[Ruby Version] - 'Cause macaroni and brilliant minds go hand in hand. :)


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// 1-06-02 // It's been a while since Ruby was first created, and it's been a while since it's webmistress ever got around to writing stuff for it. It's had it's time in the sun. Maybe sometime I'll get around to finishing out the thing that might vaguely resemble a plot and give Ruby Version a proper ending... But for now, this will have to do. I think it had a good run when I was new to the PokèBattles Network... Right around now, I wouldn't be able to do its reputation any good. So for old fans and new ones (I love you all, you know), I'll just leave the old battles here. Don't want my baby pulled off the Network anyway. :( Currently, battles up to 15 have been archived. I'll get around to the rest later on in the week or something... FFX is calling my name, and it's oh, so sweet. Much love, yo. // Deb //
As always, aqua text is for players and red text is for Narrators. I lost track of the records somewhere along the line... Maybe I'll re-count them and junk. :/
Battle #1: The Heroine July 9, 2000 Location:A meadow Player: Bounty Hunter Psyduck [No record] Yawn Gah... how come this of all the Versions is the most boring? No one to talk to... NARRATOR notes that its here! ... no one to talk to... no thing to do... NARRATOR notes that you could play Checkers with it! I don't really want to play Checkers with some weird invisible... thing. NARRATOR is SUPREME! PSYDUCK must do as it COMMANDS! Well, I'm not gonna! So nyah! And you can't make me! NARRATOR gets IRRITATED! And how come you always talk in third person? Kinda annoying, you know... NARRATOR doesn't CARE! NARRATOR does at it LIKES! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ... NARRATOR is ANNOYING! NARRATOR says don't steal its style! NARRATOR says that only it can talk like this! Well, goodie for you. I don't wanna talk like you! I don't wanna sound stupid! NARRATOR is ANGRY! NARRATOR wants to HURT PSYDUCK! Nyah, nyah, what are you gonna do? Hmm? BOBAFETT appeared! ... NARRATOR says for you to observe its awesome powers! NARRATOR threw a PokèBall at BOBAFETT! NARRATOR caught BOBAFETT! BOBAFETT's sense of SECURITY greaty dropped! blink... I didn't know Narrators could do that... NARRATOR is cackling at PSYDUCK! Let me guess. Narra- NARRATOR wants to fight! ... yeah. I don't know how you even caught that poor guy or even why I'm bothering... but... go me. sigh Get'm, PSYDUCK! Yeah, that's real motivational... NARRATOR sent out BOBAFETT! BOBAFETT: ... Ack... what...? Erk... BOBAFETT is CONFUSED! Obviously... BOBAFETT: Did I just come out of a ball?! Yep. BOBAFETT: But... how... urk... NARRATOR thwapped BOBAFETT out of its confusion! BOBAFETT: "It"? I'm a male... It! Just ignore him... NARRATOR cannot be IGNORED! NARRATOR rules ALL! Yeah, yeah... Did you want to fight or not? NARRATOR is LAUGHING MENACINGLY! NARRATOR tells BOBAFETT to hurry up and kill PSYDUCK! BOBAFETT: Why? NARRATOR says it will let you go free if you do as it says! BOBAFETT: I can just go right now if I wanted to. You can't stop me. NARRATOR says that it controls BOBAFETT! NARRATOR resumes LAUGHING MENACINGLY! Might as well finish this up... mega punch. PSYDUCK used MEGA PUNCH! PSYDUCK punched BOBAFETT really hard! BOBAFETT: Ouch! What are you attacking me for?! Gotta proove a point. Sorry. BOBAFETT used BLASTER! HOLSTER was BLASTED! BOBAFETT: Ack! NARRATOR says that you must DRAW the BLASTER for the attack to WORK! BOBAFETT: Well, don't blame me, Mr. All-Mighty-Dismembered-Voice! You're the one making me do stuff without warning! You should have made me draw the thing! He's got a point there... NARRATOR says for PSYDUCK to SHUSH! Well, he does! Can't blame a guy for being right, now can you? NARRATOR used SHUSH! NARRATOR is SHUSHING at PSYDUCK! Oh, please. BOBAFETT draws BLASTER! NARRATOR is CACKLING MANIACALLY! ... BOBAFETT aims BLASTER at PSYDUCK's HEAD! ... sigh... PSYDUCK is getting IMPATIENT! BOBAFETT uses BLASTER! PSYDUCK - PSYDUCK steps out of the way! - was BLA-...! ... BOBAFETT: Now, how do you just step out of the way of an oncoming blaster bolt? I have no idea. NARRATOR is ANGRY! BOBAFETT used POKE! BOBAFETT poked PSYDUCK! Oh, like that's going to do anything... PSYDUCK grabs onto BOBAFETT's ARM! BOBAFETT: ? PSYDUCK used TOSS! BOBAFETT was TOSSED into a SARLACC! BOBAFETT: AGH! NOOOOO! BOBAFETT SCREAMS as it topples inside the SARLACC! BOBAFETT faints! Now, if we're done here... NARRATOR is REALLY ANGRY! NARRATOR says it wil get you some other time! NARRATOR ran away! PSYDUCK wins! sigh What a dink... I can't believe that that ... umm... person, of all people, has to be the narrator... PSYDUCK slowly WALKS AWAY! ... BOBAFETT slowly WAKES UP! BOBAFETT: ...I'm starting to hate this place very much. SARLACC makes GROWLY NOISES at BOBAFETT! BOBAFETT: ... sigh... Battle #2: Quite Indigestable July 14, 2000 Location:Inside the Sarlacc Player: Boba Fett [0-1-0] Loss vs. Psyduck SARLACC pokes at BOBAFETT with SLIMEY TENTACLES! ... sigh... of all the places I could be right now, some messed up webmistress just had to stick me in some freaky...shudder... pokemon thing... PokèMon! That's what I said. BOBAFETT said POKEMON, not POKèMON! è makes all the difference! The Narrator must really be running short of ideas already if its criticizing a simple error that should have been fixed before this was posted... NARRATOR says its to add length! And it's 2 AM! ... Right. Anyways, I gotta get out of here... BOBAFETT tries to SQUIRM! SLIMEY TENTACLES have BOBAFETT pinned against SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL! I'm quite aware of that, thank you. Now... ugh... If only I could get my arm free... BOBAFETT gets his ARM FREED! Oh. That's convenient. Which arm, though? Since apparently I can't see anything if someone has to tell me what's going on... Either! Ok. Let's say... I got my left arm free, then... BOBAFETT frees his LEFT ARM! Alrighties. Now to plan my escape. BOBAFETT plans to BURN his way out and KILL SARLACC! Ack! SARLACC becomes ANGRY! SLIMEY TENTACLES start to THRASH ANGRILY! No! I plan to, uhhh... have a barbeque for the Sarlacc! Yeah...! A barbeque of SLIMEY TENTACLES! No! SARLACC wants to fight! I would fight if I wasn't stuck against a wall... SLIMEY TENTACLES let BOBAFETT go! Ha! Now I am free to bring firey death upon you! My flame thrower shall teach you not to eat me! Go! FLAMETHROWER! SARLACC sent out SLIMEY TENTACLES! You are no match for me! Flamethrower, burn it! FLAMETHROWER used BURN! It's not very effective... Huh? Why not? Enemy SLIMEY TENTACLES are covered in ICKY, GOOEY, SLICK SLIME! Also FLAME RETARDANT! Oh. Shoulda guessed that... Oh, well. I have another plan... BOBAFETT withdrew FLAMETHROWER! Get'm, CAPE! Bwuaha! Now go and wipe up that slime! CAPE used WIPE! CAPE wiped SLIMEY TENTABLES DRY! Enemy SLIMEY TENTACLES renamed TENTACLES! Ha! Good work, my trust cape, though I'm not sure how you went out there and did that by yourself since you're an inanimate object... What? CAPE is devolving! CAPE devolved into RAG! What for? BOBAFETT is in SARLACC! SLIME is ACIDIC! Always gotta turn on me somewhere... Enemy TENTACLES used SMACK! RAG was SMACKED into more SLIME! That's not good... What? RAG is devolving! RAG devolved into STRING! STRING dissolved! Use next PokèMon? Hmph. Wasted a good cape... You'll pay! Now for the flamethrower! The enemy's weak! Do it, FLAMETHROWER! Now use your burn attack! FLAMETHROWER used BURN! FLAMETHROWER is BURNING TENTACLES! It's super effective! Yes! Enemy TENTACLES fainted! Way to go! Stupid Sarlacc is no match for us! SARLACC sent out SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL! Squishey, huh? No matter! Burn, burn, BURN! BOBAFETT is officially a PYROMANIAC! FLAMETHROWER used BURN! FLAMETHROWER is BURNING a pathetically small portion of SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL! Hurry and burn the whole thing! Enemy SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL used SMASH! SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL falls over and SMASHES FLAMETHROWER! Ack... FLAMETHROWER's fuel line leaks! FLAMETHROWER sends out FIRE! FLAMETHROWER faints! Use next PokèMon? Well.. since the fire's already out there... might as well use that! Go! FIRE! Now, go and finish up what the flamethrower started! FIRE is loafing around! FIRE joins SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL! What?! Traitor! FIRE sets SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL ABLAZE! It's super effective! Good fire! Yesss! Enemy SQUISHEY INTESTINAL WALL faints... ... on top of FIRE! FIRE faints! Use next PokèMon? Hmm... I don't really have anything else to use... SARLACC is FURIOUS! SARLACC sent out SARLACC! Time for some one-on-one? Heh! I accept! Get'm, BOBAFETT! This should be easy since its parts are gone... Enemy SARLACC still has a MOUTH! Yeah, but outside. I can blow it up from the inside so it won't have a mouth! Enemy SARLACC turns its mouth INSIDE-OUT! Eeeew! Enemy SARLACC used BITE! SARLACC doesn't have any teeth to BITE with! The advantage is mine! I'll just use my viroblade and- OAK: BOBAFETT! This is not the time to use that! Well, why not? I need to escape, I can just cut my way out and- OAK: BOBAFETT! This is not the time to use that! Urgh! Screw this then! I'll just use a thermal detona- OAK: BOBAFETT! This is not the time to use that! ... Fine... I'll just.. DIG out or something! BOBAFETT used DIG! BOBAFETT managed to DIG through SARLACC! Enemy SARLACC used GORE! SARLACC squirted assorted bits of GORE through its wounds at BOBAFETT! It's super effective! No...! Not... clean... ugh... BOBAFETT is paralyzed! It may not attack! No! I can't... lose... now... Enemy SARLACC used SHAKE! SARLACC shook a mountain of SAND onto BOBAFETT! Agh! Must... dig through! BOBAFETT is MOTIVATED! BOBAFETT used DIG! BOBAFETT dug through SAND! Ahhh... the sweet, sweet surface... Now to finish this pest... let's clog it up with sand! BOBAFETT used KICK! BOBAFETT kicked a lot of SAND into SARLACC! It's choking SARLACC! Enemy SARLACC fainted! BOBAFETT wins! Ha! I always win! BOBAFETT lost in Battle #1! That wasn't even a real battle! BOBAFETT still LOST! Silence with you! I have better things to worry about... like where I am... BOBAFETT is still covered in GORE! It's super effective! Ack! Shush! I'll clean up as soon as I find a 'fresher! BOBAFETT wanders off in search of CLEANLINESS! SUSEJO appears! SUSEJO crawls out of SARLACC! SUSEJO: Darn you, Fett! I'll get you for this now that I can't live in that thing anymore! Vweeheeheehee! SUSEJO laughs like KEFKA and VOWS REVENGE! Battle #3: Da Kitty July 26, 2000 Location:Deb's Fortress Player: Deb [No Record] DEB is WATCHING TV! Ahhh... how nice it is to be a webmistress of my very own version... It's like having my own universe to control... mwuaha... KITTY appeared! Awwww, heyas, Kitty! What'cha up to? KITTY wants to know why its food dish is empty! Oh. I suppose I just forgot about that... KITTY wants to know why its room is messed up! I guess I forgot about that, too... KITTY wants to know why DEB has been such a LAZY A- Ack! I get your point, Kitty. VACUUM CLEANER appeared! Eh? KITTY wants DEB to get up and DO SOMETHING! I don't wanna. And I dun gotsa. I'm the ruler here, remember? KITTY thought NARRATOR was! Nah. He's just my little evil pawn, mwuaha. KITTY doesn't care! KITTY wants to fight! Fight me? Why? DEB has been sitting around doing NOTHING for the past WEEK OR SO! So? I have other things to do... being an all-mighty webmistress and all... KITTY wants to know what DEB's been doing! ... errr... well... KITTY still wants to fight! Hmph. Fine! I'll fight! KITTY sent out VACUUM CLEANER! Ack! Eeeehh... I'll use... umm... this remote will have to do... Get'm, REMOTE! Enemy VACUUM CLEANER used SUCK! VACUUM CLEANER is sucking at the CARPET! Heh! Throw your batteries at it! REMOTE used THROW! REMOTE was THROWN at VACUUM CLEANER! Err... REMOTE hit VACUUM CLEANER's BAG! Enemy VACUUM CLEANER's BAG was popped! VACUUM CLEANER faints! Ha! Take that, Kitty! Nyah nyah nyah! KITTY send out KITTY! Hehehe, fine! Come back, remote, and go, ME! DEB recalled REMOTE! Go, DEB! You can't beat me, Kitty! Mwuahahahaha! KITTY used CLAW! KITTY sunk her claws into DEB's LEG! ACK! Bad, Kitty! Get offa mah leg! DEB used THROW! DEB THREW some katnip at KITTY! KITTY lets go of DEB's LEG! Hehehe... KITTY is getting pumped up! Wha...? I didn't wanna do that... KITTY used BITE! KITTY latched onto DEB's HAND! Aaaaaaack! It's super effective! DEB flails its ARMS ABOUT! Ouchies, ouchies, ouchies! KITTY starts to CHEW! O_O AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's super effective! I GIVE! Lemme go! KITTY lets go! DEB ran away! I did? Oh, well, s'long as Kitty dun hurt me... KITTY wins! DEB is in GREAT PAIN! Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie... sniffle Evil Kitty! KITTY wants to know if DEB won't be so lazy anymore! I won't... evil cat... KITTY wants DEB to- I know, I know... grumble, grumble DEB walked off! KITTY meows happily! KITTY: Buhwhuahwhuah... Now that she knows who's boss, I can set my plans... Comment on this Battle! Battle #4: Tuna on Rye July 28, 2000 Location: Deb's Fortress Player: Kitty [1-0-0] Win vs. Deb Mwuahaha... Now that I've gotten that insolent Deb to actually do some work around here, I've no one to keep an eye on me... perfect... NARRATOR is WATCHING KITTY! Agh! Why must you constantly be here? Don't you have any other people to pester? NARRATOR is on it's BREAK! NARRATOR is free to pick on KITTY! Grrrr... so be it. KITTY wanders into the kitchen! Might as well pass the time before I'm free again. Now, Narrator, open the cabinet! NARRATOR is loafing around! KITTY falls over for no apparent reason! Ack! Toy with me, will ye? I'll show you to defy the loyal cat of the ruler of Ruby Version! NARRATOR forgot that KITTY is DEB's CAT! KITTY is suddenly set upright again! Hmph! Now do as I say! CABINET mysteriously OPENS! Good. Now then... make me a sandwich! Tuna on rye! SANDWICH appears! Mwuaha! Good Narrator, you shall be rewarded... KITTY used EAT! SANDWICH doesn't want to be eaten! SANDWICH hid in the CABINET! ... Oh, fine. Stupid sandwich... STUPID NARRATOR! NARRATOR is ANGRY! KITTY is suddenly dre- Deb's cat, Deb's cat!!! Errrr...fluffy! Hmph. Now to get my sandwich... SANDWICH is still HIDING! CABINET's door CLOSED! Argh! By command of the Royal Kitty, open up and relinquish the sandwich! CABINET doesn't like KITTY! KITTY doesn't like CABINET! Mwuahaha... you dare to defy me? CABINET does! Then you shall pay! I challenge thee to a fight! CABINET wants to fight! Mwuahaha! Now prepare to face the wrath of Kitty! I shall destroy you!!! Get'm, Kitty! CABINET sent out CABINET! Haha! A mere part of kitchen scenery is no match for me... I shall claw you to unbelievably tiny pieces, mwuaha! KITTY used CLAW! KITTY's CLAWS impaled CABINET! Hehe, victory is at hand! KITTY's CLAWS are stuck in CABINET! KITTY is STUCK! Ack! CABINET used DOORSWING! CABINET's DOORS began to thrash about wildly! Aaaahhhh! Narrator, curse you, help! NARRATOR can't intefere in BATTLES! Don't lie! I've seen what ye cursed kind do in the other versions! Now, help me less ye worry not of your life! NARRATOR grumbles angrily! CABINET suddenly MELTED! CABINET died! Cabinets can melt? Oh, well. Now for the prize! SANDWICH is stuck in the melted CABINET! Mwuaha... Narrator! Fetch the sandwich, will you? NARRATOR grumbles some more! SANDWICH was flung at KITTY! KITTY is smacked in the face with SANDWICH! Ack! Grrrr... ye shall pay for that, Narrator, beware! But later... mwuaha... SANDWICH falls to the floor! ... 5 second rule, 5 second rule, must get it before that passes! KITTY grabbed SANDWICH off the FLOOR! But 5 seconds have alrea- Ruler of Ruby Version... Errr... NOW passed! Hmph. Good Narrator. Now run along. Your foolishness shall be forgiven this time... SANDWICH squirms! Hmph. Squirm all ye wish, you shall not escape me this time! SANDWICH escapes! ... SANDWICH ran away! NARRATOR ran away! Curses! Oh, well... they shall pay next time... They shan't get away with fooling with me! Mwuahahahaha! Comment on this Battle! Battle #5: Pasta Dance 7-29-2000 Location: Deb's Fortress(again) Player: Deb grumble, grumble There... that oughta keep the cat quiet about how I don't do much around here... Cleaned the whole place. Whew... NARRATOR appears! There's always gotta be one of them... sigh What do you want? NARRATOR says that KITTY has been acting weird lately! Yes, I know. NARRATOR thinks KITTY is up to something! If you're not just plain annoying, you're paranoid... NARRATOR is being HONEST! Hm. Well... what makes you think that Kitty is up to something? KITTY has been going through spell books! Uh huh. KITTY has been hiding a lot of things! Yeah... KITTY has conjured a small army of macaroni! ... ... ... riiight. NARRATOR isn't LYING! MACARONI appeared! blink Eh? What the- MACARONI looks evil! Ain't that just creepy... MACARONI gives DEB an EVIL GLARE! O_o;; MACARONI wants to fight! Glare at me, will you? Hehe... I'll fight... Go, Narrator! The enemy is unbelievably weak! Go, NARRATOR! Enemy MACARONI sends out MACARONI! MACARONI says that DEB isn't fighting fair! Too bad, you got yourself into this, pasta boy. Narrator, let's not mess around... Just kill the little thing. NARRATOR used NARRATORPOWER! MACARONI was sucked into a BLACK HOLE that just happened to appear for a brief second! DEB wins! Hm. That was rather short... A pity, almost. KITTY appeared! Kitty! What are you doing running around making macaroni attack people? KITTY says it doesn't know what DEB is talking about! Sure you don't... Say, just where did all my little spell books go? KITTY says it doesn't know! NARRATOR says KITTY is a LIAR! KITTY wants NARRATOR to go- Hush! MACARONI appeared! MACARONI appeared! MACARONI appeared! Why is the fortress being invaded by a bunch of macaroni, Kitty? KITTY snickers evilly! KITTY curses NARRATOR for pointing that out! A-ha! Something is up... Now tell me, Kitty! KITTY refuses! Narrator, if you will... NARRATOR is going to use NARRATORPOWERS on KITTY! KITTY growls angrily at NARRATOR! MACARONI growls as well! MACARONI growls as well! MACARONI growls as well! Forget the cat, get the macaroni out of there. They're starting to creep me out... MACARONI is smashed by some unseen force! MACARONI is smashed by some unseen force! MACARONI is smashed by some unseen force! What? MACARONI is devolving! MACARONI devolved into MUSH! What? MACARONI is devolving! MACARONI devolved into MUSH! What? MACARONI is devolving! MACARONI devolved into MUSH! Is it really necessary to repeat that over and over again? It's not funny. KITTY growls some more! KITTY wants to know why NARRATOR squished its macaroni warriors! Macaroni warriors? Ha! NARRATOR will squish KITTY as well! KITTY wants to know if DEB wants to be gnawed at again! Nah. That's Ok, Kitty... Just run along and try not to make any more macaroni. KITTY growls! NARRATOR gives KITTY a kick! KITTY is KICKed away! That really wasn't neccessary, you know... but oh, well. Heh heh... macaroni warriors... like that's gonna happen... Hint hint! Huh? NARRATOR didn't say anything! Hmm... Well... back to the good 'ol Playstation for me... Sony Playstation 2! Debuting in the US on October 26, 2000! Go reserve yours now! Ugh... stupid ads... can't go anywhere without having one of those shoved in your face...sigh (Link to Network board currently unavailable :/) // Continue to battles 6-10 //