Emperor Sloth returned to take over the world.
Tomboy802, who has an odd habit of winning awards for nearly every battle
she writes, is the author of this week’s Primary battle.  In this battle,
Emperor Sloth takes on a lowly Weedle… but as we’ve seen before in Red
Version, Weedles can be quite tough...
Battle #76: Empire Building  April 20, 2000
Setting: Game 40% / Reality 60% / Anime 0%
Player: Emperor Sloth  [Record: 1-0-0]  Last Battle: Win vs. Da Evolution Man  (Battle #54)
Written by TomBoy802@aol.com
Author of Battle #1: Tree Time (Webmaster's Choice Award Winning Battle)
Author of Man with Hook?! (Battle #6); Author of Face Off (Battle #35)
Author of Battle #10: Showdown! (Readers' Choice Award Winning Battle)
Author of Battle #28: First Ever! (Readers' Choice Award Winning Battle)
Author of Battle #30: Particular Spray (Webmaster's Choice Award Winning Battle)
Author of Battle #54: Emperor Sloth Meets Blue Version (Dual Award Winner)

Now I shall rule the world! MWAHAHAHA!
EMPEROR SLOTH is CACKLING!
Wild WEEDLE appeared!
Go away, bug, I don't need you.
enemy WEEDLE is ANGRY!
A bug, angry at me?
EMPEROR SLOTH is rolling with LAUGHTER!
Alright... I'll humor you...
I choose... Mewtwo!
Go, MEWTWO!
enemy WEEDLE sent out WEEDLE!
Alright Mewtwo... psychic.
WEEDLE used SOME EXTREMELY LONG NAME BUT THE FIRST TWO WORDS ARE MAXIMUM FIRE!
MEWTWO fainted!
...!!!  WEEDLE CAN'T HAVE THAT!
Or can it?
EMPEROR SLOTH is CONFUSED!
Dang... worst time, too...
EMPEROR SLOTH hurt itself in its CONFUSION!
Ow!!!
EMPEROR SLOTH is BUSTED!
What did I do?
EMPEROR SLOTH was saying INNAPROPRIATE WORDS UNDER ITS BREATH!
You can't prove that!
NARRATOR takes out TAPERECORDER!
TAPERECORDER used PLAY!
NOOOO! NOT THAT! TURN IT OFF! Please?
NARRATOR puts back TAPERECORDER!
EMPEROR SLOTH was dragged out of the room by TWO BIG BAD EVIL GUYS!
Nooooooooooo!
EMPEROR SLOTH is CONFUSED!
No I'm not you ninny!
EMPEROR SLOTH hurt itself in its CONFUSION!
Liar! Liars! All of you!
EMPEROR SLOTH just DIED!
Huh?
YOU can't say ANYTHING!
YOU are DEAD!
....I lost... to a weedle....
YOU can't say ANYTHING!
YOU are DEAD!
ALL of EMPEROR SLOTH'S Pokémon were FREED!
Nooo! Anything but that!
WEEDLE rides off to SUNSET on DA EVOLOUTION MAN'S BIKE!
DA EVOLOUTION MAN: MY BIKE!!!

Luke Skywalker re-used the force once again.
\Another new author sent in this Secondary battle, which has the
distinction of being the first Star Trek Poké Battle. Since Star Wars Poké
Battles seem to be so common, it is no surprise that 'Trek Wars' found a
home here as well.
Battle #77: Trek Wars!  April 29, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Trekker  [No Record]
Written by Sigma176@aol.com  New Author

Trekker is walking
Trekker meets Star Wars fanboy!
Live long and prosper!
Fanboy is enraged
What did I say?
Fanboy sends out Storm Trooper Replaceable
Oh, so that's how its gonna go down! I'll show you, and your little Jedi too!
Trekker sends out Ensign Expendable!
trooper replaceable uses suicidal tactics
Ensign Expendable counters with bad luck.
Both faint!
Nooooo! He was my favorite ensign, I'll never forget him... Anywho, I'll 
use....Kirk!
Fanboy uses Han solo!
Kirk use ladies' man charm!
Han Solo uses ladies' man charm!
Kirk and Solo run off together
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Fanboy sends in Jar Jar Binks
Very well! I send forth Wesley Crusher!
Jar Jar uses Meesa annoying
Wesley uses annoying boy genius to solve problem!
Jar continues to be annoying
Wesley Continues annoying boy genius
Both faint
This is getting annoying
Fanboy sends fanboy
I too shall fight!
Fanboy uses force!
Super effective!
Ouchies! Hey, wait! Fanboys can't use the force!
Fanboy takes off mask, Fanboy is Luke Skywalker!
No, no way, I'm not gonna fight you for all the credits in the Federation!
Trekker runs away
I'll be back! 

The thunder stone was re-used in Poké Battles by Paul.
A new author brings us this week's Primary battle, in which a trainer
named Paul (who seems to know ahead of time that Poké Battles are never
fair) must battle a random enemy trainer. But it seems that Paul's Pikachu
hasn't paid its electric bill...
Battle #78: Thunder Stone Fun  April 29, 2000
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70% / Anime 0%
Player: Paul  [No Record]
Written by DTeevan@aol.com  New Author
Contains Level 2 Language (Moderate Expletives)

Hello welcome I'm Paul and I'm here to have a screwed up battle in Celadon 
city.
Enemy trainer wants to fight
so do I!
Enemy trainer sent out squirtle
Go Pikachu! Use thunder
Pikachu is holding a note
What?
Note is from electric company
Gimme that! Dear pikachu you have not paid your electric bill of 
$99999999999999999 we have therefore cut you off.
Paul is screwed!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Enemy squirtle whammed you bloody hard!
Ow!
Paul blacked out
When Paul  came around trainer knicked all Paul's money!
Hey I thought they were only meant to knick half!
Trainer is a thief!
Pikachu this  is all your fault
Pikachu denies  it
Hey wait a minute you can't hurt me!
Paul is insulating pikachu real bad!
Ha! Ha!
Pikachu is pissed off!
Der!
PIkachu used bite
Ow! 
Paul used kick
Pikachu is sent flying!
Ha! Ha!
Pikachu landed in a big pile of thunder stones.
Uh, oh!
Pikachu is evolving
Gotta run!
Pikachu evolved into bloody huge mouse!
Now where is that devolution spray?
Bloody huge mouse is annoyed!
Not at me I hope!
Bloody huge mouse is annoyed at Paul
Oh crap!
Bloody huge mouse kills Paul
Ouch!
Bloody huge mouse is off in search of worlds biggest cheese!
To be continued...............

Mew didn't return from McDonalds.
Veteran author SuperDuperYoshi@aol.com brings us yet another battle, this
one starring a new trainer known as ‘Hacker’.  This hacker takes an
opportunity to hack his Pokémon game, and many in-game and out-of-game
characters attempt to stop him, including Officer Jenny and Poké Man.
Battle #79: To Hack or Not to Hack  May 4, 2000
Setting: Game 40% / Reality 40% / Anime 20%
Player: Hacker  [No Record]
Written by SuperDuperYoshi@aol.com
Author of Battle #8: Austin Powers Strikes Back (Webmaster's Choice Award Winning Battle) Author of Darkluke's REALLY Miserable Fate (Battle #9)
Author of Battle #40: Pokémon Master Disaster! (Readers' Choice Award Winning Battle)
Author of Battle #57: One Heck of a Crazy Battle (Dual Award Winner)

Ha! I think I'll hack my Pokémon game!
HACKER used HACK!
HACKER HACKED the POKéMON GAME!
Bwa ha ha! now I have all 151 Pokémon!
JENNY appeared!
JENNY: You're under arrest for hacking!
Oh yeah?
HACKER used HACK!
HACKER HACKED JENNY out of the POKéMON GAME!
JENNY fainted!
HA! Take that!
POKéMAN appeared!
I'll just hack YOU out, too!
HACKER used HACK!
It doesn't affect enemy POKéMAN!
Why not?
HACKER realizes that POKéMAN is not in the POKéMON GAME!
Darn!
POKéMAN wants to fight!
Fine.
GO! MEW!
POKéMAN sent out TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the AMERICAN WAY!
Hey! You can't sent out 3 Pokémon! It's cheating!
POKéMAN says using a MEW is cheating!
I hate it when he's right.
TRUTH used TRUTH!
HACKER wears TELE-TUBBIES UNDERWEAR!
I do not!
It's the TRUTH!
JUSTICE used JUSTICE!
JUSTICE KICKED MEW in the name of JUSTICE!
Darn, darn, DARN!
AMERICAN WAY used AMERICAN WAY!
AMERICAN WAY and MEW went to MCDONALDS!
Hey! Get back here, Mew!
You have 1 POKéMON left!
Umm... I do?
YES!
Fine, go, whatever I have left.
Get'm! POKéMON GAME!
THAT'S WHAT I GOT LEFT?!?!
POKéMAN sent out HITMONLEE!
What attacks does Pokémon game know, anyway?
POKéMON GAME knows MALFUCTION, NOTHING, TAUNT, and FAINT.
WHAT?! That's unfair!
HITMONLEE used MEGA KICK!
POKéMON GAME was SLAMMED into a WALL!
Good thing I have my Nintendo Warranty!
NINTENDO: By hacking the game, you have violated the NINTENDO WARRANTY!
WHAT?!?!
NINTENDO: YOU HEARD ME!
PLEASE HELP ME!
NINTENDO: NO!
But my Pokémon game is malfunctioning!
POKéMON GAME used MALFUNCTION!
Oops.
POKéMON GAME fainted!
Now what do I do?
GO! HACKER!
HEY! Who just pushed me?
HITMONLEE used HI JUMP KICK!
HACKER flew over the HORIZON!
Looks like Team Hacker's blasting off again.....
TEAM ROCKET says that's their LINE!
TEAM ROCKET wants to fight!
Sigh.....

Otaku returned from being beaten wih a Bamboo Sword by Kori.
The author explains his own battle here:
"Yep, here's the Second(?) appearance of Otaku. This time around, Otaku
ends up being mistaken for the villain of ‘Cyberteam in Akihabara’, Lord
Shooting Star. To make more sense out of this, you have to know that
Hibari, the main character of the anime, is in love with Shooting Star,
whom she mysteriously calls ‘my prince’"
Battle #80: Anime Attack II  May 4, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Otaku  [Record: 0-1-0]  Last Battle: Loss vs. Kori (Battle #71)
Written by andalite@hotmail.com  Author of Anime Attack (Battle #71)

Ouch... that hurt... It would have hurt a LOT less if she just used her 
fists... but no... she HAD to use that *bleeeeep* Bamboo Sword that breaks 
EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!
OTAKU pulls Bamboo out of his hair!
So? What difference does it make... hey wait a minute... where did that 
voice come from?
I is a FIGMENT of your IMAGINATION!
uh...... what?
Never mind!
Ok.
HIBARI appeared!
What? What's she doing here?
HIBARI: Oh my prince! You've woken up!
Excuse me, exclamatory voice, but would you mind telling me WHY SHE'S SAYING THAT?!!!
OTAKU looks like SHOOTINGSTAR!
Oh right... I knew it was a bad idea to get my hair cut like him, but no... 
He told me to in a dream!
HIBARI gave CURRY to OTAKU!
What am I supposed to do with it?
CURRY is the food of LOVE!
EAT IT AND SMILE!
Ok ok ok...
OTAKU eats CURRY while SMILING!
Which is really hard to do, by the way...
Hey, this is pretty good!
OTAKU was poisoned!
Pretty bad aftertaste though...
OTAKU fainted!
OTAKU appeared!?
NO!
Where am I going?
Right where you were before!
I'm going to die.
OTAKU unfainted!
Ugh... where am I?
AKIHABARI GAKUEN!
Is that really its name?
Of course not! I just know what you know, and you don't know its name!
Oh, ok. I guess that explains it... how did I get here?!
HIBARI brought you here!
I wouldn't happen to have been transferred into her class, would I?
YES!
Notes to self: 1. stay away from psycho inventors. 2. Buy a Patapi while 
you're in this dimension.
NOTES were EMAILED to OTAKU!
Oh great... I don't have an email account in this dimension so that was 
pointless.
TO BE CONTINUED?!!


Click here for the next set of battles.