, along with their evolved Arbok named Tnepres. Battle #73: Webmaster Vs. Rocket April 13, 2000 Setting: Game 20% / Reality 20% / Anime 60% Player: Jack [No Record] Written by FroTorG079@aol.com Author of Cat Fight (Battle #53)
Hey, Mom, need help washing the dishes? JESSIE says no, her POKéMON are helping. LIKITUNG LICKS the PLATES clean! TNEPRES uses ACID! ACID burns through PLATES! JESSIE scolds TNEPRES for using ACID instead of SOAP and says she liked it better as an ARBOK! OK. Well, I'm going over to Kittens house. She got this really cool Mew! JESSIE says MEW'S name sounds familiar. JAMES agrees! Whatever ... can I go? JAMES says KITTEN'S parents were his main rivals as children! So... JACK cannot go to KITTENS HOUSE! That narration can be so annoying sometimes... Well, I don't care! I'm going anyway! JAMES is angry! And that would be because... WEBMASTER has waited too long to introduce JACK into POKéBATTLES! It is an INSULT! WEBMASTER appeared! WEBMASTER wants to fight... Oh, no. ... with JAMES! Well, THAT'S a different story! JACK allied WEBMASTER! JAMES demands to know the reason of JACK'S ignorance! Dad, I'm not allying YOU. You won as many battles as the number of hairs on the bald spot of your head. JAMES says he has no BALD SPOT! Yeah, tell that to your barber! JAMES' BARBER is JESSIE! Not a big surprise... JAMES sent out SNEEZING! Then I'll use... JACK sent out UNCLE MEOWTH! SNEEZING used BACTERIA! UNCLE MEOWTH caught a COLD! UNCLE MEOWTH uses DIMETAPP ELIXIR! Its super effective! SNEEZING is cured! SNEEZING fainted! Yeah! See ya, Dad! You use your Defeatbell on Webmaster here while I go to the Ketchums! Wish I could stay and watch ya be killed, but this PokéBattles is running too long already!
Lance was foolish to challenge the narrator… or was he? Returning author coolpug!@chigago.avenew.com continues where he left off in battle #62, when Lance of Da Elite Four was captured, renamed, and generally humiliated by the narrator. Now, Lance attempts a daring escape from the narrator. But does even the leader of the Elite Four stand a chance against the Almighty Narrator…? Battle #74: Lance Fights for Freedom April 13, 2000 Setting: Game 50% / Reality 50% / Anime 0% Player: Lance of Da Elite Four [Record: 0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Narrator (Battle #62) Written by coolpug!@chicago.avenew.com Author of Lance Meets the PokéBattles (Battle #62) Webmaster's Choice: Award Winning Battle
NARRATOR sends out AGATHA! AGATHA sends out ISABEL! Who are you calling ISABEL? I'm LANCE, THE LEADER OF THE ELITE FOUR! Doesn't anybody recognize me? AGATHA says no because you look like a GENGAR! And that's EESABEL!!! The NARRATOR is practicing her- Yeah, yeah, I know. LANCE jumps out of LANGAR'S body. There! How's that? huh? huh? NARRATOR is angry! Here we go again.... NARRATOR wants to fight! All right! Dramicroscopic, I choose you! NARRATOR calls back AGATHA and sends out LORELEI! Hey, Lorelei's MY attack! NARRATOR said your LORELEI evolved into OLD MAN! Er....he's right. All right, Dramicroscopic, use your magnify attack! DRAMICROSCOPIC uses MAGNIFY! LORELEI'S pores are magnified! AHHHH! It's super effective! Magnify or that hideous Pore attack? NARRATOR said PORE attack was effective! No you didn't! DRAMICROSCOPIC fainted! Dang it! Return, Dramicroscopic! Go, ROCK! ROCK is ROCKING! This isn't doing anything! NARRATOR says that ROCKING is not a legal attack! Well neither is PORE attack! Rock, finish it! Use your Pelt attack! It's super effective! LORELEI fainted! ROCK gained 1000000 EXP. PNTS!! ROCK grew to lvl 500! Wow, I didn't even know a Pokémon can exceed 100! NARRATOR says it can't! NARRATOR says that was illegal too! ROCK evolved into BOULDER! NARRATOR calls out MOOD BEADS! Nooo! My number 1 weakness! Boulder, use your Smash attack! BOULDER SMASHES the beads! Ahhh! They live! ahhhh! BEADS use CHOKE attack! Hey, I'm not battling! stop choking meeeeE!!! Return, Boulder! I choose my PANTS! NARRATOR says your PANTS already fainted! Oh, that's right. UNDERWEAR, I CHOOSE YOU! Use the Baby Butt attack! It's super effective! BEADS fainted! Geez, it's a wonder I could stand having all of that in my underwear at once. NARRATOR sends out NARRATOR! Oh yeah! Go, LANCE! LANCE sends out LANCE! LANCE pelts NARRATOR with fist! But LANCE has forgotten NARRATOR is just a big voice! That means you can't attack!!! Ha ha ha! NARRATOR uses BLOODCURDLING SCREAM attack! Wahhh! That exceeds the limit of characters!!! RED BLOOD pours out of LANCE'S ears and through his fingers! Must… send… out… something… LANCE sent out SOMETHING! What the? SOMETHING used WHAT THE?! It's not very effective... NARRATOR fainted! Dude! Hey, I actually won this time! NARRATOR loses to LANCE!
Amanda foolishly stumbled into a horde of Pikachus. RainbowEevee@aol.com is a veteran author of Blue Version, who continues to tell of the adventures of Amanda in this week's Secondary battle. This time, she has to battle a swarm of Pikachus. (Some prefer to leave out the 's' for the plural, but this author doesn't do that.) Most of the attacks in this battle involve intimidation… such as the 'IMCUTERTHANYOU' attack. Battle #75: Attack of the Pikachus! April 20, 2000 Setting: Game 60% / Reality 30% / Anime 0% Player: Amanda [Record: 3-0-1] Last Battle: Draw vs. The Weird Voice (Battle #51) Written by RainbowEeevee@aol.com Author of Battle #21: Attack of the Fake Pokégods (Dual Award Winner) Author of Battle #31: Pikachu's Nightmare (Readers' Choice Award Winning Battle) Author of The Attack of the Cheese (Battle #25); The Poison Ivy Takeover (Battle #29); The Weird Voice (Battle #51)
AMANDA and her Pokémon are going for a walk! I thought you and that other voice went away! THE WEIRD VOICE always comes back! Oh, well. Hey, what are all those Pikachus doing? AMANDA and her Pokémon ran to see what the PIKACHUS were doing! PIKACHUS want to fight! Huh? 12 Pikachus? PIKACHUS used WEREMOREPOPULAR on AMANDA'S CHARIZARD! It's not very effective CHARIZARD doesn't care! MEW used YOUREWEAKLINGS on the PIKACHUS! It's super effective! 2 PIKACHUS ran away! PIKACHUS used WEREINVINCIBLE on Pinsir! It's not very effective PINSIR doesn't believe them! MEW used IMCUTERTHANYOU on the PIKACHUS! It's super effective! 4 PIKACHUS ran away! Good job Mew! Ummmm. 6 Pikachus are left. Eevee, use Cuteness on the Pikachus! EEVEE used CUTENESS! PIKACHUS refuse to attack! PINSIR used GUILLOTINE on 3 of the PIKACHUS! PINSIR missed! The 3 PIKACHUS ran away, scared! Golem, go out in front! PIKACHUS used IMBETTERTHANYOU on GOLEM! It doesn't affect GOLEM! GOLEM is at a higher level! GOLEM used IMBIGGERTHANYOU! The 3 PIKACHUS fainted! AMANDA won! Yay! Good job, you guys, you beat the annoying Pikachus! That wasn't the battle! You were supposed to battle EVIL ERIKA! Oh. I guess I lost then - we didn't show up EVIL ERIKA didn't show up! Then.. it was a draw It was a DRAW!!! Ok. I just said that. AMANDA ate MOLDY BEEF JERKY! No I didn't!
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